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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

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NaTeWHO

NaTeWHO 848

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Had a weekend at the ranch and soon after we got back home, wife realized she left the stove on boiling water in the bunk house. She just made it to the ranch (100 miles) with no damage, just a really hot pot. Uncle who was still in the area could have drove about 15 minutes and turned it off. Wife couldn't handle someone who's known her her entire life knowing she left the stove on as if the person who's know her her entire life doesn't already know she can't remember shit and this is pretty typical. Totally worth 200 miles round trip. I am wife free for the evening, so that's nice.

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Longboard Horn

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On 2/7/2023 at 2:14 PM, Crapinon said:

OK, one of the bigger ones. Ten years ago, test showed I might have cancer and I scheduled an MRI and biopsy, 3 moths in advance. This required two days in Dallas and I was not able to drive myself after the procedures. She decided that it was more important to go to a Women of Faith conference with her friends and leave me hanging. She said they would pray for me. I didn't want to reschedule, because cancer. She was clueless why I was mad for her screwing with my MRI AND CANCER BIOPSY. I ended up having to call a friend and his wife drove me to the procedures over a two day period. She didn't even call to see how it went because the conference went all day. She's done similar shit over a surgery I had (wouldn't take the day off to drive me) and didn't even check on me until it ran 3 hours late. And there was a time when I had  a 3 day hospital stay, fighting an infection after another biopsy gone wrong. She was out of town the first day but the second day she was "too tired" to stop by the hospital on her way home. And I could literally look out my window and watch her drive by on the freeway when she passed. And did I mention the 7 months with no sex episode?

 

Why the fuck are you still married to that selfish woman? Fuck that. Go out and raw dog some strange. 

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956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34314

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The inability to understand time, how does it work still kills me 17 years in. 
 

Today my wife announced in the morning that she had concert tickets for me and her and a babysitter lined up. Let’s go get a bite then to the concert. I had no idea but was game.  “Be ready by 6,” she says, the concert is at 7:30. I think that cuts it close, but she’s planning not me. I won’t argue this one, just watch it unfold because usually I’m the one “hurrying her.” 
 

The babysitter comes at 6, and of course wife is locked in the bathroom. We show up at the venue at 6:50; so she asks “where are we eating?”

Me: If you want to make this concert, we will get a snack at the buffet in the concert hall. There’s no way we go to a restaurant l, get seated, order, eat, pay, then back here and through the coat check in 40 minutes. And if we aren’t in our chairs at third bell, they won’t let us in. 

Her: Well, maybe if you’d made a reservation somewhere we’d have dinner. 
 

Me: No restaurant that takes reservations is getting us in and out in half a hour. We’d be lucky to get through McDonalds at that rate. 

Her: Huffle, snuffle, hungry. 

Then the concert ended at 9:30 and she announced she wanted tapas. And got pissed when I reminded her that we promised we’d be home for the 14 year old babysitter’s parents to get her at 10:00 because it’s a school night. 

 

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Pig Bellmont

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On 2/19/2023 at 9:28 PM, NaTeWHO said:

Had a weekend at the ranch and soon after we got back home, wife realized she left the stove on boiling water in the bunk house. She just made it to the ranch (100 miles) with no damage, just a really hot pot. Uncle who was still in the area could have drove about 15 minutes and turned it off. Wife couldn't handle someone who's known her her entire life knowing she left the stove on as if the person who's know her her entire life doesn't already know she can't remember shit and this is pretty typical. Totally worth 200 miles round trip. I am wife free for the evening, so that's nice.

It’d be a hell of a lot more embarrassing to have burned down the place, but maybe that’s just me. 

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Guadaloopy

Guadaloopy 10903

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Wife woke up with laryngitis yesterday.  I'm sympathetic, because I had a bad bout of laryngitis for three weeks after a week of the flu back in December.  I remember very clearly from my Dr visit during that time that the main treatment for laryngitis is complete vocal rest, including refraining from whispering which puts as much if not more strain on your vocal cords.  I told her that she needed to rest her voice, including whispering, for the day.

Of course she dismisses what I am telling her - "Oh, you just read that on the internet" - and proceeds to talk to me ALL DAY in a whisper.  So that means that any time she had something to say, which seemed to be more often than normal, I had to stop whatever I was doing and shift 100% attention to her to try and decipher what she was saying.  

By the end of the day, my energy for this was absolutely exhausted.  

Her:  You seem upset.  What is wrong with you?

Me:  To be honest... I'm a bit annoyed that you dismissed my advice and have not rested your voice at all today.

Her:  Now you're just being mean.

Me:  I just want you to feel better.

Tone.

 

 

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17379

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1 hour ago, Guadaloopy said:

Wife woke up with laryngitis yesterday.  I'm sympathetic, because I had a bad bout of laryngitis for three weeks after a week of the flu back in December.  I remember very clearly from my Dr visit during that time that the main treatment for laryngitis is complete vocal rest, including refraining from whispering which puts as much if not more strain on your vocal cords.  I told her that she needed to rest her voice, including whispering, for the day.

Of course she dismisses what I am telling her - "Oh, you just read that on the internet" - and proceeds to talk to me ALL DAY in a whisper.  So that means that any time she had something to say, which seemed to be more often than normal, I had to stop whatever I was doing and shift 100% attention to her to try and decipher what she was saying.  

By the end of the day, my energy for this was absolutely exhausted.  

Her:  You seem upset.  What is wrong with you?

Me:  To be honest... I'm a bit annoyed that you dismissed my advice and have not rested your voice at all today.

Her:  Now you're just being mean.

Me:  I just want you to feel better.

Tone.

But if any of her 17 girlfriends had passed along the advice, she would have been locked in.

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High Plains Drifter

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Been a while since I have visited this thread. Reading all this shit stresses me out for some reason, but today... I have to post.

 

So, this morning wife has to leave early. She's up early, I hear her leave the house, car doors slamming, then back in the house and a lot of panicked rustling around, then finally "I can't find my car keys, I going to take my car key off your key chain." I'm half asleep but thinking this doesn't sound good, but she's late and I'm not going to argue.

Fast forward, around lunch today I get a text from my neighbor "Hey drifter, I saw your mailbox doors was open, but I couldn't close it because the lock is turned, preventing it from closing."

Fuck, so I stop to check the mail on the way home and sure enough, the mailbox was open. I get out my mailbox key so I can unlock it and close it and relock it and yep (can you see what's coming here), her keys (all three cars' fobs and house and mailbox keys) are all in the open mailbox, which has our address right there on the inside of the open door.

This is the series of events as best as I can reconstruct them:

 

Yesterday, wife comes home from work, stops to check the mail. Gets out of the car with her keys (keyless ingnition, so car keeps running even if you get out with the fob), opens mail door, locks mail door with the door still open, removes keys from mailbox lock, sets keys in the mailbox while she flips through the mail, leaves key in mailbox without trying to shut door, gets back in car, drives home, turns off push button ignition, comes in house (I was already home so front door was unlocked), never checks purse for keys until the next day when the car won't start because her fob was not in her purse.

I didn't ask but I would bet my life savings she was talking on the phone during all that.

Edited by High Plains Drifter
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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8799

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I absolutely loathe everything about keyless ignitions. The fact that anyone can drive off without a key is insane. Not sure how far it’s going to go. When I experimented this with a coworkers ford edge once, I was able to go at least 5 blocks without a fob.

I also help my mail box key separate from my other keys

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High Plains Drifter

High Plains Drifter 10970

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2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I absolutely loathe everything about keyless ignitions. The fact that anyone can drive off without a key is insane. Not sure how far it’s going to go. When I experimented this with a coworkers ford edge once, I was able to go at least 5 blocks without a fob.

I also help my mail box key separate from my other keys

 

what I hate about them is you can't hide a key in the car anywhere.

 

 

 

 

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NWBuck

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10 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I absolutely loathe everything about keyless ignitions. The fact that anyone can drive off without a key is insane. Not sure how far it’s going to go. When I experimented this with a coworkers ford edge once, I was able to go at least 5 blocks without a fob.

I also help my mail box key separate from my other keys

Dropped in-laws off at airport, and drove away. Got about four miles before I realized that he still had the keyfob (I dropped them off and then kept their car).

Was able to connect with him and get it back before they took off. He'd made it through security though... didn't think anything of it when he put the fob in the bowl at the screening area.

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nnm

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18 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Been a while since I have visited this thread. Reading all this shit stresses me out for some reason, but today... I have to post.

 

So, this morning wife has to leave early. She's up early, I hear her leave the house, car doors slamming, then back in the house and a lot of panicked rustling around, then finally "I can't find my car keys, I going to take my car key off your key chain." I'm half asleep but thinking this doesn't sound good, but she's late and I'm not going to argue.

Fast forward, around lunch today I get a text from my neighbor "Hey drifter, I saw your mailbox doors was open, but I couldn't close it because the lock is turned, preventing it from closing."

Fuck, so I stop to check the mail on the way home and sure enough, the mailbox was open. I get out my mailbox key so I can unlock it and close it and relock it and yep (can you see what's coming here), her keys (all three cars' fobs and house and mailbox keys) are all in the open mailbox, which has our address right there on the inside of the open door.

This is the series of events as best as I can reconstruct them:

 

Yesterday, wife comes home from work, stops to check the mail. Gets out of the car with her keys (keyless ingnition, so car keeps running even if you get out with the fob), opens mail door, locks mail door with the door still open, removes keys from mailbox lock, sets keys in the mailbox while she flips through the mail, leaves key in mailbox without trying to shut door, gets back in car, drives home, turns off push button ignition, comes in house (I was already home so front door was unlocked), never checks purse for keys until the next day when the car won't start because her fob was not in her purse.

I didn't ask but I would bet my life savings she was talking on the phone during all that.

Well done. This is how this thread works. 

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4445

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11 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I absolutely loathe everything about keyless ignitions. The fact that anyone can drive off without a key is insane. Not sure how far it’s going to go. When I experimented this with a coworkers ford edge once, I was able to go at least 5 blocks without a fob.

I also help my mail box key separate from my other keys

We got a car about a year ago which was our first keyless ignition experiment. Wife left the car running overnight.....

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High Plains Drifter

High Plains Drifter 10970

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1 hour ago, Incredulity said:

I read it as he feels, and I agree, that a wife checking the mail is a humblebrag.  Like a wife mowing the lawn, or taking out the trash, or.......

 

 

lol, but nah. I don't usually get much of anything, other than junk. She's the private attorney, and gets quite a bit of mail.

 

 

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Sam Lin

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14 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

what I hate about them is you can't hide a key in the car anywhere.

If you really need the ability, you can get an RFID blocking case and put the key inside, then leave that in the car. But then it's even more difficult to hide. Commonly sold as faraday boxes.

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Snake Diggity

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Wife is car shopping.  I am frugal, so buying a brand new car is against one of my core values.  On top of that, I consider 2023 to be one of the worst years in history to buy a new car.  That said, her current car needs to be replaced, so she has to do something and I know it is a lose-lose situation for me.  So I gave my opinion early on and then have tried my best to stay out of it as much as possible.  A couple of weeks ago she announced she’d decided on which make/model/trim she wanted.

Yesterday she calls me practically in tears.  She says she called a dealership that had the car she was looking for “on the way”.  Based on what she told me, this is how that conversation went:

Mrs Snake Diggity: “Hello, I see online you’re expecting a such and such with such and such options.  Is that car already sold?”

Salesman: “No but it will be soon.”

MSD: “Oh good.  Well, I want it.  I’ve heard other dealers are marking their cars up over MSRP.  I am willing to pay above MSRP if required.  Are you asking for more than MSRP?  Because if so I’ll pay that.”

Salesman: “…Actually yes, the car will be marked up.  Hang on and let me ask my manager how much the markup is.” (*brief hold*) “Yes ma’am the markup is 20% over MSRP.”

 

*TLDR wife literally suggested to a car salesman that he should add a markup on top of msrp*

Predictably, her convo with me ended poorly, because I was not being “supportive”.  Fuck my life.

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