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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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bluto

bluto 4980

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Posted

Knox's story is a strong honorable mention all conference. The thought of her loading that beast into the car in the heat and defending it by saying a 6 yr old will play with it enough to improve his core strength ... too great

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Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

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From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8963

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Like clockwork man.  Like clockwork.  She always comes home with a bunch of stuff, starting the conversation with, "I saved....".  Last week she came home with this because it was on sale.  I said that'd be great if our boys were 3 years old; they're 6 and 11.  Her counter was that the 6 year-old needed core exercise.  I told her crunches were free.  Tone.
31aL7X37MML.jpg
You need to follow up on this story. Has the 11 yr old used it yet?
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BigDHornfan

BigDHornfan 6625

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3 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Like clockwork man.  Like clockwork.  She always comes home with a bunch of stuff, starting the conversation with, "I saved....".  Last week she came home with this because it was on sale.  I said that'd be great if our boys were 3 years old; they're 6 and 11.  Her counter was that the 6 year-old needed core exercise.  I told her crunches were free.  Tone.

See the source image

pics of wife on it?

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North Austin

North Austin 10

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Like clockwork man.  Like clockwork.  She always comes home with a bunch of stuff, starting the conversation with, "I saved....".  Last week she came home with this because it was on sale.  I said that'd be great if our boys were 3 years old; they're 6 and 11.  Her counter was that the 6 year-old needed core exercise.  I told her crunches were free.  Tone.

See the source image

I think she is trying to tell you she wants more kids.

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Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 6262

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No, she definitely doesn't want another child.  Our 6 year-old is that kid.  You know.  The one that gets a note home from the teacher EVERY, SINGLE day of the school year.  So no.  No more kids.

The teeter-totter thing is sitting in the 2nd living room right next to the antique light fixture she purchased 6 months ago.  That would be the one that's to go in the dining room; however, 3 of the 6 light casings are missing.

On a related note, she went to IKEA Saturday.  I asked her to buy me a small shelf to put the Echo Dot on in the bathroom so it and the cord are out of the way.  She came home with a 36X24 in mirror that has a small glass shelf attached to the bottom.  "It was cheaper to buy it that way," she said.  All I wanted was a small shelf, to put on the wall, to hold something the size of an Echo.  Now I've got a 24-inch glass shelf and a giant, unneeded mirror.

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11991

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Posted
20 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

No, she definitely doesn't want another child.  Our 6 year-old is that kid.  You know.  The one that gets a note home from the teacher EVERY, SINGLE day of the school year.  So no.  No more kids.

The teeter-totter thing is sitting in the 2nd living room right next to the antique light fixture she purchased 6 months ago.  That would be the one that's to go in the dining room; however, 3 of the 6 light casings are missing.

On a related note, she went to IKEA Saturday.  I asked her to buy me a small shelf to put the Echo Dot on in the bathroom so it and the cord are out of the way.  She came home with a 36X24 in mirror that has a small glass shelf attached to the bottom.  "It was cheaper to buy it that way," she said.  All I wanted was a small shelf, to put on the wall, to hold something the size of an Echo.  Now I've got a 24-inch glass shelf and a giant, unneeded mirror.

uh...... that is ENTIRELY your fault.  If you wanted a small shelf, you should have gone to Ikea and bought one yourself.... or, crazy idea, checked craigslist for a shelf that would work and get it yourself.

 

telling your wife to buy what seems like a basic request at Ikea is just a disaster waiting to happen.  hell, even if you told her something specific, like, Hey I need a desklamp that is no taller than 15 inches and wider than 8 inches..... she would probably buy the lamp..... AND a shelf to put that lamp on as well because "it needs to go somewhere when you arent using it on the desk"

 

cant blame the wife for this one bud, its all you.

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26439

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27 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

On a related note, she went to IKEA Saturday.  I asked her to buy me a small shelf to put the Echo Dot on in the bathroom so it and the cord are out of the way.  She came home with a 36X24 in mirror that has a small glass shelf attached to the bottom.  "It was cheaper to buy it that way," she said.  All I wanted was a small shelf, to put on the wall, to hold something the size of an Echo.  Now I've got a 24-inch glass shelf and a giant, unneeded mirror.

Be thankful it wasn't a 6 foot crab.

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Brewin’1up

Brewin’1up 34

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Posted
  1. complains about the clutter in the garage.
  2. says she wants to have a garage sale.
  3. brings home more random stuff that her grandmother was going to throw away.
  4. puts it in the garage.
  5. complains about having to sort/price stuff for her garage sale (which likely wont happen for another 6mos).
  6. complains about the clutter in the garage.
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Ojo Rojo

Ojo Rojo 2040

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Posted
18 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Hell, my next pool in my next house is going to be tricked out with all of the automatic controllers. I hate fucking with those valves myself, much less trying to tell my wife how to do it. 

Someone could make an absolute mint if they developed a machine that would automatically add chemicals to your pool.  It's a huge pain in the ass.  Right now I'm too cheap to hire a pool guy, but I'm quickly getting over it.

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Chad Fuck

Chad Fuck 18090

Posted
Posted
  1. complains about the clutter in the garage.
  2. says she wants to have a garage sale.
  3. brings home more random stuff that her grandmother was going to throw away.
  4. puts it in the garage.
  5. complains about having to sort/price stuff for her garage sale (which likely wont happen for another 6mos).
  6. complains about the clutter in the garage.

I feel a “tone” moment coming on.
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gyroprotagonist

gyroprotagonist 2597

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Posted
1 hour ago, Brewin’1up said:
  1. complains about the clutter in the garage.
  2. says she wants to have a garage sale.
  3. brings home more random stuff that her grandmother was going to throw away.
  4. puts it in the garage.
  5. complains about having to sort/price stuff for her garage sale (which likely wont happen for another 6mos).
  6. complains about the clutter in the garage.

We just had the Salvation Army out to take as much crap from the garage as possible.  Wife went to all the trouble of sorting things and putting price tags on things and even got a permit for a garage sale.  It rained that weekend and we never got motivated to attempt it again. 

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Brewin’1up

Brewin’1up 34

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Posted

I feel like Pampered Chef invents kitchen tools for problems that doesn't exist, just so they can sell you the tool - like do you really need a special knife to cut an avocado, or clean the seeds out of a bell pepper? She'd go her friends parties and order all this crap. I finally got her to agree to sort through the kitchen drawers and cabinets and get rid of the stuff we don't use. Several hundred dollars worth of Pampered Chef stuff ended up on the counter.

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AM Wood

AM Wood 335

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Posted
52 minutes ago, Brewin’1up said:

I feel like Pampered Chef invents kitchen tools for problems that doesn't exist, just so they can sell you the tool - like do you really need a special knife to cut an avocado, or clean the seeds out of a bell pepper? She'd go her friends parties and order all this crap. I finally got her to agree to sort through the kitchen drawers and cabinets and get rid of the stuff we don't use. Several hundred dollars worth of Pampered Chef stuff ended up on the counter.

your wife on some other site on a thread called husbands and the stupid shit they do: "why do they need sockets, and pass thru sockets? it's like they're just making this shit up to sell them more stuff."

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AM Wood

AM Wood 335

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6 minutes ago, Brewin’1up said:

Except I actually use my sockets... there was Pampered Chef shit in the drawer that we had owned for years and Never used.

i've owned a set of pass thrus for over 5 years and i still haven't used them. thank you harbor freight for making shit tools at incredibly cheap prices. 

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Modessit

Modessit 5665

Posted
Posted
Anyone else's wife re-watching Dawson's Creek and then getting pissed when you don't want to watch it? No?  Fuck Pacey btw
I mentioned to my wife that he's in that Showtime series The Affair and now she's binge watching it because Pacey.
So - my wife has finally caught up on The Affair and admitted she's watching it mainly because of "Pacey".

Then I got this nugget:

Wife: He's so 'Pacey' in this. I don't know what it is, but he doesn't just walk - he SAUNTERS.
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Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8952

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1 hour ago, Brewin’1up said:

I feel like Pampered Chef invents kitchen tools for problems that doesn't exist, just so they can sell you the tool - like do you really need a special knife to cut an avocado, or clean the seeds out of a bell pepper? She'd go her friends parties and order all this crap. I finally got her to agree to sort through the kitchen drawers and cabinets and get rid of the stuff we don't use. Several hundred dollars worth of Pampered Chef stuff ended up on the counter.

So I do almost all of the cooking at the house.  But the wife can't turn down an invite to a Pampered Chef party.  We have all manner of crap that we don't need.  Nylon knives, chopper thing, something to breakup ground beef and sausage when browning.  The best was when she brought home an egg separator thing and explained how helpful it will be.  Of course, there was already two of those things in the kitchen utensil drawer that was never used.

Got one of those avocado slicers as a Christmas gift from my MIL.

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Anwar Namtut

Anwar Namtut 344

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3 hours ago, gyroprotagonist said:

We just had the Salvation Army out to take as much crap from the garage as possible.  Wife went to all the trouble of sorting things and putting price tags on things and even got a permit for a garage sale.  It rained that weekend and we never got motivated to attempt it again. 

Garage sale permit? 

WTF.gif

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uoftorange

uoftorange 1391

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Posted
5 hours ago, Ojo Rojo said:

Someone could make an absolute mint if they developed a machine that would automatically add chemicals to your pool.  It's a huge pain in the ass.  Right now I'm too cheap to hire a pool guy, but I'm quickly getting over it.

They do...

One example 
https://www.poolsupplyworld.com/hayward-AQL-CHEM-Sense-and-Dispense-ORP-and-pH-Sense-ORP-Dispense/AQL-CHEM.htm?xzm2&ecmpid=aw_pla_search_AQL-CHEM&adtype=paid&gclid=CjwKCAjw-dXaBRAEEiwAbwCi5smEyA8QyhsiNhwVs4gv748xQtWriuxMW6sKx0VGqayg_l-ndp9rYxoC1YgQAvD_BwE

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TKthunder2

TKthunder2 5058

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33 minutes ago, luke duke said:

My wife just labeled all of the light switches. We’ve lived here since 2006.

d9e5ae6a56a7367d1c9ca042383fd287.jpg

LULZ we built our house and I specifically asked her how we wanted the light switches and she said to put all the fans on the far left and I did.  We been in this house since 2014 and when I ask her to turn on the fan never picks the correct switch.

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11861

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Posted
5 minutes ago, TKthunder2 said:

LULZ we built our house and I specifically asked her how we wanted the light switches and she said to put all the fans on the far left and I did.  We been in this house since 2014 and when I ask her to turn on the fan never picks the correct switch.

She meant the FAR left, which is the right.

you insensitive prick.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15450

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, TKthunder2 said:

LULZ we built our house and I specifically asked her how we wanted the light switches and she said to put all the fans on the far left and I did.  We been in this house since 2014 and when I ask her to turn on the fan never picks the correct switch.

But did you build it on rock ‘n roll?

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