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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

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wood

wood 11121

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Bumpity bump. Where the fuck has this thread been?

 

Wife tonight at bedtime:

"Alexa, play 'You never even called me by my name', by Edgar Allan Poe."

100% true. You can't make up some of the shit she says. LMFAO. I completely lost it.

 

(no pics, assholes)

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Bumpity bump. Where the fuck has this thread been?
 
Wife tonight at bedtime:
"Alexa, play 'You never even called me by my name', by Edgar Allan Poe."
100% true. You can't make up some of the shit she says. LMFAO. I completely lost it.
 
(no pics, assholes)
Well, I was drunk by The Pit and the Pendulum.
And The Bells bothered me and Lenore.
But The Purloined Letter done gone and broke my Tell-Tale Heart.
And the Raven doth quote, "Nevermore!"
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Nivek

Nivek 16843

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Posted

My wife helped our 6th grader organize his back pack, with folders, notebooks, etc. It is perfect for her.

Yesterday, he comes home talking about what he needs for school and how he can’t find stuff. I listen and suggest a little notepad. She chimes in on how we can get him a day planner with a calendar etc. I can see his expression. We let her finish, she is really excited about this, but I simply reminder her of another concern of hers is the weight of his backpack, the size of a little notepad…. She wants to tell me I am wrong but…. knows I have a better idea here, so she goes quiet for a moment. This morning she reminds me of the day planner idea,

—————————

This morning she tells me we need a new car. The reason, she got a ticket. See, if we had a new car and not an older pos that she keeps getting into accidents with, she might not get a ticketed for breaking the law! Seems logical to me.

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crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2306

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With interest rates where they are, I've started keeping a very low balance in the checking account and trying to park as much money as I can in our various money market and savings accounts. Since I pay the bills, I know when a large withdrawal is coming and I make sure there is sufficient money in the account. 

I'm not sure if the "Stupid Wife" story here is the fact that Mrs CL didn't tell me she wrote a check for $10,000 or if she thinks we need a new $10,000 breakfast table for our new house. Maybe this is a stupid husband story for telling her she could buy whatever furniture she wanted for the new house. My bad. 

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Sam Lin

Sam Lin 3540

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1 hour ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

With interest rates where they are, I've started keeping a very low balance in the checking account and trying to park as much money as I can in our various money market and savings accounts. Since I pay the bills, I know when a large withdrawal is coming and I make sure there is sufficient money in the account. 

I'm not sure if the "Stupid Wife" story here is the fact that Mrs CL didn't tell me she wrote a check for $10,000 or if she thinks we need a new $10,000 breakfast table for our new house. Maybe this is a stupid husband story for telling her she could buy whatever furniture she wanted for the new house. My bad. 

So your check bounced and you saved $10000 and only had to pay a $25 bounced check fee? Pro husband move right there.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28703

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2 hours ago, Nivek said:

This morning she tells me we need a new car. The reason, she got a ticket. See, if we had a new car and not an older pos that she keeps getting into accidents with, she might not get a ticketed for breaking the law! Seems logical to me.

If you get a new car it will run smoother, she won’t feel how fast she’s going, and she’ll get a speeding ticket. ‘It didn’t feel like I was going 90!’

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17385

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Posted
12 hours ago, wood said:

Bumpity bump. Where the fuck has this thread been?

 

Wife tonight at bedtime:

"Alexa, play 'You never even called me by my name', by Edgar Allan Poe."

100% true. You can't make up some of the shit she says. LMFAO. I completely lost it.

 

(no pics, assholes)

Pics?

 

3 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

With interest rates where they are, I've started keeping a very low balance in the checking account and trying to park as much money as I can in our various money market and savings accounts. Since I pay the bills, I know when a large withdrawal is coming and I make sure there is sufficient money in the account. 

I'm not sure if the "Stupid Wife" story here is the fact that Mrs CL didn't tell me she wrote a check for $10,000 or if she thinks we need a new $10,000 breakfast table for our new house. Maybe this is a stupid husband story for telling her she could buy whatever furniture she wanted for the new house. My bad. 

$10K for a damn breakfast table?  Does it come with breakfast included EVERY DAY?

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crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2306

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, TrashMaster G said:

$10K for a damn breakfast table?  Does it come with breakfast included EVERY DAY?

When we started building this house, she hired an interior decorating firm and said one of the reasons she chose them was because they worked on an hourly basis and didn't get commissions on all the stuff they picked out for her. Then, 12 months later, now that the house is almost done, I find out that they recommended $120k worth of furniture, which Mrs CL has supposedly whittled down to "only" $50k, including the $10k breakfast table. I asked why she couldn't just ask them to go a notch below and go a little more consumer level and she replied, "I don't think that's their business model. They want you to buy really nice stuff."

No shit? Really? So they don't work just for an hourly rate?

As usual, there was an issue with my tone. 

Edited by crimsonlonghorn
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Superhero

Superhero 8762

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On 9/6/2023 at 9:15 AM, TrashMaster G said:

This right here.

Man speaks to man = successful communication

Use a woman as an intermediary = chaos ensues and it's the man's fault.

Obviously you have not met my BIL. I've know him for 18 years, and he's terrible at communicating and staying on schedule.

I prefer talking to his wife, who gets to the point, and gets it done right.

The poor communication comes from my wife's side of the family. Everything is left uncertain because someone doesn't check their text; or things or intentionally left vague so noone's fee fee gets hurt.

 

Anyway... after they came over, and I got his side of the story, I'm filling in the blanks in the timeline.

 

(3:55PM) Wife orders food independently from her brother since she didn't hear back from her brother. He had guest at his house and didn't check his phone.

(4:20PM - 5:50PM) We yada yada'ed at home.

Some time between 4:30 and 5:50, my BIL finally steps away to make his order. I'm guessing it was closer to 5:50.

(5:50PM) Wife leaves to get ours AND their burgers.

(6:20PM) Our immediate family eats OUR cold burgers that were ordered at 3:55PM

(7:00PM) BIL's family FINALLY comes after their guest leave to eat their burgers that were probably ordered at 5:50.
 

TLDR:

The original plan: BIL orders, pays, picks up the food; everyone eats together, early, at their house.

What actually happened: We order and pay for our own food; he orders and pays for their own food; my wife picks up both orders; we eat separately, late, at our house.

 

I was so flabbergasted that I didn't want to talk to my wife or BIL afterwards.

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Nivek

Nivek 16843

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21 hours ago, Superhero said:

Obviously you have not met my BIL. I've know him for 18 years, and he's terrible at communicating and staying on schedule.

I prefer talking to his wife, who gets to the point, and gets it done right.

The poor communication comes from my wife's side of the family. Everything is left uncertain because someone doesn't check their text; or things or intentionally left vague so noone's fee fee gets hurt.

 

Anyway... after they came over, and I got his side of the story, I'm filling in the blanks in the timeline.

 

(3:55PM) Wife orders food independently from her brother since she didn't hear back from her brother. He had guest at his house and didn't check his phone.

(4:20PM - 5:50PM) We yada yada'ed at home.

Some time between 4:30 and 5:50, my BIL finally steps away to make his order. I'm guessing it was closer to 5:50.

(5:50PM) Wife leaves to get ours AND their burgers.

(6:20PM) Our immediate family eats OUR cold burgers that were ordered at 3:55PM

(7:00PM) BIL's family FINALLY comes after their guest leave to eat their burgers that were probably ordered at 5:50.
 

TLDR:

The original plan: BIL orders, pays, picks up the food; everyone eats together, early, at their house.

What actually happened: We order and pay for our own food; he orders and pays for their own food; my wife picks up both orders; we eat separately, late, at our house.

 

I was so flabbergasted that I didn't want to talk to my wife or BIL afterwards.

I want to be supportive so let me pass on some wisdom my FIL shared with me.  "I am going to go here/pick up food from here, at this time, and I'm buying."  There is no debate or discussion.  I do this in my own home, or when I visit my parents/siblings.  

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BHMCruiser

BHMCruiser 1813

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23 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

When we started building this house, she hired an interior decorating firm and said one of the reasons she chose them was because they worked on an hourly basis and didn't get commissions on all the stuff they picked out for her. Then, 12 months later, now that the house is almost done, I find out that they recommended $120k worth of furniture, which Mrs CL has supposedly whittled down to "only" $50k, including the $10k breakfast table. I asked why she couldn't just ask them to go a notch below and go a little more consumer level and she replied, "I don't think that's their business model. They want you to buy really nice stuff."

No shit? Really? So they don't work just for an hourly rate?

As usual, there was an issue with my tone. 

Dude I threw my wife's interior decorator out of our house and told her to never come back. What a racket. They dig into your wife like a fucking tick and I bet your wife ended up doing all the work anyway. 

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BHMCruiser

BHMCruiser 1813

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Just now, BHMCruiser said:

Dude I threw my wife's interior decorator out of our house and told her to never come back. What a racket. They dig into your wife like a fucking tick and I bet your wife ended up doing all the work anyway. 

In fact, when we did a bathroom renovation I called the contractor she used for our earlier work and asked him point blank if he had any issues with working directly with me and cutting her out, because there was no chance I would ever work with her again. He said no problem and we got it done at about a quarter of the cost.

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crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2306

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48 minutes ago, BHMCruiser said:

Dude I threw my wife's interior decorator out of our house and told her to never come back. What a racket. They dig into your wife like a fucking tick and I bet your wife ended up doing all the work anyway. 

Not 100% sure that is the case, but I will say that they haven't told her "no" enough.

Mrs CL has some unique aesthetic preferences and all they've really done is enable her and tell her how to do it more expensively. 

"You want blue tile in every bathroom? Awesome. Here's some really expensive tile that's blue. We hope you like it!"

They are working to make sure it all looks good together, but they also haven't told her she's nuts, which she really needs to hear some times. 

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BHMCruiser

BHMCruiser 1813

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49 minutes ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Not 100% sure that is the case, but I will say that they haven't told her "no" enough.

Mrs CL has some unique aesthetic preferences and all they've really done is enable her and tell her how to do it more expensively. 

"You want blue tile in every bathroom? Awesome. Here's some really expensive tile that's blue. We hope you like it!"

They are working to make sure it all looks good together, but they also haven't told her she's nuts, which she really needs to hear some times. 

Ours couldn't measure anything so it was like being in a funhouse until we got it fixed. Table? Too big. Chairs? Too small. Let's put a 9 foot mirror here. But then you can't walk around the table.....

 

just bullshit

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Not that Bob

Not that Bob 734

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I think the designers code of ethics is "Form over function at all costs!" I called our last "designer" house a "Show Boat"...all show, no go. Some of the most impractical stuff you can imagine. Impractical. Delicate. Useless. I have to check myself to keep from shouting "How in the fuck did you think *that* was a good idea!!!??"
 

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52-80

52-80 19076

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We’re about to patch up holes in the kitchen wall before repainting the whole thing.

Her: wait, let me shop for a chalkboard and paintings that we can mount using the existing holes. 
 

If you think that logic is completely assbackwards….consider that when we were looking for a house, her criteria was that the layout fits our existing furniture. 🫠

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LebongJames

LebongJames 1782

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We recently moved to the Eastern time zone. Wife has lived her entire life in Texas. She has her masters and undergrad from Texas.

Yesterday we met one of my new coworkers to watch the game. My wife saw on UT’s Instagram that the game was starting at 6. She knew the game started at 7 here. She legitimately looked at us and told us to silence our phones because all of our friends still in Texas would be an hour ahead and they would spoil the game.

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8799

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We recently moved to the Eastern time zone. Wife has lived her entire life in Texas. She has her masters and undergrad from Texas.
Yesterday we met one of my new coworkers to watch the game. My wife saw on UT’s Instagram that the game was starting at 6. She knew the game started at 7 here. She legitimately looked at us and told us to silence our phones because all of our friends still in Texas would be an hour ahead and they would spoil the game.

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21781

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9 hours ago, LebongJames said:

We recently moved to the Eastern time zone. Wife has lived her entire life in Texas. She has her masters and undergrad from Texas.

Yesterday we met one of my new coworkers to watch the game. My wife saw on UT’s Instagram that the game was starting at 6. She knew the game started at 7 here. She legitimately looked at us and told us to silence our phones because all of our friends still in Texas would be an hour ahead and they would spoil the game.

You should have asked why didn’t we go to London and put down a bet after we knew who won.

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eljinca

eljinca 279

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Wife from across the room : “I think [our nanny] made pork or swordfish for the kids.”

Eljinca: “did she go to the store? I didn’t buy either yesterday.”

Wife: “I don’t know. It looks like she burned it.”

5 minutes later….

Wife: “Ohhh, it’s potato salad.”

*tommyleejones.gif*

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ztejas

ztejas 43262

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6 hours ago, eljinca said:

Wife from across the room : “I think [our nanny] made pork or swordfish for the kids.”

Eljinca: “did she go to the store? I didn’t buy either yesterday.”

Wife: “I don’t know. It looks like she burned it.”

5 minutes later….

Wife: “Ohhh, it’s potato salad.”

*tommyleejones.gif*

I hate when our nanny makes swordfish for the kids instead of Mahi Mahi. 

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tbone_

tbone_ 14020

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Starting to wonder if a divorce attorney is cheaper than the decorator.
 

It’s not.
Wife from across the room : “I think [our nanny] made pork or swordfish for the kids.”
Eljinca: “did she go to the store? I didn’t buy either yesterday.”
Wife: “I don’t know. It looks like she burned it.”
5 minutes later….
Wife: “Ohhh, it’s potato salad.”
*tommyleejones.gif*

I read this as the nanny made pork sword for the kids. Wtf?
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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18690

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Watching Jets game last night...

Me: Look how Rodgers heel goes down then his calf ripples...he's fucked. That's an Achilles for sure 

Wife: (doesn't look up from phone) oh wow

This morning: Twitter DM from wife, video of Rodgers getting hurt and says it's his Achilles 

Ten minutes after sending DM:

Wife: did you see the DM I sent you? 

Me:

download(4).jpeg.5b5ed60d53fa24d3b5b36d53a26954b4.jpeg

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