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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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Sandman

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I started feeling sick Friday night and was sick through the weekend. Sunday morning my wife asked if I wanted to eat something, I said just some buttered toast. She made it for me and I was grateful. Still sick on Monday and I was home alone. I decided to eat more toast, and I noticed the butter was about 2/3 gone. No need to worry about it, plenty left IMO. I felt better by that evening, so we decided to go to the grocery store. As we walked in the dairy aisle, she exclaimed that she needed to get some more butter. I was confused and said "we still have enough, no biggie". She replied "oh no, that butter is expired. I noticed it Sunday morning." 

Me: So you noticed it was expired, then used it and fed it to me, then put it back in the fridge?

Her: Yes but it wasn't *that* expired. Only a couple of days.

Me: Why not just throw it away? I already ate it again! What purpose did it serve to keep expired food???

Her: Well, I don't know. Ugh. 

I understand that a couple of days isn't a big deal with butter but I hate that shit. I can't tell you how many times I see her go "Oh this sour cream is expired" and she just puts it back on the shelf, to be dealt with another day. 

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28703

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15 hours ago, Sandman said:

I started feeling sick Friday night and was sick through the weekend. Sunday morning my wife asked if I wanted to eat something, I said just some buttered toast. She made it for me and I was grateful. Still sick on Monday and I was home alone. I decided to eat more toast, and I noticed the butter was about 2/3 gone. No need to worry about it, plenty left IMO. I felt better by that evening, so we decided to go to the grocery store. As we walked in the dairy aisle, she exclaimed that she needed to get some more butter. I was confused and said "we still have enough, no biggie". She replied "oh no, that butter is expired. I noticed it Sunday morning." 

Me: So you noticed it was expired, then used it and fed it to me, then put it back in the fridge?

Her: Yes but it wasn't *that* expired. Only a couple of days.

Me: Why not just throw it away? I already ate it again! What purpose did it serve to keep expired food???

Her: Well, I don't know. Ugh. 

I understand that a couple of days isn't a big deal with butter but I hate that shit. I can't tell you how many times I see her go "Oh this sour cream is expired" and she just puts it back on the shelf, to be dealt with another day. 

Check the package. There’s probably no expiration date. It probably says “best by” and either way your refrigerated butter was perfectly fine and didn’t make you sick. You had a slice of buttered toast. If the butter was rancid, you would’ve known. I leave a stick of butter on a plate on the counter for day-to-day use. It’s fine. I bought a bunch on sale awhile back. The best by date is 7/1/23. I’m unconcerned. It’s fine.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15325

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On 7/13/2023 at 3:46 PM, Sandman said:

My wife is a serial "like" abuser. She'll use the word 14 times a sentence. I tease her about it from time to time but it is pretty annoying.

She told me one of her high school teachers just blew up on her one day, unleashed a "OH REALLY? LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE!!!" and embarrassed her. I said "But you never let her stop you. Good for you!". She was unamused. 

Mine always says "and also, too"   

giphy.gif

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 53978

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20 hours ago, Sandman said:

I started feeling sick Friday night and was sick through the weekend. Sunday morning my wife asked if I wanted to eat something, I said just some buttered toast. She made it for me and I was grateful. Still sick on Monday and I was home alone. I decided to eat more toast, and I noticed the butter was about 2/3 gone. No need to worry about it, plenty left IMO. I felt better by that evening, so we decided to go to the grocery store. As we walked in the dairy aisle, she exclaimed that she needed to get some more butter. I was confused and said "we still have enough, no biggie". She replied "oh no, that butter is expired. I noticed it Sunday morning." 

Me: So you noticed it was expired, then used it and fed it to me, then put it back in the fridge?

Her: Yes but it wasn't *that* expired. Only a couple of days.

Me: Why not just throw it away? I already ate it again! What purpose did it serve to keep expired food???

Her: Well, I don't know. Ugh. 

I understand that a couple of days isn't a big deal with butter but I hate that shit. I can't tell you how many times I see her go "Oh this sour cream is expired" and she just puts it back on the shelf, to be dealt with another day. 

Invite her Aunt Bonnie over.

expired-geico.gif

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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21704

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4 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

That’s us. She observes a very strict expiration/ best by policy, with zero tolerance. 
I observe a sight/smell test. Hell, I’m still using milk with a September 8 date- it still smells and tastes ok. Good enough for me. 

spacer.png

BTW, our house is the opposite.  I'm the expiration date Nazi.  She'll cut around the mold on cheese.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18690

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1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

That’s us. She observes a very strict expiration/ best by policy, with zero tolerance. 
I observe a sight/smell test. Hell, I’m still using milk with a September 8 date- it still smells and tastes ok. Good enough for me. 

 

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15325

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On 8/2/2023 at 5:47 PM, tbone_ said:


I could see this two ways. On the one hand, like you said wtf wants another woman bitching at you and not putting out. On the other hand, you’re already miserable so why not increase your chances at pussy by 100%?

Second MIL could be the deal breaker though.

I wonder if there's a logarithmic or perhaps even exponential increase in chances as competition heats up.  

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28703

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3 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

She'll cut around the mold on cheese.

She’s right. Especially with cheese, mold isn’t something to be afraid of. They use mold in the cheese making process.

Also, your milk doesn’t have an expiration date. It doesn’t even have a best by date. It has a “sell by” date. (I’ve never seen it any other way.) It doesn’t turn sour the day after it’s sold. It will still be good for a week-ish after the sell by date. And when it will turn sour can vary depending on temperature and other factors so no one can tell you when it’s going to turn sour. You have to use the smell test. And just because it’s turned sour doesn’t mean it should be thrown out. I’ve got sour milk in the fridge right now and black, overripe bananas in the freezer. I’m just waiting to find the time to make banana nut bread. Yum.

7ABD487E-5988-44D1-BF7D-8E1AF7826CD8.jpeg

20107C88-ED9F-4268-AE8C-C7E524C5F109.jpeg

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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21704

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12 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

She’s right. Especially with cheese, mold isn’t something to be afraid of. They use mold in the cheese making process.

Also, your milk doesn’t have an expiration date. It doesn’t even have a best by date. It has a “sell by” date. (I’ve never seen it any other way.) It doesn’t turn sour the day after it’s sold. It will still be good for a week-ish after the sell by date. And when it will turn sour can vary depending on temperature and other factors so no one can tell you when it’s going to turn sour. You have to use the smell test. And just because it’s turned sour doesn’t mean it should be thrown out. I’ve got sour milk in the fridge right now and black, overripe bananas in the freezer. I’m just waiting to find the time to make banana nut bread. Yum.

7ABD487E-5988-44D1-BF7D-8E1AF7826CD8.jpeg

20107C88-ED9F-4268-AE8C-C7E524C5F109.jpeg

You're quite disgusting, but your banana bread in a can is intriguing to me.  Just make the batter and pour what, 2/3 full?  I like it.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28703

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8 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

You're quite disgusting, but your banana bread in a can is intriguing to me.  Just make the batter and pour what, 2/3 full?  I like it.

Yep, 2/3 full in a 16 oz buttered can. I put a disc of foil, also buttered, at the bottom of the can to make the loaves easier to remove. That’s how my mom always did it. Her mom too. Great for freezing and sharing with the neighbors.

You want to use overripe bananas when baking. As they ripen, the starches turn into sugars so overripe bananas are sweeter. And sour milk is great for baking. I also use it in sugar cookies. It’s a substitute for buttermilk if a recipe calls for that. If you don’t have sour milk then you can sour fresh milk by adding a bit of lemon juice or vinegar and letting it sit for an hour.

Nothing disgusting about it. 

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8787

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46 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

She’s right. Especially with cheese, mold isn’t something to be afraid of. They use mold in the cheese making process.

Also, your milk doesn’t have an expiration date. It doesn’t even have a best by date. It has a “sell by” date. (I’ve never seen it any other way.) It doesn’t turn sour the day after it’s sold. It will still be good for a week-ish after the sell by date. And when it will turn sour can vary depending on temperature and other factors so no one can tell you when it’s going to turn sour. You have to use the smell test. And just because it’s turned sour doesn’t mean it should be thrown out. I’ve got sour milk in the fridge right now and black, overripe bananas in the freezer. I’m just waiting to find the time to make banana nut bread. Yum.

7ABD487E-5988-44D1-BF7D-8E1AF7826CD8.jpeg

20107C88-ED9F-4268-AE8C-C7E524C5F109.jpeg

 

32 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

You're quite disgusting, but your banana bread in a can is intriguing to me.  Just make the batter and pour what, 2/3 full?  I like it.

Have not seen anyone make it in a can since my mom used coffee cans. That post brought back some great memories.  Thanks 

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4445

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Watching the Rangers/Blue Jays game the other night. Apparently it was Hiot Dog night. and they keep a counter on one of the scoreboards. She glanced up said:

"Wow 41,000 dogs! That's alot. Can you imagine the smell. And who cleans up after them?"

Me : "Excuse me. But what the fuck are you talking about?"

Her : "They have 41,000 dogs at the stadium right now......oh... hot dogs.........."

Me "You know if there were 41,000 dogs at the stadium, there would probably be at least one in the picture right?

Her "This is going on your stupid football wives thing isn't it?"

Edited by Jameslaw121
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msucolt45

msucolt45 3988

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Mine likes to go shopping, while I’m watching football, after telling her to keep it tight/low, as she’d almost used up her allotment of discretionary spending for the month. Of course I go out to help unload the car, so I opine what’s with all the bags? She says they had a sale on bathroom stuff and I only bought stuff to change the “guest” bathroom.

This is when I do the TLJ face, like it’s been almost six months since we’ve had overnight family/guests. Her response is, well it’ll look nice!

Hook’em!!!

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Superhero

Superhero 8762

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Posted
30 minutes ago, GoPokes83 said:


Can you line dance, or are expected to learn or is this a get the girls together and go out dealio?

I actually like dancing... We took some classes before the wedding. I like to boogie at weddings and may have gone low low low low low low low low at the last company party. We used to have dance parties with the kids on Sunday mornings. 

But line dancing? I draw the line.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18690

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2 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Watching the Rangers/Blue Jays game the other night. Apparently it was Hiot Dog night. and they keep a counter on one of the scoreboards. She glanced up said:

"Wow 41,000 dogs! That's alot. Can you imagine the smell. And who cleans up after them?"

Me : "Excuse me. But what the fuck are you talking about?"

Her : "They have 41,000 dogs at the stadium right now......oh... hot dogs.........."

Me "You know if there were 41,000 dogs at the stadium, there would probably be at least on in the picture right?

Her "This is going on your stupid football wives thing isn't it?"

Sounds like another hottie

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