Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[harpercollins 394]

They would have said tree guy so…

Lol touché

[TDunk 590]

8 hours ago, harpercollins said:

Totally. What you’re describing is a conversation between two people genuinely interested in what each other has to say.

What I’m talking about is the opposite. “Say the last part first so I don’t have to engage more than I feel like.”

Not to be an ass, but fewer words is more productive. Women deal with emotional relationships which adds unnecessary parts of a story that we aren't accustomed to. Guys want a comic strip type of conversation. Beginning, middle, and end. 

[Brisketexan 107005]

1 minute ago, TDunk said:

Not to be an ass, but fewer words is more productive. Women deal with emotional relationships which adds unnecessary parts of a story that we aren't accustomed to. Guys want a comic strip type of conversation. Beginning, middle, and end. 

Seriously.  Like the fake conversation I posted....why in the blue fuck do I, or anyone, need to hear all about Pam, and her acrylic nails, and the fact that she went to high school near Houston, convey anything to me that I either 1) need to know or 2) will even find interesting?

Here's the original fake conversation:

Quote

Yeah, that’s just what Becky, Michelle’s sister - you remember Michelle, she had that nail salon that was the first place I knew of that wouldn’t do acrylics, which I don’t like because Pam got acrylics once and they looked awful on her hands, but Pam has really delicate hands, it’s why she was good at the flute when she was in high school…I think she went to high school in Katy…or was it Memorial? It was one of those schools near Houston. Wait, I remember, it was Clements! - anyway, that’s just what Becky said.

Here's a reasonable and polite way to say the same thing:

Quote

Yeah, that's just what Becky said.  Becky is an old friend of mine from Junior League, by the way - you met her at our Christmas party last year, tall, red hair.

Information conveyed.  Person identified.  Necessary context provided.

Now, AFTER that, if you want to get into a story about "whenever I think about Becky, it always reminds me of her sister Michelle, [whole acrylic nails and Clements high school story]," cool.

We don't mind long stories about random things.  We really don't.  It just really sucks for us, the listener, when we have no fucking clue what the story is about, and no prospect of understanding what it's about, where it's going, why it is important or interesting, or anything.  It's like walking into the middle of a Korean movie without subtitles.  We just get confused and frustrated.  For fuck's sake, even a basic TV series regularly starts each new episode with a "previously, on 'CSI: Pocatello'" summary that gives the viewer the context needed to understand the events of the upcoming episode.  It's just simple courtesy.

[Scheiss Meister 8475]

Lately I can't say a complete sentence without my wife interrupting.  I've just stopped trying to communicate, other than the most basic things.  She don't want to hear, she don't have to hear.

[PvilleStang 3006]

10 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Seriously.  Like the fake conversation I posted....why in the blue fuck do I, or anyone, need to hear all about Pam, and her acrylic nails, and the fact that she went to high school near Houston, convey anything to me that I either 1) need to know or 2) will even find interesting?

Here's the original fake conversation:

Here's a reasonable and polite way to say the same thing:

Information conveyed.  Person identified.  Necessary context provided.

Now, AFTER that, if you want to get into a story about "whenever I think about Becky, it always reminds me of her sister Michelle, [whole acrylic nails and Clements high school story]," cool.

We don't mind long stories about random things.  We really don't.  It just really sucks for us, the listener, when we have no fucking clue what the story is about, and no prospect of understanding what it's about, where it's going, why it is important or interesting, or anything.  It's like walking into the middle of a Korean movie without subtitles.  We just get confused and frustrated.  For fuck's sake, even a basic TV series regularly starts each new episode with a "previously, on 'CSI: Pocatello'" summary that gives the viewer the context needed to understand the events of the upcoming episode.  It's just simple courtesy.

This post is WAY too long, like listening to a wife describe something.  TLDR.

[TDunk 590]

11 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

This post is WAY too long, like listening to a wife describe something.  TLDR.

Tolkien post vs reader's digest. 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2780]

12 hours ago, CHIEF said:

Our subdivision had our Memorial Day street dance tonight. A couple left their three year old at the pool unsupervised because he had a red wristband that means he can swim. He almost drown. Ambulance called, he is at the local hospital. They are absolute idoits. Friend was livid, words were exchanged in the 19th Hole. 

Told Mrs. CHIEF about it. About 45 minutes later, she says “I would have done the same thing,” no context, no reference, just a statement. I had no idea what we were even talking about. Please lay out the scenerio. 
 

I just looked at her and said, “you know what they say?” Then I walked away. 
 

CHIEF

Your friend that was the parent of the 3 year old was livid?  

[Jerry Callo 8968]

12 hours ago, harpercollins said:

 

 

This is what I mean. In 25 minutes of her talking about FRQ and the implications of the new FRQ, you were not able to use any contextual evidence to determine that FRQ is a type of assessment? I feel like you just decided not to care what FRQ means. Especially because if your wife has been an AP teacher for any length of time you would already know that FRQ means free response question.

 

 

Can @Modessit give his wife your phone number?

[CHIEF 5228]

28 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Your friend that was the parent of the 3 year old was livid?  

No another friend got into it with the idoit dad that left the 3 year old. There were probably 75 kids at the pool, there were two lifeguards on duty, so the stupid fucker figured it would be ok to leave his son. The friend told the dad that she was calling CPS. It was a huge ordeal. So bad, that the guy will probably need to sell his house and move away. Being a realtor, I gave him my card.

CHIEF 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2780]

No another friend got into it with the idoit dad that left the 3 year old. There were probably 75 kids at the pool, there were two lifeguards on duty, so the stupid fucker figured it would be ok to leave his son. The friend told the dad that she was calling CPS. It was a huge ordeal. So bad, that the guy will probably need to sell his house and move away. Being a realtor, I gave him my card.
CHIEF 

Dannnng. You’re over in Pecan or DeCordova right?

[Tex Long 4667]

28 minutes ago, CHIEF said:

... So bad, that the guy will probably need to sell his house and move away. Being a realtor, I gave him my card. 

A friend in need. Kudos.

[tbone_ 14461]

Lately I can't say a complete sentence without my wife interrupting.  I've just stopped trying to communicate, other than the most basic things.  She don't want to hear, she don't have to hear.

My ex used to do this. Interrupt abruptly and just change the subject to whatever. Then she would get all kinds of pissed when she asked me to go back to the original topic and finish and I wouldn’t. Good times.

[CHIEF 5228]

2 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Dannnng. You’re over in Pecan or DeCordova right?

Yep, in Pecan.

CHIEF

[WhatTheBuck 28939]

14 hours ago, harpercollins said:

Obviously. But I’m guessing he just got irritated at the first non-obvious bit of jargon and decided not to care what a FRQ was.

For context, this is the convo that inspired my post:

Me: “the guy said—“
Him: “wait. What guy?”
Me: “I’m about to freaking tell you what guy. The guy said that when he comes to do the trees he’ll need to start with the ones around the downed power lines.”

Could I have said “the tree guy?” Sure.
Would that have been better? Sure.
Would you treat a coworker or buddy that way? Probably not.

Does your husband know about this thread? I’ll bet he has some stories.

[uoftorange 1391]

16 hours ago, harpercollins said:

Would you treat a coworker or buddy that way? Probably not.

I think this is a common misconception of women (in general, of course not all).  Yes, most of us would talk to our male co-worker that way and pretty much all of us would and will talk to our buddy that way.  It's how many men communicate.  Quick, to the point.  If I don't like it I say so, if I don't understand I'll clarify.  Doesn't require any feeling or negative on my part and usually isn't taken that way by my friend either.  

Now if it's a woman I will use my context clues more with a co-worker and probably mess with a female friend about getting to the point quicker.  My wife and I just joke with each other.  She knows she's droning on with info I don't need and if I'm in a hurry I tell her, if not I will joke with her about it.  And vice versa when she wants to hear more info about a story I got to the point on quickly.  

 

[Baboontyme 2888]

We remodeled, including the kitchen. Cool new LG fridge that does regular ice and craft ice. We use the shit out of the ice. Regular ice is almost always empty by the end of the night. Sometimes we have to tap into the craft ice. My wife preps lunches for the kids. She often fills my 5th grade daughter's Stanley (yes, stupid absurd ridiculous trend but whatever) with ice and water at night and puts it in the fridge overnight. I take my daughter to school, wife is already gone. The ice is melted, of course. I struggled trying to communicate this to my wife tonight. How do you do so without it being considered a personal insult? I had to send 3 texts b2b2b, each one more wordy and deprecating. She probably will still ask me tomorrow why I'm mad at her. 

[nnm 37995]

2 minutes ago, Baboontyme said:

We remodeled, including the kitchen. Cool new LG fridge that does regular ice and craft ice. We use the shit out of the ice. Regular ice is almost always empty by the end of the night. Sometimes we have to tap into the craft ice. My wife preps lunches for the kids. She often fills my 5th grade daughter's Stanley (yes, stupid absurd ridiculous trend but whatever) with ice and water at night and puts it in the fridge overnight. I take my daughter to school, wife is already gone. The ice is melted, of course. I struggled trying to communicate this to my wife tonight. How do you do so without it being considered a personal insult? I had to send 3 texts b2b2b, each one more wordy and deprecating. She probably will still ask me tomorrow why I'm mad at her. 

What the hell is craft ice?

[Sam Lin 3606]

Who cares, your daughter can drink non-iced water. Stop spoiling her for her eventual Surly husband.

[Baboontyme 2888]

2 minutes ago, nnm said:

What the hell is craft ice?

It makes ice with little beaded patterns. You can't eat the beads or the glue but it looks really cool for the IG. 

[harpercollins 394]

Does your husband know about this thread? I’ll bet he has some stories.

Lulz. Yes. And yes.

[Modessit 5667]

This is what I mean. In 25 minutes of her talking about FRQ and the implications of the new FRQ, you were not able to use any contextual evidence to determine that FRQ is a type of assessment? I feel like you just decided not to care what FRQ means. Especially because if your wife has been an AP teacher for any length of time you would already know that FRQ means free response question.

I made up "FRQ" just to have something. I should have used "XYZ". My wife is a preschool special education teacher.

[Beau Vine 55887]

16 hours ago, Baboontyme said:

It makes ice with little beaded patterns. You can't eat the beads or the glue but it looks really cool for the IG. 

[Sawbonz 28243]

11 hours ago, Modessit said:

On 5/27/2024 at 10:05 PM, harpercollins said:

This is what I mean. In 25 minutes of her talking about FRQ and the implications of the new FRQ, you were not able to use any contextual evidence to determine that FRQ is a type of assessment? I feel like you just decided not to care what FRQ means. Especially because if your wife has been an AP teacher for any length of time you would already know that FRQ means free response question.

I made up "FRQ" just to have something. I should have used "XYZ". My wife is a preschool special education teacher.

Well if your wife is giving her preschoolers tests w an FRQ section I think I see the problem 

[wd40 1976]

 

[ztejas 44280]

19 hours ago, Baboontyme said:

She often fills my 5th grade daughter's Stanley (yes, stupid absurd ridiculous trend but whatever) with ice and water at night and puts it in the fridge overnight. I take my daughter to school, wife is already gone. The ice is melted, of course. I struggled trying to communicate this to my wife tonight. How do you do so without it being considered a personal insult? I had to send 3 texts b2b2b, each one more wordy and deprecating. She probably will still ask me tomorrow why I'm mad at her. 

I'm confused. The ice in the Stanley melts overnight? In the fridge? 

I thought they were like insulated, yeti cups. It takes forever for ice to melt in my yeti with the lid off at room temp. 

[nnm 37995]

 

[CHIEF 5228]

Not a stupid thing on her part, but she told me that everything that was on the front porch needed to be moved. So I just picked them up and moved them onto the back porch while she is away.

CHIEF

[SHOOTER12 8890]

On 5/28/2024 at 11:17 AM, CHIEF said:

No another friend got into it with the idoit dad that left the 3 year old. There were probably 75 kids at the pool, there were two lifeguards on duty, so the stupid fucker figured it would be ok to leave his son. The friend told the dad that she was calling CPS. It was a huge ordeal. So bad, that the guy will probably need to sell his house and move away. Being a realtor, I gave him my card.

CHIEF 

So...there was no alcohol involved with that fleet of geniuses???

[PvilleStang 3006]

8 hours ago, CHIEF said:

Not a stupid thing on her part, but she told me that everything that was on the front porch needed to be moved. So I just picked them up and moved them onto the back porch while she is away.

CHIEF

You should have moved everything 1 foot to the right and called it done.

[CHIEF 5228]

30 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

You should have moved everything 1 foot to the right and called it done.

It’s shit that we and others have constant need of right now. Generators, chainsaw, leaf blower, and an ice chest. I got tired of running back and forth, to my shop to pick them up. 
 

CHIEF

[Beau Vine 55887]

10 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

You should have moved everything 1 foot to the right and called it done.

[Buzzrock 15140]

Wife’s car has CarPlay. She doesn’t use it. Refuses to use, it actually. You know what she uses?



Even for phone calls. She just puts it on speaker and yells at it.

“CarPlay is too complicated.”

[Superhero 9035]

When we got married, we agreed that we'd tithe 10% of her gross paycheck, 10% of my net paycheck.

I don't write the check / do the zelle because I'm a miser and it pains me every month. But doing quick math at the dinner table, turns out she's been tithing about 20% more than we agreed upon.

 

Bachelors and Masters in Statistics, i.e. math major, and can't figure out basic math.

[Sam Lin 3606]

Don't worry, God appreciates the extra support.

[Frank Drebin 5840]

16 hours ago, Superhero said:

When we got married, we agreed that we'd tithe 10% of her gross paycheck, 10% of my net paycheck.

I don't write the check / do the zelle because I'm a miser and it pains me every month. But doing quick math at the dinner table, turns out she's been tithing about 20% more than we agreed upon.

 

Bachelors and Masters in Statistics, i.e. math major, and can't figure out basic math.

For how long?

[Superhero 9035]

8 hours ago, Frank Drebin said:

For how long?

Years

[Gil Bang 26249]

47 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Years

Were your tax deductions correct?  If not, you might want to call your tax guy.

[Superhero 9035]

Just now, Gil Bang said:

Were your tax deductions correct?  If not, you might want to call your tax guy.

Our tax deductions are right. Just miffed that her math is so bad that we’ve probably given about $30-40K more than we agreed upon over the past years. 

[Gil Bang 26249]

well, if you believe in your church enough to pony up that kind of cash, what difference does it make?  7% or 14%.  It's all arbitrary.   

Maybe cut back to 5% until it's balanced out? 

WTF do I know?  I don't belong to a church.  I spend my Sundays drinking mimosas.

 

[tbone_ 14461]

Mimosas huh?

Nttiawwt.

[deter 318]

On 6/2/2024 at 10:32 PM, Sam Lin said:

Don't worry, God appreciates the extra support.

Actually the preacher does. 

[Jimbaround 987]

Our tax deductions are right. Just miffed that her math is so bad that we’ve probably given about $30-40K more than we agreed upon over the past years. 

Did you ever wonder why you always got such prime seating at the church picnic?

[Frank Drebin 5840]

11 hours ago, Superhero said:

Our tax deductions are right. Just miffed that her math is so bad that we’ve probably given about $30-40K more than we agreed upon over the past years. 

Sounds like you prepaid.

[texashorne 1194]

I got scalded by the wife for using the term "bush league" in front of the kids. I asked her why, and she said the term's origin comes from a reference to the female anatomy. 

 

[Armybrat 41434]

9 minutes ago, texashorne said:

I got scalded by the wife for using the term "bush league" in front of the kids. I asked her why, and she said the term's origin comes from a reference to the female anatomy. 

 

Pics of wife’s bush?

[ABSR 5372]

11 minutes ago, texashorne said:

I got scalded by the wife for using the term "bush league" in front of the kids. I asked her why, and she said the term's origin comes from a reference to the female anatomy. 

 

Tell me your wife does a poor job of grooming without telling me your wife does a poor job of grooming.

[Nivek 17424]

On 5/28/2024 at 9:32 AM, Scheiss Meister said:

Lately I can't say a complete sentence without my wife interrupting.  I've just stopped trying to communicate, other than the most basic things.  She don't want to hear, she don't have to hear.

Yeah this one hits close to home.  My wife's version of a dialog is a combination of people interrupting one another now.  I am not sure when or why this changed.  

[Knoxtnhorn 6311]

1 hour ago, texashorne said:

I got scalded by the wife for using the term "bush league" in front of the kids. I asked her why, and she said the term's origin comes from a reference to the female anatomy. 

 

LOL.  

 

[DigglerontheHoof 21563]

1 hour ago, texashorne said:

I got scalded by the wife for using the term "bush league" in front of the kids. I asked her why, and she said the term's origin comes from a reference to the female anatomy. 

 

https://www.mlb.com/glossary/idioms/bush-league

Bush League

Definition

"Bush league" describes something that is below professional standards.

Origin

With "bush" being a synonym for a rural area, non-Major League clubs in small towns were referred to as bush league teams in the early days of baseball. The term has come to be used often outside of baseball.

[davidg 4058]

51 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

https://www.mlb.com/glossary/idioms/bush-league

Bush League

Definition

"Bush league" describes something that is below professional standards.

Origin

With "bush" being a synonym for a rural area, non-Major League clubs in small towns were referred to as bush league teams in the early days of baseball. The term has come to be used often outside of baseball.