Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted
On 3/17/2025 at 8:10 PM, Frank Drebin said:

We go to our house in mountains every summer after kids return from camp.  We drive because we are gone for months and take our dog.  It is a full two day drive of 2,000 miles.  Denver is the halfway point and we spend the night there.  We leave at 5 am every time.  Have for years.  I do all the driving.  Without fail, my wife will be up packing at 2 or 3 am every time.  She stays at home.  Does not work any more.  I do all the driving.  She does not understand why I start off the trip befuddled by her packing bullshit and getting onto her about messing up my sleep. 

It is not that complicated.  We are going to Montana.  Clothing for that is so simple.  But she starts packing weeks in advance like she's planning the invasion of Normandy and still does not have shit ready the night before so I can load the truck in advance.

Same shit when we go on any vacation.

Today this hit home today like a predator drone. 

Plan: stay in hotel near airport tonight. take 6am flight tomorrow morning. meeting my family whose already established at the vacation house. short weekend trip, sunny destination (ie minimal packing required).

because i already do 95% of vacation planning and booking, and we’re flying from *her* family’s place, she agreed to take care of the hotel for tonight. 

this whole week, i “gently” remind her we need a hotel. “okay yeah ill look at it”. this whole week, she continues to work from home on-and-off into the evening. (its mostly voluntary, because she wants to show off). 
 

tonight, 13 hours from departure, she  runs over exasperated.  “i havent packed anything. i dont know if we can bring kiddos medicines [uh yes we can]. i didnt buy ziplock bags or portable containers for my liquids [uh, we can buy another $3 bottle of shampoo at destination, if its not already at the airbnb]. i havent even thought of what to pack. 
 

…and…uh…did you book that hotel yet?”


i tried not to answer.

 

  • Haha 1
  • Rage+1 1
Posted
21 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

That’s why I do ALL travel planning and bookings.

100%.  My wife repays me by giving me a couple hours reprieve to take a quick nap when driving long trips.  And while on any trip - whether we drive or fly - she agrees to not question any plans or restaurant reservations I make. 

Posted

My wife loves to drive and has a very accurate sense of direction.

This is counterbalanced by an intuitive talent for hitting every single pothole on the road.

I’ll see one coming from several hundred yards in advance and immediately begin evasive maneuvers.

But for her, it’s like a moth to a flame.

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1
Posted
14 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

And parking lots turn her brain into mush

When my wife has to park, it's like she's trapped in a maze and she'll die if she chooses wrong. "I'm going to park here-wait, that car is too close. I'll go here-no, there's a closer spot. Wait, maybe I'll pull through-no that truck is too big". Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk.

  • Like 1
Posted

In Taiwan visiting family and giving my wife instructions on how from her mom’s house to my parent’s place. I break out the subway map and start explaining:

”Okay, take the brown subway line south (look at the destination station to know you’re going in the right direction). At this station, get off and transfer to the red line, go north until you get this station. Once you leave the station, cross the street and make a right. My parents condo is right there  

”Wait, I’m confused, why do I have to take it this direction?”

”Never mind. Hey M (my daughter), come over here and let me me show you.”

 

My daughter, who always had a good sense of direction, understood right away.

 

  • Like 1
Posted
10 hours ago, Sandman said:

When my wife has to park, it's like she's trapped in a maze and she'll die if she chooses wrong. "I'm going to park here-wait, that car is too close. I'll go here-no, there's a closer spot. Wait, maybe I'll pull through-no that truck is too big". Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk.

My wife will choose the tightest fucking spot available while a whole row of empty spots are 10 feet away. Then she'll look all smug at how she snuck in there - meanwhile I have to suck my gut in to squeeze out the door. 

Posted
9 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

My wife will choose the tightest fucking spot available while a whole row of empty spots are 10 feet away. Then she'll look all smug at how she snuck in there - meanwhile I have to suck my gut in to squeeze out the door. 

My takeaway: you let your wife drive

Wtf?

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
18 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

My wife will choose the tightest fucking spot available while a whole row of empty spots are 10 feet away. Then she'll look all smug at how she snuck in there - meanwhile I have to suck my gut in to squeeze out the door. 

You can reciprocate by choosing the tightest fucking spot available in other circumstances. 

image.gif.3686d6cee24cde67146a94e85ab9c47a.gif

(there are 'suck my gut in' and 'squeeze out' jokes there as well, but I'll let others chime in if they wish)

 

Edited by NWBuck
  • Haha 2
Posted
On 3/21/2025 at 11:27 PM, Superhero said:

In Taiwan visiting family and giving my wife instructions on how from her mom’s house to my parent’s place. I break out the subway map and start explaining:

”Okay, take the brown subway line south (look at the destination station to know you’re going in the right direction). At this station, get off and transfer to the red line, go north until you get this station. Once you leave the station, cross the street and make a right. My parents condo is right there  

”Wait, I’m confused, why do I have to take it this direction?”

”Never mind. Hey M (my daughter), come over here and let me me show you.”

 

My daughter, who always had a good sense of direction, understood right away.

 

Geeze,Taipei has a subway system? 
When I was there living in the rural suburb of Tianmu we drove by car into town to the American Compound. From there to get around downtown we rode in pedicabs, as there weren’t any taxis yet.

  • Like 1
Posted
Just now, Armybrat said:

Geeze,Taipei has a subway system? 
When I was there living in the rural suburb of Tianmu we drove by car into town to the American Compound. From there to get around downtown we rode in pedicabs, as there weren’t any taxis yet.

Post WWII?

Posted
On 3/22/2025 at 8:40 AM, TrashMaster G said:

My takeaway: you let your wife drive

Wtf?


Maybe they were waisted and then their wives didn’t let them hear the end of it for months after and glared at them / asked them ‘how many beers is that?’ the subsequent 11 time they visited their friend’s house while also making it a point that her mother never drove with her dad in the car while she grew even though in all the years of being together or marriage they’ve never let her drive while they were in the car outside of a lengthy road trip but that was like for an hour or so to get just enough of a nap to make the remaining 8 hrs of a 16 hr drive.

Posted
3 minutes ago, ztejas said:

It's very much Vietnam. Maybe look closer at what the soldiers are packing. 

Ah. You’re right. I was thinking of the Korean monument in DC, which is comprised of soldiers wading through foliage. But those guys are in ponchos and the foliage is flat.

That must be a Vietnam memorial with which I am unfamiliar. 

Posted
21 minutes ago, nnm said:

Ah. You’re right. I was thinking of the Korean monument in DC, which is comprised of soldiers wading through foliage. But those guys are in ponchos and the foliage is flat.

That must be a Vietnam memorial with which I am unfamiliar. 

I think it's one that's IN Vietnam. I just Googled Vietnam statue and picked the image that I thought would best get the joke across. 

We have of course completely killed the joke at this point but cest la vie. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

Wife parking is no joke.  I always park next to a curb if ever possible.  Even my kids say it (your half as likely to get door dinged if you park next to a curb!).  She drives, it's time to nose that bitch in and park between two shitty ass late models who've never seen a car wash.  Granted, in our area, the worst cars to park next to are Lexus' and large SUVs driven by Lululemon clad housewives, she still finds a way to come home with a new though-the-paint door ding monthly.  

Edited by PvilleStang
Posted
17 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Wife parking is no joke.  I always park next to a curb if ever possible.  Even my kids say it (your half as likely to get door dinged if you park next to a curb!).  She drives, it's time to nose that bitch in and park between two shitty ass late models who've never seen a car wash.  Granted, in our area, the worst cars to park next to are Lexus' and large SUVs driven by Lululemon clad housewives, she still finds a way to come home with a new though-the-paint door ding monthly.  

*you're 

Posted
21 hours ago, ztejas said:

Whole Foods Arbor Walk - top tier.

Target at Lamar/Ben White for the aspiring housewives.

Wtf, that's probably the worst Target in Central Texas. If someone doesn't steal your car from the parking lot, the homeless will mob you for crack money.

  • Like 1
Posted
21 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Back in the day when yoga pants were first becoming a thing it was Bee Caves HEB. 

I still call that location Yoga Pants HEB

Posted (edited)
22 hours ago, ztejas said:

Wtf is a Kroger? Is that some aggy/coog high thing?

I've only seen them in Indiana, Ohio, and West Virginia, so do what you will with that information.

Edited by Al_4_ISU
Posted
19 minutes ago, rage-a-holic said:

They are all over Texas, ztejas doesn't get out much

There's only 9 in Dallas though

Here in Denver, we have mountain Kroger (King Sooper's) 

  • Like 1
Posted
25 minutes ago, rage-a-holic said:

They are all over Texas, ztejas doesn't get out much

I know what Kroger is lol. I've lived in Dallas.

And they aren't really "all over Texas". Just in Houston and Dallas and the respective suburbs/exurbs. 

I always thought it was a decent grocery store. Not HEB but better than Randall's/Tom Thumb.

Posted
8 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I know what Kroger is lol. I've lived in Dallas.

And they aren't really "all over Texas". Just in Houston and Dallas and the respective suburbs/exurbs. 

I always thought it was a decent grocery store. Not HEB but better than Randall's/Tom Thumb.

image.thumb.png.c3fb9b3e41438d88cb11c22a6f19394e.png

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...