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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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Best served cold

Best served cold 150

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The Mrs. is going out of the country for work for a couple of weeks. We have a plan in place in which I'll get home around 5:15, after working my 12 hour shift, and we can leave the house by 6 for the drive to Houston to stay in a hotel so she can fly out in the morning. 

I get home, shit, shower, shave and get dressed and am standing at the door at 6:00pm. I also took out the upstairs trash, fed her cats, gave the dog food and fresh water and loaded the car.

Her? She left work 3 hours early to pack and we leave 40 minutes late.

Not a big deal. Whatever. 

Stop for a quick bite and I let her drive while I navigate as I'm starting to get sleepy and we are only 30 minutes from the hotel anyway. We're 4 minutes out when she tells me that I need to close the navigation app and look for her booking app so we call find the hotel as she actually navigated us to the airport, instead of the hotel. Started to get pissed but i don't say a word. Start digging through her app looking for the hotel reservation.

Can't find it. 

She tells me to look in another app. Still no hotel. 

Finally I close her shit out and pull out my phone. Find the hotel address in seconds and gets us back on track after having her bust a u-turn. 

We pull into the parking so she can spend 10 minutes rifling through her bags for her "special" brush. Whatever the fuck that is. Finds brush seems head inside. 

Anyone care to guess what happens when we get to the counter?

You guessed it. No fucking reservation!

Fuck my life.

 

Edit: Oh and she still has yet to check into her flight. Smh

Edited by Best served cold
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HenryJames

HenryJames 65890

Posted
Posted
22 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)

I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

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Reagan1k

Reagan1k 3016

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Best served cold said:

The Mrs. is going out of the country for work for a couple of weeks. We have a plan in place in which I'll get home around 5:15, after working my 12 hour shift, and we can leave the house by 6 for the drive to Houston to stay in a hotel so she can fly out in the morning. 

I get home, shit, shower, shave and get dressed and am standing at the door at 6:00pm. I also took out the upstairs trash, fed her cats, gave the dog food and fresh water and loaded the car.

Her? She left work 3 hours early to pack and we leave 40 minutes late.

Not a big deal. Whatever. 

Stop for a quick bite and I let her drive while I navigate as I'm starting to get sleepy and we are only 30 minutes from the hotel anyway. We're 4 minutes out when she tells me that I need to close the navigation app and look for her booking app so we call find the hotel as she actually navigated us to the airport, instead of the hotel. Started to get pissed but i don't say a word. Start digging through her app looking for the hotel reservation.

Can't find it. 

She tells me to look in another app. Still no hotel. 

Finally I close her shit out and pull out my phone. Find the hotel address in seconds and gets us back on track after having her bust a u-turn. 

We pull into the parking so she can spend 10 minutes rifling through her bags for her "special" brush. Whatever the fuck that is. Finds brush seems head inside. 

Anyone care to guess what happens when we get to the counter?

You guessed it. No fucking reservation!

Fuck my life.

 

Edit: Oh and she still has yet to check into her flight. Smh

Yeah-  If where my head hits the pillow at night is in question......I'm making the reservations.

I may have a kitchen faucet replacement that'll cost me $100k, but I'm always sure of where I have a place to sleep.

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miguelito

miguelito 11219

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Best served cold said:

The Mrs. is going out of the country for work for a couple of weeks. We have a plan in place in which I'll get home around 5:15, after working my 12 hour shift, and we can leave the house by 6 for the drive to Houston to stay in a hotel so she can fly out in the morning. 

I get home, shit, shower, shave and get dressed and am standing at the door at 6:00pm. I also took out the upstairs trash, fed her cats, gave the dog food and fresh water and loaded the car.

Her? She left work 3 hours early to pack and we leave 40 minutes late.

Not a big deal. Whatever. 

Stop for a quick bite and I let her drive while I navigate as I'm starting to get sleepy and we are only 30 minutes from the hotel anyway. We're 4 minutes out when she tells me that I need to close the navigation app and look for her booking app so we call find the hotel as she actually navigated us to the airport, instead of the hotel. Started to get pissed but i don't say a word. Start digging through her app looking for the hotel reservation.

Can't find it. 

She tells me to look in another app. Still no hotel. 

Finally I close her shit out and pull out my phone. Find the hotel address in seconds and gets us back on track after having her bust a u-turn. 

We pull into the parking so she can spend 10 minutes rifling through her bags for her "special" brush. Whatever the fuck that is. Finds brush seems head inside. 

Anyone care to guess what happens when we get to the counter?

You guessed it. No fucking reservation!

Fuck my life.

 

Edit: Oh and she still has yet to check into her flight. Smh

Somewhere there's a hotel that just charged you for not showing up.  It might be in her destination city, or it could be in your hometown, but probably not in Houston.

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17388

Posted
Posted
On 9/6/2018 at 8:36 AM, Reagan1k said:

We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)

I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

[Bill]  Ummm, yeah, we're goona need you to go ahead and give us an update on how this all plays out.

Oh, and if you could go ahead and send us some pics, that'd be great, okay? [/Lumberg]

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You don't know me

You don't know me 1161

Posted
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Many people would say the same thing about mayonnaise. 

But at least it isn't something disgusting trying to be something else that some find disgusting.

 

Yeah, I am extremely bored. Sitting in my vehicle at my 2 oldest boys' high school football game. Raining a lot here in the STL area. 2 minutes left in 1st quarter when they go into weather delay for lightning. 30 minutes pass and they start to come back out. About half the team is out and there is another strike. Everybody back in. At this point I am just waiting for them to call it so I can take them home. Getting surlier and surlier with every passing minute.

 

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EE2B

EE2B 1561

Posted
Posted
Oh you've got a reservation at that hotel alright-3 weeks from now.

I was waiting in the lobby of a hotel one night when a guy comes in to check in. They go round and round and finally get it sorted out. He had wanted to check in on the 8th for 3 nights. He booked it for 80 nights starting on the third of the month. All on his debit card. Dumbass.
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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54003

Posted
Posted

My wife went down to SA yesterday to have lunch with some of relatives from Nebraska who were there for the weekend.

She called me before she came back...

"We're at a BBQ place, do you want me to bring you back anything?"

"Where are you?"

"A place called Bill Miller."

"WHHHAAAAATTTT!?!?!?!?"

"They wanted BBQ.  Do you want me to bring you some ribs or anything?"

<hangs up phone>

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HornOnTheBayou

HornOnTheBayou 8881

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

My wife went down to SA yesterday to have lunch with some of relatives from Nebraska who were there for the weekend.

She called me before she came back...

"We're at a BBQ place, do you want me to bring you back anything?"

"Where are you?"

"A place called Bill Miller."

"WHHHAAAAATTTT!?!?!?!?"

"They wanted BBQ.  Do you want me to bring you some ribs or anything?"

<hangs up phone>

Hangs up phone and immediately calls a divorce attorney, I hope.

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17388

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

My wife went down to SA yesterday to have lunch with some of relatives from Nebraska who were there for the weekend.

She called me before she came back...

"We're at a BBQ place, do you want me to bring you back anything?"

"Where are you?"

"A place called Bill Miller."

"WHHHAAAAATTTT!?!?!?!?"

"They wanted BBQ.  Do you want me to bring you some ribs or anything?"

<hangs up phone>

If they wanted Mexican food, she would have taken them to Taco Bell, right?

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