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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28710

Posted
Posted
19 minutes ago, Llogg said:

Which is obviously why restaurants just soak their shit at the end of the night and come back to wash in the morning. Health Dept thanks that's smart. You do you, buddy, but I'm familiar enough with microbiology to know soaking a vat of rice and then washing it is riskier than just washing it straight away. I'm glad you assume your washing technique is 100% effective, but it's just not.

Holy shit, dude. You obviously misunderstood my post. Nice neg assault. 10 so far. You put Shmitty to shame. 

You're complaining about the dangers of your wife soaking the rice cooker. Like it's imminent death. I wasn't wishing death on you. I was just pointing out that you're still alive. From your hysterics, one might have expected otherwise. 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Holy shit, dude. You obviously misunderstood my post. Nice neg assault. 10 so far. You put Shmitty to shame. 

You're complaining about the dangers of your wife soaking the rice cooker. Like it's imminent death. I wasn't wishing death on you. I was just pointing out that you're still alive. From your hysterics, one might have expected otherwise. 

Maybe he's a ghost. 

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Wiler77

Wiler77 1558

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Llogg said:

I'm familiar enough with microbiology to know soaking a vat of rice and then washing it is riskier than just washing it straight away.

Serious question...where is the risk introduced?  Are you assuming the water it's soaking in is already ripe with bacteria?

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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3868

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 10/13/2018 at 10:29 AM, Llogg said:

Rice cooker is going to kill us all. 100% of the time she uses it she leaves it in the sink overnight to soak instead of cleaning it immediately. Fucking Staphylococcus culture is all that is.

Staph needs a protein rich environment. Bacillis cereus is what grows in cooked rice.  You are correct that bacillus cereus leaves toxic spores that cooking doesn't kill. Chances of any of the toxins sticking to a metal pan after proper washing with a biosurfactant(soap) is very slim.

 

 

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP
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Trey3216

Trey3216 15325

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

You get it seasoned enough and you can fry an egg with out  any butter or oil. Also, you can put one on a grill (like a BGE) and heat to to about 700 degrees to sear a steak on. Can make a damn good steak that way

We got one of the cast iron griddles that are stove top style for a wedding gift. Reverse searing a TommyHawk on that bitch is the jam 

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Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19149

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Llogg said:

Which is obviously why restaurants just soak their shit at the end of the night and come back to wash in the morning. Health Dept thanks that's smart. You do you, buddy, but I'm familiar enough with microbiology to know soaking a vat of rice and then washing it is riskier than just washing it straight away. I'm glad you assume your washing technique is 100% effective, but it's just not.

I usually take the rice out before I wash my cooker.  I sometimes soak soapy water in the cooker after emptying it and sometimes wash it right away, depends on if I get hung up doing something else.  Never had a problem in 20+ years of using a rice cooker.

Maybe your innards are of the delicate nature but us real men can take it.

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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3868

Posted
Posted (edited)
59 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

I usually take the rice out before I wash my cooker.  I sometimes soak soapy water in the cooker after emptying it and sometimes wash it right away, depends on if I get hung up doing something else.  Never had a problem in 20+ years of using a rice cooker.

Maybe your innards are of the delicate nature but us real men can take it.

But Llogg's wife is breeding super bacteria whose toxins that are immune to being washed away.

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP
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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11809

Posted
Posted (edited)

Mother in law is up visiting for the weekend. She parked behind my truck.   Wife decides she and her mom will go visit my daughter after lunch and go shopping, my driving age son and I will hang out here and watch football.  Instead of taking her moms car, she takes ours out of the garage, along with her moms keys, leaving my boy and I here with two vehicles we can’t use.

i didn’t need to go anywhere but it’s the principle of the thing.  

Edited by Judge Roybeanbag
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Trey3216

Trey3216 15325

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Mother in law is up visiting for the weekend. She parked behind my truck.   Wife decides she and her mom will go visit my daughter after lunch and go shopping, my driving age son and I will hang out here and watch football.  Instead of taking her moms car, she takes ours out of the garage, along with her moms keys, leaving my boy and I here with two vehicles we can’t use.

i didn’t need to go anywhere but it’s the principle of the thing.  

That almost calls for torching your house, which will catch your car on fire, just to prove a point 

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 104596

Posted
Posted

Wife bought a backup power bank for her iPhone. It’s a pretty, slim, pink metallic power bank. It has a built-in connector. She tried to connect it to her phone, and was bitching about how it wouldn’t work.

Because it’s an Android power bank. She bitches “I have the WORST LUCK with technology!” Umm, no, you have the worst skill in reading an Amazon product description.

By they way, I just nodded along sympathetically and gave her my power bank.

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luke duke

luke duke 6386

Posted
Posted
48 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Wife bought a backup power bank for her iPhone. It’s a pretty, slim, pink metallic power bank. It has a built-in connector. She tried to connect it to her phone, and was bitching about how it wouldn’t work.

Because it’s an Android power bank. She bitches “I have the WORST LUCK with technology!” Umm, no, you have the worst skill in reading an Amazon product description.

By they way, I just nodded along sympathetically and gave her my power bank.

Do you realize that its possible to plug any USB cord into the power bank?

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11564

Posted
Posted

New house.  Wife is in full nest mode.  She has reorganized the kitchen drawers 4 or 5 times in the last 6 weeks.

I was unloading the dishwasher and asked her where she moved the large bowls to. Her response, “with the other large bowls.”

I set down the bowl and am now at the sportsbar watching football.  I sweatergawd I am never moving again.  Assuming I am not divorced when I get home.  FUCK.

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hullabelew

hullabelew 3698

Posted
Posted
New house.  Wife is in full nest mode.  She has reorganized the kitchen drawers 4 or 5 times in the last 6 weeks.
I was unloading the dishwasher and asked her where she moved the large bowls to. Her response, “with the other large bowls.”
I set down the bowl and am now at the sportsbar watching football.  I sweatergawd I am never moving again.  Assuming I am not divorced when I get home.  FUCK.
And we are back on track. Pos rep my man.
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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8799

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Incredulity said:

New house.  Wife is in full nest mode.  She has reorganized the kitchen drawers 4 or 5 times in the last 6 weeks.

I was unloading the dishwasher and asked her where she moved the large bowls to. Her response, “with the other large bowls.”

I set down the bowl and am now at the sportsbar watching football.  I sweatergawd I am never moving again.  Assuming I am not divorced when I get home.  FUCK.

youre bitching about her technically being right?

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davidg

davidg 4028

Posted
Posted
Mother in law is up visiting for the weekend. She parked behind my truck.   Wife decides she and her mom will go visit my daughter after lunch and go shopping, my driving age son and I will hang out here and watch football.  Instead of taking her moms car, she takes ours out of the garage, along with her moms keys, leaving my boy and I here with two vehicles we can’t use.
i didn’t need to go anywhere but it’s the principle of the thing.  



I say this is on you for not training your wife and MIL on where to park when MIL comes to your house. This falls under the heading: Scene Control.
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kevwun

kevwun 15643

Posted
Posted (edited)

Mine just applied for a job that will cut her annual salary almost in half.  She's probably gonna get it.  If I ask her how this fits in to her plan of world travel and early retirement, it will lead to many tears.

Edited by kevwun
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Upgrayedd

Upgrayedd 5805

Posted
Posted

Watching the baseball game last night with the Avatar.  J.D. Martinez comes to the plate with 1st base open.  Gets intentionally walked.

Avatar:  *Crushing Candy Crush

Avatar:  *Looks up  "How did he get on 1st?  What did I miss?"

Me:  12 pitch at-bat.  Fouled a bunch off.  Advanced to 1st on a balk.

A:  *???? "I must be losing it.  I don't remember any of that."

M:  We discussed the whole at-bat while it was in progress.  You don't remember?

A:  *?????

M:  We also discussed me getting a blow job tonight.  Your'e the best baby.  Thanks.

A:  Your'e an asshole.

A:  *Resumes Candy Crush

M:  So, no blow job?

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11564

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Upgrayedd said:

Watching the baseball game last night with the Avatar.  J.D. Martinez comes to the plate with 1st base open.  Gets intentionally walked.

Avatar:  *Crushing Candy Crush

Avatar:  *Looks up  "How did he get on 1st?  What did I miss?"

Me:  12 pitch at-bat.  Fouled a bunch off.  Advanced to 1st on a balk.

A:  *???? "I must be losing it.  I don't remember any of that."

M:  We discussed the whole at-bat while it was in progress.  You don't remember?

A:  *?????

M:  We also discussed me getting a blow job tonight.  Your'e the best baby.  Thanks.

A:  Your'e an asshole.

A:  *Resumes Candy Crush

M:  So, no blow job?

I know that felt good mentally, but you are SOL on blowjobs for a while.

 

 

Oh wait, that's right you're married.  Nevermind.

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miguelito

miguelito 11218

Posted
Posted

So in the big Powerball Lottery thing, my wife has won two dollars.  Now I know you're thinking, "Man, what kind of boat is he going to get?  And how many boats?"

But she actually spent $15 on tickets ... math ... I lost $13.

But SHE won TWO dollars!  That's if she understands how this thing works.  She used to think you had to get the numbers in the right order. 

$2.  Maybe now I can pay off the news delivery kid. 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

Posted
Posted
35 minutes ago, miguelito said:

So in the big Powerball Lottery thing, my wife has won two dollars.  Now I know you're thinking, "Man, what kind of boat is he going to get?  And how many boats?"

But she actually spent $15 on tickets ... math ... I lost $13.

But SHE won TWO dollars!  That's if she understands how this thing works.  She used to think you had to get the numbers in the right order. 

$2.  Maybe now I can pay off the news delivery kid. 

Wait until she tells you how much money she saved buying those BOGO shoes she didn't need.

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

Posted
Posted
34 minutes ago, miguelito said:

So in the big Powerball Lottery thing, my wife has won two dollars.  Now I know you're thinking, "Man, what kind of boat is he going to get?  And how many boats?"

But she actually spent $15 on tickets ... math ... I lost $13.

But SHE won TWO dollars!  That's if she understands how this thing works.  She used to think you had to get the numbers in the right order. 

$2.  Maybe now I can pay off the news delivery kid. 

LIke some kind of Bingo? One on each row sort of thing? I know, that's not what you're saying but I can picture this too.

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CycleTex87

CycleTex87 2953

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, miguelito said:

So in the big Powerball Lottery thing, my wife has won two dollars.  Now I know you're thinking, "Man, what kind of boat is he going to get?  And how many boats?"

But she actually spent $15 on tickets ... math ... I lost $13.

But SHE won TWO dollars!  That's if she understands how this thing works.  She used to think you had to get the numbers in the right order. 

$2.  Maybe now I can pay off the news delivery kid. 

He wants his two dollars, huh?

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Angry Gorilla

Angry Gorilla 1763

Posted
Posted

This one is pretty sad, so apologies in advance.

Our 8 year old golden retriever, Colt, woke up Sat morning completely fine, and by late afternoon was completely blind.  So far we have been to our normal vet, and an eye specialist, and back to the eye specialist tomorrow and MRI next week.  The tests show he is 100% blind, doesn't even react to a flashlight in his eyes.  So far he has been drugged up on our bedroom floor and sleeps most of the day, but we occasionally have to lead him outside to piss/shit.  I have the routine down and am able to steer him out by walking in front of him and snapping my fingers and calling his name and can get him outside to his typical shit spot, let him do his business, and back into his bed in <5 minutes.

I get home from work yesterday and my wife is trying to lead him out to use the bathroom.  For some reason she is behind him with her hand on the base of his tail talking to him like he is a blindfolded human.

"A couple more steps Colt"
"Watch out for that chair on your right Colt"
"Turn to your left Colt"

The whole time she is directly behind him and he is trying to turn around.  I was pissed because the dog is already freaked out and now she is confusing him and screwing up the routine we have made for ourselves and admittedly snapped at her that the dog follows the source of her voice, and doesn't fucking speak English beyond "Colt", "Sit", "Treat".

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8799

Posted
Posted

So in the big Powerball Lottery thing, my wife has won two dollars.  Now I know you're thinking, "Man, what kind of boat is he going to get?  And how many boats?"
But she actually spent $15 on tickets ... math ... I lost $13.
But SHE won TWO dollars!  That's if she understands how this thing works.  She used to think you had to get the numbers in the right order. 
$2.  Maybe now I can pay off the news delivery kid. 
Any room left in your will? Thanks
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Upgrayedd

Upgrayedd 5805

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Incredulity said:

I know that felt good mentally, but you are SOL on blowjobs for a while.

 

 

Oh wait, that's right you're married.  Nevermind.

Well, technically not married.  Been living in sin for 13 years though.

SOL on the BJs is spot on unfortunately 

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4445

Posted
Posted
32 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

This one is pretty sad, so apologies in advance.

Our 8 year old golden retriever, Colt, woke up Sat morning completely fine, and by late afternoon was completely blind.  So far we have been to our normal vet, and an eye specialist, and back to the eye specialist tomorrow and MRI next week.  The tests show he is 100% blind, doesn't even react to a flashlight in his eyes.  So far he has been drugged up on our bedroom floor and sleeps most of the day, but we occasionally have to lead him outside to piss/shit.  I have the routine down and am able to steer him out by walking in front of him and snapping my fingers and calling his name and can get him outside to his typical shit spot, let him do his business, and back into his bed in <5 minutes.

I get home from work yesterday and my wife is trying to lead him out to use the bathroom.  For some reason she is behind him with her hand on the base of his tail talking to him like he is a blindfolded human.

"A couple more steps Colt"
"Watch out for that chair on your right Colt"
"Turn to your left Colt"

The whole time she is directly behind him and he is trying to turn around.  I was pissed because the dog is already freaked out and now she is confusing him and screwing up the routine we have made for ourselves and admittedly snapped at her that the dog follows the source of her voice, and doesn't fucking speak English beyond "Colt", "Sit", "Treat".

Sorry man. That sucks

 

 

But I still laughed....

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8789

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Angry Gorilla said:

This one is pretty sad, so apologies in advance.

Our 8 year old golden retriever, Colt, woke up Sat morning completely fine, and by late afternoon was completely blind.  So far we have been to our normal vet, and an eye specialist, and back to the eye specialist tomorrow and MRI next week.  The tests show he is 100% blind, doesn't even react to a flashlight in his eyes.  So far he has been drugged up on our bedroom floor and sleeps most of the day, but we occasionally have to lead him outside to piss/shit.  I have the routine down and am able to steer him out by walking in front of him and snapping my fingers and calling his name and can get him outside to his typical shit spot, let him do his business, and back into his bed in <5 minutes.

I get home from work yesterday and my wife is trying to lead him out to use the bathroom.  For some reason she is behind him with her hand on the base of his tail talking to him like he is a blindfolded human.

"A couple more steps Colt"
"Watch out for that chair on your right Colt"
"Turn to your left Colt"

The whole time she is directly behind him and he is trying to turn around.  I was pissed because the dog is already freaked out and now she is confusing him and screwing up the routine we have made for ourselves and admittedly snapped at her that the dog follows the source of her voice, and doesn't fucking speak English beyond "Colt", "Sit", "Treat".

I can understand the aggravation, but your post gave me the sadz as it reminded me we just lost our 15 yo golden a year ago next month.  IMO, the best damned breed of dog in the world and not even close.

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