Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 22.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

Beau Vine

Beau Vine 53986

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Modessit said:

Who was it whose wife had the orange cooler full of water because of Harvey and kept it that way for months? I don't know if you're in Austin but if so I'll bet your wife is tone-ing quite a bit right now about dumping it out.

That was me.  In Hays County, so we aren't affected.  But I have noticed that she has resumed filling it up for some reason.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8788

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

I've had four golden retrievers over the last 15 years or so (they were all older rescue's). They are the smartest most lovable dogs in the world. Except the one I have now. Oh he's lovable and all, but he was clearly dropped on his head as a pup.....

Perfect description of a golden.  I've been wanting to get another one since Rocky died, but just can't bring myself to do it yet.  Don't know why, just can't yet.

Our first golden was dropped on it's head also I think.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17386

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

I've had four golden retrievers over the last 15 years or so (they were all older rescue's). They are the smartest most lovable dogs in the world. Except the one I have now. Oh he's lovable and all, but he was clearly dropped on his head as a pup.....

They were all older rescue's what?

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
justhookit

justhookit 4177

Posted
Posted (edited)

Smart? No. Trainable? Yes and easy.

Ive had 3 and my dad has had 3. Best dogs ever. Had to put my last one down about 2 months after Harvey. I’m pretty sure he would have made it another year or so if it wasn’t for the storm. I am gone fishing too much right now to get another one, but I will one day.

Edited by justhookit
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cody2422

Cody2422 264

Posted
Posted

All the talk about Goldens is making me feel guilty about ours right now. Poor thing has been moved 6 times over the course of her life and finally we are in a permanent home. Except now she wants to tear shit up when we aren't home, claw at the floor, get on the couch, claw at doors, etc. add in a 6 month old baby and our patience with the dog is wearing thin, although she is the sweetest, best tempered dog I've ever had. Tried to kennel her last week for a few hours since it is getting cooler outside, she is now sans bed.
5e4045e682480f08dc11684aeedfb840.jpg


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
AM Wood

AM Wood 335

Posted
Posted

looks like anxiety. try taking a kong and stuffing it with awesome treats and seal the opening with a thick plug of peanut butter. put it in the freezer at night, and give it to her in the cage in the morning when you leave. it'll take her a lot of time and effort to lick it and get the goodies on the inside. it's worked for a couple of my dogs over the years.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4445

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, justhookit said:

Smart? No. Trainable? Yes and easy.

Ive had 3 and my dad has had 3. Best dogs ever. Had to put my last one down about 2 months after Harvey. I’m pretty sure he would have made it another year or so if it wasn’t for the storm. I am gone fishing too much right now to get another one, but I will one day.

If it makes you feel better. both our rescues supposedly came from Harvey shelters that shipped the dogs up to Dallas. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cody2422

Cody2422 264

Posted
Posted
looks like anxiety. try taking a kong and stuffing it with awesome treats and seal the opening with a thick plug of peanut butter. put it in the freezer at night, and give it to her in the cage in the morning when you leave. it'll take her a lot of time and effort to lick it and get the goodies on the inside. it's worked for a couple of my dogs over the years.

I think it is anxiety. She is chill as can be when everyone is home and has never acted jealous. Although she will pet her own head with your hand. She sleeps in the room with the baby and I personally think now that he is going to a day care and my oldest is in kindergarten, when she is home alone, she freaks out worrying about them. She just turned 9 this month and was the baby before the babies.

Back on track, my wife put 2 big ass blankets in the washer this weekend and wondered why it couldn't get going in the spin cycle. I had to pull one of them out, and wet, it weighed about 30 lbs.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Js1

Js1 85095

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, AM Wood said:

looks like anxiety. try taking a kong and stuffing it with awesome treats and seal the opening with a thick plug of peanut butter. put it in the freezer at night, and give it to her in the cage in the morning when you leave. it'll take her a lot of time and effort to lick it and get the goodies on the inside. it's worked for a couple of my dogs over the years.

My dog gets past the peanut butter to the inside of the kong with the treats within 30 minutes.

Fucking asshole.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19146

Posted
Posted
On 10/24/2018 at 9:07 PM, Angry Gorilla said:

This one is pretty sad, so apologies in advance.

Our 8 year old golden retriever, Colt, woke up Sat morning completely fine, and by late afternoon was completely blind.  So far we have been to our normal vet, and an eye specialist, and back to the eye specialist tomorrow and MRI next week.  The tests show he is 100% blind, doesn't even react to a flashlight in his eyes.  So far he has been drugged up on our bedroom floor and sleeps most of the day, but we occasionally have to lead him outside to piss/shit.  I have the routine down and am able to steer him out by walking in front of him and snapping my fingers and calling his name and can get him outside to his typical shit spot, let him do his business, and back into his bed in <5 minutes.

I get home from work yesterday and my wife is trying to lead him out to use the bathroom.  For some reason she is behind him with her hand on the base of his tail talking to him like he is a blindfolded human.

"A couple more steps Colt"
"Watch out for that chair on your right Colt"
"Turn to your left Colt"

The whole time she is directly behind him and he is trying to turn around.  I was pissed because the dog is already freaked out and now she is confusing him and screwing up the routine we have made for ourselves and admittedly snapped at her that the dog follows the source of her voice, and doesn't fucking speak English beyond "Colt", "Sit", "Treat".

Your dog has seeing eye people.  That's awesome.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8788

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, Cody2422 said:


I think it is anxiety. She is chill as can be when everyone is home and has never acted jealous. Although she will pet her own head with your hand. She sleeps in the room with the baby and I personally think now that he is going to a day care and my oldest is in kindergarten, when she is home alone, she freaks out worrying about them. She just turned 9 this month and was the baby before the babies.

Back on track, my wife put 2 big ass blankets in the washer this weekend and wondered why it couldn't get going in the spin cycle. I had to pull one of them out, and wet, it weighed about 30 lbs.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I was totally amazed at how protective our golden could be over a child/children.  I'm pretty sure that's part of their DNA.  When your baby gets older she will probably find the best friend she's ever had in your golden.

When our granddaughter "Saylor" was a toddler and was just walking we would take her upstairs to the playroom.  Rocky would go up also and sit at the head of the stairs.  One day the granddaughter started yelling and throwing a fit.  When we went to see what the problem was she was so made she couldn't stand it.  Rocky turned sideways at the top of the stairs and pushed her back against the wall, as she was not allowed on the stairs alone.   He would do the same thing downstairs if she tried to sneak on the stairs from the bottom.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Trey3216

Trey3216 15325

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, SHOOTER12 said:

I was totally amazed at how protective our golden could be over a child/children.  I'm pretty sure that's part of their DNA.  When your baby gets older she will probably find the best friend she's ever had in your golden.

When our granddaughter "Saylor" was a toddler and was just walking we would take her upstairs to the playroom.  Rocky would go up also and sit at the head of the stairs.  One day the granddaughter started yelling and throwing a fit.  When we went to see what the problem was she was so made she couldn't stand it.  Rocky turned sideways at the top of the stairs and pushed her back against the wall, as she was not allowed on the stairs alone.   He would do the same thing downstairs if she tried to sneak on the stairs from the bottom.

So when your granddaughter gets old, someone's gonna say "You ol' Saylor, you" to her, eh? 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
NorthLoop

NorthLoop 14083

Posted
Posted

There's a particular bottle of wine in our cheap-ass collection that I've been eyeing, but I know she has been too. Except she's pregnant so it was an unsaid rule that that bottle would stay for 4 more months. 

 

Well she's been asleep for a couple hours, and I'm out of beer, and Orlando's defense sucks. 

 

I've got 4 months to find this same one again. Spec's might have it. Whatever. I'm drinking tonight. 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
3adays

3adays 454

Posted
Posted

I was grilling steaks and asked the wife to make a few baked potatoes. I go inside 5 minutes later and see 3 potatoes rotating around the microwave in their own individual zip lock bags. I lost my shit both chiding and laughing at the same time. Is this some method I’ve never heard of? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
On 10/25/2018 at 11:48 AM, SHOOTER12 said:

Perfect description of a golden.  I've been wanting to get another one since Rocky died, but just can't bring myself to do it yet.  Don't know why, just can't yet.

Our first golden was dropped on it's head also I think.

It’s a weird first step getting a dog after your buddy has passed.  It hurts at first...a little.   Then it’s therapeutic as hell.

There are still many times when I miss our beagle.  Our two rescue pups, now 3 years old don’t give a shit about all that, though.  Job 1 is being the same kind of awesome companion you would hope any dog would be.  It is truly salve for the soul.

I understand not feeling like you’re ready.  Good luck when you do though!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2306

Posted
Posted (edited)

About a month ago we noticed that our outside a/c compressor was making noise and sounded like it was going bad. I called the repairman, but had somewhere to be that afternoon so Mrs CL was here when the technician actually came. 

I get home that night and Mrs CL says that the A/C guy said it wasn't broken and there was nothing to fix. I didn't ask more questions. 

This weekend I notice that the A/C is working harder than usual and then this morning I notice it's not working at all. I go outside and the fan isn't running at all.

Go inside and call Mrs CL at her office and ask her to clarify the A/C guy's previous visit. 

 

"He said that there wasn't anything for him to do that day but he'll order the part and to call him back when it finally goes out."

"I thought you said he said there was nothing wrong with it?"

"No, he said he'd order the part and wait for us to call him back when it finally quit working."

"So he knew it was broken and didn't fix it? And now that I'm sweating at my desk I'm supposed to call him back and pay him for the job he didn't do when I asked him? I don't have to be sweating right now because I called the repairman in time, but I'm still sweating? Why in the hell would I call the guy a second guy to fix something he should have fixed the first time?"

"He was really nice?"

 

I don't normally fall for "banging the repairman" explanations, but I'm struggling to find an alternate explanation. (The alternate explanation is that she's just as stupid as this sounds like)

I just called a different repair company. 

 

Edited by crimsonlonghorn
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Flg8rfan

Flg8rfan 201

Posted
Posted
About a month ago we noticed that our outside a/c compressor was making noise and sounded like it was going bad. I called the repairman, but had somewhere to be that afternoon so Mrs CL was here when the technician actually came. 
I get home that night and Mrs CL says that the A/C guy said it wasn't broken and there was nothing to fix. I didn't ask more questions. 
This weekend I notice that the A/C is working harder than usual and then this morning I notice it's not working at all. I go outside and the fan isn't running at all.
Go inside and call Mrs CL at her office and ask her to clarify the A/C guy's previous visit. 
 
"He said that there wasn't anything for him to do that day but he'll order the part and to call him back when it finally goes out."
"I thought you said he said there was nothing wrong with it?"
"No, he said he'd order the part and wait for us to call him back when it finally quit working."
"So he knew it was broken and didn't fix it? And now that I'm sweating at my desk I'm supposed to call him back and pay him for the job he didn't do when I asked him? I don't have to be sweating right now because I called the repairman in time, but I'm still sweating? Why in the hell would I call the guy a second guy to fix something he should have fixed the first time?"
"He was really nice?"
 
I don't normally fall for "banging the repairman" explanations, but I'm struggling to find an alternate explanation. (The alternate explanation is that she's just as stupid as this sounds like)
I just called a different repair company. 
 

Could be worse, you could have come home the first visit with a contract on a whole new AC system. There’s a local company here who uses their repair guys as salesmen. They’ll fix it, then tell whomever is there (wife willing to do stupid shit), that it’s on its last legs and needs to be replaced, here’s what we recommend, sign here.

Did not happen to me but I know a couple of my friends got suckered. Yes, their units were older, yes the new ones are saving money, yes, they ended up buying sooner than they needed to


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Link to comment
Share on other sites
After irth

After irth 1243

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

About a month ago we noticed that our outside a/c compressor was making noise and sounded like it was going bad. I called the repairman, but had somewhere to be that afternoon so Mrs CL was here when the technician actually came. 

I get home that night and Mrs CL says that the A/C guy said it wasn't broken and there was nothing to fix. I didn't ask more questions. 

This weekend I notice that the A/C is working harder than usual and then this morning I notice it's not working at all. I go outside and the fan isn't running at all.

Go inside and call Mrs CL at her office and ask her to clarify the A/C guy's previous visit. 

 

"He said that there wasn't anything for him to do that day but he'll order the part and to call him back when it finally goes out."

"I thought you said he said there was nothing wrong with it?"

"No, he said he'd order the part and wait for us to call him back when it finally quit working."

"So he knew it was broken and didn't fix it? And now that I'm sweating at my desk I'm supposed to call him back and pay him for the job he didn't do when I asked him? I don't have to be sweating right now because I called the repairman in time, but I'm still sweating? Why in the hell would I call the guy a second guy to fix something he should have fixed the first time?"

"He was really nice?"

 

I don't normally fall for "banging the repairman" explanations, but I'm struggling to find an alternate explanation. (The alternate explanation is that she's just as stupid as this sounds like)

I just called a different repair company. 

 

Eh...that's KINDA on you...

But...my sincere sympathies.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
After irth

After irth 1243

Posted
Posted (edited)

8 fingers in to some Buffalo Trace. Putting on my favorite wind-down album. She catches me in the kitchen pouring a bowl of cereal. 

“The kittie wanted to make sure you were ok.”

i have no idea how to respond to that, so I say “I have no idea how to respond to that.”  

“It’s ok,” she says, “he can come back with me.”  

At this point, I’ve peeked in the Master. The Cat is in his usual don’t-give-a-fuck spot at the foot. 

“Ok,” I say.  Garfield French continues to play.  Certainly not going to bed until Private Affair is done.  

And.....scene!

 

Edited by After irth
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...