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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

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AM Wood

AM Wood 335

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Truth. Conversation that happens every 2-3 weeks at HOTB Jr's soccer game:

"We need one of those wagons to carry all the stuff we need for the game."
"Why? All we have is three folding chairs and I always carry them."
"I know, but we also have a water bottle and my purse."
"Right. You carry your purse and HOTB III carries the water."
"I just think we need one."
"I'm the one carrying the chairs. I would rather put them across my shoulder than lug a wagon through the gravel in the parking lot, the dirt track around the field, and the grass to get to our spots."
"Still, I think we need one."

Wanna take a guess what was waiting for me when I got back from a work trip to Philadelphia?

There’s no practical reason to want or need a Michael Kors purse or a pair of those fucking ugly hunter boots either, but Gina has them and so will I!

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TrashMaster G

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Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Truth. Conversation that happens every 2-3 weeks at HOTB Jr's soccer game:

"We need one of those wagons to carry all the stuff we need for the game."
"Why? All we have is three folding chairs and I always carry them."
"I know, but we also have a water bottle and my purse."
"Right. You carry your purse and HOTB III carries the water."
"I just think we need one."
"I'm the one carrying the chairs. I would rather put them across my shoulder than lug a wagon through the gravel in the parking lot, the dirt track around the field, and the grass to get to our spots."
"Still, I think we need one."

Wanna take a guess what was waiting for me when I got back from a work trip to Philadelphia?

Perfect example. Love it.

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Horns1

Horns1 41

Posted
Posted
30 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Truth. Conversation that happens every 2-3 weeks at HOTB Jr's soccer game:

"We need one of those wagons to carry all the stuff we need for the game."
"Why? All we have is three folding chairs and I always carry them."
"I know, but we also have a water bottle and my purse."
"Right. You carry your purse and HOTB III carries the water."
"I just think we need one."
"I'm the one carrying the chairs. I would rather put them across my shoulder than lug a wagon through the gravel in the parking lot, the dirt track around the field, and the grass to get to our spots."
"Still, I think we need one."

Wanna take a guess what was waiting for me when I got back from a work trip to Philadelphia?

Guessing it wasn't a beej ?

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BearCountry11

BearCountry11 1234

Posted
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45 minutes ago, AM Wood said:

There’s no practical reason to want or need a Michael Kors purse or a pair of those fucking ugly hunter boots either, but Gina has them and so will I!

The fucking Hunter boots....

Wife INSISTED that she absolutely needed them and couldn't live life to the fullest unless those were on her feet.  Wanna guess how many times she has worn them in 2 years?  About as many as I have. 

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EE2B

EE2B 1569

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Wife is making Christmas bags for gifts for our daughters classmates. She needs to make 20 reindeer bags. The reindeer have red noses and come 3 to a pack. She told me she bought five packs and had plenty. I gave her the tommy Lee jones look and walked off. A few minutes later I heard her yelling when she finally figured out she needs to go back to the store.

 

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After irth

After irth 1246

Posted
Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Truth. Conversation that happens every 2-3 weeks at HOTB Jr's soccer game:

"We need one of those wagons to carry all the stuff we need for the game."
"Why? All we have is three folding chairs and I always carry them."
"I know, but we also have a water bottle and my purse."
"Right. You carry your purse and HOTB III carries the water."
"I just think we need one."
"I'm the one carrying the chairs. I would rather put them across my shoulder than lug a wagon through the gravel in the parking lot, the dirt track around the field, and the grass to get to our spots."
"Still, I think we need one."

Wanna take a guess what was waiting for me when I got back from a work trip to Philadelphia?

Let HER pull the fuckin’ thing if she wanted it so badly. 

Getting stuff that she wants under the guise of providing stuff for you...rage-inducing. 

Edited by After irth
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HenryJames

HenryJames 67368

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, EE2B said:

Wife is making Christmas bags for gifts for our daughters classmates. She needs to make 20 reindeer bags. The reindeer have red noses and come 3 to a pack. She told me she bought five packs and had plenty. I gave her the tommy Lee jones look and walked off. A few minutes later I heard her yelling when she finally figured out she needs to go back to the store.

 

14608107_1180665285312703_1558693314_n.j

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Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19455

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, EE2B said:

Wife is making Christmas bags for gifts for our daughters classmates. She needs to make 20 reindeer bags. The reindeer have red noses and come 3 to a pack. She told me she bought five packs and had plenty. I gave her the tommy Lee jones look and walked off. A few minutes later I heard her yelling when she finally figured out she needs to go back to the store.

 

Easy fix.  Tell the kids that don’t get a Rudolph bag that Santa doesn’t love them.

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JSB

JSB 677

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Posted
The fucking Hunter boots....


Mine actually has worn hers quite a bit this year because of all the rain we’ve had, but absolutely refuses to walk off the pavement in them. The few times they have gotten a little mud on them, she asks me to clean them for her, which is then done with a hose.

We took the kids and met some other friends at a pumpkin patch/tractor ride thing this fall after a heavy rain. I had to convince her that she needed to wear her rain boots because it would be muddy. She cannot comprehend that is their purpose. She did not appreciate me bringing my ULine yellow rain boots
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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 18094

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, EE2B said:

Wife is making Christmas bags for gifts for our daughters classmates. She needs to make 20 reindeer bags. The reindeer have red noses and come 3 to a pack. She told me she bought five packs and had plenty. I gave her the tommy Lee jones look and walked off. A few minutes later I heard her yelling when she finally figured out she needs to go back to the store.

 

I would have popped up a bag of popcorn and then sat in the room with her, munching the popcorn until she figured it out.

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G650

G650 14437

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, JSB said:

 


Mine actually has worn hers quite a bit this year because of all the rain we’ve had, but absolutely refuses to walk off the pavement in them. The few times they have gotten a little mud on them, she asks me to clean them for her, which is then done with a hose.

We took the kids and met some other friends at a pumpkin patch/tractor ride thing this fall after a heavy rain. I had to convince her that she needed to wear her rain boots because it would be muddy. She cannot comprehend that is their purpose. She did not appreciate me bringing my ULine yellow rain boots

 

 

I have to say, my wife actually got her wellies to use for their intended purpose. God bless the rest of y'all.

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JSB

JSB 677

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Posted
9 minutes ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

So, I had to google Hunter boots. Unreal. $100+ for a fucking pair of pig boots? Glad my wife buys her chore boots at Tractor Supply.

I had a hard time with it at first, but they are a fashion shoe that you can clean with a hose. The wife will wear them out to dinner if it happened to rain 3 hours earlier. I would rather her wear those than something more expensive and leather or suede. Yes, I've had to justify it to myself, but you also sound poor

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EE2B

EE2B 1569

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I would have popped up a bag of popcorn and then sat in the room with her, munching the popcorn until she figured it out.

She came in later and said she realized she didn’t have enough eyes. She said she had enough for 12 reindeer. I asked if that was 12 one eyed reindeer or if she bought a pack of 24. She had to go look.
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G650

G650 14437

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, JSB said:

 but they are a fashion shoe that you can clean with a hose.

 

The standard Hunter's are some of the most utilitarian things made. They just cost a lot if you buy them here because suburban women decided they needed them to drive their Tahoe to the mall.

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AM Wood

AM Wood 335

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i just bought my wife her 5th pair for xmas and i don't give a shit. they're cheap and she always gets compliments on hers so it makes her feel good. i spend way more money on toys than that. i always used to laugh at the guys on here complaining about them, but when i put it in perspective it's not a big deal. plus,she would never step in a puddle with them, much less mud. like someone said up there, it's a fashion thing. she doesn't tell me how to play with my toys, i don't tell her how to dress.

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Shoxthemonkey

Shoxthemonkey 1994

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16 minutes ago, JSB said:

I had a hard time with it at first, but they are a fashion shoe that you can clean with a hose. The wife will wear them out to dinner if it happened to rain 3 hours earlier. I would rather her wear those than something more expensive and leather or suede. Yes, I've had to justify it to myself, but you also sound poor

Not poor, just rural and unsophisticated, obviously. Want me to post a paystub?

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Chewbacca

Chewbacca 7830

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19 minutes ago, G650 said:

This isn't even news anymore, but I came in once again to see my wife used an 8" chef's knife to cut my son's grilled cheese in half. It will never not make me shake my head.

Shit like this is why my wife is not allowed to touch my chef's knife.  I have one that is mine and she can do whatever the fuck she wants (like cutting grilled cheese in half) with hers.  She does know better than to put any of them in the dishwasher, at least.

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G650

G650 14437

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Posted

 

1 minute ago, Chewbacca said:

Shit like this is why my wife is not allowed to touch my chef's knife.  I have one that is mine and she can do whatever the fuck she wants (like cutting grilled cheese in half) with hers.  She does know better than to put any of them in the dishwasher, at least.

 

Yeah, same.

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Al_4_ISU

Al_4_ISU 12623

Posted
Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, After irth said:

Let HER pull the fuckin’ thing if she wanted it so badly. 

Getting stuff that she wants under the guise of providing stuff for you...rage-inducing. 

Jesus Christ yes.  My wife has to clean some part of our house every night, regardless of whether or not it needs to be cleaned.  Then she tries to act like she's doing it for me.  No, you're doing it for you.  I do not give a fuck if you've swept the kitchen for the second time in 5 days and I have made this perfectly clear numerous times.

Edited by Al_4_ISU
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G650

G650 14437

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Jesus Christ yes.  My wife has to clean some part of our house every night, regardless of whether or not it needs to be cleaned.  Then she tries to act like she's doing it for me.  No, you're doing it for you.  I do not give a fuck if you've swept the kitchen for the second time in 5 days and I have made this perfectly clear numerous times.

Related: "I'm taking care of all this work because you aren't" Yeah, because it doesn't need doing. If you want to vacuum twice a day knock yourself out, but it's surplus to my requirements and I'm not gonna encourage your neurosis.

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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3873

Posted
Posted (edited)
50 minutes ago, luke duke said:

 


What kind of food is one allowed to cut with a chef’s knife?

 

I'm a retired chef and usually grab my 10" chef knife to cut the kids' sandwiches as it is usually within arm's reach. I must have been sick the day sandwich cutting was covered in culinary academy. Butter knives cutting sandwiches makes me rage.

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP
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G650

G650 14437

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7 minutes ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

I'm a retired chef and usually grab my 10" chef knife to cut the kids' sandwiches as it is usually within arm's reach. I must have been sick the day sandwich cutting was covered in culinary academy. Butter knives cutting sandwiches makes me rage.

It's not the sandwich, it's the substrate, as has been mentioned. 

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 22302

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, G650 said:

This isn't even news anymore, but I came in once again to see my wife used an 8" chef's knife to cut my son's grilled cheese in half. It will never not make me shake my head.

 

2 minutes ago, G650 said:

It's not the sandwich, it's the substrate, as has been mentioned. 

You didn't mention it in your original post.  You only mentioned the knife and the sandwich.

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