Jimbo 2022: Balls To The Face

[fattyflattie 4636]

Just now, Ghost of Stevie Ray said:

I'd take Quinn and Malik over Weigman and Johnson.   

 

Ah. I was talking about recruits. Not transfers. Would be cool if we could count him in our class rank, but 

[Napoleon 8607]

I don’t care about counting QBs in our class rank, I just care about getting the best QBs possible and that is why I will gladly take the following…

6 minutes ago, Ghost of Stevie Ray said:

Quinn and Malik over Weigman and Johnson

 

[RabidM 2664]

8 minutes ago, Ghost of Stevie Ray said:

I wish just one reporter would have asked:

"Hey Jimbo....so you say that the NIL stuff wasn't involved......And I mean, this is a MONSTER class you just recruited......tell us....What was it that really sold these kids on the idea that Texas A&M and College Station, Tx was the place to be? "

If you ask for white noise, you'll get it. 

[RabidM 2664]

If our rich boosters don't want to cheat, can they be convinced to finance the investigation necessary to document the cheating of others?  If we're not going to join them, it would be helpful if we could stop them.  Private investigators don't have to operate with the same rules as law enforcement. 

Edited February 3, 2022 by RabidM

[Bevo 13527]

Just now, RabidM said:

If you ask for white noise, you'll get it. 

The much better question is to ask Jimbo to give details about some of the NIL deals

[Michael Knight 12898]

13 minutes ago, fattyflattie said:

Ah. I was talking about recruits. Not transfers. Would be cool if we could count him in our class rank, but 

why don't you take a step back from the computer and literally fuck your own face.

[texifornia 56526]

6 minutes ago, RabidM said:

If our rich boosters don't want to cheat, can they be convinced to finance the investigation necessary to document the cheating of others?  If we're not going to join them, it would be helpful if we could stop them.  Private investigators don't have to operate with the same rules as law enforcement. 

Fuck cheating, they're not even doing NIL at a particularly game-changing level. Horns with Heart/Clark Field/Burnt Ends is amazing, but none of the big-deal donors have said "fuck it, let's put our dicks on the table and make the rest of the world match us" for the team as a whole.

Edited February 3, 2022 by texifornia

[Tree Fidy 1196]

You would take Malik over Weigman?   Ok. 

Look, you have exposed yourself for what you are at this point. Kindly see yourself out the door and work on filling that jizzjar while staring lovingly into the eyes of the yell leader bobblehead on your bedside table.

[fattyflattie 4636]

15 minutes ago, Michael Knight said:

why don't you take a step back from the computer and literally fuck your own face.

Take a play from your mom and suck my dick for a min. 

[Horn Dog 9674]

22 minutes ago, RabidM said:

If our rich boosters don't want to cheat, can they be convinced to finance the investigation necessary to document the cheating of others?  If we're not going to join them, it would be helpful if we could stop them.  Private investigators don't have to operate with the same rules as law enforcement. 

All we need is a small group of hackers to get into emails, phones, and trace some crypto exchanges and some people to document the purchases of these players uncles over the next few months to blow this whole thing open.  What would that cost?  100k?   Russia…if your listening…..

[MonkeyDoughnut 10145]

1 hour ago, pacman said:

IRS doesn't have the staff to keep itself from getting pantsed on a regular basis. Odd some think they will have anything to do with catching ncaa athletes.

IRS whistleblowers receive 15-30% of collected.... that is plenty enough for a low paid staffer, jilted uncle, trainer, etc to come forward.

[RabidM 2664]

11 minutes ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

IRS whistleblowers receive 15-30% of collected.... that is plenty enough for a low paid staffer, jilted uncle, trainer, etc to come forward.

I had no idea... I bet a whole bunch of people don't know that. 

[JesusSweatDuck 17780]

Hey Jimbo, you keep touting these NIL deals but how did you give a player who has not graduated HS an NIL deal?  Isn't that illegal?  Also, where are the commercials/promotions/charity work that we would expect to see from said "NIL" deals?

- Any journalist with half a sack

[JesusSweatDuck 17780]

13 minutes ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

IRS whistleblowers receive 15-30% of collected.... that is plenty enough for a low paid staffer, jilted uncle, trainer, etc to come forward.

Go ahead and tweet that at a few of the trainers/Uncles

[MuellerHorn 4195]

15 minutes ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

IRS whistleblowers receive 15-30% of collected.... that is plenty enough for a low paid staffer, jilted uncle, trainer, etc to come forward.

 

4 minutes ago, RabidM said:

I had no idea... I bet a whole bunch of people don't know that. 

https://www.irs.gov/about-irs/whistleblower-office-at-a-glance

Needs to be more than 2MM or 200k for an individual. 

Man, if only we all knew some forensic accountants...

Edited February 3, 2022 by MuellerHorn

[dcar00 14035]

4 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

 

this will be Jimbo's Rafael Palmiero moment.

[Vertigo 20267]

1 hour ago, Jabberwocky said:

 

What is hilarious is that they had to pay sooo much to get these guys to come to CStat.

Jimbo: Hey Evan Stewart, how bout $100K to be an aggy?!

 

ES: Nah

Jimbo:.. ok.. $200K

ES: Nah

Jimbo:……$300k

ES: Nah

Jimbo: Fuck it, $400K!

ES: I guess, but Im not coming to practice.

Jimbo: Deal!

Liucci: Another huuuge win for Jimbo!

 

[EZ$ 2102]

2 hours ago, Beantown Express 2.0 said:

Get used to it, alright? We ain't going nowhere."

Is this a quote from when he ducked Wake Forest for their 3rd tier bowl game??

[texifornia 56526]

I mean... accurate?

 

[Duane Moore 5236]

21 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Hey Jimbo, you keep touting these NIL deals but how did you give a player who has not graduated HS an NIL deal?  Isn't that illegal?  Also, where are the commercials/promotions/charity work that we would expect to see from said "NIL" deals?

- Any journalist with half a sack

Completely incurious press. They don’t want to look into it because they are all making their livelihoods off the success of college football. So they just go with the “this NIL stuff is really a game changer” line and move on. 

[dcar00 14035]

1 hour ago, Bevo said:

The much better question is to ask Jimbo to give details about some of the NIL deals

He'll just claim he's not allowed to talk specifics about NIL deals(real or imaginary).

[RGBIII 22798]

1 hour ago, texifornia said:

Fuck cheating, they're not even doing NIL at a particularly game-changing level. Horns with Heart/Clark Field/Burnt Ends is amazing, but none of the big-deal donors have said "fuck it, let's put our dicks on the table and make the rest of the world match us" for the team as a whole.

…yet. It’s coming

[Vertigo 20267]

30 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

…yet. It’s coming

Next time I see you I am going to make it awkward with the PDA.

[markstanco 12509]

Y’all realize this isn’t a 2022 thing. They won’t not pay next year. They are robbing the bank to get rid of 1939.

[Scholz 11934]

Haha Jimbo’s pissy he’s getting called out for obvious cheating. What a lying bag of shit.

[pops 6974]

Give this backwoods cunt 22 5 stars and they still go 8-4. He can't fucking coach so it doesn't make a shit. 

Christmas tree out front should have told you. 

[bizzle 1138]

i'm drinking pappy 12, watching the snowpocalypse blow in and content in knowing there's literally nothing in our history that would suggest we could fuck this up.

[Napoleon 8607]

42 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

…yet. It’s coming

Please, I hope that it is in place for the spring transfers. 

🙏

[Focht Up 631]

5 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Who are you going to believe, them or jimbo?

Aggy is not aloud to lie, right?

[Poe It Up 126]

Holy shit, they landed Jacoby Mathews too? 
 

[tokamak 6352]

To me, the wildest part of the whole story is that it really feels like literally everybody - aggy fans, secrant posters, CFB fans on Twitter, even the fucking media - except for the people on this board somehow think that NIL and bags are the same thing. Like, what the fuck? That is not a difficult concept, at all.

[fattyflattie 4636]

1 minute ago, tokamak said:

To me, the wildest part of the whole story is that it really feels like literally everybody - aggy fans, secrant posters, CFB fans on Twitter, even the fucking media - except for the people on this board somehow think that NIL and bags are the same thing. Like, what the fuck? That is not a difficult concept, at all.

Do you think they don’t know, or don’t care? Jimbo gets the Mack treatment from the media his entire career. They aren’t going to start shitting on him now. 

[ALexusTexus7 114]

There's just so, so fucking much to digest here, I'll just hit the high points:
1. If you ever ask a kid if they were cheating/stealing/etc, and instead of just looking you in the eye and saying absolutely not, they rattle off a five minute diatribe of unnecessary information for no apparent reason, they were almost certainly doing it.
2. If, in the process of rattling off a five minute diatribe of unnecessary information the kid mentions that they know other kids who definitely were cheating/stealing/etc who they can tell you about, that kid was 100% doing it.
3.  If you ever play poker with Jimbo Fisher and he starts nervously taking his glasses on and off, you'll know you're about to make some money.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Point #3 was what I noticed. His nervous tick is putting his glasses on and taking them off repeatedly.


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[Tex Pete 20179]

7 hours ago, fattyflattie said:

You should be too. They just drug they’re nuts across Sarks face. Embarrassing. 

I think you spilled the jizz jar on your face while taking a loooooong pull. 

[C-Man 27058]

9 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

 

[SHOOTER12 8789]

13 hours ago, RGBIII said:

The laws. NIL cannot be legally offered to any person till they are enrolled in a school. however nothing is stopping a billionaire from paying current players 5 mill each. I also welcome those billionaires to my PMs

Bolded, never stopped aggy or others before.

[ousux 5587]

All we need is a small group of hackers to get into emails, phones, and trace some crypto exchanges and some people to document the purchases of these players uncles over the next few months to blow this whole thing open.  What would that cost?  100k?   Russia…if your listening…..

Theyre kinda busy right now..

But still listening.

Also *you're. Can't let that slide brah, sorry.

[SHOOTER12 8789]

11 hours ago, Fud said:

 

Dang how many bullseyes can he hang on his own back at once?

Foolishly made some very powerful enemies with his little rant.

[ousux 5587]

Hard work by our staff...

I'm sure Durkin was tirelessly recruiting for aggy while still employed by klan aggy.

[Bevo14 8274]

6 hours ago, tokamak said:

To me, the wildest part of the whole story is that it really feels like literally everybody - aggy fans, secrant posters, CFB fans on Twitter, even the fucking media - except for the people on this board somehow think that NIL and bags are the same thing. Like, what the fuck? That is not a difficult concept, at all.

Well most of those groups are full of dumbasses so...

[Bevo14 8274]

7 hours ago, texifornia said:

I mean... accurate?

 

But was he all district?

[crimsonlonghorn 2306]

10 hours ago, texifornia said:

I mean... accurate?

 

That is quintessentially aggy. They can't be happy with what they have accomplished, they need to exaggerate it up just a little bit more. 

And if they come back and explain that "AKSHUALLY" there is more than one TE in Sweden (I personally have no idea), that's would be even more of the same. 

[Hefeweizen 5307]

13 hours ago, fattyflattie said:

You should be too. They just drug they’re nuts across Sarks face. Embarrassing. 

Pussy.

[MonkeyDoughnut 10145]

 

Edited February 3, 2022 by MonkeyDoughnut

[Viper 12030]

4 hours ago, ousux said:

17 hours ago, pacman said:

Hard work by our staff...

I'm sure Durkin was tirelessly recruiting for aggy while still employed by klan aggy.

Durkin was out there killing... well not himself but...

[statsman 5425]

There is a problem with dropping bags. 
David Stanley was probably the equivalent of a four star recruit in the ‘80s. SMU bought him. He wasn’t panning out, which was fine…it happens. SMU understood and were ready to continue their commitment. Problem is that Stanley wanted more, and SMU wouldn’t pay. Stanley got upset and went to Dale Hansen. 
 
George Smith was probably a four star recruit for the Ags, from Georgia. He was a FB, played some, but not a difference maker. He left school and a couple of years later decide he needed more money. He threatened to squeal if he didn’t get some. The Ags asst coach fedexed him $20k in cash (viewed by a DMN reporter) and that brought Sherrill down. 
 
NIL is different. It’s year to year, with taxes paid and everything out in the open. Players who lose their spots will be wished well, and replaced. Pay is for performance, not promise. 

Edited February 3, 2022 by statsman

[Chuckie Finster 22600]

What I love is that, objectively, Texas signing a top 5 class after a 5-7 season is every bit as strange as aggy signing #1.  But the unspoken truth, despite all the public hatred of our school, is that people understand that the University of Texas is attractive to recruits.  Whether it is our football history or the city of Austin or just the general vibe around the program, people understand that recruits may illogically be drawn to the burnt orange.

With aggy, there is none of that.  Outside of College Station and the few recruiting reporters required to hype shit like this (and fattyflattie, apparently), there's been no attempt at rationalization or understanding.  Everyone is just assuming that aggy had to be cheating their asses off because the alternative explanation (18 year-olds being illogically drawn to College Station) is just too unbelievable to even consider.

[markstanco 12509]

12 hours ago, bizzle said:

i'm drinking pappy 12, watching the snowpocalypse blow in and content in knowing there's literally nothing in our history that would suggest we could fuck this up.

Literal LOL

[hook me 2080]

14 hours ago, fattyflattie said:

Lol. Tell me what position group outside of Oline that you wouldn’t trade straight up. 

Including transfers so far? 

QB, CB, & potentially WR if Stewart ends up being a cancer. 

a&m signed a hell of a DL class & then went out and hired a DC that typically runs 3 man fronts. I'm sure a few of those guys will end up at LB but they're going to have to answer a lot of questions about playing time or they're going to force their new DC to run a defensive scheme he didn't run at either of his last two stops & still answer questions about playing time because their DL haul from last year was pretty good as well. Sounds promising.

Congrats on the #1 class though. Maybe a 9 win season is within reach now.

[MonkeyDoughnut 10145]

55 minutes ago, statsman said:

NIL is different. It’s year to year, with taxes paid and everything out in the open. Players who lose their spots will be wished well, and replaced. Pay is for performance, not promise. 

That's assuming NIL legal rules are being followed... disgruntled players will still have leverage in many cases. aggy signing best class in history in not relying on pinky promises and "trust me"