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Posted (edited)

Which of you reprobates are going to swill this on a body of water this weekend?  Zepol, I'm looking at you..

View image on Twitter

 

Four Loko Seltzer's biggest selling point is that it'll have three times more alcohol than its hard water competitors. (That's the recipe base for three of the Lokos. The fourth Loko is a tightly guarded company secret.) If the minds behind Four Loko were creating a character in a video game, they'd push all the sliders to the max and wind up with a homunculus that would die choking on Mardi Gras beads soon after its birth. They can't try to just make a thing; the thing has to be the biggest, boldest, most creative thing. And while it will absolutely fail to be any of those, it will succeed in being the dumbest thing.

https://www.cracked.com/article_26629_four-loko-back-as-hard-seltzer-to-make-you-hate-water.html

 

 

Edited by MissingInAction
  • Haha 1
Posted (edited)

The story (for the life of me I can't remember the author/protagonist) from TOS of getting loko'd and winding up in jail was one for the ages.

 

edit- Pato, yes, pretty sure it was.

Edited by Sbbruin
Posted
3 hours ago, Hank Scorpio said:

EB44VUQXoAAVui6.jpg

you stood on the shoulders of geniuses, and before you even knew what you had, you patented it, you packaged it, and now you’re selling it, you wanna sell it. 

  • Like 1
Posted
3 hours ago, Deej said:

Can we get $1000 worth of this for the LSU watch party instead of a tab?

 

3 hours ago, Zepol87 said:

Most of these old fucks would die

Valid point. Better make it $700 worth and use the other $300 to rent stomach pumps. 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Posted
1 hour ago, F250 said:

I suspect a lot of the old fucks on this site go through 750ml of bourbon like it's a glass of tea. Most would complain about too much pissing for 14%ABV.

 

Challenge accepted

Posted
13 hours ago, F250 said:

I suspect a lot of the old fucks on this site go through 750ml of bourbon like it's a glass of tea. Most would complain about too much pissing for 14%ABV.

 

Guilty

Posted

I've never had a four loko that didn't make me feel like absolute shit.   Not from the amount of alcohol, but from the 3 pounds of sugar/corn syrup in each one.  

Posted
On 8/16/2019 at 6:34 PM, Zepol87 said:

Are you really saying you never drank shitty vodka in your days? This is a dumb take

Shitty vodka with Gatorade when I was 19.  But you'd never see me drinking the crackhead version of Sminoff Ice (or regular Smirnoff).  

On 8/16/2019 at 10:12 PM, Fondren & Main said:

You don’t drink Lagavulin to get shitfaced.  Are you dumb?

No, I drink Bulleit, Yellow Rose, or craft beer.  Getting shitfaced doesn't require shitty alcohol.  

Posted
8 minutes ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

 But you'd never see me drinking the crackhead version of Sminoff Ice (or regular Smirnoff).  

 

Regular Smirnoff can hold its own against much pricier vodkas.  

  • Like 2
Posted
10 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

Regular Smirnoff can hold its own against much pricier vodkas.  

The parenthetical meant to refer to Smirnoff Ice, not the vodka.  I couldn't tell you how the vodka compares since I haven't voluntarily consumed vodka in about a decade.  

Posted
1 hour ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

I guess I'm out of the loop. I had to look up this White Claw stuff. Never heard of it. Think I will stick to craft beer.

 

It's the Boones Farm, Mad Dog 20/20, Zima, wine cooler of this generation. Did I miss any? 

Posted
23 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

What was that stupid  Bro trend of getting your bro/fuckboy to kneel and pound an entire smirnoff ice? To prep for the ghey buttseks I assume.

Sounds like someones upset they never got ICED.

Posted (edited)

I remember drinking 4 lokos in college. First time I had 2, I almost burned down a house by passing out while leaving a totinos in the oven for 7 hours. Fire dept came and all 

Edited by hundredTT
Posted
On 8/16/2019 at 4:17 PM, Longhornfan1024 said:

Why do people drink shitty alcohol?

This. Why not drink some good bourbon instead of shit ass alcohol geared towards frat douchebags? A grown man drinking this shit looks ridiculous. 

  • Like 1
Posted
This. Why not drink some good bourbon instead of shit ass alcohol geared towards frat douchebags? A grown man drinking this shit looks ridiculous. 
Timeline bro.

I drank jim beam in college and also schlitz because a 20 pack was $7.99. Why? You know why. Hammer time.

If I was at a tailgate today I wouldn't drink beam or shit beer.
  • Like 1
Posted
The White Claw hard seltzer is great with vodka and lime. I love putting it in a big glass with crushed ice. It is full of sugar though, but I think it is better than Sangria as a summer drink.
 
I actually drank one of those seltzer beers yesterday. Somebody left it in the fridge at the lake and I was working on the sprinklers. It actually was pretty refreshing on a hundred temp day. Would certainly drink again on a hot day, but like a heavy ipa I wouldn't drink more that 2 or 3.
Posted
On 8/16/2019 at 11:47 PM, F250 said:

I suspect a lot of the old fucks on this site go through 750ml of bourbon like it's a glass of tea. Most would complain about too much pissing for 14%ABV.

 

Guilty.

  • Like 1

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