4 Loko version of White Claw

[MissingInAction 25118]

Which of you reprobates are going to swill this on a body of water this weekend?  Zepol, I'm looking at you..

 

Four Loko Seltzer's biggest selling point is that it'll have three times more alcohol than its hard water competitors. (That's the recipe base for three of the Lokos. The fourth Loko is a tightly guarded company secret.) If the minds behind Four Loko were creating a character in a video game, they'd push all the sliders to the max and wind up with a homunculus that would die choking on Mardi Gras beads soon after its birth. They can't try to just make a thing; the thing has to be the biggest, boldest, most creative thing. And while it will absolutely fail to be any of those, it will succeed in being the dumbest thing.

https://www.cracked.com/article_26629_four-loko-back-as-hard-seltzer-to-make-you-hate-water.html

 

 

Edited August 16, 2019 by MissingInAction

[retread 2951]

TOR to the white courtesy phone plz...

[ztejas 43503]

An ER visit waiting to happen

[Chewbacca 7780]

Holy shit.  At 14% you'll be shitfaced after 3-4 of them.

[Baboontyme 2814]

IN!

[Prepuce of Doom 21091]

Posrep for homunculus. 

['stache 21824]

11 minutes ago, Chewbacca said:

Holy shit.  At 14% you'll be shitfaced after 3-4 of them.

[Horn_Spanker 524]

I thought Thujone won?

 

[Zepol87 9188]

I'm down to try it

[MissingInAction 25118]

35 minutes ago, Zepol87 said:

I'm down to try it

And you will be live streaming this event of course.

[Zepol87 9188]

Got you fam. Think this will be good for byob at zona Rosa

[Longhornfan1024 1707]

Why do people drink shitty alcohol?

[kingkoopa6 8372]

young white chicks that want to get them lips pounded in love them white claws

Edited August 16, 2019 by kingkoopa6

[Zepol87 9188]

Why do people drink shitty alcohol?

Are you really saying you never drank shitty vodka in your days? This is a dumb take

[Pato del Muerto 52531]

Hopkinshorn was it?

[Sbbruin 21864]

The story (for the life of me I can't remember the author/protagonist) from TOS of getting loko'd and winding up in jail was one for the ages.

 

edit- Pato, yes, pretty sure it was.

Edited August 16, 2019 by Sbbruin

[Hank Scorpio 17729]

[Zepol87 9188]

Yep that was the legend lol

[Deej 76847]

Can we get $1000 worth of this for the LSU watch party instead of a tab?

Edited August 17, 2019 by Deej

[Zepol87 9188]

Most of these old fucks would die

[immamac 42872]

8 minutes ago, Deej said:

Can we get $1000 worth of this for the LSU watch party instead of a tab?

@DaggerHorns lol

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Derka had a good play by play one night after getting loko

[futureman 22497]

3 hours ago, Hank Scorpio said:

you stood on the shoulders of geniuses, and before you even knew what you had, you patented it, you packaged it, and now you’re selling it, you wanna sell it. 

[futureman 22497]

5 hours ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

Why do people drink shitty alcohol?

to get drunk.

[Fondren & Main 6726]

5 hours ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

Why do people drink shitty alcohol?

You don’t drink Lagavulin to get shitfaced.  Are you dumb?

[Fuck Tim Beck 3834]

3 hours ago, Deej said:

Can we get $1000 worth of this for the LSU watch party instead of a tab?

 

3 hours ago, Zepol87 said:

Most of these old fucks would die

Valid point. Better make it $700 worth and use the other $300 to rent stomach pumps. 

[F250 28788]

4 hours ago, Zepol87 said:

Most of these old fucks would die

I suspect a lot of the old fucks on this site go through 750ml of bourbon like it's a glass of tea. Most would complain about too much pissing for 14%ABV.

 

[Zepol87 9188]

1 hour ago, F250 said:

I suspect a lot of the old fucks on this site go through 750ml of bourbon like it's a glass of tea. Most would complain about too much pissing for 14%ABV.

 

Challenge accepted

[Buzzrock 14926]

Side effects include

[F250 28788]

 

[futureman 22497]

3 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

Side effects include
 

she’s beautiful 

[Brothahorn 10087]

13 hours ago, F250 said:

I suspect a lot of the old fucks on this site go through 750ml of bourbon like it's a glass of tea. Most would complain about too much pissing for 14%ABV.

 

Guilty

[tbone_ 14132]

This is a real thing? I thought 4Loko’s crazy shit got outlawed.

[DaggerHorns 3085]

19 hours ago, immamac said:

@DaggerHorns lol

We have seltzer on tap. It could get very creative with your request for pickle shots.

[Tom 2959]

I've never had a four loko that didn't make me feel like absolute shit.   Not from the amount of alcohol, but from the 3 pounds of sugar/corn syrup in each one.  

[Longhornfan1024 1707]

On 8/16/2019 at 6:34 PM, Zepol87 said:

Are you really saying you never drank shitty vodka in your days? This is a dumb take

Shitty vodka with Gatorade when I was 19.  But you'd never see me drinking the crackhead version of Sminoff Ice (or regular Smirnoff).  

On 8/16/2019 at 10:12 PM, Fondren & Main said:

You don’t drink Lagavulin to get shitfaced.  Are you dumb?

No, I drink Bulleit, Yellow Rose, or craft beer.  Getting shitfaced doesn't require shitty alcohol.  

[Sbbruin 21864]

8 minutes ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

 But you'd never see me drinking the crackhead version of Sminoff Ice (or regular Smirnoff).  

 

Regular Smirnoff can hold its own against much pricier vodkas.  

[MissingInAction 25118]

What was that stupid  Bro trend of getting your bro/fuckboy to kneel and pound an entire smirnoff ice? To prep for the ghey buttseks I assume.

Edited August 19, 2019 by MissingInAction

[Longhornfan1024 1707]

10 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

Regular Smirnoff can hold its own against much pricier vodkas.  

The parenthetical meant to refer to Smirnoff Ice, not the vodka.  I couldn't tell you how the vodka compares since I haven't voluntarily consumed vodka in about a decade.  

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

I guess I'm out of the loop. I had to look up this White Claw stuff. Never heard of it. Think I will stick to craft beer.

[JimmyHoffa 1188]

1 hour ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

I guess I'm out of the loop. I had to look up this White Claw stuff. Never heard of it. Think I will stick to craft beer.

 

It's the Boones Farm, Mad Dog 20/20, Zima, wine cooler of this generation. Did I miss any? 

[Angry Gorilla 1768]

6 hours ago, JimmyHoffa said:

 

It's the Boones Farm, Mad Dog 20/20, Zima, wine cooler of this generation. Did I miss any? 

Trash can punch

[LonghornJones 837]

23 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

What was that stupid  Bro trend of getting your bro/fuckboy to kneel and pound an entire smirnoff ice? To prep for the ghey buttseks I assume.

Sounds like someones upset they never got ICED.

[hundredTT 578]

I remember drinking 4 lokos in college. First time I had 2, I almost burned down a house by passing out while leaving a totinos in the oven for 7 hours. Fire dept came and all 

Edited August 21, 2019 by hundredTT

[Vic Mackey 47089]

On 8/16/2019 at 4:17 PM, Longhornfan1024 said:

Why do people drink shitty alcohol?

This. Why not drink some good bourbon instead of shit ass alcohol geared towards frat douchebags? A grown man drinking this shit looks ridiculous. 

[markstanco 12585]

This. Why not drink some good bourbon instead of shit ass alcohol geared towards frat douchebags? A grown man drinking this shit looks ridiculous. 

Timeline bro.

I drank jim beam in college and also schlitz because a 20 pack was $7.99. Why? You know why. Hammer time.

If I was at a tailgate today I wouldn't drink beam or shit beer.

[burntorangebongos 10747]

The White Claw hard seltzer is great with vodka and lime. I love putting it in a big glass with crushed ice. It is full of sugar though, but I think it is better than Sangria as a summer drink.

 

[markstanco 12585]

The White Claw hard seltzer is great with vodka and lime. I love putting it in a big glass with crushed ice. It is full of sugar though, but I think it is better than Sangria as a summer drink.
 

I actually drank one of those seltzer beers yesterday. Somebody left it in the fridge at the lake and I was working on the sprinklers. It actually was pretty refreshing on a hundred temp day. Would certainly drink again on a hot day, but like a heavy ipa I wouldn't drink more that 2 or 3.

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

On 8/16/2019 at 11:47 PM, F250 said:

I suspect a lot of the old fucks on this site go through 750ml of bourbon like it's a glass of tea. Most would complain about too much pissing for 14%ABV.

 

Guilty.

[Parliament 14264]

 
It's the Boones Farm, Mad Dog 20/20, Zima, wine cooler of this generation. Did I miss any? 

Rolling Rock