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Posted

This is so great.  The Sandy Hook families bid part of their debt so that The Onion could pull this off.  They got his ass in the end.  I was so afraid his cronies were going to get it and it would be business as usual.  Not so fast, asshole!

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Posted

If you happen to go to the Onion's Membership page (https://membership.theonion.com/)... and while there, you happen to sign up and pay for it (although why you would do so is quite beyond me), you will get the following response in confirmation:

 

image.thumb.png.50a893cba90e4ab58b7736ed9729251e.png

i mean maybe the idea of 12 issues in print was just too much for me to pass on

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Posted
1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

The Satanic Panic was in the 80's, not the 90's and sure as shit not 1999. 

That is disappointing. I expect more accurate reporting from The Onion.

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Posted
2 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

The Satanic Panic was in the 80's, not the 90's and sure as shit not 1999. 

Ehh..In SE Texas it was still alive in the mid-late 90s. 

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Posted
16 minutes ago, UT_OB1 said:

Ehh..In SE Texas it was still alive in the mid-late 90s. 

Dudes.  DUDES.  It is 100% alive TODAY.  These MAGA yahoos are saying, RIGHT NOW, that Biden and all Democrats are satanic groomers.

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Posted

Just got my confirmation email from The Onion.

Quote

Your Onion membership allows you to peel back the curtain and access stories that you always suspected to be true, but never had the proof. Now you do.

For example: Does the 1% rule the world? Yes. Can you do anything about it? No. Will recycling help? Also no.

 

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Posted

No. He's toast. Sure, this -- in his mind -- confirms all the dipshit conspiracies he peddles. But his ability to prosecute these matters has been destroyed and made fun of.

Posted
10 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

No. He's toast.

Man.  You really need to be respectful of our incoming Minister of Truth and Information, and Czar of Penalizing the Lugenpresse.  He WILL be monitoring your posts here.

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Posted
3 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Man.  You really need to be respectful of our incoming Minister of Truth and Information, and Czar of Penalizing the Lugenpresse.  He WILL be monitoring your posts here.

With all due respect, I'll salute the man! I'll give him the middle-finger salute! I'll respect him so much I'll salute him with BOTH HANDS!

I did say "with all due respect."

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Posted
Just now, Rimbo said:

With all due respect, I'll salute the man! I'll give him the middle-finger salute! I'll respect him so much I'll salute him with BOTH HANDS!

I did say "with all due respect."

73da7f1c-468f-4744-8be6-c55ba122a7c6_tex

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Posted

On Thursday morning, it was announced that the Onion had bought InfoWars at Jones’s bankruptcy auction.

But later that day, the judge overseeing Jones’s bankruptcy case held an emergency hearing, during which lawyers representing Jones and a company affiliated with him expressed concerns about the auction process. The judge has ordered an evidentiary hearing for next week to determine if the auction was conducted fairly, which could delay the process.

“We’re all going to an evidentiary hearing and I’m going to figure out exactly what happened,” the judge, Christopher Lopez, said in an emergency hearing on Thursday afternoon. “No one should feel comfortable with the results of this auction.”

The only other bidder was First United American Companies, a company that is affiliated with one of Jones’s product-selling websites.

At the emergency hearing on Thursday, a lawyer for First United American Companies took issue with the auction process, noting that no bidding round was held on Wednesday for rival parties, and that only sealed bids submitted the previous week were considered.

But the trustee who oversaw the auction said he followed the judge’s rules laid out in a September order, which made the overbidding round optional.

The exact bid amount offered by the Onion for InfoWars remains unknown, but it has been reported it was lower than First United American’s bid of $3.5m. The Onion’s offer was seen as a better deal because some of the related Sandy Hook families agreed to forgo a portion of the sale proceeds to help pay off Jones’s other creditors.

It was reported on Thursday that the Onion’s purchase of InfoWars received support from families of Sandy Hook shooting victims, to whom Jones owes $1.4bn in defamation judgments after he falsely claimed the 2012 school massacre was a hoax.

In a statement on Friday to Variety, Ben Collins, the CEO of the Onion’s parent company, said: “the joint bid from Global Tetrahedron and the Connecticut families has been selected as the winning bid for Infowars”, adding “the sale is currently underway, pending standard processes.”

On Thursday, after the Onion was announced as a winning bidder, the InfoWars site appeared to be down, and the site displayed a message stating that it was “unavailable until further notice”. But by Friday afternoon it was back online and running in its usual style with Jones claiming that the auction was a “hoax”.

In a post, InfoWars wrote: “We are back”. Soon after, Jones posted: “The InfoWars site has been RESTORED in a massive blow to the Deep State.”

If the sale goes through the Onion has said that it plans to rebuild the InfoWars website to feature internet humor writers and content creators.

Jones said in his live stream: “InfoWars is back up for now, it’s being given back to the rightful owner – yours truly.”

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Posted
50 minutes ago, Foosters said:

On Thursday morning, it was announced that the Onion had bought InfoWars at Jones’s bankruptcy auction.

But later that day, the judge overseeing Jones’s bankruptcy case held an emergency hearing, during which lawyers representing Jones and a company affiliated with him expressed concerns about the auction process. The judge has ordered an evidentiary hearing for next week to determine if the auction was conducted fairly, which could delay the process.

“We’re all going to an evidentiary hearing and I’m going to figure out exactly what happened,” the judge, Christopher Lopez, said in an emergency hearing on Thursday afternoon. “No one should feel comfortable with the results of this auction.”

The only other bidder was First United American Companies, a company that is affiliated with one of Jones’s product-selling websites.

At the emergency hearing on Thursday, a lawyer for First United American Companies took issue with the auction process, noting that no bidding round was held on Wednesday for rival parties, and that only sealed bids submitted the previous week were considered.

But the trustee who oversaw the auction said he followed the judge’s rules laid out in a September order, which made the overbidding round optional.

The exact bid amount offered by the Onion for InfoWars remains unknown, but it has been reported it was lower than First United American’s bid of $3.5m. The Onion’s offer was seen as a better deal because some of the related Sandy Hook families agreed to forgo a portion of the sale proceeds to help pay off Jones’s other creditors.

It was reported on Thursday that the Onion’s purchase of InfoWars received support from families of Sandy Hook shooting victims, to whom Jones owes $1.4bn in defamation judgments after he falsely claimed the 2012 school massacre was a hoax.

In a statement on Friday to Variety, Ben Collins, the CEO of the Onion’s parent company, said: “the joint bid from Global Tetrahedron and the Connecticut families has been selected as the winning bid for Infowars”, adding “the sale is currently underway, pending standard processes.”

On Thursday, after the Onion was announced as a winning bidder, the InfoWars site appeared to be down, and the site displayed a message stating that it was “unavailable until further notice”. But by Friday afternoon it was back online and running in its usual style with Jones claiming that the auction was a “hoax”.

In a post, InfoWars wrote: “We are back”. Soon after, Jones posted: “The InfoWars site has been RESTORED in a massive blow to the Deep State.”

If the sale goes through the Onion has said that it plans to rebuild the InfoWars website to feature internet humor writers and content creators.

Jones said in his live stream: “InfoWars is back up for now, it’s being given back to the rightful owner – yours truly.”

I'm unreasonably angry about this.

This was the only good news I'd heard all week, and now it's getting taken away from me.

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Posted
44 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

I'm unreasonably angry about this.

This was the only good news I'd heard all week, and now it's getting taken away from me.

Pace yourself. We've got at least 4 years of a completely unsatisfying, no one gets what's coming to them, bang your head against the wall, you've got to be shitting me reality.

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Posted
7 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

Pace yourself. We've got at least 4 years of a completely unsatisfying, no one gets what's coming to them, bang your head against the wall, you've got to be shitting me reality.

Star Trek Spock GIF

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Posted
2 hours ago, Foosters said:

On Thursday morning, it was announced that the Onion had bought InfoWars at Jones’s bankruptcy auction.

But later that day, the judge overseeing Jones’s bankruptcy case held an emergency hearing, during which lawyers representing Jones and a company affiliated with him expressed concerns about the auction process. The judge has ordered an evidentiary hearing for next week to determine if the auction was conducted fairly, which could delay the process.

“We’re all going to an evidentiary hearing and I’m going to figure out exactly what happened,” the judge, Christopher Lopez, said in an emergency hearing on Thursday afternoon. “No one should feel comfortable with the results of this auction.”

The only other bidder was First United American Companies, a company that is affiliated with one of Jones’s product-selling websites.

At the emergency hearing on Thursday, a lawyer for First United American Companies took issue with the auction process, noting that no bidding round was held on Wednesday for rival parties, and that only sealed bids submitted the previous week were considered.

But the trustee who oversaw the auction said he followed the judge’s rules laid out in a September order, which made the overbidding round optional.

The exact bid amount offered by the Onion for InfoWars remains unknown, but it has been reported it was lower than First United American’s bid of $3.5m. The Onion’s offer was seen as a better deal because some of the related Sandy Hook families agreed to forgo a portion of the sale proceeds to help pay off Jones’s other creditors.

It was reported on Thursday that the Onion’s purchase of InfoWars received support from families of Sandy Hook shooting victims, to whom Jones owes $1.4bn in defamation judgments after he falsely claimed the 2012 school massacre was a hoax.

In a statement on Friday to Variety, Ben Collins, the CEO of the Onion’s parent company, said: “the joint bid from Global Tetrahedron and the Connecticut families has been selected as the winning bid for Infowars”, adding “the sale is currently underway, pending standard processes.”

On Thursday, after the Onion was announced as a winning bidder, the InfoWars site appeared to be down, and the site displayed a message stating that it was “unavailable until further notice”. But by Friday afternoon it was back online and running in its usual style with Jones claiming that the auction was a “hoax”.

In a post, InfoWars wrote: “We are back”. Soon after, Jones posted: “The InfoWars site has been RESTORED in a massive blow to the Deep State.”

If the sale goes through the Onion has said that it plans to rebuild the InfoWars website to feature internet humor writers and content creators.

Jones said in his live stream: “InfoWars is back up for now, it’s being given back to the rightful owner – yours truly.”

So literally just Infowars complaining to the judge about the rules the judge set and they agreed to, and the judge is siding with the complaintant? What the fuck?

I need a surlylawyer to come in here and tell my why I'm a fascist for thinking anything could possibly happen to this scumbag

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Posted
11 minutes ago, Captainant said:

I need a surlylawyer to come in here and tell my why I'm a fascist for thinking anything could possibly happen to this scumbag

lmao

figure it out yourself. attorneys are all fascist enablers, as you never fail to remind us

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Posted
1 hour ago, Captainant said:

So literally just Infowars complaining to the judge about the rules the judge set and they agreed to, and the judge is siding with the complaintant? What the fuck?

I need a surlylawyer to come in here and tell my why I'm a fascist for thinking anything could possibly happen to this scumbag

I don't know what specific irregularity they pointed to or what evidence they brought forward, but it was at least enough to cast some doubt on the process.  I can tell you this, the bankruptcy bar - bankruptcy judges, trustees and lawyers - run a pretty tight ship.  It sounds to me like there is some misunderstanding, or a pretend misunderstanding by the Alex Jones camp, about the auction rules the judge set.  The trustee attempted to follow them, but may have misinterpreted those rules if the Jones people are right.

It probably don't make a shit because they would just do the auction over again, unless there was some serious malfeasance by the trustee and/or the winning bidders. Short of that, the same group would win it.

Posted
16 minutes ago, Ojo Rojo said:

I don't know what specific irregularity they pointed to or what evidence they brought forward, but it was at least enough to cast some doubt on the process.  I can tell you this, the bankruptcy bar - bankruptcy judges, trustees and lawyers - run a pretty tight ship.  It sounds to me like there is some misunderstanding, or a pretend misunderstanding by the Alex Jones camp, about the auction rules the judge set.  The trustee attempted to follow them, but may have misinterpreted those rules if the Jones people are right.

It probably don't make a shit because they would just do the auction over again, unless there was some serious malfeasance by the trustee and/or the winning bidders. Short of that, the same group would win it.

It reads to me more as sour grapes because Jones and his camp were expecting to be able to rebuy the asset at auction. "Just redoing" an auction is a big fuckin deal, and would significantly change the bidding once everyone knows what the winning bid was - especially since it was a sealed bidding process

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Captainant said:

So literally just Infowars complaining to the judge about the rules the judge set and they agreed to, and the judge is siding with the complaintant? What the fuck?

I need a surlylawyer to come in here and tell my why I'm a fascist for thinking anything could possibly happen to this scumbag

I'm not going to call you a fascist.  I'm using your post to quote for no better reason than to say that I think this whole story is a bit.  It's the Onion.  Maybe I'm wrong, but this feels like a bit.  If it is, it's brilliant.  This is precisely the first thing I would do if I were in charge of the Onion after it bought infowars. 

 

If not, WTF.  Shouted down from Brisketexan's ledge.

Edited by dcbc
Posted
31 minutes ago, Captainant said:

It reads to me more as sour grapes because Jones and his camp were expecting to be able to rebuy the asset at auction. "Just redoing" an auction is a big fuckin deal, and would significantly change the bidding once everyone knows what the winning bid was - especially since it was a sealed bidding process

The families have $1.4 billion to play with.  From my read, none of them care about the money and they don't expect to get pennies on the dollar anyway.  So they can bid up to $1.4 billion plus whatever actual cash The Onion is kicking in, which has to be something so that the other creditors can get paid something.

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Posted
19 minutes ago, Ojo Rojo said:

The families have $1.4 billion to play with.  From my read, none of them care about the money and they don't expect to get pennies on the dollar anyway.  So they can bid up to $1.4 billion plus whatever actual cash The Onion is kicking in, which has to be something so that the other creditors can get paid something.

Yeah from what I can tell, short of reading the order. in accordance with the auction rules, the Trustee took sealed bids, with an option to do overbidding the following day, which would have been an open-bid style auction.  He declined to do that.  There were two sealed bids, one from an entity associated with Jones' supplement sales for 3.5M cash and one from the Onion that was less cash and some credit from the plaintiffs.

So, the judge needs to figure out why the overbidding round was blown off.

Posted (edited)

Ok, what the fuck is going on

https://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/elon-musk-x-corp-alex-jones-infowars-rcna180487

 
Nov. 16, 2024, 4:01 PM CST
By Rob Wile

Attorneys for X Corp., the firm established by Elon Musk to take over Twitter, filed a notice of appearance on Thursday in the bankruptcy case of Alex Jones and his Infowars platform.

The new owners of satirical news site The Onion had been declared the successful bidders for Jones controversial platform, alongside families of the Sandy Hook massacre victims.

 

But this week, the Texas bankruptcy judge overhearing the case voiced concerns about the transparency of the auction process and called for a new hearing to discuss those potential issues.

“Nobody should feel comfortable with the results of the auction,” Judge Christopher M. Lopez said, according to a Bloomberg News report.

The X Corp. filing, dated Nov. 14 and first reported by Mother Jones, does not disclose the purpose of X’s appearance, other than to state the rights reserved to it as an interested party, and to request all relevant documents in the case.

Attorneys for X listed in the filing did not respond to a request for comment. A lawyer representing The Onion also did not respond to a request for comment.

Both Musk and Jones are known allies of President-elect Donald Trump. Musk has allowed Infowars to broadcast on X while Infowars’ fate is in limbo.

Edited by Captainant
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Posted

if i had to guess...the reich didn't like that The Onion purchased one of their mouthpieces, and so the sale will be declared void bc reasons, and Texas, and our first dork will buy it instead. 

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Posted
I don't know what specific irregularity they pointed to or what evidence they brought forward, but it was at least enough to cast some doubt on the process.  I can tell you this, the bankruptcy bar - bankruptcy judges, trustees and lawyers - run a pretty tight ship.  It sounds to me like there is some misunderstanding, or a pretend misunderstanding by the Alex Jones camp, about the auction rules the judge set.  The trustee attempted to follow them, but may have misinterpreted those rules if the Jones people are right.
It probably don't make a shit because they would just do the auction over again, unless there was some serious malfeasance by the trustee and/or the winning bidders. Short of that, the same group would win it.

lol. SD TX begs to differ.
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Interesting update

https://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/judge-review-alex-jones-attempt-block-infowars-sale-onion-rcna181377

Another bidder, First United American Companies, a limited liability company affiliated with Jones' dietary supplements business, had challenged the results of the auction after it said it bid twice as much cash as the Onion.

...

But First United American Companies quickly contested the results, saying in an emergency filing attempting to block the sale that it had offered $3.5 million in cash — compared to the Onion's $1.75 million.

The auction process approved by Lopez did not require Murray to automatically select the bidder that submitted the highest amount, and the trustee could reject the bid that was "contrary to the best interests" of the estate creditors.

"I want a fair and transparent process, and let's see where that process goes," Lopez said, adding, "Everyone will have their day in court."

At a prior court hearing following the auction, Murray said, "the creditors ended up significantly better off" under the Onion's bid. He also explained in a filing that the majority of Sandy Hook families were willing to forgo their share of the sale proceeds and instead take a percentage from future revenues from a revamped Infowars, which would allow the other creditors to collect more money.

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Posted
6 minutes ago, Captainant said:

Interesting update

https://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/judge-review-alex-jones-attempt-block-infowars-sale-onion-rcna181377

Another bidder, First United American Companies, a limited liability company affiliated with Jones' dietary supplements business, had challenged the results of the auction after it said it bid twice as much cash as the Onion.

...

But First United American Companies quickly contested the results, saying in an emergency filing attempting to block the sale that it had offered $3.5 million in cash — compared to the Onion's $1.75 million.

The auction process approved by Lopez did not require Murray to automatically select the bidder that submitted the highest amount, and the trustee could reject the bid that was "contrary to the best interests" of the estate creditors.

"I want a fair and transparent process, and let's see where that process goes," Lopez said, adding, "Everyone will have their day in court."

At a prior court hearing following the auction, Murray said, "the creditors ended up significantly better off" under the Onion's bid. He also explained in a filing that the majority of Sandy Hook families were willing to forgo their share of the sale proceeds and instead take a percentage from future revenues from a revamped Infowars, which would allow the other creditors to collect more money.

Ok this makes some sense.  The Onion's bid was less cash money than First American's.  But the Trustee, in the court's order, retained business judgment to choose among the bids.  So, now the only question is really whether the business judgment is defensible.

Also, the appearance of X is explained here.https://apnews.com/article/alex-jones-infowars-auction-onion-newtown-8352f1e442c5d37f64a798416ff5afa8

Also Monday, lawyers for the social media platform X objected to any sale of the accounts of both Jones and Infowars, saying X is the owner of the accounts and it has not given consent for them to be sold or transferred. Jones’ personal X account, with 3.3 million followers, was not part of the auction, but Lopez will be deciding if it should be included in the liquidation.

Posted (edited)

So, on the twatterx issue. Twatter claims that users only have a license from X to use the services.  And that's true as far as it goes.  The user owns the content, of course, subject to the obnoxious licenses Twatter gives itself in the TOS.

But bankruptcy trustees have the power to assume or reject contracts, like licenses, that encumber the debtor or the debtor's assets.

IP licenses and other contracts that are very personal in nature (I.e. where the licensor chooses a counterparty carefully and heavily tailors the terms to that licensee) cannot be rejected without both parties' consent, usually.  But the twatterx license is about as impersonal as one can conceive.  So, I suspect that X's efforts to do whatever they're doing (retain the names/accounts and resell or gift them back to Jones) will be unavailing.  Jones, so now the Trustee, owns the content and the Trustee can do with it as he pleases.

Tricky area though.

Edited by TwiceHorn
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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
4 minutes ago, Captainant said:

Lol some corrupt old asshole judge is Houston said that the auction was unfair and homes shouldn't have lost. Of fucking course the legal system protected this racist and fascist fuck. 

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/internet/bankruptcy-judge-rejects-onions-bid-buy-alex-jones-infowars-rcna183453

 

If the plaintiffs receive more money with another auction or Elon buys it for even more, I see it as good news. Who cares if the Onion has it or some right wing group. The crazy people will always find crazy websites.

Posted
9 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

If the plaintiffs receive more money with another auction or Elon buys it for even more, I see it as good news. Who cares if the Onion has it or some right wing group. The crazy people will always find crazy websites.

That's the funny thing - he didn't give any solution and left it to the bankruptcy trustee. No new auction but they can't use the old one.

From the article, jonesco used the Chewbacca defense and the old senile judge fell for it 

Posted
That's the funny thing - he didn't give any solution and left it to the bankruptcy trustee. No new auction but they can't use the old one.
From the article, jonesco used the Chewbacca defense and the old senile judge fell for it 

It is not hard to convince a bankruptcy judge that you need to go get more money for the creditors if there’s a reasonable chance it exists. They exist to gather the most money for creditors. They give not a whit for moral justice or where the money comes from, just how much is going into the pot. It isn’t satisfying, but that’s bankruptcy law in a nutshell.
Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, Chad Fuck said:


It is not hard to convince a bankruptcy judge that you need to go get more money for the creditors if there’s a reasonable chance it exists. They exist to gather the most money for creditors. They give not a whit for moral justice or where the money comes from, just how much is going into the pot. It isn’t satisfying, but that’s bankruptcy law in a nutshell.

The families stood to gain $7M over the next decade, as opposed to the $3.5M immediate payout from Alex Jones' dad. Who assumed ownership of most of the rest of  infowars' assets that they couldn't get out before the bankruptcy hit.

This is an uncritical and lazy take.

Edited by Captainant
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Posted
2 hours ago, Captainant said:

The families stood to gain $7M over the next decade, as opposed to the $3.5M immediate payout from Alex Jones' dad. Who assumed ownership of most of the rest of  infowars' assets that they couldn't get out before the bankruptcy hit.

This is an uncritical and lazy take.

Cash money today is worth more than the promise of money tomorrow.  The whole bankruptcy system exists because of promises of money tomorrow that can't be kept.  Cash is king, take your promises somewhere other than bankruptcy court.  That is the bottom line.  

While I appreciate your comments in general, I've seen you lecture lawyers on the law with some frequency, and frankly you have a track record of bad legal takes.  This is one of them.  I hate Alex Jones and what he has done as much as anyone, but the bankruptcy system simply isn't built to seek "justice" as the public at large would interpret that.  It's meant to give everyone a bite from a plate that can't make everyone full.  

2 hours ago, wildcat09 said:

Bankruptcy judges serve for set terms. This was this judge’s audition for a lifetime appointment.

This right here.  We can quibble what the audition was for, but they're always auditioning.  If someone kept track of all the bankruptcy judges who left the bench for cushy jobs in the offices of law firms that practice before them, well, I bet it'd be an interesting gander.  

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Posted
4 minutes ago, Chad Fuck said:

Cash money today is worth more than the promise of money tomorrow.  The whole bankruptcy system exists because of promises of money tomorrow that can't be kept.  Cash is king, take your promises somewhere other than bankruptcy court.  That is the bottom line.  

While I appreciate your comments in general, I've seen you lecture lawyers on the law with some frequency, and frankly you have a track record of bad legal takes.  This is one of them.  I hate Alex Jones and what he has done as much as anyone, but the bankruptcy system simply isn't built to seek "justice" as the public at large would interpret that.  It's meant to give everyone a bite from a plate that can't make everyone full.  

It's surprising that the bankruptcy judge would ignore the will of the largest creditors that are getting almost the entire plate either way. 

But sure, selling the whole thing back to his daddy at a cut rate - against the preferred business plan of the creditors - is DEFINITELY the most pragmatic solution.



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