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Texas Recruiting Notes 2023: Strippers, Monkeys, and 5-Stars

Machinator

By Machinator
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Born Burnt
Born Burnt
hornlife
hornlife

49 in Sept.  It sucks - went from jogging and a swimmer to tremors and shakes.  I'm scared to death of fixing a light bulb on a ladder.  I just pray it isn't MS.  Neither have a blood test, it takes t

closetojumping
closetojumping

I know it feels like cool shit is happening, but Surly needs to gear all the fucking way up. Big big things coming. Let’s.Fucking.Go!

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62785

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, Huckleberry said:

https://www.hornfans.com/threads/do-we-realize-how-good-weve-got-it.325/

 

14 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I was on the boards then, but don’t remember that post. Did he lose a bet and have to post that?  It sounds like a completely different human being. 
 

You fucking people. 

That said, give me that era versus the last 12. If we’re turning a corner in football, don’t forget to savor the flavor. 

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19147

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

 

You fucking people. 

That said, give me that era versus the last 12. If we’re turning a corner in football, don’t forget to savor the flavor. 

What’s funny is 10 years after you lose the bet to me and have to write a letter explaining how awesome Herman is, people will pull that post and not realize it was a bet

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UncleSonny

UncleSonny 6573

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Posted

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-audible-with-stew-bruce-a-show-about-college-football/id884362991?i=1000567541864
Posting this here, but probably don’t waste your time.

Pretty incredible moment at around 20 min mark though, they are talking about scenarios for how our qb situation plays out and Stew decided that the most likely scenario is Card starts all year this year and then we enter the 2023 spring with a 3 way position battle between Card, Ewers, and Arch. Somehow ever dumber than yesterday’s dumbass tweet. 
 

 


 

 

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Sir Ulrich

Sir Ulrich 5188

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, UncleSonny said:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-audible-with-stew-bruce-a-show-about-college-football/id884362991?i=1000567541864
Posting this here, but probably don’t waste your time.

Pretty incredible moment at around 20 min mark though, they are talking about scenarios for how our qb situation plays out and Stew decided that the most likely scenario is Card starts all year this year and then we enter the 2023 spring with a 3 way position battle between Card, Ewers, and Arch. Somehow ever dumber than yesterday’s dumbass tweet. 
 

 


 

 

That's all the big ones spent their time on yesterday. They are already rooting for this to fail.

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Gut Wagon

Gut Wagon 8086

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, Sir Ulrich said:

They are already rooting for this to fail.

That's a given. Texas is CFB's most popular punching bag, in part due to the fact we're perceived to have inherent advantages no other program has. Not that we haven't made it easy for the media to say we've underachieved for years. 

That said, it's worth noting that a certain percentage of sportswriters question that the sun actually came up this morning. 

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Harvdog

Harvdog 2300

Posted
Posted
54 minutes ago, Coach pop a bitch said:

You got to be fucking kidding me! As a devout catholic it always reminds me of when God spoke to Moses through the burning bush. 

When you were born from the fire bush, you don’t go back…unless you have an Oedipus complex.

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NoName

NoName 16369

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, UncleSonny said:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-audible-with-stew-bruce-a-show-about-college-football/id884362991?i=1000567541864
Posting this here, but probably don’t waste your time.

Pretty incredible moment at around 20 min mark though, they are talking about scenarios for how our qb situation plays out and Stew decided that the most likely scenario is Card starts all year this year and then we enter the 2023 spring with a 3 way position battle between Card, Ewers, and Arch. Somehow ever dumber than yesterday’s dumbass tweet.

the gift that keeps on giving.

If Hudson Card starts all year this year, it is because Ewers got monkeypox, turned into a monkey for 12 months and then broke both arms.

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Duane Moore

Duane Moore 5248

Posted
Posted
34 minutes ago, Gut Wagon said:

That's a given. Texas is CFB's most popular punching bag, in part due to the fact we're perceived to have inherent advantages no other program has. Not that we haven't made it easy for the media to say we've underachieved for years. 

That said, it's worth noting that a certain percentage of sportswriters question that the sun actually came up this morning. 

It’s a profession where having a terrible take is more valued than having no take at all. 

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Speedway

Speedway 152

Posted
Posted (edited)
16 minutes ago, Fud said:

So who all are we landing 

How does Manning's commitment effect the following list?

 

OFFENSE (12)

Quarterback (1)

1.      Arch Manning Isidore Newman (New Orleans, LA) 6-4 215 98.65 ***** TEXAS

Running Back (2)         

2.       Rueben Owens El Campo (El Campo, TX) 6-0 200 95.30 **** Louisville

3.       Cedric Baxter Jr. Edgewater (Orlando, FL) 6-1 205 94.67 ****

4.      Tre Wisner Connally (Waco, TX) 5-11 181 89.75 **** TEXAS

5.       Cameron Cook Stony Point (Round Rock, TX) 5-10 180 89.75 ****

6.       Javin Simpkins Norland (Miami, FL) 5-8 175 89.35 ****

A’Marion Peterson, Quentin Joyner, Kedrick Reescano

Wide Receiver (3)

7.       Jalen Brown Gulliver Prep (Miami, FL) 6-1 160 95.80 ****

8.       Johntay Cook II DeSoto (DeSoto, TX) 6-0 171 95.30 ****

9.       Jaquaize Pettaway Langham Creek (Houston, TX) 5-11 170 93.92 ****

10.   Ryan Niblett Aldine Eisenhower (Houston, TX) 6-0170 93.58 **** TEXAS

11.   Jalen Hale Longview (Longview, TX) 6-1 173 93.52 ****

12.   Braylon James Stony Point (Round Rock, TX) 6-3 174 91.80 **** Notre Dame

13.   Jaden Greathouse Westlake (Austin, TX) 6-2 219 92.00 ****

14.   Jonah Wilson Dekaney (Houston, TX) 6-2 200 90.17 ****

15.   Kyle Parker Lovejoy (Lucas, TX) 5-1 1175 86.70 ***

Anthony Evans

Tight End (2)

16.   Lafayette Kaiuway Sam Houston (Arlington, TX) 6-5 215 88.03 *** TCU

17.   Will Randle Isidore Newman (New Orleans, LA) 6-4 220 88.00 *** TEXAS

18.   Connor Cox The Bolles School (Jacksonville, FL) 6-5 225 87.00 ***

19.   Spencer Shannon Mater Dei (Santa Ana, CA) 6-7 230 87.00 *** TEXAS

Offensive Line (4)

20.   Zalance Heard Neville (Monroe, LA) 6-5.5 305 94.00 ****

21.   Harris Sewell Permian (Odessa, TX) 6-4 302 93.25 ****

22.   Markis Deal Naaman Forest (Garland, TX) 6-4 280 92.85 ****

23.   Isaiah Robinson Lamar (Arlington, TX) 6-7 278 90.92 ****

24.   Ian Reed Vandegrift (Austin, TX) 6-6 290 90.67 **** Clemson

25.   Terrance Green Cy Woods (Cypress, TX) 6-5.5 275 90.00 ****

26.   Jaydon Chatman Harker Heights (Harker Heights, TX) 6-4 285 89.78 ****

27.   Connor Stroh Wakeland (Frisco, TX) 6-7 345 88.25 ***

28.   Andre Cojoe Mansfield Timberview (Arlington, TX) 6-6 334 86.67 ***

Jarren Wood, TJ Shanahan, Chase Bisontis, Zay Alexander, Francis Mauigoa, Vysen Lang, Malachi Breland, Narado Stoker

 

DEFENSE (14)

Edge (3)

1.       Derion Gullette Marlin (Marlin, TX) 6-3 225 92.13 ****

2.       Desmond Umeozulu C.H. Flowers (Up. Marlboro, MD) 6-6 222 91.20 ****

3.       Colton Vasek Westlake (Austin, TX) 6-6 225 91.05 ****

4.       Braylan Shelby Friendswood (Friendswood, TX) 6-5 225 91.03 ****

5.       Brad Spence Klein Forest (Houston, TX) 6-3 215 87.33 ***

6.       Billy Walton South Oak Cliff (Dallas, TX) 6-3220 86.83 *** Oklahoma St

Matayo Uiagalelei, Tausili Akana, Bai Jobe, Princewill Umanmielen, Tre Williams

Defensive Line (3)

7.       David Hicks Allen (Allen, TX) 6-4 270 97.47 *****

8.       Avion Carter Tascosa (Amarillo, TX) 6-3 252 91.20 **** TCU

9.      Dylan Spencer C.E. King (Houston, TX) 6-4 241 90.20 **** TEXAS

10.   Ashton Porter Cy Ranch (Cypress, TX) 6-3 236 90.17 **** Northwestern

11.   Ansel Nedore Round Rock (Round Rock, TX) 6-3 255 89.33 ****

12.   My'Keil Gardner Liberty (Peoria, AZ) 6-3 287 88.67 ***

13.   Samu Taumanupepe Atascocita (Humble, TX) DL 6-3 375 87.00 ***

Jordan Renaud, Sydir Mitchell, Trey Wilson, Enow Etta

Linebacker (3)

14.   Anthony Hill Ryan (Denton, TX) 6-2 228 96.83 *****

15.   S’Maje Burrell North Crowley (Fort Worth, TX) 6-1 215 90.42 **** TEXAS

16.   Liona Lefau Kahuku (Kahuku, HI) 6-1 211 89.28 ****

17.   Jayven Anderson North Shore (Houston, TX) 6-1210 84.50 ***

Kennon Loftin, Johnathan Hall, Liona Lefau, Corey Kelly, Kylan Salter, Bryson Washington, Caleb Otlewski

Cornerback (2)

18.   Malik Muhammad South Oak Cliff (Dallas, TX) 5-11 169 94.42 ****

19.   Bravion Rogers La Grange (La Grange, TX) 6-0 175 95.00 **** a&m

20.   Jayvon Thomas South Oak Cliff (Dallas, TX) 5-11 170 93.25 **** a&m

21.   Jordan Matthews Woodlawn (Baton Rouge, LA) 6-1 175 91.97 ****

Rodrick Pleasant, TayShawn Wilson, Jasiah Wagoner, Chance Rucker, Vernon Glover, Jaylon Braxton, Jacoby Davis

Safety (2)

22.   Javien Toviano Martin (Arlington, TX) 6-1 185 95.50 ****

23.   Derek Williams Westgate (New Iberia, LA) 6-3 185 95.38 ****

24.   Dalton Brooks Shiner (Shiner, TX) 6-1 175 93.50 ****

25.   Jamel Johnson Seguin (Arlington, TX) 6-1 174 90.95 **** TEXAS

26.   Tyler Turner William J. Brennan (San Antonio, TX) 6-0 180 88.80 *** Oregon

27.   Johnathan Hall Katy (Katy, TX) 6-1 200 87.00 ***

Makari Vickers, Deldrick Madison, Daniel Demery, Braxton Myers, Jordan Sanford, Devin McCuin, Javeon Wilcox

Athlete (1)

28.   Mikal Harrison-Pilot Temple (Temple, TX) 6-0 190 91.70 ****

29.   John Randle Jr. Heights (Wichita, KS) 6-0 180 89.85 ****

30.   Jamaal Shaw West Orange-Stark (Orange, TX) 6-1 180 89.00 ****

Anthony White

Special Teams (1)

Punter (1)

1.       Tyler White Carroll Senior (Southlake, TX) 6-5 200 80.00 *** a&m

 

 

 

Edited by Speedway
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CoachEmUp64

CoachEmUp64 79

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, SuckitKevin said:

What’s the story with Hicks, why was he so cold on Texas? I don’t think I’ve ever really heard much of an explanation.

Dad likes ND and son likes Oregon/Miami... the compromise was A&M, until now. Arch changed things. This one will go down to the wire tho.

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Duane Moore

Duane Moore 5248

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, CoachEmUp64 said:

Dad likes ND and son likes Oregon/Miami... the compromise was A&M, until now. Arch changed things. This one will go down to the wire tho.

I’m not questioning your intel but I’d love to hear the logic that led to ATM being the compromise between ND and Oregon/Miami, for a kid from Katy. 

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