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Texas Recruiting Notes 2023: Strippers, Monkeys, and 5-Stars

Machinator

By Machinator
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Born Burnt
Born Burnt
hornlife
hornlife

49 in Sept.  It sucks - went from jogging and a swimmer to tremors and shakes.  I'm scared to death of fixing a light bulb on a ladder.  I just pray it isn't MS.  Neither have a blood test, it takes t

closetojumping
closetojumping

I know it feels like cool shit is happening, but Surly needs to gear all the fucking way up. Big big things coming. Let’s.Fucking.Go!

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HtownHorn

HtownHorn 14786

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4 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

They better do more than that- aren’t we like 2 or 3 days away from the dead period?  I guess they could still go public during the dead period but that seems like a waste for the staff. 

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19153

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9 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

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Here is my point (I thought clear but I guess not). If we have 5 guys lined up ready to commit it would not be optimal to string this out until the dead period, as I would imagine every time we have a commit go public that gives our coaches a reason to call other prospects and have a purpose behind the conversation. I’d prefer all our commits publicly drop during active recruiting periods. 

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Rimbo

Rimbo 26140

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1 hour ago, RaysBoomBoomRoom said:

Do you know why they hate each other so much? Didn’t ketch give Gerry his first job?

I don't think Gerry hates Ketch, other than knowing, as we all do, that Ketch is a complete scum sucking ass munch. Gerry puts in a LOT of work in recruiting, and everything that made Ketch famous came from Gerry's efforts. So now, Gerry keeps on being relevant, while Ketch has to be a little bitch about Gerry actually being successful.

All Gerry's ever done is bust his ass and report on recruiting. Gerry never fired a guy for getting cancer. Gerry never embezzled from a celebrity golf tournament. Gerry never closed down the all-you-can-eat buffet. This bothers Ketch, that someone can succeed by doing great work without having an angle.

Don't even get me started. Fuck Ketch with Amber Heard's shit-covered bedsheets.

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Mr. Mojo Risin'

Mr. Mojo Risin' 2205

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2 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

I don't think Gerry hates Ketch, other than knowing, as we all do, that Ketch is a complete scum sucking ass munch. Gerry puts in a LOT of work in recruiting, and everything that made Ketch famous came from Gerry's efforts. So now, Gerry keeps on being relevant, while Ketch has to be a little bitch about Gerry actually being successful.

All Gerry's ever done is bust his ass and report on recruiting. Gerry never fired a guy for getting cancer. Gerry never embezzled from a celebrity golf tournament. Gerry never closed down the all-you-can-eat buffet. This bothers Ketch, that someone can succeed by doing great work without having an angle.

Don't even get me started. Fuck Ketch with Amber Heard's shit-covered bedsheets.

Amen brother

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Henry Hill

Henry Hill 3156

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7 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

I don't think Gerry hates Ketch, other than knowing, as we all do, that Ketch is a complete scum sucking ass munch. Gerry puts in a LOT of work in recruiting, and everything that made Ketch famous came from Gerry's efforts. So now, Gerry keeps on being relevant, while Ketch has to be a little bitch about Gerry actually being successful.

All Gerry's ever done is bust his ass and report on recruiting. Gerry never fired a guy for getting cancer. Gerry never embezzled from a celebrity golf tournament. Gerry never closed down the all-you-can-eat buffet. This bothers Ketch, that someone can succeed by doing great work without having an angle.

Don't even get me started. Fuck Ketch with Amber Heard's shit-covered bedsheets.

Also quite the comedian. That rascal.

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TommyGufano

TommyGufano 6021

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1 minute ago, Rimbo said:

If you locked me in a room with Hitler, Putin, Osama bin Laden and Ketch, gave me a gun with three bullets and I couldn't leave until the gun had discharged three times, I'd shoot Ketch with all three shots.

2 of those guys are already dead. Why not use one bullet on Putin and presumably you can take down Ketch with 2 bullets

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Tree Fidy

Tree Fidy 1174

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I don't think Gerry hates Ketch, other than knowing, as we all do, that Ketch is a complete scum sucking ass munch. Gerry puts in a LOT of work in recruiting, and everything that made Ketch famous came from Gerry's efforts. So now, Gerry keeps on being relevant, while Ketch has to be a little bitch about Gerry actually being successful.
All Gerry's ever done is bust his ass and report on recruiting. Gerry never fired a guy for getting cancer. Gerry never embezzled from a celebrity golf tournament. Gerry never closed down the all-you-can-eat buffet. This bothers Ketch, that someone can succeed by doing great work without having an angle.
Don't even get me started. Fuck Ketch with Amber Heard's shit-covered bedsheets.

Welcome Gerry! I had no idea we had two $9.95’ers on Surly.
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Huckleberry

Huckleberry 33114

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22 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Here is my point (I thought clear but I guess not). If we have 5 guys lined up ready to commit it would not be optimal to string this out until the dead period, as I would imagine every time we have a commit go public that gives our coaches a reason to call other prospects and have a purpose behind the conversation. I’d prefer all our commits publicly drop during active recruiting periods. 

Coaches can call and text recruits during dead periods. The only thing they can't do is have in-person contact. 

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19153

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2 minutes ago, Huckleberry said:

Coaches can call and text recruits during dead periods. The only thing they can't do is have in-person contact. 

I thought the recruits had to initiate the calls or texts?  When did that change?  
thanks for the info. I guess I hope we don’t do 1 a day then out of sheer impatience. 

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Teryor

Teryor 4484

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Standish: No more news tonight

Spoiler

— There won’t be any more Sark After Dark bombs tonight after the verbal pledge of five-star safety Derek Williams from Louisiana continued the fireworks earlier today. It can’t be stated enough around the industry, talking with sources, and even recruits how much of an impact Williams’ pledge to Texas made.

A lot of people I spoke to today felt like it was one thing for Texas to grab Arch Manning and a host of offensive lineman, that tracked with Steve Sarkisian’s prior track record and results on the recruiting trail last year.

It’s another thing to go into Louisiana and grab a five-star safety coveted by Alabama, LSU, and Texas A&M on the back of those results from the weekend post Arch Madness. Texas could pair Williams with fellow Louisiana native and likely rankings riser Jordan Matthews, who we view as a Texas lean even after a breakout offseason that saw the corner pick up offers from Clemson, LSU, and Alabama.


— As we expected Dallas South Oak Cliff 2023 EDGE Billy Walton decommitted from Oklahoma State earlier tonight and we still love where Texas stands for the 6-foot-2.5, 215-pounder. I talked with a source that believed that even after taking Walton, Texas would still push for commitments for priority targets Braylan Shelby and Colton Vasek who are the two top targets at EDGE.

— I was asked earlier today for updated information on Longview 2023 WR Jalen Hale. Here’s what we gathered from the state 7on7 tournament from College Station.

Hale was pretty direct in stating his top schools at the moment were Georgia, USC, Texas A&M, and Texas in that order. Hale mentioned that Texas getting Arch Manning was a major plus for him because he thought Manning would end up in Athens and he was excited to visit Austin during the fall.

3
COMMENTS
— One name that we’ve been monitoring extremely closely has been Orlando (FL) Edgewater RB Cedric Baxter, the top target on the Texas RB board. We still feel extremely confident about our Texas picks for the elite running back and still maintain that Texas A&M is the only true threat at the moment.

I’ve heard conflicting things from sources on whether Baxter will use his birthday tomorrow (6/28) as a date to announce his decision or whether he’ll just set his commitment date for later on this summer.

 

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62883

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3 hours ago, HtownHorn said:

Yes. Ketch embezzled money from the golf tournament for Cole Pittman to pay off his taxes. Gerry found out about the scam from Sean Allen, and promptly quit Orangebloods. Ketch thinks Gerry is the source of the rumors about the scam making their way onto the internets. It's all documented on shaggybevo in their classic threads. Apparently ketch got wind of the thread and made an appearance threatening to sue blacklab over it.

A rogue handle on Barking Carnival named “Pandora’s Box” released his only post ever to spawn the Ketchum story. Ketchum threatened BC and claimed that he knew for certain that a known CFB Internet anarchist was behind the whole ploy. It bled over to Shaggy. 

I simple stood by and watched in horror.  Poor Ketchum. 

But guess what? That tournament never happened again and those back taxes got paid. 

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