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Texas Recruiting Notes 2023: Strippers, Monkeys, and 5-Stars

Machinator

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Born Burnt
Born Burnt
hornlife
hornlife

49 in Sept.  It sucks - went from jogging and a swimmer to tremors and shakes.  I'm scared to death of fixing a light bulb on a ladder.  I just pray it isn't MS.  Neither have a blood test, it takes t

closetojumping
closetojumping

I know it feels like cool shit is happening, but Surly needs to gear all the fucking way up. Big big things coming. Let’s.Fucking.Go!

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Laga4

Laga4 1270

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3 hours ago, tokamak said:

I'm pretty nervous that our best LT at the time we line up against Anderson is going to be a true freshman summer enrollee making his 2nd ever career start.

 

This is how legends are born. 

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Getafix

Getafix 28619

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Mike at Night: New Crystal Ball pick for priority Texas target, off-season workout note

Mike Roach

(Only Roach can put a CB in for a coveted recruit, and still find a way to harsh my mellow ... sheesh.)

Spoiler

 

Mike at Night: New Crystal Ball pick for priority Texas target, off-season workout note

Mike Roach
 

— After going back and forth on it for the past few weeks, I've decided to enter a Texas Crystal Ball for Dallas South Oak Cliff four-star cornerback Malik Muhammad. I think Texas has been able to make a hard charge for the four-star corner and find themselves surging in the recruitment. With whispers of a decision coming in the next few months, I think Texas is positioning itself well, but my pick confidence is at a 5 for now. Muhammad is down to a Top 3 of Texas, Texas A&M and Alabama, and multiple sources feel it will be the Longhorns battling the Crimson Tide for the DFW prospect. A source I spoke with today feels that if the pick happened today, the Longhorns would come out on top. That said, the Crimson Tide will push incredibly hard and won't let up even if he picks Texas.

— Recruiting has slowed a bit with the dead period in effect and coaches taking a summer vacation before getting ready for fall camp. That said, the buzz on Texas hasn't died. I mentioned it earlier today, but everything we hear on five-star Anthony Hill continues to be positive. Going into his visit, I thought it would take a monster effort to get Texas ahead or even with Texas A&M, and it sounds like that is exactly what happened. I think an important change for Texas this year has been an alteration to the way Steve Sarkisian involves himself in a recruitment. He's always been incredibly hands-on, but last cycle he tried to be that way with every prospect on the board. While he's still involved in every recruitment, he's singled out a few prospects to really throw his time into and Hill is among that group. We were told that Sark really showed that to Hill and his family on the trip. We will see if the momentum holds, but I like the way Texas is trending at this point. I still think Texas A&M is a big threat here and should be considered as such with an official visit coming up. All of the recruiting momentum is great right now, but Texas will have to show results on the field this fall to maintain the buzz they've built.

— I spoke to a few sources about summer workouts and specifically the young offensive line prospects, and I heard some encouraging things. Five-stars Devon Campbell and Kelvin Banks were singled out for the shape they showed up in and how they've adjusted so far. Campbell specifically was praised for his tremendous size and the athleticism he's shown. Campbell's motor, work ethic and speed have been a pleasant surprise even considering the tremendous talent he came in with. I also heard praise for Cam Williams who is re-shaping his body in a major way. We saw Williams while on campus last month and could see the results for ourselves, but the buy-in from Williams was praised by sources I spoke to. I also heard positive things on Neto Umeozulu and Cole Hutson who turned a lot of heads in the spring.

 

 

 

 

 

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62724

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1 hour ago, Duane Moore said:

I guess I totally misread this as a cryptic hint that something big was going to happen today

 

17 minutes ago, Octavian said:

Guess this is who CTJ was referencing

I was being absurd. I don’t normally know any differently than anyone else here about when someone is going public, so I’ll argue it’s a rarity that I try to say as much. When someone has otherwise made it clear and then going public is a formality? Plenty often. 

That considered, I’ve been driving an SUV with 4 lunatic kids from Houston to Memphis to St. Louis to Kansas City to Vail and now today to Mt. Rushmore. I haven’t talked to anyone in a while and have merely watched this thread collapse into a pile of incoherent sadness. 

I still think Mohammed and Gulette are an any moment kind of thing unless something wacky happened after last Tuesday. 

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Vertigo

Vertigo 20285

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8 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

 

I was being absurd. I don’t normally know any differently than anyone else here about when someone is going public, so I’ll argue it’s a rarity that I try to say as much. When someone has otherwise made it clear and then going public is a formality? Plenty often. 

That considered, I’ve been driving an SUV with 4 lunatic kids from Houston to Memphis to St. Louis to Kansas City to Vail and now today to Mt. Rushmore. I haven’t talked to anyone in a while and have merely watched this thread collapse into a pile of incoherent sadness. 

I still think Mohammed and Gulette are an any moment kind of thing unless something wacky happened after last Tuesday. 

If aggy slides back into Muhammed's Dms because you were picking through monogramed plastic keychains of poorly drawn dinosaurs so help me you will rue the day!

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Grimas

Grimas 669

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

 

I was being absurd. I don’t normally know any differently than anyone else here about when someone is going public, so I’ll argue it’s a rarity that I try to say as much. When someone has otherwise made it clear and then going public is a formality? Plenty often. 

That considered, I’ve been driving an SUV with 4 lunatic kids from Houston to Memphis to St. Louis to Kansas City to Vail and now today to Mt. Rushmore. I haven’t talked to anyone in a while and have merely watched this thread collapse into a pile of incoherent sadness. 

I still think Mohammed and Gulette are an any moment kind of thing unless something wacky happened after last Tuesday. 

User name fits after that drive...

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JesusSweatDuck

JesusSweatDuck 17781

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

 

I was being absurd. I don’t normally know any differently than anyone else here about when someone is going public, so I’ll argue it’s a rarity that I try to say as much. When someone has otherwise made it clear and then going public is a formality? Plenty often. 

That considered, I’ve been driving an SUV with 4 lunatic kids from Houston to Memphis to St. Louis to Kansas City to Vail and now today to Mt. Rushmore. I haven’t talked to anyone in a while and have merely watched this thread collapse into a pile of incoherent sadness. 

I still think Mohammed and Gulette are an any moment kind of thing unless something wacky happened after last Tuesday. 

Only the poors make that drive. I thought you were in hydraulics 

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Fletch

Fletch 5800

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4 minutes ago, totallynotabuttpirate said:

I’m drunk as shit celebrating my anniversary with the wife and I just want to say fuck all you miserable cunts and I hate checking this forum 100 times a day. 
 

 

life is good…

Which wife?

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DanTheHorn

DanTheHorn 4925

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14 minutes ago, totallynotabuttpirate said:

I’m drunk as shit celebrating my anniversary with the wife and I just want to say fuck all you miserable cunts and I hate checking this forum 100 times a day. 
 

 

life is good…

young-couple-bed-unsatisfied-wife-bored-

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Burt Macklin

Burt Macklin 19024

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

That considered, I’ve been driving an SUV with 4 lunatic kids from Houston to Memphis to St. Louis to Kansas City to Vail and now today to Mt. Rushmore. I haven’t talked to anyone in a while and have merely watched this thread collapse into a pile of incoherent sadness. 

Sounds like you must be more miserable than a foodie at an aggy recruiting event. 

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Johnny Sack

Johnny Sack 8397

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

 

That considered, I’ve been driving an SUV with 4 lunatic kids from Houston to Memphis to St. Louis to Kansas City to Vail and now today to Mt. Rushmore. I haven’t talked to anyone in a while and have merely watched this thread collapse into a pile of incoherent sadness. 

spacer.png

We drive to Colorado every summer.

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62724

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2 hours ago, Grimas said:

User name fits after that drive...

 

1 hour ago, Burt Macklin said:

Sounds like you must be more miserable than a foodie at an aggy recruiting event. 

Hahahaha. We used to go to Europe in the summer for a big trip. Couldn’t in 2020 and did a great tour of the American southwest instead, in our suv. We didn’t even shave the roof off going under a low bridge or anything. It was awesome. So now we do this every summer across America somewhere and Europe after Christmas. The kids have ipads and phones and movies to deal with and hardly ever whine except when hungry or needing to pee. 

Next year we’re flying in to Portland, ME and doing 3 weeks around New England and Montreal. You guys don’t know what you’re missing. 

2 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Only the poors make that drive. I thought you were in hydraulics 

Given the turbulence of the industry of my day job this year, I fucking wish I was in hydraulics. 

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Sandbagging Steve

Sandbagging Steve 982

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12 hours ago, tokamak said:

I'm pretty nervous that our best LT at the time we line up against Anderson is going to be a true freshman summer enrollee making his 2nd ever career start.

Then again, we can't do much worse than just kinda meekly falling over like Jones does in that clip.

We are going to line up with 2 tight ends and run it right at him with our Heisman Trophy running back, and then throw right over the top in play action. 

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18549

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6 hours ago, closetojumping said:

 

Hahahaha. We used to go to Europe in the summer for a big trip. Couldn’t in 2020 and did a great tour of the American southwest instead, in our suv. We didn’t even shave the roof off going under a low bridge or anything. It was awesome. So now we do this every summer across America somewhere and Europe after Christmas. The kids have ipads and phones and movies to deal with and hardly ever whine except when hungry or needing to pee. 

Next year we’re flying in to Portland, ME and doing 3 weeks around New England and Montreal. You guys don’t know what you’re missing. 

Given the turbulence of the industry of my day job this year, I fucking wish I was in hydraulics. 

Sex tent or gtfo. 

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Eggo

Eggo 3977

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10 hours ago, closetojumping said:

 

That considered, I’ve been driving an SUV with 4 lunatic kids from Houston to Memphis to St. Louis to Kansas City to Vail and now today to Mt. Rushmore.

Weird bbq tour but ok

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AbraCadabra

AbraCadabra 120

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10 hours ago, closetojumping said:

That considered, I’ve been driving an SUV with 4 lunatic kids from Houston to Memphis to St. Louis to Kansas City to Vail and now today to Mt. Rushmore.

So dropping bags and training the kids.. Houston is Pettaway right.. might want to grab that one back on your way home

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texifornia

texifornia 56961

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7 hours ago, closetojumping said:

 

Hahahaha. We used to go to Europe in the summer for a big trip. Couldn’t in 2020 and did a great tour of the American southwest instead, in our suv. We didn’t even shave the roof off going under a low bridge or anything. It was awesome. So now we do this every summer across America somewhere and Europe after Christmas. The kids have ipads and phones and movies to deal with and hardly ever whine except when hungry or needing to pee. 

Next year we’re flying in to Portland, ME and doing 3 weeks around New England and Montreal. You guys don’t know what you’re missing. 

Given the turbulence of the industry of my day job this year, I fucking wish I was in hydraulics. 

Montreal kicks so much ass. Top 3 North American city.

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