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Texas Recruiting Notes 2023: Strippers, Monkeys, and 5-Stars

Machinator

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Born Burnt
Born Burnt
hornlife
hornlife

49 in Sept.  It sucks - went from jogging and a swimmer to tremors and shakes.  I'm scared to death of fixing a light bulb on a ladder.  I just pray it isn't MS.  Neither have a blood test, it takes t

closetojumping
closetojumping

I know it feels like cool shit is happening, but Surly needs to gear all the fucking way up. Big big things coming. Let’s.Fucking.Go!

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TexasEx

TexasEx 1667

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1 hour ago, honolulu horn said:

A few quick thoughts after catching up on this thread:

1. It's clear who has their NIL game on point, just as CTJ outlined. Miami is a big player this recruiting season, and it's not just because of Cristobal. Damn it feels good to be a gangster. 

2. Simms routinely beat the hell out of aggy and seriously destroyed LSU, so he's cool with me. 

3. Love Shelby's middle finger to aggy. 

4. Cromartie fits in well with those morons. A thousand kids and a classy tweet filled with f-bombs and thinly veiled criticism of a recruit. Perfect match. 

5. Fuck ou. 

I agree with these takes. 

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Vermin

Vermin 3049

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27 minutes ago, Longhornlove said:

At least one of Cramartie's  kids go to school in my kid's school district. His baby mama made a major fiasco opening day of school last year  out of the family Lamborghini.  Not sure about him but at least one of his baby mamas  is bat shit crazy.

🎶 Eighteen years, eighteen years 🎶
🎶 She got one of your kids, got you for eighteen years 🎶
🎶 I know somebody payin' child support for one of his kids 🎶
🎶 His baby mama car and crib is bigger than his 🎶
🎶 You will see him on TV any given Sunday 🎶
🎶 Win the Super Bowl and drive off in a Hyundai 🎶

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Napoleon

Napoleon 8689

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image.jpeg.6d4524dfadc30bc94bc174571b6c94b6.jpeg
 

2 hours ago, Reese Bennett said:

…I'm a grown man and I can do this.

4, 1, 5, 6, 2, 3

See, I think that the young lady with soft skin and pigment would be my #1, so it goes a little like…

1 , 2 , X , X , 3 , X (but 4 if I had to)

These girl were made by a printer starting on the left and working right. By the time that the far right girl was being printed, the cartridge was clean out of toner.
 

 

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Vito Andolini

Vito Andolini 9126

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Remind me to never chase tail with Reese Bennett*. Napoleon is pretty much on the money, as Far Left is (for me) the only legit choice. After the winner, L-R, meh, worse than meh, then (as mentioned upthread) Listeater Jr., then you have Malachai’s pale sisters from Children of the Corn (did he have sisters? I don’t know, they just seem Courtney Gaines-ish).

*My tail chasing days are over, married and old. But we can dream…

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Eggo

Eggo 3977

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8 hours ago, Newy25 said:

I guess I should be thankful I was six months into my first job out of college as a lowly investment banking analyst and I was working during that game and did not even know we lost to CU until the next day. 

How do you know if someone is an investment banker? 

They'll tell you. 

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Newy25

Newy25 7692

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38 minutes ago, Eggo said:

How do you know if someone is an investment banker? 

They'll tell you. 


I was trying to put some context as to why I was working late on a Saturday night and not watching Texas football. It’s not an excuse but a reason. Missing that game was the only positive memory I have from that time period. 

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BurntOrange&White

BurntOrange&White 39934

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Texas Longhorns Big Board (July 14)

Gerry Hamilton•about 1 hour

Article written by:Gerry Hamilton

GHamilton_On3

Malik Muhammad (EJ Holland/On3)

The Texas Longhorns continued to hold down the No. 4 spot in the On3 Consensus team rankings with a number of prospects expected to decide in July or early August.

With more than a dozen top targets remaining on the board, Steve Sarkisian and staff have the opportunity to make a run at the top class in the 2023 cycle. And more national targets are emerging to provide a wider net of possibilities.

Inside Texas takes a look at where the Longhorns stand with the known targets, with the understanding that new targets may emerge this season. The status of several prospects below could still change multiple times. Such is the nature of recruiting.

A lot of where we put a recruit is based on intel, but it can also come down to feel.

NOTE: Where there is new information on a target, we will denote that with words “NEW INTEL” by that recruits name.

***Trending Up***

LB Anthony Hill, Denton (Texas) Ryan
The Longhorns have continued to make headway with the On3 Consensus five-star linebacker following his June 24 official visit. A very key visit to Texas A&M on the last weekend in July looms large with a decision possible prior to the start of Hill’s senior season.

CB Malik Muhammad, Dallas (Texas) South Oak Cliff
The On3 Consensus four-star will announce his decision July 20 with the Longhorns trending over Alabama, and possibly Texas A&M. Texas has been considered the favorite since the June official visit.

EDGE/LB Derion Gullette, Teague (Texas)
The Longhorns have continued to trend positively for the On3 Consensus four-star since the June official visit. The 6-foot-3, 228-pounder is set to release a top 3 with Texas, Texas A&M and Ohio State expected to be the trio.

RB Cedric Baxter Jr., Orlando (Fla.) Edgewater
Nothing has changed with On3’s No. 1 running back in the 2023 cycle. Texas remains the heavy favorite in the On3 Recruiting Prediction Machine ahead of an August 10 announcement.

CB Jordan Matthews, Baton Rouge (La.) Woodlawn
Texas and Alabama remain expected to receive fall official visits. The fast-rising corner is scheduled to be in Austin the last weekend of July.

WR Jalen Hale, Longview (Texas) – Added to trending up
Hale has a top 3 of Texas, Alabama and Georgia with a commitment date set for September 7. There is some chatter on the Alabama side that Nick Saban would accept a commitment from the On3 Consensus 4-star, but that is not an Inside Texas report.

***Worth watching***

CB Javien Toviano, Arlington (Texas) Martin
Toviano is entertaining some blue bloods nationally, but is expected to ultimately come down to Texas and Texas A&M. Texas has made headway since the Arch Manning commitment for sure, but there is plenty of work to be done.

WR Mikal Harrison-Pilot, Temple (Texas)
The Longhorns continue to be in the mix for the On3 Consensus four-star. The timeline is something to follow in this recruitment.

EDGE Braylan Shelby, Friendswood (Texas)
Shelby announced a final two of Texas and USC Wednesday. A late July or early August decision remains likely for the 6-foot-5, 235-pound edge rush prospect.

EDGE Colton Vasek, Austin (Texas) Westlake
This one is pretty simple. Does the 6-foot-5, 235-pound technically-ound prospect want to get away from Austin for college and play for Oregon? That’s the question to be answered in the next couple of weeks.

TE Duce Robinson, Phoenix (Ariz.) Pinnacle
Robinson will make an official visit September 10. Texas, Alabama and Georgia are trying to upset favorite USC.

DL David Hicks, Katy (Texas) Paetow
The On3-Consensus five-star continues to have increased communication with the Texas staff since June 23 at 11:16 a.m. Hicks is scheduled to be at Oklahoma the last weekend in July. There is a top seven, but IT is paying attention to Texas A&M, Oklahoma and Texas. The timeline continues to be first week in January of 2023.

DL Markis Deal, Garland (Texas) Naaman Forest
Deal will be in Austin the last weekend of July. TCU, Arkansas, and USC received summer official visits. Georgia and Auburn received June unofficial visits. Should Deal stick to his fall timeline, official visits to Texas and Georgia are expected.

DL Jamarious Brown, Moss Point (Miss.)
Texas covets the On300 No. 145-ranked defensive lineman. The 6-foot-3, 270-pounder is scheduled to be in Austin the last weekend of July. Alabama and Ole Miss are considered the main competition.

EDGE Tausili Akana, Lehi (Utah) Skyridge
Texas and Akana continue to be a possibility. Oklahoma is scheduled to have the On3 Consensus four-star on campus to end July. LSU is also very much in the mix.

***Trending down***

WR Jaden Greathouse, Austin (Texas) Westlake
The physical playmaker will announce his decision on July 15 with Notre Dame considered the favorite over Texas. He’s been on Texas’ campus plenty, and the Texas staff is giving it the best run possible.

DL Hunter Osborne, Trussville (Ala.) Hewitt-Trussville – NEW INTEL
The On3 Consensus four-star has engaged with near zero communication with Texas on his own. The last conversation Texas had with Osborne was through the family. Texas is not expected to be the choice on this one barring a significant change. Tennessee is considered the likely destination if Alabama passes.

S Caleb Downs, Hoschton (Ga.) Mill Creek
Downs is still considering making an unofficial visit to Texas to end July, but nothing is set up at this time. There have been multiple conversations and Zoom calls with the Texas staff.

***To be determined***

OT Miles McVay, East St. Louis (Ill.)
The On3 Consensus four-star is scheduled to be in Austin during the last weekend of July. With an August 11 commitment date set, Texas has to make a huge impression to knock off Alabama and others.

EDGE Damon Wilson, Venice (Fla.) High
Wilson included Texas in a top 5 Wednesday night along with Alabama, Georgia, Miami and Ohio State. Texas offered the prospect headed for 5-star status in January of 2022. With four official visits remaining, there is a good chance the 6-foot-3, 234-pounder will appear in Austin this fall.

DL Jordan Hall, Jacksonville (Fla.) Westside
Texas offered the No. 46 ranked prospect in the On300 Sunday, and are in line for a visit in the fall. Georgia has been mentioned as the team to beat over Florida, Florida State and others in recent weeks.

IOL Vysen Lang, Pike Road (Ala.)
Lang quietly had a tremendous three-day unofficial visit in June. The Longhorns are in the top 6 along with Arkansas, Auburn, Tennessee, LSU and Georgia.

DL TaDerius Collins, Shreveport (La.) Woodlawn
Texas has real interest in the Pelican State upside prospect. Baylor and TCU would welcome him in their classes. Collins will be in Austin the last weekend in July.

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Eggo

Eggo 3977

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3 minutes ago, Newy25 said:


I was trying to put some context as to why I was working late on a Saturday night and not watching Texas football. It’s not an excuse but a reason. Missing that game was the only positive memory I have from that time period. 

Let me guess: Your boy calls you and says "Hey, Newy, man! How ya been? We never see you anymore. Anyway, we're hitting up Dorsia tonight. Reynolds has an in with the host and got us a table. You in?" and you said "Sorry, bro. VP is riding my ass to get these slide deck out revisions out. Said he needs it yesterday." and your bro said "You've changed, Newy. All you care about is your stupid job now." and hangs up. But you didn't even hear his words because all you hear is "Plzfixplzfixplzfixplzfix" over and over. You wake up the next day to hear the Horns lost, but you can't process what it means because you unconsciously put on your suit that's growing increasingly tighter around your midwaist and trudge back into the office for another delightful day of #REF errors. 

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Not a Sock

Not a Sock 2313

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1 hour ago, Newy25 said:


You haven’t read all of the books? 

Well we know CTJ has at least seen the show. Because one of my favorite surly moments is when some lunatic followed CTJ from the TV board and went on a rant about Danny burning Kings Landing which lead to a Tom Herman recruiting thread debating the effectiveness of strategic fire bombing campaigns.

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Laga4

Laga4 1270

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8 hours ago, Longhornlove said:

At least one of Cramartie's  kids go to school in my kid's school district. His baby mama made a major fiasco opening day of school last year  out of the family Lamborghini.  Not sure about him but at least one of his baby mamas  is bat shit crazy.

This is shocking news.

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satyanash

satyanash 14529

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12 hours ago, Hank Chinaski said:

Yes.

VY is the best college football player of the last 40 years, and Texas was the best team in CFB in 2008 and got royally fucked out of the title game are two things I will go to my grave believing.

Here's a hotter take; Bradford was unbelievably overrated and was not even close to being the best player in CFB in 2008. His entire highlight reel from that year was just him standing in the pocket for ten seconds and playing pitch-and-catch with wide open receivers, or dumping the ball off to Ryan Broyles and Manuel Johnson on tunnel screens. While McCoy led Texas in rushing yards, Bradford had the luxury of chilling behind the best O-line in CFB and handing the ball off to not one, but two 1,000-yard rushers. He was just a system QB with a much, much better supporting cast. His "Heisman moment" from that year was getting cartwheeled by an OSU defender out-of-bounds on the pathetically slowest scramble I've ever seen.

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 48110

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Posted (edited)
25 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

RW was great in that game, but Simms had an excellent game after the first quarter. You’re grinding a bizarre axe on this one. 

Considering the poster in question, I believe you meant to say he's grinding his axe wound. 

 

Edited by SydneyCarton
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Hank Chinaski

Hank Chinaski 6315

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8 minutes ago, texifornia said:

The way this board relives horrifying previous losses in forensic detail over 50 posts and mentions big wins with an "oh yeah, that was cool" is a real psychological tragedy.

It’s why I don’t gamble - I could win thousands and it wouldn’t get me that excited, but if I lose $20 I’m apoplectic. 

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18550

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50 minutes ago, satyanash said:

Here's a hotter take; Bradford was unbelievably overrated and was not even close to being the best player in CFB in 2008. His entire highlight reel from that year was just him standing in the pocket for ten seconds and playing pitch-and-catch with wide open receivers, or dumping the ball off to Ryan Broyles and Manuel Johnson on tunnel screens. While McCoy led Texas in rushing yards, Bradford had the luxury of chilling behind the best O-line in CFB and handing the ball off to not one, but two 1,000-yard rushers. He was just a system QB with a much, much better supporting cast. His "Heisman moment" from that year was getting cartwheeled by an OSU defender out-of-bounds on the pathetically slowest scramble I've ever seen.

We did this thread on Shaggy years ago. It was called Sam Bradford seems like he sucks. Reading that thread was like pouring bleach into your eyes.

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