Texas Recruiting Notes 2023: Strippers, Monkeys, and 5-Stars

[MAUFRAIS 6629]

“Holy fuck! They beat USC again!”

[BornAndRaised 12282]

4 minutes ago, MAUFRAIS said:

“Holy fuck! They beat USC again!”

"how many years has that Vince Young guy been in college?"

[honolulu horn 6158]

5 minutes ago, FWD said:

Looking forward to the meltdown when a kid literally nobody on earth heard of a week ago doesn't end up coming here.

My absolute favorite part of Surly. 

[Tree Fidy 1174]

42 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

or somehow he gets LHN and he only sees us win.

During Covid I lived on LHN and YouTube (self-selecting the games I watched).  Like a decade+ ago, I was happy again.

[Bevo14 8311]

1 hour ago, BornAndRaised said:

I know, I know. I'm pumping sunshine here. However, he did say "you see them on TV a lot," so maybe he was only awake for kickoffs?

He only caught the Rice games

[Ignatius 4017]

4 hours ago, Red Five said:

Years ago there was an OL for a Louisiana directional school who was 6'11" 400 lbs. Don't remember the name, just the size because it was hilarious. Wonder if it's the same guy. 

Don’t ask me man; all 6’11”, 400 lb black men I see in person in New Orleans all look the same to me….

[Elmer_Fudd 22221]

Well that didn't take long

 

[LebongJames 1811]

5 minutes ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

Well that didn't take long

 

Fucking Twitter users ruined this for Texas

[Dbeasy 15051]

1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

The guy who said in his quote that Texas is always winning? Well ok, buddy. 

60% of the time Texas wins every time. 

[Hookem2147 21274]

If Bo was actually a good recruiter he would have told Jonathan Davis to not tweet out his offer which allowed other twitters users to take him away from Texas.

Choate has taken over as #1 recruiter until further notice.

Edited January 23, 2023 by Hookem2147

[closetojumping 62720]

1 hour ago, MuellerHorn said:

Yeah, this. Plus, he's newer to football and from a small town in Mississippi. I'm not sure he'll be all that aware of a lot of the nuance and differences in schools or programs.

My oldest daughter went into the Teach For America program upon graduating from college. When she applied, she chose "place of highest need" rather than a specific city. She assumed they'd send her to inner city Chicago, LA, Houston, NYC, whatever. She'd get to see some shit or be home while she was doing her time in the program. 

Instead of the inner city, they sent her to a very small town in the Mississippi delta. She taught 3rd graders and all students in MS have to pass the reading portion of their state standardized tests in 3rd grade. The elementary school had one white kid in it and a few asians and hispanics. The private school down the road would accept white kids for as little as a $5 donation if they were needs based. That school was all white, as they hadn't found a price high enough yet in order for it to make sense to enroll a non-caucasian. 

Segregation is still alive and well in that state. It seemed to me that black folks were fucked for life in that place. She had multiple teenagers in her class each year because they couldn't pass the test. She got stabbed. She and her students saw one classmate's dad murder another classmate's dad in front of the school one day over a drug deal gone bad. There were fistfights in her class that she was forbidden from breaking up at least weekly. 

Point is, small-town Mississippi is a hell of a thing. Many of these kids are fucked from day one and they've got very little exposure to much beyond walking distance. An in-state offer seems like the kind of thing that could be a really big deal. If he's flying to Austin this weekend, it might flat out blow his mind. I'm interested in seeing how it shakes out, but I'm not sanguine about things now that the idiots in Starkville have shown up. I am also curious about this dude's transcripts. 

 

[ClubWhatever 12144]

2 hours ago, Lonestar88 said:

So did Mississippi State bother to scout this kid at all before Bo Davis offered him? He’s in their backyard, they had all year to show interest in him.

Feels like they saw the Texas offer and just reacted.

Why would you think it was anything else?  This kid would be all set to sign with Tim Beck if we hadn’t offered.  

[Vertigo 20285]

31 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

My oldest daughter went into the Teach For America program upon graduating from college. When she applied, she chose "place of highest need" rather than a specific city. She assumed they'd send her to inner city Chicago, LA, Houston, NYC, whatever. She'd get to see some shit or be home while she was doing her time in the program. 

Instead of the inner city, they sent her to a very small town in the Mississippi delta. She taught 3rd graders and all students in MS have to pass the reading portion of their state standardized tests in 3rd grade. The elementary school had one white kid in it and a few asians and hispanics. The private school down the road would accept white kids for as little as a $5 donation if they were needs based. That school was all white, as they hadn't found a price high enough yet in order for it to make sense to enroll a non-caucasian. 

Segregation is still alive and well in that state. It seemed to me that black folks were fucked for life in that place. She had multiple teenagers in her class each year because they couldn't pass the test. She got stabbed. She and her students saw one classmate's dad murder another classmate's dad in front of the school one day over a drug deal gone bad. There were fistfights in her class that she was forbidden from breaking up at least weekly. 

Point is, small-town Mississippi is a hell of a thing. Many of these kids are fucked from day one and they've got very little exposure to much beyond walking distance. An in-state offer seems like the kind of thing that could be a really big deal. If he's flying to Austin this weekend, it might flat out blow his mind. I'm interested in seeing how it shakes out, but I'm not sanguine about things now that the idiots in Starkville have shown up. I am also curious about this dude's transcripts. 

 

I believe that Gerry mentioned at one point that Texas was staying close to his transcripts and may not have been 100% sure he could get in. They mentioned he had some JUCO offers. He would likely have a much easier time getting in at MSU. No standardized testing scores this year was going to benefit him. 

Edited January 23, 2023 by Vertigo

[NorLa Horns 1458]

7 hours ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

What the fuck is that?

[Vertigo 20285]

1 minute ago, NorLa Horns said:

What the fuck is that?

Real housewives of Maui.

[Shaddie 1651]

2 hours ago, HtownHorn said:

why are we worried, just gray shirt him, problem solved?

Duh. Nike refused to make a 14XL jersey and Adidas is so desperate they agreed.  

[closetojumping 62720]

2 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

I believe that Gerry mentioned at one point that Texas was staying close to his transcripts and may not have been 100% sure he could get in. They mentioned he had some JUCO offers. He would likely have a much easier time getting in at MSU. No standardized testing scores this year was going to benefit him. 

This made me laugh out loud. Awesome. I would assume a MSU degree is actually worse than one from LSU, which has more value as toilet paper than behind a frame. So, if there's a bottom out there, MSU has to be close to finding it when it comes to college quality.

[MuellerHorn 4235]

51 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

This made me laugh out loud. Awesome. I would assume a MSU degree is actually worse than one from LSU, which has more value as toilet paper than behind a frame. So, if there's a bottom out there, MSU has to be close to finding it when it comes to college quality.

I would have never guessed that LSU and MSU have lower acceptance rates than Ole Miss.

Edited January 24, 2023 by MuellerHorn

[BornAndRaised 12282]

Before I post this, I would just like to say that as soon as they're on campus, rankings don't fucking matter. However, this is Surly, and this is the recruiting thread. So I provide ESPN final rankings update for us to commiserate about.

[Burt Macklin 19024]

7 hours ago, TheMailBox357 said:

TFB seem to be the least accurate of the UT $9.95ers. I always roll my eyes when they report something new that other UT $9.95ers haven't reported.

Yeah, like when they were the only ones saying we were going to hire Sark. What a bunch of idiots. Everyone knows you have to listen to the OB modcast nightly if you want to be informed like Mailbox 357. 

 

[Sabalo 994]

1 hour ago, NorLa Horns said:

What the fuck is that?

Rainbow Warrior?

[FORTY NINE TO ZERO 2652]

1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

My oldest daughter went into the Teach For America program upon graduating from college. When she applied, she chose "place of highest need" rather than a specific city. She assumed they'd send her to inner city Chicago, LA, Houston, NYC, whatever. She'd get to see some shit or be home while she was doing her time in the program. 

Instead of the inner city, they sent her to a very small town in the Mississippi delta. She taught 3rd graders and all students in MS have to pass the reading portion of their state standardized tests in 3rd grade. The elementary school had one white kid in it and a few asians and hispanics. The private school down the road would accept white kids for as little as a $5 donation if they were needs based. That school was all white, as they hadn't found a price high enough yet in order for it to make sense to enroll a non-caucasian. 

Segregation is still alive and well in that state. It seemed to me that black folks were fucked for life in that place. She had multiple teenagers in her class each year because they couldn't pass the test. She got stabbed. She and her students saw one classmate's dad murder another classmate's dad in front of the school one day over a drug deal gone bad. There were fistfights in her class that she was forbidden from breaking up at least weekly. 

Point is, small-town Mississippi is a hell of a thing. Many of these kids are fucked from day one and they've got very little exposure to much beyond walking distance. An in-state offer seems like the kind of thing that could be a really big deal. If he's flying to Austin this weekend, it might flat out blow his mind. I'm interested in seeing how it shakes out, but I'm not sanguine about things now that the idiots in Starkville have shown up. I am also curious about this dude's transcripts. 

 

This, best thing to happen to that kid and his family would for him to leave that shitty state.  I just googled the small town he lives in.  It’s horrible.

[Dbeasy 15051]

33 minutes ago, MuellerHorn said:

I would have never guessed that LSU and MSU have lower acceptance rates than Ole Miss.

When over half your applicants can’t read or write the application, what choice is there but to reject a few of them. 

[SimkinsMan 4387]

2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

My oldest daughter went into the Teach For America program upon graduating from college. When she applied, she chose "place of highest need" rather than a specific city. She assumed they'd send her to inner city Chicago, LA, Houston, NYC, whatever. She'd get to see some shit or be home while she was doing her time in the program. 

Instead of the inner city, they sent her to a very small town in the Mississippi delta. She taught 3rd graders and all students in MS have to pass the reading portion of their state standardized tests in 3rd grade. The elementary school had one white kid in it and a few asians and hispanics. The private school down the road would accept white kids for as little as a $5 donation if they were needs based. That school was all white, as they hadn't found a price high enough yet in order for it to make sense to enroll a non-caucasian. 

Segregation is still alive and well in that state. It seemed to me that black folks were fucked for life in that place. She had multiple teenagers in her class each year because they couldn't pass the test. She got stabbed. She and her students saw one classmate's dad murder another classmate's dad in front of the school one day over a drug deal gone bad. There were fistfights in her class that she was forbidden from breaking up at least weekly. 

Point is, small-town Mississippi is a hell of a thing. Many of these kids are fucked from day one and they've got very little exposure to much beyond walking distance. An in-state offer seems like the kind of thing that could be a really big deal. If he's flying to Austin this weekend, it might flat out blow his mind. I'm interested in seeing how it shakes out, but I'm not sanguine about things now that the idiots in Starkville have shown up. I am also curious about this dude's transcripts. 

 

https://features.apmreports.org/in-the-dark/season-two/#:~:text=SEASON TWO,as hard to execute him.

"In this season, we investigate the case of Curtis Flowers, a Black man from Winona, Mississippi, who was tried six times for the same crime. Flowers spent more than 20 years fighting for his life while a white prosecutor spent that same time trying just as hard to execute him."

A crime which, by the way, the guy did not do. A good look into small town Mississippi for anyone interested.

[texifornia 56959]

37 minutes ago, MuellerHorn said:

I would have never guessed that LSU and MSU have lower acceptance rates than Ole Miss.

I would guess those schools having engineering and competitive vet/ag programs natually skews it. Harder baseline than humanities programs.

[Hornlover 8830]

16 minutes ago, FORTY NINE TO ZERO said:

This, best thing to happen to that kid and his family would for him to leave that shitty state.  I just googled the small town he lives in.  It’s horrible.

You needed Google to tell you that a small town in Mississippi is a shit hole?

The whole state is depressingly bad. USNews has them with an overall rank of #49 (only ahead of Louisiana). 

https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/rankings

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

What the fuck is that?

His name is Turbo, but I thought he died recently and was more of a dancer.

[BurntOrange&White 39932]

50 minutes ago, Burt Macklin said:

Yeah, like when they were the only ones saying we were going to hire Sark. What a bunch of idiots. Everyone knows you have to listen to the OB modcast nightly if you want to be informed like Mailbox 357. 

 

TFB was pretty spot on with the assistant hires as well?

Edited January 24, 2023 by BurntOrange&White

[Sgt Hulk 13716]

8 hours ago, hookemATL said:

Largest human I have ever seen in person.  A literal mountain of a man.

Played against him in middle school basketball and football wortham was so small he played in our bball league. He was over 6 foot in 6th grade parents were demanding his birth cert.  I didn’t even waste my time jumping for the ball to start the match and football was just stupid he ate everyone up lol 

[Duane Moore 5237]

2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

My oldest daughter went into the Teach For America program upon graduating from college. When she applied, she chose "place of highest need" rather than a specific city. She assumed they'd send her to inner city Chicago, LA, Houston, NYC, whatever. She'd get to see some shit or be home while she was doing her time in the program. 

Instead of the inner city, they sent her to a very small town in the Mississippi delta. She taught 3rd graders and all students in MS have to pass the reading portion of their state standardized tests in 3rd grade. The elementary school had one white kid in it and a few asians and hispanics. The private school down the road would accept white kids for as little as a $5 donation if they were needs based. That school was all white, as they hadn't found a price high enough yet in order for it to make sense to enroll a non-caucasian. 

Segregation is still alive and well in that state. It seemed to me that black folks were fucked for life in that place. She had multiple teenagers in her class each year because they couldn't pass the test. She got stabbed. She and her students saw one classmate's dad murder another classmate's dad in front of the school one day over a drug deal gone bad. There were fistfights in her class that she was forbidden from breaking up at least weekly. 

Point is, small-town Mississippi is a hell of a thing. Many of these kids are fucked from day one and they've got very little exposure to much beyond walking distance. An in-state offer seems like the kind of thing that could be a really big deal. If he's flying to Austin this weekend, it might flat out blow his mind. I'm interested in seeing how it shakes out, but I'm not sanguine about things now that the idiots in Starkville have shown up. I am also curious about this dude's transcripts. 

 

I think the only solution is for you to have him come live with your family and your daughter can come back to tutor him until he can get his grades up to qualify at UT. 
 

[Napoleon 8679]

10 hours ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

 

2 hours ago, NorLa Horns said:

What the fuck is that?

 

41 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

His name is Turbo ❌, but I thought he died recently and was more of a dancer.

EL DEBARGE

 

[Horn117 648]

2 hours ago, NorLa Horns said:

What the fuck is that?

 

[closetojumping 62720]

25 minutes ago, Duane Moore said:

I think the only solution is for you to have him come live with your family and your daughter can come back to tutor him until he can get his grades up to qualify at UT. 
 

My daughter is living her own absurd real life fairy tale. She’s retired from having to work ever again. As a result, she’s no longer available for tutoring. Her story would actually rival or beat Oher’s, frankly. 

[irishtexan 11519]

My daughter is living her own absurd real life fairy tale. She’s retired from having to work ever again. As a result, she’s no longer available for tutoring. Her story would actually rival or beat Oher’s, frankly. 

Pics?

[El Compadre 767]

30 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

My daughter is living her own absurd real life fairy tale. She’s retired from having to work ever again. As a result, she’s no longer available for tutoring. Her story would actually rival or beat Oher’s, frankly. 

 That's fucking awesome. We give each other shit on here constantly, but all or most of us have kids. A dad's biggest wish is for their kids to have a better life than they had. Congrats to you and your daughter.

Also good on you for giving her only name brand cereal growing up.

[Napoleon 8679]

34 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

My daughter is living her own absurd real life fairy tale. She’s retired from having to work ever again. As a result, she’s no longer available for tutoring. Her story would actually rival or beat Oher’s, frankly. 

 

7 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

Pics?

[Not a Sock 2313]

Getting stabbed and being witness to a homicide would have me trying to retire early too.

[El Compadre 767]

5 minutes ago, Not a Sock said:

Getting stabbed and being witness to a homicide would have me trying to retire early too.

Teaching is no joke. I've caught kids snorting coke off the restroom sink, sparking j's in same restroom (my classroom is right across from said restroom)vapes all over the place, and social media... Fuck. And that's just middle school. These idiots would be like how do you know it's weed? Bitch please, jester east motherfucker!

Edited January 24, 2023 by El Compadre

[Bevo 13577]

35 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

My daughter is living her own absurd real life fairy tale. She’s retired from having to work ever again. As a result, she’s no longer available for tutoring. Her story would actually rival or beat Oher’s, frankly. 

Sounds like she married a prince. Hopefully it wasn't Dorbah (unless he was given a sweet castle in Tempe).

[Not a Sock 2313]

11 minutes ago, El Compadre said:

Teaching is no joke. I've caught kids snorting coke off the restroom sink, sparking j's in same restroom (my classroom is right across from said restroom)vapes all over the place, and social media... Fuck. And that's just middle school. These idiots would be like how do you know it's weed? Bitch please, jester east motherfucker!

In middle school a kid fell out of the drop ceiling on to my English teachers desk in the middle of class, turns out the drug dogs had showed up and he threw his baggy in the ceiling in the bathroom next door and fell through trying to get it back later. Then there was the infamous emo girl chicken burger incident.

Edited January 24, 2023 by Not a Sock

[OB3 3620]

Gerry put a 95% RPM for Jonathan Davis to Miss State

Not visiting Texas anymore and Bo isn’t going by the school either

Edited January 24, 2023 by OB3

[HtownHorn 14681]

Texas brought in a JUCO DT and EDGE for unofficial visits this past weekend.

[BurntOrange&White 39932]

1 minute ago, HtownHorn said:

Texas brought in a JUCO DT and EDGE for unofficial visits this past weekend.

edge

[Hank Scorpio 17729]

33 minutes ago, El Compadre said:

Teaching is no joke. I've caught kids snorting coke off the restroom sink, sparking j's in same restroom (my classroom is right across from said restroom)vapes all over the place, and social media... Fuck. And that's just middle school. These idiots would be like how do you know it's weed? Bitch please, jester east motherfucker!

Those kids sound cool as hell. 

[Austin 39]

4 hours ago, NorLa Horns said:

What the fuck is that?

Next A&M legend+hope at QB?

[conVINCEd 21469]

18 minutes ago, El Compadre said:

Teaching is no joke. I've caught kids snorting coke off the restroom sink, sparking j's in same restroom (my classroom is right across from said restroom)vapes all over the place, and social media... Fuck. And that's just middle school. These idiots would be like how do you know it's weed? Bitch please, jester east motherfucker!

 My wife, several years ago, was the only person who would babysit a mentally disturbed child.  She was his teacher, and the only person in his life who he obeyed, until he didn’t. Nothing like getting a call on a random Tuesday from your wife that she has locked herself in the bathroom because a 12 year old was trying to stab her to death.  Call the police was my first response.  She didn’t want to do that.  My ass covered 10 miles in 5 minutes, got to the house, and then had a moment of reckoning.  I’m about to encounter a deranged teen with a knife.  Not a fun thing to contemplate.  Ready to go to war, walked in the house and the kid was crying in a corner of the kitchen.

[Bevo 13577]

25 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

Texas brought in a JUCO DT and EDGE for unofficial visits this past weekend.

Who?

[OB3 3620]

5 minutes ago, Bevo said:

Who?

https://southwestbearathletics.com/sports/football/roster/jaden-hamlin/3926

https://www.hudl.com/profile/19005257/Jaden-Hamlin

Edited January 24, 2023 by OB3

[Bevo 13577]

7 minutes ago, OB3 said:

https://southwestbearathletics.com/sports/football/roster/jaden-hamlin/3926

https://www.hudl.com/profile/19005257/Jaden-Hamlin

Thanks. Who was the Edge?

[OB3 3620]

3 minutes ago, Bevo said:

Thanks. Who was the Edge?

Gerry only named the DT, so I’m assuming the other guy isn’t a possibility