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Why Texas Stomps a Mudhole In LSU's Ass

closetojumping

By closetojumping
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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8810

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On 9/5/2019 at 3:46 PM, PsychMike said:

woe | wō | noun literary great sorrow or distress: they had a complicated tale of woe. • (woes) things that cause sorrow or distress; troubles: to add to his woes, customers have been spending less. PHRASES woe betide someone (or woe to someone) used humorously to warn someone that they will be in trouble if they do a specified thing: woe betide anyone wearing the wrong color! woe is me! an ironic or humorous exclamation of sorrow or distress

Hilarious, swamp brained cretins trying to correct anyone on word usage...or anything else for that matter.

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closetojumping
closetojumping

One of the great things about being a Texas fan is that the football team plays at least 10 P5 teams each year. I heard some SEC honk on XM 84 mention recently that Georgia is really showing the world

GumboPot
GumboPot

There is a lot of BS in your post and little substance.  How do you feel about match-ups? LSU O-Line versus UT D-Line? Will UT's backup RBs have the smarts to recognize and pick up Dave Aran

Bobby_Batronic
Bobby_Batronic

Let me translate since I married into a family of swamp running coonasses, jackasses and shrimpin’ Chinks. A baw is your basic jackass who is equal parts bro, wannabe country boy and pretentious

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wild_turkey

wild_turkey 3159

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Lots of rep to people in this thread. I’ve gone back and forth in the matchups on both sides, and there are arguments to be made for either team. What I do know is this:

Tom Herman >>> Ed Orgeron

Everyone agrees with that, even LSU. They tried to hire Herman and he left them standing at the alter for Texas. They cried about it, then Ed O was their pathetic rebound hire and they cried about that and secretly wished they still had Les. It’s pretty hard for anyone, even Tigers fans, to dispute this.

Advantage Texas.

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Texas is guaranteed to win, we have a secret weapon: my mom has gone to 10 Texas games in her life, and is 10-0 in attendance. That includes a Big XII championship and the game against KSU in the pouring rain. Texas cannot lose when she's in attendance.

By contrast, my dad is a jinx. Every texas big texas football game he's gone to, they've lost.

She's going to the game tomorrow. He is not. It's my birthday tomorrow, her's is next week. This is both of our birthday presents. We cannot lose.

Edited by BigXII
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Magabro

Magabro 171

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Texas is guaranteed to win, we have a secret weapon: my mom has gone to 10 Texas games in her life, and is 10-0 in attendance. That includes a Big XII championship and the game against KSU in the pouring rain. Texas cannot lose when she's in attendance.
By contrast, my dad is a jinx. Every texas big texas football game he's gone to, they've lost.
She's going to the game tomorrow. He is not. It's my birthday tomorrow, her's is next week. This is both of our birthday presents. We cannot lose.


TEXAS!!!!


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DFW Horn

DFW Horn 6124

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And by that, I mean I expect Texas to stomp a deep and dirty mudhole painfully into the ass of these Cajun hillbillies and send them packing back to the swampy nether regions faster than you can spot corruption in their state government.

* backwoods, cousin-humping rednecks

FIFY - It is topographically impossible to be a swamp-dwelling Cajun and a hillbilly at the same time.

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5211

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7 hours ago, BigXII said:

Texas is guaranteed to win, we have a secret weapon: my mom has gone to 10 Texas games in her life, and is 10-0 in attendance. Texas cannot lose when she's in attendance.

Damn, how many Rice games can one person see?

Edited by mulletpelini
I'm aware of the risks
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2 minutes ago, Hank_Hill said:

Torched

I remember when I was in college my mom came and visited me in 2006 which happened to line up with the Nebraska game in the snow. And I remember my mom telling me to "Shut up" during Ryan Bailey's kick because she was so into the game.

Also, my brother went to Texas A&M, and in 2005 while I was at the aggy game, my dad and her were watching at home and when A&M went up for a bit in the fourth, my dad told her "If A&M wins this, it'll be one of the best games in their school history, you should be happy if this is an upset."

To which she very incredulously replied, as my dad told me after, "Fuck Texas A&M."

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Enchubben

Enchubben 5510

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8 minutes ago, BigXII said:

I remember when I was in college my mom came and visited me in 2006 which happened to line up with the Nebraska game in the snow. And I remember my mom telling me to "Shut up" during Ryan Bailey's kick because she was so into the game.

Also, my brother went to Texas A&M, and in 2005 while I was at the aggy game, my dad and her were watching at home and when A&M went up for a bit in the fourth, my dad told her "If A&M wins this, it'll be one of the best games in their school history, you should be happy if this is an upset."

To which she very incredulously replied, as my dad told me after, "Fuck Texas A&M."

Pics of mom?

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4 minutes ago, Enchubben said:

Pics of mom?

We're getting ready to leave right now for Austin, she is laughing at the posts ITT. She told me I better not put a picture of her online. But she's 68 years old, so only like Armybrat would approve.

EDIT: Also, she works (yeah, my mom still works, at our local school district) with a bunch of LSU fans and thus she's super invested in this game, so she can "shut them the hell up."

Edited by BigXII
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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

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Just now, BigXII said:

We're getting ready to leave right now for Austin, she is laughing at the posts ITT. She told me I better not put a picture of her online. But she's 68 years old, so only like Armybrat would approve.

 

Just post a picture of Helen Mirren and call it square. No one will be any the wiser, given the probable BAC of the typical Surlite at present.

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Enchubben

Enchubben 5510

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9 minutes ago, BigXII said:

We're getting ready to leave right now for Austin, she is laughing at the posts ITT. She told me I better not put a picture of her online. But she's 68 years old, so only like Armybrat would approve.

EDIT: Also, she works (yeah, my mom still works, at our local school district) with a bunch of LSU fans and thus she's super invested in this game, so she can "shut them the hell up."

No worries. Sounds like she has baggage (asshole kids) anyways 

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Doc Reeves

Doc Reeves 6434

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11 hours ago, BigXII said:

Texas is guaranteed to win, we have a secret weapon: my mom has gone to 10 Texas games in her life, and is 10-0 in attendance. That includes a Big XII championship and the game against KSU in the pouring rain. Texas cannot lose when she's in attendance.

By contrast, my dad is a jinx. Every texas big texas football game he's gone to, they've lost.

She's going to the game tomorrow. He is not. It's my birthday tomorrow, her's is next week. This is both of our birthday presents. We cannot lose.

So we are going to win because of @bigxii’s mom?  

Dear penthouse....

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62738

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2 minutes ago, GotThatFire said:

Again.

Does CTJ get off on this?  Please don’t do this anymore. 

Stop being a fucking pussy. The thread was fun as always. I can’t control for inexperienced CBs and a terrible defensive game plan.  Great game, nonetheless. If you’re blaming me, well, thanks for giving me that much power over you, but really, take up astrology or something. There are probably more powerful mystics in this world than me. 

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GotThatFire

GotThatFire 166

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33 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Stop being a fucking pussy. The thread was fun as always. I can’t control for inexperienced CBs and a terrible defensive game plan.  Great game, nonetheless. If you’re blaming me, well, thanks for giving me that much power over you, but really, take up astrology or something. There are probably more powerful mystics in this world than me. 

You’re definitely a jinxer. Just accept it and adjust. 

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