Trash Pandas

[You don't know me 1161]

We live in sem-rural Missouri.  Small town, about 60 miles outside of St. Louis.  We are on 3 acres, so it's not like I'm out in the middle of nowhere without neighbors.  We have had some raccoons start to visit us at night.  They are coming up on the back deck and scrounging for bird seed.  They also knock my hummingbird feeders down and drink the sugar water.  We also have chickens, so I need to get rid of the trash pandas before the look for a new food source, our chickens.

We got a trap and set it out.  The first night, they stuck their stupid raccoon arms through the trap and ate all of the bait that way.  Never set the trap off.  Next night, we used bigger stuff and left the trap on safe to try to get them to think it's okay to go into the trap.  They ate everything.  Next night we tried the same approach but left the trap armed.  They ate everything without setting the trap off again.  The next night we used peanut butter spread onto a piece of cardboard with birdseed sprinkles for added enticement.  We also put some boards all around the trap, leaving only the door available for entry.  This time it worked.  I woke up at 2:30 AM and sure enough, there was a raccoon in the trap.  I left it out there until morning and then drowned the thing.  I have to admit, I felt a little bad killing it in this manner.  I think a bullet to the head would be much more humane.

So, my question to the Surly hoard, what type of rifle/round will be quiet enough to shoot from inside a window without waking anyone up and kill the vermin from about 20 yards?  If I can do that, then I'm sure that I won't disturb my neighbors, whose house is about 200 yards away.  I've looked at some air rifles, but to get the killing power it looks like there will still be a fairly loud crack as the round leaves the muzzle.

[Helobious 9454]

Disembowel the drowned one and string him up by your deck as a warning to the others. 

[Texaus 377]

Subsonic .22. And you’re an asshole.

[Shoxthemonkey 1981]

I'm rural as well with the same issue. I don't kill the coons that were live-trapped. We relocate them to a more remote area and let somebody else deal with the fallout.

Actually we haven't trapped one in years. We leave a radio, tuned to a country station, playing all night and it seems to do the trick. We don't bring in the cat food every night like we used to do. Our hummingbird feeders are hung from climb-proof poles in the garden as are the regular bird feeding stations around the yard. Killing the critters that are just doing critter things is something I try to avoid. I made the attractive nuisance, the least I can do is take responsibility for keeping it out of their reach.

[TwiceHorn 31488]

Radios seem to be quite effective.  We had some in our garage once.  Put a radio in their and it drove em out, not to return.

[crash_davis 23113]

16 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Radios seem to be quite effective.  We had some in our garage once.  Put a radio in their and it drove em out, not to return.

but don't play rap.  since they are half black, they may throw a house party.

[You don't know me 1161]

Yeah, we have a radio in the coop, but the raccoons just walk right by it on the way to the deck. 

I did think about relocating, but decided that I didn't want to push the problem on to someone else. 

I think I'll relocate the hummingbird feeders.

Oh, and yes, I felt like an asshole killing the thing.

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

Just cook a roux every night. They will recognize the smell and know to stay away.

[crash_davis 23113]

nuisance are nuisance, don't matter how cute.

i used to like squirrels.  then i had a pecan tree.  during pecan season, the assholes would only half eat unripe green pecans and shit them all over my backyard patio.  damn disgusting.  wasteful motherfuckers.  it was an annual 3 months of hell.  i'd spend hours shooting them with a pellet gun.  more always came, like vampires drawn to a pool of blood.

 

[davidg 4038]

Since you have decided that you're ok killing a raccoon,  just get 2 or 3 of the duke traps.  They work very good.  Look at the raising chicken thread in hobbies for some graphic results.

[gsoda3 3262]

yeah subsonic .22 will do you.

[deadshank 24653]

These  raccoons sound a little more sophisticated than  you.  

Maybe  you shouldn't  have firearms.

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

2 hours ago, You don't know me said:

We live in sem-rural Missouri.  Small town, about 60 miles outside of St. Louis.  We are on 3 acres, so it's not like I'm out in the middle of nowhere without neighbors.  We have had some raccoons start to visit us at night.  They are coming up on the back deck and scrounging for bird seed.  They also knock my hummingbird feeders down and drink the sugar water.  We also have chickens, so I need to get rid of the trash pandas before the look for a new food source, our chickens.

We got a trap and set it out.  The first night, they stuck their stupid raccoon arms through the trap and ate all of the bait that way.  Never set the trap off.  Next night, we used bigger stuff and left the trap on safe to try to get them to think it's okay to go into the trap.  They ate everything.  Next night we tried the same approach but left the trap armed.  They ate everything without setting the trap off again.  The next night we used peanut butter spread onto a piece of cardboard with birdseed sprinkles for added enticement.  We also put some boards all around the trap, leaving only the door available for entry.  This time it worked.  I woke up at 2:30 AM and sure enough, there was a raccoon in the trap.  I left it out there until morning and then drowned the thing.  I have to admit, I felt a little bad killing it in this manner.  I think a bullet to the head would be much more humane.

So, my question to the Surly hoard, what type of rifle/round will be quiet enough to shoot from inside a window without waking anyone up and kill the vermin from about 20 yards?  If I can do that, then I'm sure that I won't disturb my neighbors, whose house is about 200 yards away.  I've looked at some air rifles, but to get the killing power it looks like there will still be a fairly loud crack as the round leaves the muzzle.

Doing well for yourself there Mr Spackler

 

Edited September 9, 2019 by Grade of D as in David
Remember the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang

[You don't know me 1161]

2 minutes ago, Grade of D as in David said:

Doing well for yourself there Mr Spackler

 

Yeah, not so much.

[rage-a-holic 4402]

Pinto Trap

 

[Al_4_ISU 12464]

Mix some Golden Malrin and Coke in a little dish and leave it out.  Cocksuckers can't resist it, and it kills them almost instantly.

Much cheaper and quieter.  Requires less vigilance on your end (other than keeping pets away).

Edited September 9, 2019 by Al_4_ISU

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

Do you have to leave it on a strippers ass?

[Al_4_ISU 12464]

15 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Do you have to leave it on a strippers ass?

Not that kind of Coke.  Why would you waste that on a rakin anyways?

[Quagmire 2147]

Coons get on our porch all the time, momma just scares them off with a broom

[Not that Bob 738]

I got a gadget on Amazon that is essentially two solar powered red lights about the size of a fox or wolf pupil. They come on intermittently. So far it's working, but I imagine they get used to it sooner or later. 

[Bevo 13577]

On 9/9/2019 at 3:33 PM, Al_4_ISU said:

Mix some Golden Malrin and Coke in a little dish and leave it out.  Cocksuckers can't resist it, and it kills them almost instantly.

That seems like an expensive way to kill but I guess there are worse ways to go.

[Jkwellborn 6704]

Get a fucking air rifle. They make them strong enough to kill hogs. Cheaper than subsonic .22.

[zork 629]

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2016/02/regulators-move-limit-wildlife-deaths-misuse-deadly-fly-killer