Subway brisket

[Js1 85744]

Oh my god, that joke is soooooooooooo funny, I hope 2-3 more idiots post "how many actual Texans live in Austin?" on this page. 

[jimmyjazz 46470]

1 hour ago, smuggs said:

Here's what it looks like in the wild:

 

 

Is that Hope Solo?

[RPM 26426]

13 hours ago, deadshank said:

Cheese on brisket. 

No. 

I have a confession. Hope this is a shame free zone... We used to own a small BBQ joint in the 90's and I slept there as night watchman. Sometimes around 3 or 4 am I'd drunkenly make a sammich. Sometimes I'd add a slice of American cheese to some thick sliced brisket. It was pretty f'n tasty.

[South Austin 52686]

4 minutes ago, RPM said:

I have a confession. Hope this is a shame free zone... We used to own a small BBQ joint in the 90's and I slept there as night watchman. Sometimes around 3 or 4 am I'd drunkenly make a sammich. Sometimes I'd add a slice of American cheese to some thick sliced brisket. It was pretty f'n tasty.

No shame. We do things when we’re drunk that we ordinary wouldn’t. Like your mom.

[Sbbruin 21912]

4 hours ago, AustinMT said:

It’s Austin.  Actual Texans are outnumbered by transplanted Californians.

FWIW, us actual born and bred Californians are outnumbered by transplant everyones out here.

 

And also, there may imitators, but the original remains king.

Edited September 18, 2019 by Sbbruin

[RPM 26426]

3 minutes ago, South Austin said:

No shame. We do things when we’re drunk that we ordinary wouldn’t. Like your mom.

Stepmom was hotter and easier.

[South Austin 52686]

Now you tell me.

[Sbbruin 21912]

14 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

surly handle?

[Beau Vine 54838]

3 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

surly handle?

futureman

[South Austin 52686]

3 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

surly handle?

Seems like a question the surly handle would ask.

[hopkinsnhorns 533]

Looks like Chad Briscoe lost some weight.

[Guest Lobo]

1 hour ago, tjhooker said:

How many actual Texans live in Austin? 

What exactly is an an ‘actual Texan’?

[Guest Lobo]

So basically something you have Zero control over?   I think a big part of being a Texan is taking control of your destiny and making the place you live a better one. Your greatest achievement in life thus far seems to be the arbitrary geographic location of your mothers Vagina at some point in the past.  Congrats on having absolutely no influence on the thing you make the biggest part of your identity.  What a weird way to go through life.  You seem about as integral to Texas as a subway franchise.  

Edited September 18, 2019 by Lobo

[Beau Vine 54838]

5 minutes ago, Lobo said:

So basically something you have Zero control over?   I think a big part of being a Texan is taking control of your destiny and making the place you live a better one. Your greatest achievement in life thus far seems to be the arbitrary geographic location of your mothers Vagina at some point in the past.  Congrats on having absolutely no influence on the thing you make the biggest part of your identity.  What a weird way to go through life.  You seem about as integral to Texas as a subway franchise.  

So you're from Ohio or where?

[Guest Lobo]

Yep, Akron. 

[Johnny Sack 8397]

31 minutes ago, Lobo said:

So basically something you have Zero control over?   I think a big part of being a Texan is taking control of your destiny and making the place you live a better one. Your greatest achievement in life thus far seems to be the arbitrary geographic location of your mothers Vagina at some point in the past.  Congrats on having absolutely no influence on the thing you make the biggest part of your identity.  What a weird way to go through life.  You seem about as integral to Texas as a subway franchise.  

Jesus you are one insufferable cunt.

[Js1 85744]

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

So basically something you have Zero control over?   I think a big part of being a Texan is taking control of your destiny and making the place you live a better one. Your greatest achievement in life thus far seems to be the arbitrary geographic location of your mothers Vagina at some point in the past.  Congrats on having absolutely no influence on the thing you make the biggest part of your identity.  What a weird way to go through life.  You seem about as integral to Texas as a subway franchise.  

Something something about being geographically located inside your mother's vagina last night

[formermav43 4606]

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

So basically something you have Zero control over?   I think a big part of being a Texan is taking control of your destiny and making the place you live a better one. Your greatest achievement in life thus far seems to be the arbitrary geographic location of your mothers Vagina at some point in the past.  Congrats on having absolutely no influence on the thing you make the biggest part of your identity.  What a weird way to go through life.  You seem about as integral to Texas as a subway franchise.  

No one cares what you think about Texans, yankee.

[deadshank 24653]

2 hours ago, South Austin said:

No shame. We do things when we’re drunk that we ordinary wouldn’t. Like your mom.

Your ma put cheese on my hot dog.  

[Guest Lobo]

1 hour ago, Johnny Sack said:

Jesus you are one insufferable cunt.

Look on the bright side, now you can have delicious brisket sandwiches at your next Klan rally.  The people, and the catering, in the video look exactly like how I picture your political fundraisers.  

[Johnny Sack 8397]

2 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Look on the bright side, now you can have delicious brisket sandwiches at your next Klan rally.  The people, and the catering, in the video look exactly like how I picture your political fundraisers.  

That’s because you’re a dumbass who imagines a lot of stupid and delusional shit.  

[AustinMT 952]

For something that was intended as a joke (i.e. my comment about how many non-native Texans live in Austin) I apparently struck a nerve.  For the record: (1) yes, born and raised in Texas; (2) yes, live in Austin now (since 2000) after previously living in Houston and Dallas (and Austin for three years in the 80s); and (3) there is nothing inherently wrong with the non-natives living in Austin, other than that Austin is overcrowded in general, regardless of the prior geographic location of current residents.  

If you are really that touchy, maybe you should stick to the Aggie boards.

[Beau Vine 54838]

https://www.instagram.com/montys_brisket/

Looks like they took over the Pizza Press location on 26th for this stunt.

Edited September 18, 2019 by Beau Vine

[jimmyjazz 46470]

Nothing screams "BBQ afficionado" like a college student.  I'm surprised they found that many olds.

[Guest Lobo]

They were gonna call it Money's, but apparently that was too heavy-handed, so changed to Monty's at the last minute.  Smoker was literally butted up against the back of a 7-11, which is where all the good mesquite wood comes from.  The bread magically managed to not absorb a single bit of the smokey ambiance of the place, still smells/tastes/looks like bagged franchise bread.  And then they offer cheese in perfect squared slices and mayonnaise as options.  So much of that should have been a dead give away to people who know about BBQ than the average resident of Duluth.  

[Dewey 3314]

That is Austin, that's what it has become. Still obviously a great city, just a lot of people move there and as always, a lot of people who try to be something they are not. All good, but that commercial is funny for that reason. Quintessential Austin.

[Guest Lobo]

to be fair to Austin, Subway could have done this anywhere in the South or in any typical "BBQ-centric" states and would have gotten the same idiotic response.  They picked Austin because it gives them street cred to show they "fooled" maybe the best BBQ town in America.  Subway has convinced a 100 million Americans they serve good food, this was just extra marketing gravy.  But yeah, several native Texans and a bunch of other idiots in that video missed multiple clues as to what they were being served.  

[Beau Vine 54838]

14 minutes ago, Lobo said:

  So much of that should have been a dead give away to people who know about BBQ than the average resident of Duluth.  

I would think that the grand opening of a "BBQ restaurant" with a menu consisting  only of one type of sandwich would be a bigger giveaway.  

Edited September 18, 2019 by Beau Vine

[jimmyjazz 46470]

9 minutes ago, Dewey said:

That is Austin, that's what it has become. Still obviously a great city, just a lot of people move there and as always, a lot of people who try to be something they are not. All good, but that commercial is funny for that reason. Quintessential Austin.

It would seem I have little in common with any of those fools, and I'm not even "native" (but I became permanent in 1985 after a short stint in 1982).  That isn't what Austin has become.  It may be what Cedar Park has become, but most folks who live in and near central Austin have a better view on this city's culture over the years.  There is no fucking way (for instance) Beau Vine and I would have had that reaction to the garbage put forth in that video.

[Beau Vine 54838]

2 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

It would seem I have little in common with any of those fools, and I'm not even "native" (but I became permanent in 1985 after a short stint in 1982).  That isn't what Austin has become.  It may be what Cedar Park has become, but most folks who live in and near central Austin have a better view on this city's culture over the years.  There is no fucking way (for instance) Beau Vine and I would have had that reaction to the garbage put forth in that video.

So you didn't like the bread?

[jimmyjazz 46470]

3 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

So you didn't like the bread?

Nowhere near as much as you did.

[Brisketexan 105569]

Was in a rush yesterday, and in a choice that was pure surrender, went to Subway for a spicy italian sammich (it was as sad as I remembered).  But as I walked down the line, I saw a metal container of meat that I couldn't identify at first, then realized that it was cold, gray slices of brisket.  And not good slices.  It was a layer of gray meat, a huge ribbon of fat in the middle, then another layer of gray meat.  It looked like complete failure.  Don't get me wrong, I don't mind some fatty brisket at all....but not as a sammich slice.  I should have taken a picture, because words can't convey how unappetizing it actually looked.

[Guest Lobo]

2 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

I would think that the grand opening of a "BBQ restaurant" with a menu consisting  only of one type of sandwich would be a bigger giveaway.  

Good point, but so many soft openings only have limited menu options.  Although just one option is kind of a knock-off.  That the one hipster even shouts up about how good the bread is leads me to believe that the whole thing is a little eye-wink middle finger from the  Subway marketing guys to the true fans of great BBQ.  They even packed it with people who look straight out of the line at Franklin.  They even decorated the space to look like a Bennigan's vomited inside of a Texas Catfish Parlour.  The whole thing screams tongue-in-cheek down to the neon orange cheese slices far beyond the size we see in most bbq joints.  I'm sure there was a clip with typical Subway onions and pickles being used, but they thought that was a little too heavy-handed and would give them away.  And somebody had to be talked out of giving out shredded lettuce upon request.  

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

3 hours ago, Js1 said:

Oh my god, that joke is soooooooooooo funny, I hope 2-3 more idiots post "how many actual Texans live in Austin?" on this page. 

Thank you.  Thank you very much.  Don't forget to tip your waitress.

[Beau Vine 54838]

3 minutes ago, Lobo said:

That the one hipster even shouts up about how good the bread is leads me to believe that the whole thing is a little eye-wink middle finger from the  Subway marketing guys to the true fans of great BBQ. 

Should have had one of those ladies trot out the "Good BBQ is all about the sauce!" line.

[Jerry Callo 8828]

Edited out were a bunch of wtf looks, a vegan feigning outrage, and the line of homeless folks there for the free sandwich.

Edited September 18, 2019 by Jerry Callo

[ShaggyBevo RIP 3868]

18 hours ago, mycox said:

I expected to see the Chevy truck guy to pop out of nowhere

[Guest Lobo]

With the beard, he looks kinda like that one host from westworld.  Probably explains his taste in barbecue.  

[gyroprotagonist 2595]

On 9/18/2019 at 9:22 AM, smuggs said:

Here's what it looks like in the wild:

 

 

 

 

 

[Anastasis 23498]

Photos of brisket on that Instagram looks like the one that @CenTXpony posted of a competing place opening near him. Was that right?

[Anastasis 23498]

I see this was addressed a week ago...

 

[Guest Lobo]

"I'm sure they source it from somewhere else."  

Dear god, he's on to us man!  Are you about to suggest sir, that there is not a 13-hour smoker behind each and every strip center pile of shit called "Subway"?  I mean, even the ones located inside Wal-Marts.  When will America fucking learn, that not every slice of ham or cheese is all from the same place.  Food suppliers have a wide myriad of grades to everything from meats to seafood to veggies to breads.  And Subway gets the absolute lowest grade available, just before the prisons get their pick.  

[oSuJeff97 3435]

Have no hot takes on the Subway brisket or the nuance of being a "native Texan", but I just wanted to say how much I hate every commercial where they have "regular folk" (i.e. mouthbreathing fucking morons) "reacting" to whatever.... "ZOMG it's a CHEVY????!!!".....

Fucking retards.

[CooterBrown 18089]

How is anyone surprised at the average person thinking it's great?  Fucking Gatti's still finishes in the Chronicle's top 10 pizza joint poll.  The average Austinite hasn't heard of or eaten at the top 10 BBQ places in town.  The average person is a fucking dumb ass.

 

[kevwun 15943]

Unnatural smoke ring and color.  I don't know what they're doing to the brisket, but it involves lots of chemistry.

[utee94 15878]

1 hour ago, kevwun said:

Unnatural smoke ring and color.  I don't know what they're doing to the brisket, but it involves lots of chemistry.

[kevwun 15943]

I thought about that, but that smoke ring is even bigger than what I have seen tender quick do.

[midtown 3348]

On 9/17/2019 at 9:19 PM, RMac5 said:

Maybe the line at Franklin will get shorter.

The easiest way to make the line shorter at Franklin.  Make everyone in line taste test Franklin vs Rudys.  If you can pick which one is which you can stand in line.  That should eliminate 95% of the line.

[TornACL 7766]

psssst.... if you give free shit away, there's about a 95% chance people will say nice things about it.

even most of you little wannabe aficionados would be complimentary of free food that was handed to you in exchange for your reactions.

[Brisketexan 105569]

12 minutes ago, TornACL said:

psssst.... if you give free shit away, there's about a 95% chance people will say nice things about it.

even most of you little wannabe aficionados would be complimentary of free food that was handed to you in exchange for your reactions.

In approx 1992, I was at the Posse East when the Miller representative was handing out free sample pitchers of "Miller Clear" (remember THAT stupid trend?)  Free beer.  To poor law students.  We all took a swig.  We then dumped the rest of the pitcher out, in front of the rep, who nodded.

"Free" goes a long way.  But it doesn't get you all the way across the finish line.