The Importance of Having Both a Mom and a Dad

[PossumHollerKid 2]

I believe that every kid needs both a mom and a dad.  I heard a story third hand recently which drives home this truth.

A divorced mom of a five year old boy noticed odd behavior in her son after he had spent a weekend with dad.  It was freezing cold, but every few hours the boy would go outside for about five minutes.  She wondered what he was doing.  She discovered that he was pissing off the deck.  It turns out that dad had had a bunch of friends over to drink beer and watch football.  During a break in the action the bathroom was at a premium so, rather than wait, some would piss off the back deck.  The boy thought this was great fun.

My takeaway:  Every five year old boy needs a dad to teach him how to piss off the back deck, and a mom to teach him not to.  I have other stories about things dads and moms should teach.  Do you?

[GotThatFire 166]

Might as well go ahead and move this to the CR now boss

[TexasMan 10956]

*Bill Burr voice*

D'ohhhhhh jeeeeeezus

[Incredulity 11682]

If pissing outside is wrong I don’t want to be right.

[Armybrat 40866]

I’ll wait for the story about mom pissing off the deck instead of her husband.

[EE2B 1565]

They didn’t have a fireplace to piss in?

[South Austin 52558]

It’s not piss.

[Anastasis 23481]

3 minutes ago, EE2B said:

They didn’t have a fireplace to piss in?

[SquishMitten 10425]

I’d say you just made a strong case for why it’s more important to have two dads and zero moms

[DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt 12301]

Wat

[tfoolry 8227]

9 replies & no reference to SouthAustin’s mom?

[Judge Roybeanbag 11819]

In Russia, deck piss off you.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

Hmm.  Not sure about that.  I've certainly had my share of moms.  I've never had any dads.

[Bullneck 19196]

[RollLeft 5045]

If you have two dads then three people are pissing off the deck yelling, it's piss!

[Blotto 23565]

[After irth 1243]

There’s a molestation joke here somewhere. I just know it...

[Pescado_Rojo 19427]

[TexArcher 38004]

On 9/21/2019 at 4:00 PM, tfoolry said:

9 replies & no reference to SouthAustin’s mom?

Sorry, I was busy pissing on her when this thread started.

[NAVY 6747]

What is going on here? 

[SHOOTER12 8819]

On 9/22/2019 at 1:00 AM, Blotto said:

That's that aggy commit King... right?

[ChickenSandwich 9848]

On 9/21/2019 at 11:30 AM, PossumHollerKid said:

I believe that every kid needs both a mom and a dad.  I heard a story third hand recently which drives home this truth.

A divorced mom of a five year old boy noticed odd behavior in her son after he had spent a weekend with dad.  It was freezing cold, but every few hours the boy would go outside for about five minutes.  She wondered what he was doing.  She discovered that he was pissing off the deck.  It turns out that dad had had a bunch of friends over to drink beer and watch football.  During a break in the action the bathroom was at a premium so, rather than wait, some would piss off the back deck.  The boy thought this was great fun.

My takeaway:  Every five year old boy needs a dad to teach him how to piss off the back deck, and a mom to teach him not to.  I have other stories about things dads and moms should teach.  Do you?

Friends or court ordered supervision?

[Ten Bears 2483]

I hear oxygen is important but I don't know. What do you all think?

[ulukinatme 1765]

Is this the part where someone says Dad taught me to shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain, while mom said that was wrong and you should break the shit up with the sprayer?

[LonghornJones 837]

On 9/21/2019 at 11:49 AM, GotThatFire said:

Might as well go ahead and move this to the CR now boss

I think you meant Classics!

[General Specific 3266]

Fake news because she didn’t mention farting to finish it off.

[MrPhlegm 3413]

Is this the part where someone says Dad taught me to shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain, while mom said that was wrong and you should break the shit up with the sprayer?

what about letting the dog eat it?

[housious 468]

Wasn’t there a pissing in the backyard thread on shaggy? 

[Guest Lobo]

11 hours ago, Ten Bears said:

I hear oxygen is important but I don't know. What do you all think?

I would say air pressure.  You can get by for a few minutes without oxygen.  Wrong level of air pressure, up or down, can wipe your ass out in just a few seconds.  

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

34 minutes ago, housious said:

Wasn’t there a pissing in the backyard thread on shaggy? 

Damn straight. I vaguely remember somebody telling a story of standing in the yard and peeing on the porch. Because, that's why.

[Marfa Low Crown 2547]

On 9/21/2019 at 11:30 AM, PossumHollerKid said:

and a mom to teach him not to.

They leave that for the wives. 

[GotThatFire 166]

The wave of inane posts. The drill is laughably obvious.

Edited September 24, 2019 by GotThatFire

[Johnny Sack 8397]

18 hours ago, Lobo said:

I would say air pressure.  You can get by for a few minutes without oxygen.  Wrong level of air pressure, up or down, can wipe your ass out in just a few seconds.  

[NeverMarryAStripper 21920]

Well I'm pretty sure you wouldn't last long with no air pressure

[Guest Lobo]

To be fair, I didn't say "no air pressure", I typed "wrong level of air pressure."  

We are all just pawns man...can't you see?  

[crash_davis 23114]

On 9/21/2019 at 1:45 PM, SquishMitten said:

I’d say you just made a strong case for why it’s more important to have two dads and zero moms

[crash_davis 23114]

she aged well.  i wonder if she regularly has 3somes with 2 dudes and fantasizes about her 2 dads.

 

[Mach 1 1677]

[tfoolry 8227]

[mulletpelini 5215]

On 9/23/2019 at 11:26 AM, ulukinatme said:

Is this the part where someone says Dad taught me to shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain, while mom said that was wrong and you should break the shit up with the sprayer?

I'm pretty sure a Surlist once explained that moms prefer to use knife and fork for more stubborn disposal of goods