The stupidest worst selfish asshole things dumbasses do on the road

[Beau Vine 54471]

1 hour ago, Doc Holliday said:

saw a guy this morning stop at every red light on 2222 and then immediately run it like they were stop signs 

I do this when it's really early in the morning, or school's out in San Marcos.  If I'm literally the only person on the road, there's no reason for me to wait at a stop light that doesn't have sensors.  

[Doc Holliday 199]

24 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

How did you know this unless you were running the red lights too so you could follow him?

at 6:30am those lights don't stay red for long going east/west

 

12 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

I do this when it's really early in the morning, or school's out in San Marcos.  If I'm literally the only person on the road, there's no reason for me to wait at a stop light that doesn't have sensors.  

yeah, if there isn't anyone else it's no big deal.  when there are multiple other vehicles turning onto the 2222 and going in the opposite direction it's a different story.

[WhatTheBuck 28811]

A couple days ago I saw a guy in the right lane pull halfway into the left lane, forcing the guy in the left lane halfway into the left turn only lane to avoid getting hit, in order to make a right turn. He never signaled. That was a new one. 

[utee94 15869]

37 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

A couple days ago I saw a guy in the right lane pull halfway into the left lane, forcing the guy in the left lane halfway into the left turn only lane to avoid getting hit, in order to make a right turn. He never signaled. That was a new one. 

Sadly it's not all that new, I've seen it several times before.

People in the left lane will swerve right to make a turn as well, which makes even less sense.

[utee94 15869]

1 hour ago, Apep said:

That’s not the law in Texas. It depends on the width of the median or signage. 

I assumed he was talking about the case where the intersection is > 30 feet and signage exists.  I see people ignore the signs and screw this one up all the time.

 

[WhatTheBuck 28811]

6 minutes ago, utee94 said:

Sadly it's not all that new, I've seen it several times before.

People in the left lane will swerve right to make a turn as well, which makes even less sense.

I was taught to turn right from all the way to the right in the lane and to turn left from all the way to the left in the lane. I've seen people swing wide on their turns many times. I've never seen anyone swing halfway into an adjacent lane and almost cause a collision before. That was a first for me. 

[utee94 15869]

2 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I was taught to turn right from all the way to the right in the lane and to turn left from all the way to the left in the lane. I've seen people swing wide on their turns many times. I've never seen anyone swing halfway into an adjacent lane and almost cause a collision before. That was a first for me. 

I wish I could say the same, or that I'd never seen it at all, but I've seen it many times.  Absolutely mind-bottling.

 

Something similar I've noticed recently on roads with 2 lanes going in each direction, when there are pretty large curves, is the driver in the outside lane cutting off the curve and actually coming into the inside lane.  If there's nobody there, there's no real harm done, but I've had people almost hit me when I was on the inside lane and they just drifted across the line like they had every right to take up two lanes.  I have no idea what they're thinking.

Edited May 2, 2018 by utee94

[Judge Roybeanbag 11821]

8 minutes ago, utee94 said:

I wish I could say the same, or that I'd never seen it at all, but I've seen it many times.  Absolutely mind-bottling.

 

Something similar I've noticed recently on roads with 2 lanes going in each direction, when there are pretty large curves, is the driver in the outside lane cutting off the curve and actually coming into the inside lane.  If there's nobody there, there's no real harm done, but I've had people almost hit me when I was on the inside lane and they just drifted across the line like they had every right to take up two lanes.  I have no idea what they're thinking.

On my way to work this morning I was in the middle lane on Ben White eastbound between 1st and 35.  Some lady in a powder blue VW bug was in the right lane going slow.  As I came up toward her she starts drifting in to my lane.  After it happened three or four times and I had to slow down, I honked at her.  She promptly sped up and moved all the way over to the far left lane and hauled ass.  Crazies.

[Apep 645]

4 hours ago, utee94 said:

I assumed he was talking about the case where the intersection is > 30 feet and signage exists.  I see people ignore the signs and screw this one up all the time.

 

I wouldn't make that assumption. There is a very popular meme making the rounds that doesn't make that distinction.

[Johnny Sack 8397]

On 4/8/2018 at 5:26 PM, Chuychanga said:

The cocksuckers in my neighborhood who slow to 5 mph to go over those big rubber speed humps.  Fuck off with that.  I have kids that play outside too and I don't speed on residential streets but those humps are made to go over at the speed limit.  Going over them slow is a fucking beating of a rollercoaster.  Going over them at 25-30mph lets your suspension absorb the bump and is much smoother.   

Every once in awhile I will get behind some cocksucker who does that on the road humps on Mid Lane between Richmond and San Felipe.  They will drive 5 mph and then slow down more for the road humps.  I will pass them if it is clear.

And I do not drive more than 20 MPH in a neighborhood as a rule.  But I am not going to spend 10 minutes driving that 1/2 mile.

[utee94 15869]

24 minutes ago, Apep said:

I wouldn't make that assumption. There is a very popular meme making the rounds that doesn't make that distinction.

Don't know of any memes along those lines, but as I stated before I've seen people do it incorrectly scores or even hundreds of times, at intersections where the signs are clearly marking the correct path. So I'm ok with anyone bringing it up as driving jackassery.

It happens on 360 all of the time, where there's an intersection or even just a crossover, with the signs clearly marking your Yielding position on the opposite side of that intersection.  Yet time and time again people ignore the signs and turn immediately around their near corner, rather than crossing as the signs designate.  Parmer between MOPAC and McNeil is another place I see it frequently.  Pretty much any large multi-lane road in Austin is subject to this, and people screw it up all the time.

 

 

Edited May 2, 2018 by utee94

[Johnny Sack 8397]

On 4/27/2018 at 12:28 PM, po elvis said:

my big peeve is when there is a right turn lane at an intersection  and you want to get into it, but the car in front of you is not far up enough to give you room to get into it. When I am that car in front going straight, I ALWAYS move up as far as I can when I see someone needs to get into that turn lane. I can't believe there are so many people who are either oblivious or just want to be dickheads.

Did this a couple years ago for a guy behind me -- moved up to and to the left as much as possible --  and a dickhead scraped the side of my truck.  And no tiene insurance.

There was plenty of room.

Edited May 2, 2018 by Johnny Sack

[elfenix 34341]

On 4/27/2018 at 1:28 PM, po elvis said:

my big peeve is when there is a right turn lane at an intersection  and you want to get into it, but the car in front of you is not far up enough to give you room to get into it. When I am that car in front going straight, I ALWAYS move up as far as I can when I see someone needs to get into that turn lane. I can't believe there are so many people who are either oblivious or just want to be dickheads.

some people leave their hitches in so that you can't squeeze those extra few inches.

5 hours ago, Doc Holliday said:

yeah, if there isn't anyone else it's no big deal.  when there are multiple other vehicles turning onto the 2222 and going in the opposite direction it's a different story.

go back to california

[wood 11286]

5 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

A couple days ago I saw a guy in the right lane pull halfway into the left lane, forcing the guy in the left lane halfway into the left turn only lane to avoid getting hit, in order to make a right turn. He never signaled. That was a new one. 

Couple days ago I was driving through a neighborhood behind a guy in a big F250. Dude signals right and then starts turning right at the street coming up. As I approach he immediately swings back to the left across the street like he's gonna make a big wide left u-turn, or like he's positioning to back his truck into that side street, or who knows what. Damn near hit the guy. After stopping, I start to go again & the dipshit is yelling at me, saying he signaled, so I should somehow have known what he was doing. Fucking people. 

[Quagmire 2147]

This one really gets me, stop sign or stop light on 2 lane road . I’m in right lane because I’m turning right just past the light, car pulls up behind me then moves over into the left lane because it’s one car shorter, then once light changes proceeds to cut me off so they can turn on the same street just past the light. Essentially causing me to slam the brakes just so they can save 2 seconds of their life.

 

if that’s not the most selfish shithead thing I don’t know what is, happens every damn day .

[Apep 645]

51 minutes ago, utee94 said:

Don't know of any memes along those lines, but as I stated before I've seen people do it incorrectly scores or even hundreds of times, at intersections where the signs are clearly marking the correct path. So I'm ok with anyone bringing it up as driving jackassery.

It happens on 360 all of the time, where there's an intersection or even just a crossover, with the signs clearly marking your Yielding position on the opposite side of that intersection.  Yet time and time again people ignore the signs and turn immediately around their near corner, rather than crossing as the signs designate.  Parmer between MOPAC and McNeil is another place I see it frequently.  Pretty much any large multi-lane road in Austin is subject to this, and people screw it up all the time.

 

 

I don't doubt that people ignore the signage and lane markings all the time, but people also do it the wrong way on <30 ft medians by not turning around the near corner. Both are great examples of jackassery. But lately, there has been a movement to get people to treat the method for >30 ft medians as the method for all medians, which screws things up even worse.

[TornACL 7729]

24 minutes ago, wood said:

Couple days ago I was driving through a neighborhood behind a guy in a big F250. Dude signals right and then starts turning right at the street coming up. As I approach he immediately swings back to the left across the street like he's gonna make a big wide left u-turn, or like he's positioning to back his truck into that side street, or who knows what. Damn near hit the guy. After stopping, I start to go again & the dipshit is yelling at me, saying he signaled, so I should somehow have known what he was doing. Fucking people. 

Plus the dumbest fucking part is they're actually making their turn even more difficult.

People do this shit in our parking garage every day. Swing all the way over to the left and then cut it at an even worse angle to get into their parking spot. I make mental notes of these people.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21968]

It's standard operating procedure on the Houston multi lane feeder roads for drivers in the left lane to punch it to get ahead of a driver in the right lane and then slam on their brakes to turn right.  It's almost always done when the road behind me is completely clear too.  One of these days i'm going to go all Falling Down on someone's ass.

[deadshank 24653]

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

It's standard operating procedure on the Houston multi lane feeder roads for drivers in the left lane to punch it to get ahead of a driver in the right lane and then slam on their brakes to turn right.  It's almost always done when the road behind me is completely clear too.  One of these days i'm going to go all Falling Down on someone's ass.

I've never noticed you riding in the seat next to me.  Speak up next time, would you?

[deadshank 24653]

1 hour ago, wood said:

Couple days ago I was driving through a neighborhood behind a guy in a big F250. Dude signals right and then starts turning right at the street coming up. As I approach he immediately swings back to the left across the street like he's gonna make a big wide left u-turn, or like he's positioning to back his truck into that side street, or who knows what. Damn near hit the guy. After stopping, I start to go again & the dipshit is yelling at me, saying he signaled, so I should somehow have known what he was doing. Fucking people. 

This move is OK when pulling a gooseneck trailer.  At all other times, this move is cause for immediate removal from the park grounds.

 

[Steel Shank 9432]

4 hours ago, utee94 said:

I wish I could say the same, or that I'd never seen it at all, but I've seen it many times.  Absolutely mind-bottling.

 

Something similar I've noticed recently on roads with 2 lanes going in each direction, when there are pretty large curves, is the driver in the outside lane cutting off the curve and actually coming into the inside lane.  If there's nobody there, there's no real harm done, but I've had people almost hit me when I was on the inside lane and they just drifted across the line like they had every right to take up two lanes.  I have no idea what they're thinking.

[utee94 15869]

2 hours ago, Apep said:

I don't doubt that people ignore the signage and lane markings all the time, but people also do it the wrong way on <30 ft medians by not turning around the near corner. Both are great examples of jackassery. But lately, there has been a movement to get people to treat the method for >30 ft medians as the method for all medians, which screws things up even worse.

I've never seen anyone do the latter, not even once. I've seen scores if not hundreds do the former, ignoring the signs but really it's  because they don't even know the laws and to look for the signs.  So I consider that to be a far bigger problem.  

 

You can yell at your cloud I guess, and I'll yell at mine.

Edited May 2, 2018 by utee94

[Bert Orange 1121]

I’ll clarify so there is no confusion. I am referring to a “median” of <30ft in width (the same width where as posted above, someone has just enough width to fit their car into it and people often leave their ass end out) and a spread of about two cars, where there are no turning lanes, on a divided road.  So when both pull in (assuming two car asses are not out infuriating both directions) as the law states, then neither is able to view oncoming traffic and the drivers just get to stare at each other and pray when they pull out that there is no oncoming traffic. Don’t give a shit what the law says. It’s unsafe practice and completely counterintuitive. 

[Johnny Sack 8397]

1 hour ago, Bert Orange said:

I’ll clarify so there is no confusion. I am referring to a “median” of <30ft in width (the same width where as posted above, someone has just enough width to fit their car into it and people often leave their ass end out) and a spread of about two cars, where there are no turning lanes, on a divided road.  So when both pull in (assuming two car asses are not out infuriating both directions) as the law states, then neither is able to view oncoming traffic and the drivers just get to stare at each other and pray when they pull out that there is no oncoming traffic. Don’t give a shit what the law says. It’s unsafe practice and completely counterintuitive. 

Yep.

[ChickenSandwich 9856]

cunt on Mopac forcing her way across 4 lanes of Mopac at 800 am in the span of 100yrds to get to the toll lane.

nice dealer plates..red vovlo 3FV-...

[elfenix 34341]

some fucking middle aged realtor wannabe in her ML350 damn near ran me off the road just now coming straight into my lane out of the left turn lane.  should have let dumb bitch run into me, that would have popped her fucking bubble that she's wrapped herself in.  fuck.  so fucking surly right now. 

Edited May 10, 2018 by elfenix

[elfenix 34341]

and just now some asshole in a 4runner decided he didn't like being in the righthand lane on I-10 and moved left into my lane, with me right there next to him.  i laid on the horn at his dumb ass and he just came right on over.  had to slam on the gotdamn brakes.  asshole had the gall to wave at me.  why the fuck do you keep coming over when you hear a horn right next to you? 

Edited May 24, 2018 by elfenix

[mushroomface 62]

Pull up to turn left. Both lanes turn left, and this asshole left three-four car lengths in front of him, backing up traffic even more at a terrible intersection.

[SilasCoade 2622]

This comes up all the time b/c I live in a place with infrastructure for a tenth of the current population. Sitting at a green light but traffic is backed up from the next light. The right thing to do is not enter the intersection until you know you can clear it so as not to impede cross traffic when the light changes. 100% of the time some dickhole will turn right from the cross street adding to the congestion and preempting my right of way.

[SHOOTER12 8836]

On 5/2/2018 at 8:35 AM, Bert Orange said:

Two cars turning left in a median. You FUCKING DRIVE PAST EACH OTHER so you can each FUCKING SEE ONCOMING TRAFFIC. it’s like people want to intentionally block your view and have their view obstructed. It’s dangerous and stupid. 

^^^This right here dammit.  Happens every damned day here in Houston, learn to drive people.

Another thing that happens nearly as often is assholes that pass you in the fast lane, pull back into the middle lane and then....slow down??? WTH, this happens every weekend on 59 NB and SB when I'm coming to or leaving work.  I'll be doing 75 or so in the fast lane and someone will come up behind me so I get in the center lane, they quickly pass pull back into the center lane and slow down to 70 or less....selfish asshole bastids.

[Uncle Nate 2097]

Haven't read the whole thread...so forgive me if this has already been mentioned:

When you have two signs that say "Yield to Ramp"...that means when a car is coming off the exit ramp, and you are on the frontage road, you need to yield to them.  That means actually slowing down, applying the brakes, and letting them go in front of you so you don't hit them.

In the DFW area, no one has ever understood this concept. 

Edited June 6, 2018 by Uncle Nate

[TheStoicPaisano 9939]

11 hours ago, Llogg said:

This comes up all the time b/c I live in a place with infrastructure for a tenth of the current population. Sitting at a green light but traffic is backed up from the next light. The right thing to do is not enter the intersection until you know you can clear it so as not to impede cross traffic when the light changes. 100% of the time some dickhole will turn right from the cross street adding to the congestion and preempting my right of way.

Are there not fines for shit like that? In NY/NJ it’s called blocking the box and 300 if you get popped for it.

Edited June 6, 2018 by TheStoicPaisano

[SilasCoade 2622]

13 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

Are there not fines for shit like that? In NY/NJ it’s called blocking the box and 300 if you get popped for it.

LOL, cops.

[utee94 15869]

21 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

Are there not fines for shit like that? In NY/NJ it’s called blocking the box and 300 if you get popped for it.

They don't typically block the box when they do this, they just squeeze into the space where YOU had the right of way to go, if they hadn't been such an asshole.  

Edited June 6, 2018 by utee94

[po elvis 2081]

20 minutes ago, utee94 said:

They don't typically block the box when they do this, they just squeeze into the space where YOU had the right of way to go, if they hadn't been such an asshole.  

the thing is it doesn't really help them. they get to turn right when the light turns green. they aren't going anywhere until then because it is backed up. all it does is screw the car that needs to get through the intersection on their green light when that spot becomes available.

[elfenix 34341]

I must be the only mother fucker in this entire fucking city that knows you're supposed to stop at malfunctioning traffic lights

[elfenix 34341]

On 6/6/2018 at 8:45 AM, SHOOTER12 said:

^^^This right here dammit.  Happens every damned day here in Houston, learn to drive people.

Another thing that happens nearly as often is assholes that pass you in the fast lane, pull back into the middle lane and then....slow down??? WTH, this happens every weekend on 59 NB and SB when I'm coming to or leaving work.  I'll be doing 75 or so in the fast lane and someone will come up behind me so I get in the center lane, they quickly pass pull back into the center lane and slow down to 70 or less....selfish asshole bastids.

 

http://onlinemanuals.txdot.gov/txdotmanuals/sfb/divided_highway_intersections_and_crossovers.htm

[NorthLoop 14254]

I see this one a lot on 35.... I'm in the left lane stuck behind a slow fuck. I'm about to make a move to pass on the right but wait because I see another car flying up the middle lane. When he passes I fall in behind him, except as soon as he levels with the slow car he FUCKING SLOWS DOWN and matches the slow car. Happens every fucking time. 

[wood 11286]

So it seems a lot of the neighborhood folks down here in the '49 have figgered out you don't have to stop when exiting southbound Mopac and turning west onto Davis. But there are still the moronic few who can't quite grasp the concept and come to a complete fucking stop for like 10 seconds. Mind-blowing shit. I mean how fucking hard is it to figure out that when you have a "Yield to Bicycles and Pedestrians" sign, then you don't have a stop sign?!?!?

And now because of the construction we have a shitload of extra folks taking Davis instead of Slaughter to get to Brodie, and rather than waiting in the left lane to turn left onto Davis, they're turning right & then u-turning immediately to go back east. So now I have to wait in a fucking line to turn left off of Davis, and when I want to leave my house, there's always some numbnuts u-turning into me when I'm turning right onto Davis. Fucking unreal. /csb /rant, for now

 

So how long is this construction supposed to take? That shit can't end soon enough with all the extra Circle C & other invading morons lowering the IQ 'round here.

Edited June 16, 2018 by wood

[WhatTheBuck 28811]

On June 15, 2018 at 6:14 PM, elfenix said:

I must be the only mother fucker in this entire fucking city that knows you're supposed to stop at malfunctioning traffic lights

I have it pretty good in that most of the time the drivers around where I live know to treat them like four-way stops. What always baffles me is when some idiot watches a half dozen or more drivers execute it properly and still guns it and follows the person in front of him through the intersection out of turn. 

[wood 11286]

42 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I have it pretty good in that most of the time the drivers around where I live know to treat them like four-way stops. What always baffles me is when some idiot watches a half dozen or more drivers execute it properly and still guns it and follows the person in front of him through the intersection out of turn. 

Yep. Not sure which is worse, that, or when it's their turn & they don't go.

[Guest Lobo]

Bee Caves Road/2244 approaching MoPac.  The two left lanes are left turn only.  The people in the far left lane bleed into the middle lane constantly.  I'm nearly in a reck a couple times a week at that intersection because the people in the left lane just keep driving straight and don't notice a whole other lane of traffic is next to them.  Infuriates me.  And they look at you like you're crazy.  If my daughter is not in the car, I may just let one of them hit me so I can sue them.  They'll get out of their car thinking it's my fault until they look at the dashed white lines they just crossed illegally.   

[Lobwedgephil 1139]

A true American Hero. 

 

[utee94 15869]

God Bless Sgt. Stephen Wheeles.

[TornACL 7729]

On ‎6‎/‎6‎/‎2018 at 8:51 AM, Uncle Nate said:

Haven't read the whole thread...so forgive me if this has already been mentioned:

When you have two signs that say "Yield to Ramp"...that means when a car is coming off the exit ramp, and you are on the frontage road, you need to yield to them.  That means actually slowing down, applying the brakes, and letting them go in front of you so you don't hit them.

In the DFW area, no one has ever understood this concept. 

In many place, people interpret this to mean "come to a complete stop and don't start moving until the exiting vehicle is 100 yards in front of you"

Drives me fucking crazy.

[Gene Parmesan 4016]

I stick to the left lane is for passing only in most applications, but I am curious how it applies in rush hour traffic when all lanes are pretty much gummed up.  I usually get on and move to the left because it's generally faster and go as fast as the car in front of me allows, but when it all starts becoming a stale mate is everyone in the left lane an asshole or is it pretty much just a free for all then?

[Lone Star Horn 2018]

Basically, if you're in the left lane and there is no one n front of you, and you can safely move into the middle lane, do so. 

Obviously this isn't possible in high traffic/rush hour situations. Even then, there are always some slow idiots in the left lane, that if they moved over, the traffic would move smoother.

My rule of thumb is, if there is someone in front of me in the left lane, I do not typically move over. Unless I can pass the selfish asshole on the right.

[NameAlreadyInUse 5132]

If you are ever on a highway and get passed on the right, you are driving too fucking slow for your lane and need to move to the right.  If you don't, you are an asshole.  That's true whether you are driving 40 or 80 on any highway with 2 lanes or more.  There are big black and white signs all over the state that tell you this.  "Slower traffic keep right."  Its in black and white to indicate its a statute and you can be ticketed for not following that rule of the road. I'm heartened to see a trooper actually enforcing that law.  I don't think I've ever heard of anyone who has been pulled over for that in my entire life up to this point.

[wood 11286]

6 hours ago, Lobwedgephil said:

A true American Hero. 

 

He needs a bad mutha fucka belt buckle.

83k likes, 28k retweets. Wow.

[WhatTheBuck 28811]

Too bad there weren't three lanes so she could get stuck in the middle.