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The stupidest worst selfish asshole things dumbasses do on the road

wood

By wood
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elfenix

elfenix 34331

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elfenix's general guide to highway driving:

1.  keep out of the leftmost lane if you're not passing someone and there is space in the right lane(s) to move into.

2. if you're in a 4+ lane highway with exit/entrance ramps every mile or so (many urban freeways in texas), stay out of the rightmost lane unless entering/exiting because other people need to enter/exit and you're in their way.

3. try not to pass anyone on the right, it's harder for them to see you coming so they're more likely to move into you.  that means giving left lane campers an opportunity to do the right thing and move over. 

Edited by elfenix
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deadshank

deadshank 24653

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7 minutes ago, elfenix said:

elfenix's general guide to highway driving:

1.  keep out of the leftmost lane if you're not passing someone and there is space in the right lane(s) to move into.

2. if you're in a 4+ lane highway with exit/entrance ramps every mile or so (many urban freeways in texas), stay out of the rightmost lane unless entering/exiting because other people need to enter/exit and you're in their way.

3. try not to pass anyone on the right, it's harder for them to see you coming so they're more likely to move into you.  that means giving left lane campers an opportunity to do the right thing and move over. 

TL; DR

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Celery Man

Celery Man 20984

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If you are ever on a highway and get passed on the right, you are driving too fucking slow for your lane and need to move to the right.  If you don't, you are an asshole.  That's true whether you are driving 40 or 80 on any highway with 2 lanes or more.  There are big black and white signs all over the state that tell you this.  "Slower traffic keep right."  Its in black and white to indicate its a statute and you can be ticketed for not following that rule of the road. I'm heartened to see a trooper actually enforcing that law.  I don't think I've ever heard of anyone who has been pulled over for that in my entire life up to this point.


Unless you are in rush hour traffic in a place like Austin. If I get passed on the right on 35 and we’re both going between 5 and 10 miles per hour, it’s not on me. I’d be going faster if I could, I would like to be passing all of these cars in the right, it is rush hour.
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elfenix

elfenix 34331

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2 hours ago, Celery Man said:

 


Unless you are in rush hour traffic in a place like Austin. If I get passed on the right on 35 and we’re both going between 5 and 10 miles per hour, it’s not on me. I’d be going faster if I could, I would like to be passing all of these cars in the right, it is rush hour.

 

and chances are you're going to pass that person a quarter mile on down the road anyway.  traffic would go even slower if everyone were changing lanes because the car effectively takes twice the space on the highway while changing lanes.  which is why weaves are bad (thanks txdot aggy!)

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Dertyberd

Dertyberd 394

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Driving grey fucking cars without lights on during a sunless grey morning downpour to make sure no one can see you flying down the middle lane.  Dark cars in general driving without their lights on during said storms, but for some reason idiots who drive grey/silver cars never turn their lights on.  Fuck you.  

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wood

wood 11231

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People that are waiting at a stop sign & it's their turn, but they won't go until an approaching car comes to a complete stop, even when it's obvious that they're stopping. These fucking people slow all-way stops more than anything else does.

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XYZ

XYZ 2154

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8 hours ago, Dertyberd said:

Driving grey fucking cars without lights on during a sunless grey morning downpour to make sure no one can see you flying down the middle lane.  Dark cars in general driving without their lights on during said storms, but for some reason idiots who drive grey/silver cars never turn their lights on.  Fuck you.  

Yeah, this. People who drive with their lights off in low visibility conditions, fuck them.

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Deej

Deej 76876

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1 hour ago, woohorn said:

Aren't lights all "auto" now? I don't even know when mine are on.

In my neighborhood, 95% of cars are 15 years old. They ain't got that automatic shit. They don't have working turn signals, or brake lights, either.

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wood

wood 11231

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Davis & Mopac ... just ...smh. Wow. Just came through there & was trying to turn west onto Davis as usual. Car 2 cars ahead makes a little pause at the turn. Unnecessary & fucking annoying, but not a huge deal. Then the car in front of me gets to the turn and just stops. Sits there for like 30 seconds while other cars are going. I tap the horn and she just flips me off. She finally moves slowly forward, starting to turn right, and then she just yanks the wheel to the left, cuts across the straight-through westbound lane and in front of a westbound car coming through there, before the landscaping in the median. She cuts across him and then keeps turning left to do a u-turn & go east --- right at the off ramp/right turn --- she just pulls a 180 right in the middle of everything. Fuck everyone! I thought I had seen it all right there. I guess not. Unreal.

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Uncle Nate

Uncle Nate 2097

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On 6/19/2018 at 10:42 PM, hookem48 said:

motherfuckers driving slow in the fast lane, finally moving over and then speed up

There is a special place in hell for them.  Same place for the guy in the left lane who speeds up when I try and pass him on the right.

Truly evil, they are.

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capnamerca

capnamerca 572

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On 6/19/2018 at 11:28 PM, NorthLoop said:

Another one I encounter is the guy in the left lane who is keeping pace with the next car in the left lane, but is a good 75 yards behind him. This guy thinks "there's someone in front of me, I"M not the asshole".... yeah dude, you are. 

Fuck you for hating my proper following distance. 

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Dewey

Dewey 3286

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I have an issue with the slow driver who creeps through the yellow light and leaves me sitting on red. Even worse, when they are driving slow as fuck and speed up to get through the light as it turns red.

People need to stop fucking around on their phones or whatever else is in the car and drive.

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Gene Parmesan

Gene Parmesan 4008

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While not a danger, I hate the driver that stops at a stop light with a large gap in the car in front then proceeds to move forward several feet every few seconds over the course of the red light.  It really bugs me know that my engine has an auto start/stop feature, and it ends up shutting down and starting up multiple times in one light cycle. 

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Gene Parmesan

Gene Parmesan 4008

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1 minute ago, po elvis said:

when i am in the left lane and have the correct buffer in between me and the car in front of me, do not try and cut in front of me. i will speed up and not let you in.

The people that do this to avoid a backed up turn lane or exit are going straight to hell, and the cars that aren't paying attention creating the opportunities for it to continue are going there with them.

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deadshank

deadshank 24653

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1 hour ago, phdhorn said:

Translation:  On the road, e'r'ybody's dumber than your ass.

I seem to recall George Carlin commenting on "other" drivers.  He said anyone driving slower than you is a f'in idiot and anyone driving faster than you is an f'in maniac.

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NameAlreadyInUse

NameAlreadyInUse 5114

Posted
Posted (edited)
49 minutes ago, po elvis said:

when i am in the left lane and have the correct buffer in between me and the car in front of me, do not try and cut in front of me. i will speed up and not let you in.

If you are in the left lane and getting passed on the right, you shouldn't be in the left lane.  It's against the law, and it's rude.

Edited to clarify I'm talking about driving on the highway.

 

Edited by NameAlreadyInUse
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po elvis

po elvis 2076

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18 minutes ago, NameAlreadyInUse said:

If you are in the left lane and getting passed on the right, you shouldn't be in the left lane.  It's against the law, and it's rude.

Edited to clarify I'm talking about driving on the highway.

 

There is a steady stream of cars in the left lane. I am on of them. We are going 75. I am 3 or 4 car lengths behind the guy in front of me. Technically supposed to be like 7 car lengths but too me that seems a little excessive. We are going faster than the middle lane of traffic. There is a spot where a car from behind can get in the middle lane and then try and get in front of me because he sees some space. fuck him. that is my buffer. so many cars in the left lane get right on the car in front of theirs' ass even though there are cars in front of that car. these drivers should not be on the road.

 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26438

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4 minutes ago, po elvis said:

There is a steady stream of cars in the left lane. I am on of them. We are going 75. I am 3 or 4 car lengths behind the guy in front of me. Technically supposed to be like 7 car lengths but too me that seems a little excessive. We are going faster than the middle lane of traffic. There is a spot where a car from behind can get in the middle lane and then try and get in front of me because he sees some space. fuck him. that is my buffer. so many cars in the left lane get right on the car in front of theirs' ass even though there are cars in front of that car. these drivers should not be on the road.

 

It's not a travel lane. That's where the issue starts. Doesn't matter who's doing what speed. The left lane is for PASSING. Make your pass and MOVE THE FUCK OVER.

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Lone Star Horn

Lone Star Horn 2018

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5 minutes ago, po elvis said:

There is a steady stream of cars in the left lane. I am on of them. We are going 75. I am 3 or 4 car lengths behind the guy in front of me. Technically supposed to be like 7 car lengths but too me that seems a little excessive. We are going faster than the middle lane of traffic. There is a spot where a car from behind can get in the middle lane and then try and get in front of me because he sees some space. fuck him. that is my buffer. so many cars in the left lane get right on the car in front of theirs' ass even though there are cars in front of that car. these drivers should not be on the road.

 

That is true, however I have seen that the car in front of you would tend to move over to the middle lane if you were a little bit closer to them. eventually you get to the moron in front of the pack that is slowing everyone down. Ride his ass until he moves over, then everyone gets to go faster.

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po elvis

po elvis 2076

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10 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

It's not a travel lane. That's where the issue starts. Doesn't matter who's doing what speed. The left lane is for PASSING. Make your pass and MOVE THE FUCK OVER.

i totally agree with the pass and move over thing. i do not ride in the left lane if i don't have to. i am obviously not talking about that situation. it is where the left lane is full of cars that are steadily passing slower traffic in the middle lane. who moves over into the middle when there is more traffic coming up quickly in the middle that you will have to pass again? that would be dangerous and stupid if everyone went back and forth like that.

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Gene Parmesan

Gene Parmesan 4008

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7 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

It's not a travel lane. That's where the issue starts. Doesn't matter who's doing what speed. The left lane is for PASSING. Make your pass and MOVE THE FUCK OVER.

It's not about speed but it absolutely is about traffic.  If it's wide open your assertion is correct, but the more cars you add there comes a point where no one is actively passing in the left lane and everyone except the very last car in line(I suppose) should move over under that logic.  That would be infinitely more disastrous than cars in the left lane safely spaced. 

A three lane highway with everyone driving in the right 2 lanes you wouldn't be the only guy who wants to get in the left and pass everybody.

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po elvis

po elvis 2076

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1 minute ago, wood said:

The people who just passively ride along behind the asshole who's holding everyone up in the left lane are just as bad/almost as bad as the guy in the front causing the jam.

what about the guy that is passively riding behind the 12th car behind the guy causing the jam? do you suggest that every car get within a half car length behind the car in front of them?

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Gene Parmesan

Gene Parmesan 4008

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10 minutes ago, po elvis said:

what about the guy that is passively riding behind the 12th car behind the guy causing the jam? do you suggest that every car get within a half car length behind the car in front of them?

The left lane should be completely clear when I roll up.  I am the only person with the bright idea of wanting to drive faster. 

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Apep

Apep 645

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Leftward creep causes as much of the backup in the left lane as left lane hogs. When there are three or more lanes on the highway, drivers almost invariably leave the right lane and take up residence in the middle lane(s) regardless of their speed. This leads to tailgating and large clumps of drivers in the middle lanes, which makes it difficult and even dangerous to move between the passing lane and the middle lane(s). Up here in DFW, at least, it is so bad that the right lane is often virtually empty. This leads to the middle lane(s) traveling at a certain speed, a slightly faster left lane that can't move over, and a right lane that is a light mix of the very slow and the very fast.

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elfenix

elfenix 34331

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1 hour ago, wood said:

The people who just passively ride along behind the asshole who's holding everyone up in the left lane are just as bad/almost as bad as the guy in the front causing the jam.

good ol' 2 lane I-10 from houston to san antonio.  what a fucking cluster.  plenty of space in the right lane but everyone is jammed up in the left because there's an 18 wheeler in the right a couple hundred yards or so ahead and someone barely going faster than the 18 wheeler is taking their sweet time "passing."

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wood

wood 11231

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1 hour ago, po elvis said:

what about the guy that is passively riding behind the 12th car behind the guy causing the jam? do you suggest that every car get within a half car length behind the car in front of them?

I'm talking about the people clearly just cruising in the left lane, leaving a big ol' gap to the guy in front, with no intention of trying to move the people in front out of the way or put any pressure on them to move. When you're driving, it's pretty clear which ones these assholes are.

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hayden_horn

hayden_horn 11365

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people who tailgate in traffic. look motherfuck, i understand you want to go faster. i want to go faster. we all want to go faster, but there are too many cars on the road, asshole. get off my bumper. then they get a whiff of space and tear around you, giving you a look. then you pull right up next to them at the next red light. fucker. who gets the look now?

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deadshank

deadshank 24653

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42 minutes ago, elfenix said:

good ol' 2 lane I-10 from houston to san antonio.  what a fucking cluster.  plenty of space in the right lane but everyone is jammed up in the left because there's an 18 wheeler in the right a couple hundred yards or so ahead and someone barely going faster than the 18 wheeler is taking their sweet time "passing."

Related image

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wood

wood 11231

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4 minutes ago, hayden_horn said:

people who tailgate in traffic. look motherfuck, i understand you want to go faster. i want to go faster. we all want to go faster, but there are too many cars on the road, asshole. get off my bumper. then they get a whiff of space and tear around you, giving you a look. then you pull right up next to them at the next red light. fucker. who gets the look now?

I hear you, but then there are plenty of times I get stuck behind some slow fuck and finally get around them, only to get stuck at a light that turns red just afterward. Then they give me some shitty look, when I woulda made that light easily had I not been stuck behind their slow ass. No excuse for tailgating though, for sure.

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hayden_horn

hayden_horn 11365

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Just now, wood said:

I hear you, but then there are plenty of times I get stuck behind some slow fuck and finally get around them, on;ly to0 get stuck at a light that turns red just afterward. Then they give me some shitty look, when I woulda made that light easily had I not been stuck behind their slow ass. No excuse for tailgating though, for sure.

well, i'll go as fast as traffic allows. westgate lane at 5:30 is not going to be a fast travel road. we're all probably stopping at a couple of lights. there's probably not a lot of space between me and the car in front of me, but i won't tailgate him so you can feel alright about being behind me. i'm going 38 in a 35, and there's no where else to go, man. (that's the royal you, you know, the editorial)

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wood

wood 11231

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1 minute ago, hayden_horn said:

well, i'll go as fast as traffic allows. westgate lane at 5:30 is not going to be a fast travel road. we're all probably stopping at a couple of lights. there's probably not a lot of space between me and the car in front of me, but i won't tailgate him so you can feel alright about being behind me. i'm going 38 in a 35, and there's no where else to go, man. (that's the royal you, you know, the editorial)

Yeah rush hour is not the situation I'm talking about. 

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