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Lincoln Riley clubs puppies, hates America, and says the SEC is underrated


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Posted

Lincoln: 

1.  wipes from back to front

2. leaves his shopping cart behind your car

3. Fingers the mashed potatoes before dinner is served and licks his fingers before grabbing the serving spoon all while right ahead of you in line at the Golden Coral

4. Turns off the AC for those in the back seat because he's cold from having the AC on full blast because he took the front seat.  

 

  • Haha 1
Posted

Lincoln Riley doesn't know how to change a flat tire.

Lincoln Riley thinks Metallica got better after they cut their hair and slowed things down.

Lincoln Riley's favorite movie is The Notebook.

Lincoln Riley thinks smaller boobs are better.

Posted
18 minutes ago, DeweyCox said:

Is not 40. Does not like to shit with the door open, talk about pussy, go on riverboat gambling trips, or make his own beef jerky.

That's not what he does

Posted
1 minute ago, Redneck Mutha said:

Lincoln Riley empties his RV holding tank in the storm drain in front of your house, wearing only a sooner red hat and bathrobe.

Even if the shitter's not full

Posted

Lincoln Riley thinks Tacos are overrated.

Lincoln Riley thinks there is no homeless crisis in Austin.

Lincoln Riley prefers group texts.

Lincoln Riley thinks scooters are the future of transportation.

Lincoln Riley thinks Jar Jar Binks is the best Star Wars character.

Lincoln Riley prefers Dickey's BBQ.

Lincoln Riley wears skinny jeans. 

Posted

Lincoln Riley eats NY pizza with a proper fork and knife.
Lincoln Riley rats out his friends to their wives after a night of getting fucked up and flirting with randoms.
Lincoln Riley sneaks in flasks on $1 shot nights(still a thing in Methahoma).

That’s all I got.

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