Lincoln Riley clubs puppies, hates America, and says the SEC is underrated

[HornOnTheBayou 8,922]

Lincoln Riley thinks Whataburger being sold to Midwesterners was a great move and will really breathe new life into the franchise.

[Mother mopar 3,318]

Lincoln Riley drives a chevy

[Shaggy3.0 1,695]

Lincoln Riley prematurely ejaculates to pics of himself.



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[Chilly Water 415]

Lincoln Riley wears an apron while washing dishes at his kitchen sink.

When Lincoln Riley’s wife leaves to go to book club meetings, he gets naked in front of a mirror and tucks his dick in so he can take selfies in her lingerie to update his Grindr profile.

Lincoln Riley and his wife sleep in bunk beds. He made her take the top bunk so he can sneak into the closet to jerk off undetected.

 

[Helobious 9,448]

Lincoln Riley got friendzoned by South Austin’s mom.

[Nueces River Rat 5,538]

Lincoln Riley keeps his ear wax in zip loc bag

[Mikey4 2,476]

Lincoln Riley thinks we need more trigger warnings.

[Shaggy3.0 1,695]

Lincoln Riley PAYS for internet porn.




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[Topper13 3,268]

Lincoln Riley sucks dick for pocket change behind the Pepsi machine in the Greyhound station.

[MrPhlegm 3,413]

Lincoln Riley fucks fitlump.

[El Squared 1,802]

Lincoln Riley uses single ply 40 grit toilet paper and likes it when his fingers break through.

[El Squared 1,802]

Lincoln Riley gets out of a shower to piss.

[El Squared 1,802]

Lincoln Riley puts plastic silverware in paper-only recycling bins, and laughs about it all night long...

[burntorangebongos 10,710]

Lincoln Riley thinks Bill Miller's BBQ is the best. 

Lincoln Riley wants to be best friends with Governor Hot Wheels and Dan Patrick.

[Nueces River Rat 5,538]

Lincoln Riley thinks Subway BBQ is awesome. 

[Rimbo 25,928]

Lincoln Riley borrows your good tools and doesn't return them.

[Rimbo 25,928]

Lincoln Riley's favorite show is Barney & Friends.

[Rimbo 25,928]

Lincoln Riley blurs out the good bits in Japanese porn.

[Rimbo 25,928]

Lincoln Riley subscribes to TexAgs.

[Rimbo 25,928]

Lincoln Riley thinks Country needs to be getting back to old, legendary acts like Florida-Georgia Line.

Lincoln Riley likes autotune.

 

[Rimbo 25,928]

Lincoln Riley thinks Taco Bell is the best Mexican food he's ever had.

[Dbeasy 15,049]

Lincoln Riley thinks Hank Scorpio isn’t funny.

[millhouse 2,604]

Lincoln Riley likes fourloko better without the caffeine 

[Shaggy3.0 1,695]

Lincoln Riley loves to cock-block someone else’s cock-block move.


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[chesthair 231]

Lincoln Riley thinks joe mixon should'a given that chick another right hook. 

[Eskimohorn 5,635]

Lincoln Riley favors Garfunkel, Oates, and Andrew Ridgeley over Simon, Hall, and George Michael.

[SA-KC_Horn 1,295]

Lincoln Riley adopts dogs from the animal shelter and then dumps them on the side of the road.

[Dnaguy 11,957]

7 hours ago, El Squared said:

Lincoln Riley gets out of a shower to piss.

And stays in to shit.

[Dnaguy 11,957]

Lincoln Riley schedules baby showers on Saturdays during football season.

[Dnaguy 11,957]

Lincoln Riley would rather drink a White Claw.

[EastTexan 662]

Lincoln Riley drinks Mr Pibb and hates Dr Pepper.

ousux!

[EastTexan 662]

Lincoln Riley sleeps between a Switzer and Stoops blow up dolls.

[Eggo 3,977]

21 hours ago, Girdwood said:

Lincoln Riley has a stomach tat

[Eskimohorn 5,635]

Lincoln Riley wants to change his name to John Wilkes Riley

[54_Strat 34]

Lincoln Riley cooks his brisket in the oven

Edited October 7, 2019 by 54_Strat

[ABSR 5,311]

Lincoln Riley thinks Police Officers are heroes. 

[Tailgate 3,021]

Lincoln lobbied hard to get Rick Astley to play Super Bowl halftime.

 

[ztejas 43,425]

Lincoln Riley can't see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch 

[Pig Bellmont 8,717]

Lincoln Riley needlepoints pillows that say “live laugh love”

[Longboard Horn 40,318]

Lincoln Riley eats at the chum bucket

[Longboard Horn 40,318]

Lincoln Riley thinks that Greedo shot first

[lemonandaturd 4,285]

Lincoln Riley wishes KKL was his groupie.  

[utee94 15,821]

Lincoln Riley loves Kirk Herbstreit's opinions.

 

 

[deadshank 24,652]

Lincoln Riley took the "O" out of Country.

[Lerka Lerka 1,086]

Lincoln Riley follows Chip Brown and Kurt Bohls on Twitter. 

[ChiTownDoc 21,154]

3 hours ago, Tailgate said:

Lincoln lobbied hard to get Rick Astley to play Super Bowl halftime.

 

This would be badass.  

[Gambrinus 51]

Lincoln Riley watches reruns of the Bachelor.

[texashorne 1,177]

Lincoln Riley writes/directs all of the TV ads for Dr. Pepper. 

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

Lincoln Riley's mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

[SA-KC_Horn 1,295]

Lincoln Riley puts stock into Katfid's recruiting analysis.