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Surly Dad Thread

BigDHornfan

By BigDHornfan
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ocugolf
ocugolf

Many of you know my story. Lost a daughter to still birth at 8 months about 6 years ago. Well after 6 years of frustration, disappointment, hundreds of thousands of dollars in doctor bills for IUI, IV

closetojumping
closetojumping

My 8th grader got into St. John's! The counselor told me about it last night, early, because he was excited to get him. The boy has been diagnosed with autism and is enduring his third straight year i

scottsins
scottsins

Hi guys! Just posting from our hospital room. Not even sure what day it is, but I’m all up in this thread now, after the arrival of my first and last born spawn at the spry age of 49. Do I get an o

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T’Boo Ted Marshall

T’Boo Ted Marshall 2740

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Got a great report for our 6 yo son in Kinder. Second best reader in all the classes, aces in math and then she told us he tells the other kids where they are tardy. Oh man you mean he’s like the hall monitor? Oh hell no.
Yes, he also helps remind the teacher of things she may or may not forget, which she asked him to do.

Had to have a family meeting last night.

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Jkwellborn

Jkwellborn 6747

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Got a great report for our 6 yo son in Kinder. Second best reader in all the classes, aces in math and then she told us he tells the other kids where they are tardy. Oh man you mean he’s like the hall monitor? Oh hell no.
Yes, he also helps remind the teacher of things she may or may not forget, which she asked him to do.

Had to have a family meeting last night.
Did you tell him snitches get stitches?
Or the Natural Family Planning thread. 

Or maybe the buttsecks thread.
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Modessit

Modessit 5606

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I wasn't a snitch but I often corrected my teachers - but not on stuff like "didn't you say we were going to take a test today?". It was more like "you just said Montpelier is the capital of Virginia but it's actually the capital of Vermont". They get on autopilot from teaching the same lesson over and over that they sometimes don't realize when they misspeak.

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NotActuallyALonghorn

NotActuallyALonghorn 4977

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11 hours ago, tjhooker said:

Or the Natural Family Planning thread. 

If you're married or in a long term relationship and the woman is down with checking her temperature every morning and stuff, the syptothermal method beats any other method of protection hands down. Use it to prevent pregnancy, or use it to get pregnant. And if you still want to do it when she is fertile there are always rubbers.

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Posted
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16 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Got a great report for our 6 yo son in Kinder. Second best reader in all the classes, aces in math and then she told us he tells the other kids where they are tardy. Oh man you mean he’s like the hall monitor? Oh hell no.
Yes, he also helps remind the teacher of things she may or may not forget, which she asked him to do.

Had to have a family meeting last night.

He's gonna be banging his teacher by the 10th grade...

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Lobwedgephil

Lobwedgephil 1139

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3 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Anybody else having he flu tear through their kids school?  Or at least rearing it’s ugly head.  Kicking our asses, even with Tamiflu.  This is March, not January. 

Nope, just two twins getting diagnosed with pneumonia in 2 days, but hey, no flu. 

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Jkwellborn

Jkwellborn 6747

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So I know I'm being a typical paranoid new dad but how many times did yall stick your finger under your baby's nose because that motherfucker was being way too damn still to be alive

Shit, there’s no telling how many times I’ve done that. Put my hand on their chest if I can’t see them breath. I’ve woke both of my kids doing it. That was probably my biggest fear as a parent. Heck, I woke my 8 yr old daughter up checking her the other night.
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Dutchrudder

Dutchrudder 11152

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So I know I'm being a typical paranoid new dad but how many times did yall stick your finger under your baby's nose because that motherfucker was being way too damn still to be alive
Same here, but we had a nephew die to SIDS about 6 years ago, so we are extra paranoid about it. I sometimes talk to him on the baby monitor to induce his startle reflex. It's kind of funny to watch, but I just need to know hes ok.
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Thatguy

Thatguy 8876

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On 3/13/2019 at 9:12 AM, Goofyboy said:

c0c8530e256f58534f4da408a54ab0d3.jpg

1 day at LegoLand. Said it was the best day ever. We rode the Technic rollercoaster and now he’s hooked. Six Flags is in our future.

  I've made the mistake of doing whatever that guy in the back is doing to get that look from his wife.........poor chap!

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Thatguy

Thatguy 8876

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On 3/10/2019 at 9:58 AM, Bert Orange said:

Middle school daughter turns 13 today and this thread is talking about middle school condom purchases. Fuck outta here with that shit. 

    Yep. These are the fathers of boys who keep us awake worrying all night. No way in the world should any kid in middle school be fucking anything. Fact. You shouldn't have anywhere to go to do the deed even if you wanted to.

   Quick story. I was walking to my car at the mall in broad daylight. Couldn't have been later than 5:30pm. There was a car running in the parking lot. I noticed because it was parked in the middle by itself. That's when I saw this kid's naked ass slowly rising and lowering in and out of view. I walked over there and sure as shit some kid is fucking a girl in the passenger seat, and they are completely naked, no tint on the windows. I started to go away and mind my own business, but having a daughter myself, my conscious wouldn't allow it. About that time I saw security and motioned him over to me. He comes over right next to me, and these kids have no idea we are standing there. Lol. Security guy hits his police horn, and this kid freaks out and jumps up, hard dick(no condom) and all, gets in the passenger seat and tears off. So I saved one of your kids from getting pregnant. You're welcome. Hope you do the same for mine. BTW, security guy says that happens all the time. So when your kid says she is going to the mall with Johnny realize what she means.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8832

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

So I know I'm being a typical paranoid new dad but how many times did yall stick your finger under your baby's nose because that motherfucker was being way too damn still to be alive :D

I'm not saying a word...

Edited by SHOOTER12
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Thatguy

Thatguy 8876

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Posted (edited)

   Segway to this.

 

     As a dad of a daughter I always told myself that I would let my kid be a kid, but these are not innocent times. Kids do weird shit, and nowadays those mistakes are around forever. My daughter is 10 and doesn't have a phone. However, she does have a tablet. Her tablet was connected to my phone so any app she downloaded she had to ask me. However, my wife got annoyed with the process and changed it so it was connected to hers. Meanwhile, she isn't the most hip mom on the block. I pick up my kid's tablet and start browsing on there until I come across Music.ly/Tik Tok app. Knowing full well what it was I immediately start combing through it. Sure as shit there are a couple vids of her trying to be cute and dancing in front of the camera. I delete them immediately, and then the app. I have a talk with her, and then proceed to have a long talk with my wife about knowing what something is before you allow your kid to download it. My wife is from well to do stock, and doesn't see the world for the evil it is.

   Social media apps like that are dangerous territory for little girls. They are insecure little birds. All it takes is a bunch of likes, and messages for them to do more and next thing you know they have put themselves out there on the internet for the world to see. Keep an eye on your little ones Dads. Don't blindly trust they are doing what they are supposed to simply because they are "good kids".

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BigDHornfan

BigDHornfan 6551

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Taking the 6 yr old boy to Six Flags for the first time in a couple of weeks.  Just checked on height restrictions and he's able to ride everything but Superman, Batman, and Mr. Freeze.  He's pretty fearless so I am really looking forward to riding the Giant and Titan with him.  He's fucking pumped!

 

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Patricio Swayze

Patricio Swayze 17058

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My oldest daughter has her 4th birthday tomorrow. I swear after the last birthday my wife and I agreed from now on we would go to one of those places like Monkey Joe’s that serves food and has a big indoor playground. Somehow she forgot and it’s balls to the walls preparation and getting the house and backyard ready. Rented jump house. Bought more flagstone for backyard. Got to clean the house from top to bottom tomorrow. She baked. Picked up drinks. Picked up food.

Fuck my life. I am thinking at 10pm I will mix some everclear and orange juice.

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pacman

pacman 7371

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On 3/22/2019 at 4:36 PM, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Son started coach pitch this year and we’ve hit a pretty big regression in being afraid of the ball. I backed off coaching this year to see if maybe I was being too hard but man this is frustrating.
Son: Dad I want to hit Hrs
Me: Pretty hard to do with your eyes closed and stepping out of the box.

Been there. Just be supportive. He will come around. Keep comments like that to yourself.

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Lobwedgephil

Lobwedgephil 1139

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49 minutes ago, EE2B said:

Jesus Christ so much ^^^ this. My five year olds birthday is next Saturday. She spent almost $700 on TWO bounce houses. I’m scared to even ask what the rest of this shit is costing.

Makes me feel better about the $500 train I have coming for a bday party next month. When does the Chucky Cheese's with family only start? 

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mdmost

mdmost 43054

Posted
Posted
On 3/22/2019 at 4:36 PM, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Son started coach pitch this year and we’ve hit a pretty big regression in being afraid of the ball. I backed off coaching this year to see if maybe I was being too hard but man this is frustrating.
Son: Dad I want to hit Hrs
Me: Pretty hard to do with your eyes closed and stepping out of the box.

Throw some heat at him. Make him back off the plate with some chin music.

 

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mdmost

mdmost 43054

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12 minutes ago, Lobwedgephil said:

Makes me feel better about the $500 train I have coming for a bday party next month. When does the Chucky Cheese's with family only start? 

Never. We're about to book our youngest's 9th birthday party and we're looking at $400 minimum. The wife has 3 very limited window things she weirdly loves to spend money on: Halloween costumes, birthday parties, and Christmas pajamas. We've got classmates and friends coming. They of course all need $10+ gifts for attending. You know, because the party that we're inviting them to and spending money on them being able to attend isn't enough. But I'd much rather pay that out than to ever have another party at my house ever again. That goes from "oh it will be so much less expensive" to $500+ in no time. You think she's fine with spending a lot to go somewhere for a party? Oh no. Wait for when it's at our own home.

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