Surly Dad Thread

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Dropped the boy off at kindergarten today.  As other kids were welling up and starting to cry, my son looked at my wife and I, said "see you this afternoon!" and walked right in and sat down at his table.
At that moment, so many emotions ran through me but I think I had just a huge dad moment where I was so unbelievably proud of my son.  I remember bringing him home from the hospital like it was yesterday when in actuality, it was 5 years ago. 
To the dads with young ones not yet in school - cherish the times because they fly by and you will soon find yourself dropping your kiddo off for their first day of school.

This is us in 1.5 weeks with our first. She’s excited for school and can’t wait so that’ll make it easy (er). PreK kinda warmed us up for full day K. We’ve skated by without having to deal with daycare and having to get up by X time 5 days a week for the last several years. I feel we’re in for a rude awakening so need to get a sleep schedule starting soon. I think she’ll be the tough kind like your kid and say see ya in a little bit!

Also helps we can see her school from the back yard windows of our house.

[pearlandhorn 3274]

7 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

This is us in 1.5 weeks with our first. She’s excited for school and can’t wait so that’ll make it easy (er). PreK kinda warmed us up for full day K. We’ve skated by without having to deal with daycare and having to get up by X time 5 days a week for the last several years. I feel we’re in for a rude awakening so need to get a sleep schedule starting soon. I think she’ll be the tough kind like your kid and say see ya in a little bit!

Also helps we can see her school from the back yard windows of our house.

I'm an early riser (giggidy) in the mornings and am awake before anyone else in the house.  He's always up when the clock hits 7.  School dropoff is at 7:45 and we're about 15 minutes from the school.  He was in daycare this last year (in about 9, out about 3:30/4) as my wife and I couldn't get any work done at the house when he's there.  It was great for him to have some structure and interaction with other kids during COVID.  Kids just need to be around kids in my opinion and to have to listen to someone other than their parents.

Good luck to you and your wife.  It was more difficult for me than I thought it would be.  I was expecting my wife to tear up when we got to the car but she was just quiet on the way home.  Multiple times during the day we'd say "I can't believe he's in kindergarten now."

[hookemATL 11837]

My eldest started first grade last Thursday. She did all of kindergarten virtual and totally kicked ass but she really thrives in a social setting. Obviously I was/am worried about her being in-person but she has been beaming all week and I can feel the joy radiating off of her. 
 

Same as you pear, I’m the early riser usually. I had a routine for a long time where I was up at 5:30 am every week day. Got a bit off track during covid bc I was wfh permanently and never had the need to get up early and get on the road (to school/office). With school starting now, it’s a 6am wake up every weekday with an immediate move to the coffee pot. 

[Hate 20136]

Goddamn.  Octonauts was required watching in our house.  My son and I would snuggle up on the couch and watch it every day.  That show was fantastic.  We bought him several of the "Octopods" and he would play with them in the spa for hours.  I genuinely believe that was a good show for kids to watch, but I'm also drunk. 

[pearlandhorn 3274]

1 hour ago, hookemATL said:

My eldest started first grade last Thursday. She did all of kindergarten virtual and totally kicked ass but she really thrives in a social setting. Obviously I was/am worried about her being in-person but she has been beaming all week and I can feel the joy radiating off of her. 
 

Same as you pear, I’m the early riser usually. I had a routine for a long time where I was up at 5:30 am every week day. Got a bit off track during covid bc I was wfh permanently and never had the need to get up early and get on the road (to school/office). With school starting now, it’s a 6am wake up every weekday with an immediate move to the coffee pot. 

Ditto but even through COVID and WFH, I was still up before the sun most mornings.  I find it easier to think and get the day started when it's just me, the dog, and my coffee on the couch.

[Hate 20136]

Clearly you don't drink.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

I'm an early riser (giggidy) in the mornings and am awake before anyone else in the house.  He's always up when the clock hits 7.  School dropoff is at 7:45 and we're about 15 minutes from the school.  He was in daycare this last year (in about 9, out about 3:30/4) as my wife and I couldn't get any work done at the house when he's there.  It was great for him to have some structure and interaction with other kids during COVID.  Kids just need to be around kids in my opinion and to have to listen to someone other than their parents.
Good luck to you and your wife.  It was more difficult for me than I thought it would be.  I was expecting my wife to tear up when we got to the car but she was just quiet on the way home.  Multiple times during the day we'd say "I can't believe he's in kindergarten now."

Agreed about needing to be with kids & hearing from somebody other than the parents. Do you have any other kids? We have a 3YO to keep my wife busy so…she won’t be able to get any house work done, but it might be easier. Our oldest is definitely the clingier one of the two so maybe there’s a little hope.

[hookemATL 11837]

7 hours ago, pearlandhorn said:

Ditto but even through COVID and WFH, I was still up before the sun most mornings.  I find it easier to think and get the day started when it's just me, the dog, and my coffee on the couch.

Oh I hear that. And I was still the first one up, although the baby changed the routine a bit for awhile. Gotta love those 4am feedings!

[pearlandhorn 3274]

7 hours ago, Hate said:

Clearly you don't drink.

No, I don’t really drink. I’ll have a beer or scotch probably once or twice a year.

[Thatguy 8827]

7 hours ago, Hate said:

Goddamn.  Octonauts was required watching in our house.  My son and I would snuggle up on the couch and watch it every day.  That show was fantastic.  We bought him several of the "Octopods" and he would play with them in the spa for hours.  I genuinely believe that was a good show for kids to watch, but I'm also drunk. 

  We had a rotation of Octonauts, Little Einsteins, Paw Patrol, Dora, and Yo Gaba Gaba. I can still hear the tunes jingling in my ears.

[pearlandhorn 3274]

6 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Agreed about needing to be with kids & hearing from somebody other than the parents. Do you have any other kids? We have a 3YO to keep my wife busy so…she won’t be able to get any house work done, but it might be easier. Our oldest is definitely the clingier one of the two so maybe there’s a little hope.

No other kids. My wife had pretty rough complications with our boy when he was born. Emergency c-section, MRSA infection that resulted in her getting her tubes tied. She was still dealing with the physical complications 18 months after delivery. We decided it best to get her tubes tied and deal with those issues 3 years ago and not have any more kids. We’re one and done.

 

Of course we had people say “oooooo he needs a brother/sister”. We essentially told people to fuck off. But honestly, my wife and I both feel whole with just him. Every now and then we will ask each other “you still good with only have one kid?” It’s honestly amazing how well a couple can be on the same page if there’s free and honest communication between the two.

 

[BabaYaga 15305]

On 8/18/2021 at 7:19 AM, next2naus said:

twin 4YO's (B&G) had their MMR's and a blood draw yesterday, so that was fun. 

Sucks.  My boy got really sick as a little guy from daycare and they needed a urine sample.  He was so dehydrated they stuck a catheter up his pee-pee hole......he was.....not happy.  It killed me having to help hold him down

[atomheartbevo 89778]

11 hours ago, Hate said:

Goddamn.  Octonauts was required watching in our house.  My son and I would snuggle up on the couch and watch it every day.  That show was fantastic.  We bought him several of the "Octopods" and he would play with them in the spa for hours.  I genuinely believe that was a good show for kids to watch, but I'm also drunk. 

Yep, great show for kids to watch.

And I can still remember the theme song.

My oldest is around 9 and even he got excited when I had him look at upcoming stuff on Netflix and he saw it was a whole new season.

And it's going to be land-based this time around.

[Jkwellborn 6724]

Sucks.  My boy got really sick as a little guy from daycare and they needed a urine sample.  He was so dehydrated they stuck a catheter up his pee-pee hole......he was.....not happy.  It killed me having to help hold him down

That’s always a horrible thing to do too. I hated having to hold my kids. They always look at you like you’ve betrayed them.

[BabaYaga 15305]

4 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

And I can still remember the theme song.

Few weekends back my wifes sister & husband spent the day by the pool with their little girl.  She's awesome, never stops going.  Watched all kinds of shows, one of them apparently stuck in my head.

Fast forward to a few nights ago, had maybe a few too many fingers of bourbon, get into bed, and guess what pops into my head and won't leave:

Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby shark

 

FUCK!!!!!

[NoName 16369]

soon to be new Dad here - researching a million things but any specific product recommendations to either steer clear of or that you can't recommend enough?

Edited August 19, 2021 by NoName

[Etexhorn13 3052]

17 minutes ago, NoName said:

soon to be new Dad here - researching a million things but any specific product recommendations to either steer clear of or that you can't recommend enough?

Subscribed. 

[atomheartbevo 89778]

6 hours ago, BabaYaga said:

Sucks.  My boy got really sick as a little guy from daycare and they needed a urine sample.  He was so dehydrated they stuck a catheter up his pee-pee hole......he was.....not happy.  It killed me having to help hold him down

2 hours ago, Jkwellborn said:

That’s always a horrible thing to do too. I hated having to hold my kids. They always look at you like you’ve betrayed them.

If it's a male doctor, in a few years, take your kid, mask up, break into the guy's hose, and hold him down while your son shoves a catheter up his dick hole.

It's a little cathartic, according to friends of mine.

[atomheartbevo 89778]

57 minutes ago, NoName said:

soon to be new Dad here - researching a million things but any specific product recommendations to either steer clear of or that you can't recommend enough?

38 minutes ago, Etexhorn13 said:

Subscribed. 

Don't skimp when it comes to strollers, or at least the stroller you are going to use a lot.  You can keep a cheap-ass umbrella stroller in the trunk or whatever, for those times where you are in and out quickly, but be willing to shell out for a decent jogging stroller with large wheels for long walks.  Your back/arms/neck will thank you, and you can either get something really good up front, or you will be going through a string of strollers.

Get familiar with the names "Melissa and Doug".

Don't be afraid of getting stuff off of Craig's List. 

[BabaYaga 15305]

39 minutes ago, Etexhorn13 said:

Subscribed. 

Need:

• Baby wipes.  A metric, crap-tastic, amount of them.  Costco is a good bet.  Have them everywhere.  Cars.  Every room in the house.  
• Baby showers - ask for gift cards.  Use them to buy diapers, formula, and baby wipes
• If the rib has trouble with her floppy-fun-bags, and you/she needs to pump, they make this microwavable sterilization bags for cleaning all the gear.  They are money
• Steal everything from the hospital.  Those swaddle blankets are still, to this day the only blankets my little turds couldn't get out of when we swaddled them up.  Same with that little nose-booger-sucker thingy.
• Digital forehead thermometer to steer clear of the anoos
• Don't skimp on the car seat and stroller.  The VAST majority of car seats are not installed properly.  Usually the hospital or local fire station will install for you free of charge
• The binky was a lifesaver, but always fell out of their mouths - so a little clip and a tether to clip to their clothes and keep it off the ground.
• Those "tick-tock" rockers.  My boy lived in his.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  Calmed him down.  Daughter wanted nothing to do with it, but when they work, they can be a lifesaver for a quick break to eat/clean

Waste of time:

• Diaper genie.  They quickly start to smell like a dead cat left in a hot car.  Just police the diapers and place in outside garbage bins
• Virtually all fancy clothes.  You will be overturned, but money spend on nice kids clothes, especially designer is a waste.  You will argue.  And you will lose.
• Expensive baby food makers - such good stuff out there, unless you just want to?
• Wipe warmers.  Dumb
• Most stuffed animals at that age.  They don't really play with them
• Fancy shoes.  See fancy clothes
• Burp clothes, etc.  Just use something close
• Anyone remember the "pee pee t-pee"?  Jesus, what a rip off.
• All the "for babies only" soaps, etc.  

Off the top of my head, sure there are many more

[Guest Lobo]

Excellent advice from the last two posters.  

Never understood the diaper genie.  I think if you lived in a large apartment building and don't have to walk down multiple baggies a day, I get it.  But otherwise, stick 'em in a little pet poop bag or HEB plastic bag and walk 'em out to the trash bin.  No reason to keep shit festering in your home.  If summmertime, move the bin farther away from the house.  Plus, early on...first time dad...you're gonna need to walk that shit out at night...grab a beer from the garage fridge and collect yourself for a few minutes, be thankful to the constellations for your little miracle made from stardust, and come back in with a smile and ask what you can do to help Mommy before bed time.  Just finish burping before you walk back in.  Or blame it on the kid.  "Weird, kid's burps smell like Pearl Snap"

This is sorta product, sorta skill related.  Learn the basic shit about infant CPR, holding their heads during feeding to prevent gas, etc.  Basic shit.  Don't bother learning all the fucking poses and shit for their various moods or singing them the right songs or the right baby bouncers and crap.  Some modicum of natural instinct also kicks in with dads if you listen to your brain and your baby.  Just do what feels protective and natural.  Sing them the Zeppelin songs you already know, they just wanna hear your voice as they drift off to sleep.  You'll know what's too slow of a walk or rocking motion and what's too fast. 

But having said that.............TODAY....POST HASTE....get yourself a pack of swaddling blankets (thin for now through October, then something a bit warmer), colors don't fucking matter but a soft material that won't chafe.  Can be a generic brand of ugly colors, don't fucking matter.  Get yourself some and learn to swaddle TODAY!  Borrow a baby or a doll or something, but you will need to learn to swaddle just using your left-hand (baby is in the other hand and mama is asleep), upside down on the bed in the dark after a few beers.  Get it to where you can do it without even thinking about it.  Of all the skills and shit they teach dads at those classes and hospital orientations and doula classes 'n shit...after helping mommy with the birthing process...getting baby back to sleep is the next most important thing.  Swaddling helps 90% of babies get back to sleep.  Baby will eventually have a preference for arms in/arms out, what to do with feet, etc.  But you gotta be able to take baby after mommy feeds it and gets her much needed rest...and in 45 seconds or less swaddle baby and lay it back down to rest, you gotta be smooth about it.  You gotta be confident and you can't start yelling at yourself, "Dammit Lobo, We workshopped this, get it together man!"  With the second baby, I practiced constantly and I could get her back to bed within a minute every time.  SWADDLE DAMMIT...SWADDLE LIKE THE WIND!

[atomheartbevo 89778]

24 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Waste of time:

• Virtually all fancy clothes.  You will be overturned, but money spend on nice kids clothes, especially designer is a waste.  You will argue.  And you will lose.

1234.  Kid to Kid (https://kidtokid.com) is a national chain of resale shops, also hit up garage sales, etc.

Really young kids outgrow their clothes fast, and they are going to poop/puke/spit up all over the fanciest clothes they have.  It's wasted money to buy fancy new stuff.

[Jkwellborn 6724]

SWADDLE THAT BABY!!

Go ahead and get a good car seat. Practice securing it to the vehicle. Have 1 in each vehicle, or at least a base. Piss on swapping them out.

If your kid is gonna be on formula, make sure you know what kind before you get home. Don’t let the hospital just give you whatever brand they’re partnered with.

Stock up on stuff. Running out sucks.

Like someone said, don’t worry about spending money on clothes. They’ll ruin them or out grow them in a week.

[Brisketexan 105274]

49 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Need:

• Baby wipes.  A metric, crap-tastic, amount of them.  Costco is a good bet.  Have them everywhere.  Cars.  Every room in the house.  
• Baby showers - ask for gift cards.  Use them to buy diapers, formula, and baby wipes
• If the rib has trouble with her floppy-fun-bags, and you/she needs to pump, they make this microwavable sterilization bags for cleaning all the gear.  They are money
• Steal everything from the hospital.  Those swaddle blankets are still, to this day the only blankets my little turds couldn't get out of when we swaddled them up.  Same with that little nose-booger-sucker thingy.
• Digital forehead thermometer to steer clear of the anoos
• Don't skimp on the car seat and stroller.  The VAST majority of car seats are not installed properly.  Usually the hospital or local fire station will install for you free of charge
• The binky was a lifesaver, but always fell out of their mouths - so a little clip and a tether to clip to their clothes and keep it off the ground.
• Those "tick-tock" rockers.  My boy lived in his.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  Calmed him down.  Daughter wanted nothing to do with it, but when they work, they can be a lifesaver for a quick break to eat/clean

Waste of time:

• Diaper genie.  They quickly start to smell like a dead cat left in a hot car.  Just police the diapers and place in outside garbage bins
• Virtually all fancy clothes.  You will be overturned, but money spend on nice kids clothes, especially designer is a waste.  You will argue.  And you will lose.
• Expensive baby food makers - such good stuff out there, unless you just want to?
• Wipe warmers.  Dumb
• Most stuffed animals at that age.  They don't really play with them
• Fancy shoes.  See fancy clothes
• Burp clothes, etc.  Just use something close
• Anyone remember the "pee pee t-pee"?  Jesus, what a rip off.
• All the "for babies only" soaps, etc.  

Off the top of my head, sure there are many more

It's been 18 years since I had a baby in the house, but these are all solid.  I will say that the diaper genie was fine for us, didn't smell much, and meant that we didn't have to constantly police diapers -- we just changed it out daily or so.  But, to each his own and YMMV.

Other suggestions:

The opposite of fancy clothes -- get a metric shitton of cheap onesies.  There are days you'll go through 3-4 of them.  Buy them in multipacks.

When your MIL wants to come over and help and give y'all a break....if you are on terms with her anywhere short of "open warfare," ACCEPT THE OFFER.  Even letting y'all sit down and rest, or take a catch-up nap, is a huge gift.

[Etexhorn13 3052]

Thank you guys for the good responses. Our baby boy is due oct 2 (maybe a good luck charm for TCU game?) so we’ve got most of our supplies from showers, parents/friends, and just general shopping around. Thank god my wife is one of those planner type of people. The general “new dad” tips and anecdotes are good to know for sure, because i feel like winging it will only get me so far, and I’m not always a by the book kind of guy. And damnit, she bought some of the pee pee teepees…

[Brisketexan 105274]

4 minutes ago, Etexhorn13 said:

Thank you guys for the good responses. Our baby boy is due oct 2 (maybe a good luck charm for TCU game?) so we’ve got most of our supplies from showers, parents/friends, and just general shopping around. Thank god my wife is one of those planner type of people. The general “new dad” tips and anecdotes are good to know for sure, because i feel like winging it will only get me so far, and I’m not always a by the book kind of guy. And damnit, she bought some of the pee pee teepees…

Oh, another one -- if your wife is going to nurse, a GOOD nursing pillow.  We were big fans of this one, that latches into place (you don't have to keep adjusting it or worry about it slipping down):

The brand name is awesome - "My Brest Friend."  But of course, we just called it "The Boobie Buddy."  As young parents, you take the chuckles where you can get em.

[Hate 20136]

Get the kid on a schedule as soon as possible and stick to it. Feed them at the same time, bath them at the same time, and put them to bed at the same time. And your kid will have gas for the first month or so. It’s why they will cry at about 5 or 6 in the evening for seemingly no reason. Get the right bottles (if your wife is pumping) and make sure you burp him/her frequently for the first 4/6 weeks.

[Guest Lobo]

Have your wife search on nextdoor and facebook for the local neighborhood "Mom's Trading Groups."  We got a bunch of shit from there that was high quality/gently used and as a turn of karma, placed a bunch of things on there now that our second is almost 3.  You'd think Mom's would get all sentimental until you read their posts.  First kid was "I wanna save it for our next one, or pass it down to my sister's for their babies, or just hold on to it to remind us of our miracle years."  Nope, after second baby is finished with the clothes or the device or whatever, the posts are, "Bag of baby clothes, a swing, and some other shit. Free.. It's on our front porch, no rifling through for what you want...take the whole fucking bag or piss off."  

[Brisketexan 105274]

2 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Have your wife search on nextdoor and facebook for the local neighborhood "Mom's Trading Groups."  We got a bunch of shit from there that was high quality/gently used and as a turn of karma, placed a bunch of things on there now that our second is almost 3.  You'd think Mom's would get all sentimental until you read their posts.  First kid was "I wanna save it for our next one, or pass it down to my sister's for their babies, or just hold on to it to remind us of our miracle years."  Nope, after second baby is finished with the clothes or the device or whatever, the posts are, "Bag of baby clothes, a swing, and some other shit. Free.. It's on our front porch, no rifling through for what you want...take the whole fucking bag or piss off."  

Yep.  The bassinet we used for each kid's first coupla months was given to us by a friend.....then when we were done, we gave it to a friend....when she was done, she gave it to a friend....

It's a simple bassinet, nobody needs to buy a new one.  That bassinet has probably held 20 kids, and I bet it's still going strong.

Don't be sentimental -- get rid of all that shit.  Keep an item or two that's meaningful.  My wife had some of their prized clothes and blankets turned into a pillow or something, that's sweet.  But get rid of all that shit.  And look for other people doing the same.  It's shit that your kid will use for a few months to a coupla years at most -- it doesn't have to be new or fancy.  It's just stuff they piss, shit, and puke on....so think of it as the shoes you wear to the OU game.  They just have to do the job, be hosed off, and eventually unceremoniously dumped in the trash.

[Guest Lobo]

Pos rep for the bassinet story.  We had a few things like that, passed down from family and friends.  Hate and his wife gave us a really nice baby glider that held up great over the years.  Some swings, toys, rockers, carriers, seats for the table, etc.  The trick is not giving a shit about flash/trends.  Thankfully, most baby shit that babies are gonna be carried in, transported in, placed in, etc.  They are built to half-assed decent specifications.  They're actually built with a modicum of solidity.  The clothes can fall apart after one wash, but the high chair or the rocker has to be relatively well made for liability purposes.  It can't just explode into 100 pieces at the first sign of stress or they go to jail.  

When they get to be about 4, the shit they make for those aged kids is made of papier-mache and will fall apart if you look at it wrong on a humid day.  But the baby shit is sturdy and can easily handle being handed down a few times before it's landfill time.  the cute baby stores don't tell you that shit for obvious reasons.  

And seriously, tell the family and well-meaning friends to cool it on the stuffed animals and books.  You can read one book over and over again, baby just wants to hear your voice.  Get a little radio or bluetooth speaker for the nursery to pump in music so you don't have to have your phone out around them.  They can't engage the stuffies or have them in their bed anyways.  What they need are clean clothes, clean sheets, clean bottles, clean diapers and swaddled sleep.  Everything needs to be in service of those five things.  All else is commentary

 

Speaking of that, why are these soon-to-be new dads still reading this thread?  Go practice swaddling you miscreants!  Kid ain't gonna wrap itself.  

Edited August 19, 2021 by Lobo

[hookemATL 11837]

IF your wife goes the breastfeeding route, splurge for the Willow wireless breastpumps.  

https://onewillow.com/

We had the normal pumps (Medela) for the first kiddo and they were just ok.  But bc of how they need to be plugged in, it pretty much locks in the wife to one spot for at least 30 minutes.

The 2nd baby, wife wanted a better option and Willow is badass.  They are wireless (charge up when not in use) and come with a nifty app that tracks everything.  Best thing is that wife can move around and get shit done while pumping.  My wife currently pumps on her drive home from work everyday. 

They are a bit pricey but best money we have spent this time around.

[Jkwellborn 6724]

Get one of those wrap around pillows for sure. Makes it easy to hold the baby for a long time.

[Guest Lobo]

3 minutes ago, hookemATL said:

IF your wife goes the breastfeeding route, splurge for the Willow wireless breastpumps.  

https://onewillow.com/

We had the normal pumps (Medela) for the first kiddo and they were just ok.  But bc of how they need to be plugged in, it pretty much locks in the wife to one spot for at least 30 minutes.

The 2nd baby, wife wanted a better option and Willow is badass.  They are wireless (charge up when not in use) and come with a nifty app that tracks everything.  Best thing is that wife can move around and get shit done while pumping.  My wife currently pumps on her drive home from work everyday. 

They are a bit pricey but best money we have spent this time around.

Does she usually wait for the turn arrow at I-75 & Moores Mill Road?  Asking for a friend.  

Edited August 19, 2021 by Lobo

[hookemATL 11837]

2 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Does she usually wait for the turn arrow at I-75 & Moores Mill Road?  Asking for a friend.  

lululz i live in atx but i get that reference!!!  SMYRNA RISE UPPPPPP

[Guest Lobo]

I used to live near New Smyrna Beach in Florida (don't ask).  Austin suits me better.  

I'm assuming she's happier now that the red light cameras have been disengaged in Austin. 

[Murfdogg21 4423]

Like Weddings, any product marketed for “babies” puts the price at 2x what it would otherwise be.  Find something on Amazon to serve as a baby monitor (walkie talkie type) and camera that is generic and not intended for nurseries. 
 

After owning multiple Chicco and Graco car seats, I 110% endorse Chicco. They are very easy to install and uninstall (if you are switching cars without a base) and tighten the belts. Graco has been a pain in my dick to tighten the straps to my wife’s level of acceptability and I always end up cursing someone out in an airport parking garage, in front of in-laws, etc. All those high dollar strollers are horse shit for future Karens to keep up with the other Karens. Resist or buy used. 
 

I have no shame in admitting that we slept with our infants in our bed during their first year many times when they woke up screaming and couldn’t be rocked back to sleep in <10 minutes. Sleep for me and the wife was worth more than following some Martha Stewart standard of baby swadding and sleep training. 
 

Your kid likely won’t wear 50% of their wardrobe more than once, and 25% of their wardrobe they may never wear. I never had girls, but for my boys the go-to 99% of the time is a t-shirt with basketball or sweat shorts. They never want to wear shirts with buttons, jeans, or khaki type shorts/pants. 

[Celery Man 20996]

The Snoo was one of those things I said “yes” to before I realized how fucking expensive it is (you can even rent them). We haven’t weaned her off of it yet (she’s still got some time) and maybe I’ll rue the day, but I have not regretted it.

Red is where it kicked up a notch to put her back to sleep. She gets restless during that afternoon nap 

Proud of that precise 9pm landing with no soothing from the snoo.

 

Not really trying to recommend it, just giving you a heads up if your wife starts talking about it. It is cool, it did work well for our kid, i can’t remember how expensive it was but let’s call it “af”.

Edited August 19, 2021 by Celery Man

[hookemATL 11837]

BABY BURRITO!!

[Kringelbert Fishtybuns 944]

When your wife gets a baby monitor at some shower, go exchange it for a handle of bourbon.  
 

If the kid is that upset/hungry/shit themselves, they will wake your ass up.

[NoName 16369]

2 hours ago, Etexhorn13 said:

Thank you guys for the good responses. Our baby boy is due oct 2 (maybe a good luck charm for TCU game?) so we’ve got most of our supplies from showers, parents/friends, and just general shopping around. Thank god my wife is one of those planner type of people. The general “new dad” tips and anecdotes are good to know for sure, because i feel like winging it will only get me so far, and I’m not always a by the book kind of guy. And damnit, she bought some of the pee pee teepees…

girl is due in January, so some time there. like you and am more of a by the book guy and have been lucky that some friends sent me some good recs on that front

congrats man!

[Etexhorn13 3052]

1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

The Snoo was one of those things I said “yes” to before I realized how fucking expensive it is (you can even rent them). We haven’t weaned her off of it yet (she’s still got some time) and maybe I’ll rue the day, but I have not regretted it.

Red is where it kicked up a notch to put her back to sleep. She gets restless during that afternoon nap 

Proud of that precise 9pm landing with no soothing from the snoo.

 

Not really trying to recommend it, just giving you a heads up if your wife starts talking about it. It is cool, it did work well for our kid, i can’t remember how expensive it was but let’s call it “af”.

My MIL pretty much told us we should nix that in fear of weaning them off it being a huge bitch. My wife listens to her mom maybe more than she listens to me so this was an immediate no go for us. I was happy to have not spent a shitload on that after seeing the price, though. 

Edited August 20, 2021 by Etexhorn13

[atomheartbevo 89778]

5 hours ago, NoName said:

soon to be new Dad here - researching a million things but any specific product recommendations to either steer clear of or that you can't recommend enough?

4 hours ago, Etexhorn13 said:

Subscribed. 

And speaking of baby monitors, don't have anything wired that's even close to the crib.  I don't mean to be Debbie Downer, but we have a friend whose nephew damn near strangled to death after getting a hold of a wired one and pulling it into his crib.

Kids have some kind of magical ability to reach stuff that you wouldn't think is possible.

[pearlandhorn 3274]

@NoName@Etexhorn13

1. Don't buy the cheap diapers.  For the love of all that is holy.  Luv brand diapers suck ass.  We found Target to be the best bet on price and reliability.  You can find them on sale every now and then and just stock up.  Also, Target baby wipes are pretty good and reasonable priced too.  Buy the biggest box you can buy when on sale.  Don't buy expensive clothes.  They will grow out of them so fast and only wear them once or twice before it doesn't fit any longer.  Also, "Just Between Friends" is another one of those discount sales (around most major cities I believe - or at least the Houston area) where you can always buy stuff for cheap.  If others are saying Costco has great options, go with them because they'll be cheaper.  We weren't Costco members when we had our kid in diapers.

2. We used reusable diapers but not as diapers.  We used them as burping cloths.  Baby spits up, just throw it in the washing machine.  We still have like 30 of those things.

3. Seconded or thirded the "my breast friend" pillow.  My wife breastfed our son for the first year on that thing.  If the kid spits up on it, you can take off the wrap thing and throw it in the washing machine.

4. Take some blankets from the hospital.  They're free.  And also take a booger sucker.

5. We never had any luck with a good forehead thermometer.  We just did the rectal thing.  Make sure the baby has their own thermometer for this reason.

6. If your baby gets cradle cap, I believe it's coconut oil that you can rub on it kinda like shampoo.  Takes care of it lickity-split.

7. Get a good baby monitor.  We bought this one (twice - dog broke the first one and it was working great after 2.5 years): https://www.target.com/p/infant-optics-video-baby-monitor-dxr-8/-/A-52918573

8.  We ordered our crib off Amazon.  No pillow, no blankets, no bumpers, just a mattress.  Get a few sheet sets.  This is the one we bought - has three different heights and converts in to a toddler bed: https://www.amazon.com/Delta-Children-Bentley-Convertible-Espresso/dp/B00LZY8804/ref=sr_1_17?dchild=1&keywords=baby+crib&qid=1629433144&sr=8-17

Last but not least: 9.  Get a good carseat from a major manufacturer (Graco or the like).  Car seats for infants come in two pieces (a base and a seat).  The seat is removable from the car and you can carry the seat around with you (some even come with a stroller that you can attach the seat to).  This is pretty handy but we never used ours.  One thing you can do is get an additional base for your car (so a carseat/base and an additional base).  Just throw the carseat in to whichever car you want to take.  Makes transporting the family easier.

[Etexhorn13 3052]

Along with some others, this is a major post. Thank you. It appears I’m a bit late on sounding off that I have an incoming nugget, so NoName may be able to take more advantage of some of the points, but 4,5,6 are relevant to me. What the hell is cradle cap? Am I a bad dad-to-be for not knowing this ~6 weeks out?
 

Two other fun notes from this. I asked my wife if she’d gotten a nursing pillow (again, the responsible one) and of course she had… just waiting for her to not be comfy so I can swoop in with my own research and get her a better one. Also, played golf with some buddies last week that bought me a few boxes of luvs. Should I just hang on to it and give to best friend that has a baby or is one box not that bad? The whole diaper situation has me shook

Edited August 20, 2021 by Etexhorn13

[Etexhorn13 3052]

3 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

And speaking of baby monitors, don't have anything wired that's even close to the crib.  I don't mean to be Debbie Downer, but we have a friend whose nephew damn near strangled to death after getting a hold of a wired one and pulling it into his crib.

Kids have some kind of magical ability to reach stuff that you wouldn't think is possible.

I’m finishing up my nursery now - have my camera set up on a bookshelf with a view looking at the baby from a good bit higher. The camera itself is a plug-in but didn’t want to hang on the wall next to the crib. I can see the whole body/face and all that with the zoom lense … is it that important to have close enough to see facial expressions and all that shit? We’re trying to be hands off a little bit so I’m not worried about seeing his every waking moment

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

We bought Nuna stroller and car seats. Very good quality stuff. They’re a Swedish company and A little expensive but they lasted.

Nuna also makes a lounger chair that’s stupid expensive, it swivels which is nice but you need to keep it going with your arm or leg


With our second we bought this boppy lounger

https://www.target.com/p/boppy-original-newborn-lounger-hello-baby/-/A-52949114

If you need a break from holding baby or whatever. He really liked it.


I second luvs diapers are terrible. You feel it’s gonna disintegrate in your hands if it’s full of pee. Honest diapers from target were our goto. Now it’s just pampers pull ups. Butt paste sucks for rash, the names awesome but honest brand did a better job at rashes than BP. Smells better also.

For wipes we went back and forth until settling on pampers aqua pure. They have a hard plastic cover cap, so the wipes dispense like a tissue box, you can rip off 20 wipes in about 3 seconds if you have a blow out emergency.

https://www.target.com/p/pampers-aqua-pure-sensitive-baby-wipes-pop-top-336ct/-/A-53137963


If someone tells you to sleep before baby arrives, they’re full of shit. It’ll go to waste after the second night. You’re already dead. Hopefully you and your better half have a good relationship with your mother in law so she can maybe pull a dreaded 2-4/5 am shift. You’ll be so tired that 4 hours of sleep is going to be lifesaver. After about the second month youre deprived enough that you’ll make it then.

Babies poop a lot the first few weeks. Literally every diaper has poop. If baby’s a girl make sure it doesn’t get in vag.


Target will probably be your second home. Take advantage of their baby deals. Usually a lot of them are “spend 100 dollars on diapers and wipes and get 25$ back”. Which is basically a box of diapers. You’re gonna need to be stocked on both. So spend the extra and save a trip.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Along with some others, this is a major post. Thank you. It appears I’m a bit late on sounding off that I have an incoming nugget, so NoName may be able to take more advantage of some of the points, but 4,5,6 are relevant to me. What the hell is cradle cap? Am I a bad dad-to-be for not knowing this ~6 weeks out?
 
Two other fun notes from this. I asked my wife if she’d gotten a nursing pillow (again, the responsible one) and of course she had… just waiting for her to not be comfy so I can swoop in with my own research and get her a better one. Also, played golf with some buddies last week that bought me a few boxes of luvs. Should I just hang on to it and give to best friend that has a baby or is one box not that bad? The whole diaper situation has me shook

I’m non breast feeding expert, but it might not hurt to tell her that it’s a commitment…and it’ll seem like it’s hardly working but it is. Both of mine were breast fed. Wife had one boob that would pump a bottle… and one that would hardly get it to the first line. Our first kid was frustrating.


It also might not hurt to tell her that, at least in our experience, breast feeding nurses or experts- whatever their title is- could be total opposite on how they approach it. What I mean is your day time nurse could be a gentle mother who’s calm and your night time nurse could be rougher and make your wife hate breastfeeding. Whether your better half is feeding baby or is your turn to feed with a bottle, she’s going to be up pumping anyways. So yea, make sure wife can get any kind of sleep

[Modessit 5603]

Couple of other points:

1: There are apps that will play "womb noises". If your baby has issues sleeping, get one and let it go at FULL VOLUME. It helped our son sleep for good lengths of time. Our daughter had no issues and we didn't need it.

2: If your baby has issues with reflux and spitting up, it can really cause issues with sleep because they can choke on regurgitated milk or formula. I put a board in the bottom of the bassinet and propped one end up about 2 inches higher, with blankets on top for cushioning. That small angle helped enough that my son could sleep through the night without waking up choking. At least until his body learned to keep it down.

3: Start buying diapers now. Watch the sales. CVS often has deals where you get a free $10 in CVS Bucks for every $30 bought in baby stuff. That's a free pack of diapers - usually Huggies or Pampers. I bought up diapers of all sizes during my wife's pregnancy and only had to buy one pack of Newborn in the first 9 months after the baby was born. We didn't buy many Newborn ahead of time because my wife had gestational diabetes and we weren't sure how big the kid would be. He ended up coming 8 days early and weighed 7 lbs so we had to get an extra pack until he was big enough for the 1's.

4: Even if you plan to breastfeed, have some formula. The pre-mixed bottles that come in a 6-pack are a good starter. Some babies have very little suck and despite every effort will have problems latching. My son seemed to be doing okay while in the hospital but when we got home he wouldn't latch enough to eat. We went home on a Saturday and had trouble getting him to nurse. Went to the pediatrician on Monday and he was down to 5 lbs and she gave us formula right then. We tried different lactation consultants but he never would latch properly and we had to go formula all the way. (He couldn't hold a pacifier in without you keeping a finger on it.) My daughter was able to breastfeed fairly normally, but my wife wasn't producing enough so we had to supplement with formula and eventually just went 100% when my wife found that she wasn't producing enough even using some of the fancy pumps. What's important is making sure the baby is getting enough to eat.

5: never go anywhere without at least 2 changes of clothing and twice as many diapers as you think you need, plus extra wipes. You never know when that shit explosion is going to happen. When it's all up their back and in their hair, just peel the clothing off and put them in the bathtub. And be ready for them to shit in the bath.

[pearlandhorn 3274]

7 hours ago, Etexhorn13 said:

Along with some others, this is a major post. Thank you. It appears I’m a bit late on sounding off that I have an incoming nugget, so NoName may be able to take more advantage of some of the points, but 4,5,6 are relevant to me. What the hell is cradle cap? Am I a bad dad-to-be for not knowing this ~6 weeks out?
 

Two other fun notes from this. I asked my wife if she’d gotten a nursing pillow (again, the responsible one) and of course she had… just waiting for her to not be comfy so I can swoop in with my own research and get her a better one. Also, played golf with some buddies last week that bought me a few boxes of luvs. Should I just hang on to it and give to best friend that has a baby or is one box not that bad? The whole diaper situation has me shook

It looks like dry skin on top of the kid's head.  Google it.  I'm not really sure what causes it and I don't think there's really a scientist that knows (but I could be wrong).  It looks like really bad dandruff that flakes off.  It doesn't hurt but it's unpleasant to the eye.

Just use the luvs and see for yourself.  You can always give them away later if you have the same conclusion about them that I have.  You'll probably give them away or toss them.  I think huggies and pampers are around $.25/diaper at target.  The target brand (Up & Up) is around half that price per diaper.  You may be thinking - eh...it's a quarter per diaper, who gives a shit?  I'm a numbers guy and extrapolate that difference over 2 years, averaging 6 diapers a day and the cost difference between Up & Up and pampers is...$525 (averaging 6 diapers per day for two years). 

[pearlandhorn 3274]

Sound machines/white noise machines are fantastic as well:

Link to amazon