Surly Dad Thread

[hookemATL 11849]

Piggybacking on the breastfeeding thing:  

IF for whatever reason it is not going well and your wife is getting frustrated, do not hesitate to go to formula. Formula fed babies do just as good as breastfed babies. Formula nowadays is super advanced and you can get it premixed so no worries about powders etc. 

the only reason I say this is that it can really be a pain point for women and can cause postpartum issues if they feel like they must breast feed and it’s not working out. The stress and pressure are really really heavy, and they can feel like they are “failing” or “not a good mom”. We know this is not true, but the hormone drop after birth is real and it can contribute to anxiety/depression/what have you. 
 

Also, do not let any other female family member pressure her about her choice of how to feed the baby. My MiL got a bit too pushy about it and I had to set her straight a couple times to help my wife out. Empower your wife to do what is best for her and the baby, whether that’s the boob or formula. 

[pearlandhorn 3274]

Most pediatricians have a breast feeding consultant on staff to assist if your wife has any concerns.  They'll weigh the kid before nursing, then after a session to ensure the baby is getting enough milk.  If you don't have a pediatrician yet, most will allow new parents to come in and meet different ones and you can chose which one follows in line with your beliefs.  I had a coworker recommend ours to me, we booked an appointment, went in and met her about 6 weeks prior to due date, and knew immediately that this is the woman I wanted to be my kid's doctor. She was there at the hospital the morning after the delivery to look at him.  Her kids go to the same school as my son.  She's great.

[Jkwellborn 6732]

If you want cheap burping clothes, get some shop rags.

[SuckitKevin 920]

Reading all these new baby posts has me reminiscing about my kids. Ironically enough, I’m dropping my son off at UT today (Jester East). I’ve been staring at some of his stickers, posters, artwork, and vacation photos  that have been hung various places around the house the last 18 yrs. I’m hoping I’ve done enough as a father to prepare him for all the tough choices he’ll have to make during adulthood. God, I’m gonna miss him. Wish me luck, it will truly be one of the proudest and yet heart wrenching days of my life. Enjoy every day with your kids when they get here because this day will come sooner than you think.

Hook ‘em🤘

[Thatguy 8849]

12 minutes ago, SuckitKevin said:

Reading all these new baby posts has me reminiscing about my kids. Ironically enough, I’m dropping my son off at UT today (Jester East). I’ve been staring at some of his stickers, posters, artwork, and vacation photos  that have been hung various places around the house the last 18 yrs. I’m hoping I’ve done enough as a father to prepare him for all the tough choices he’ll have to make during adulthood. God, I’m gonna miss him. Wish me luck, it will truly be one of the proudest and yet heart wrenching days of my life. Enjoy every day with your kids when they get here because this day will come sooner than you think.

Hook ‘em🤘

  That's the athletes side. He play sports?

[SuckitKevin 920]

5 minutes ago, Thatguy said:

  That's the athletes side. He play sports?

Not in college, he played football and did powerlifting in HS. He’ll be a Biology student in the Honors program. 

[Thatguy 8849]

17 minutes ago, SuckitKevin said:

Not in college, he played football and did powerlifting in HS. He’ll be a Biology student in the Honors program. 

  That dude needs to get to one of the honors dorms stat. Gonna be hard to get any work done in Jester East if it's anything like when I was there. lol

[Mole 4333]

2 hours ago, hookemATL said:

Piggybacking on the breastfeeding thing:  

IF for whatever reason it is not going well and your wife is getting frustrated, do not hesitate to go to formula. Formula fed babies do just as good as breastfed babies. Formula nowadays is super advanced and you can get it premixed so no worries about powders etc. 

the only reason I say this is that it can really be a pain point for women and can cause postpartum issues if they feel like they must breast feed and it’s not working out. The stress and pressure are really really heavy, and they can feel like they are “failing” or “not a good mom”. We know this is not true, but the hormone drop after birth is real and it can contribute to anxiety/depression/what have you. 
 

Also, do not let any other female family member pressure her about her choice of how to feed the baby. My MiL got a bit too pushy about it and I had to set her straight a couple times to help my wife out. Empower your wife to do what is best for her and the baby, whether that’s the boob or formula. 

My wife was all about the “breast is best” thing and so was our hospital. It wasn’t going well at first and rather than discussing the benefits of supplementing, the nurses were suggesting formula in a vaguely menacing manner, like we’d be permanently tainting our child by getting him fed. Every time my wife picked up the kid for the first day or so, it was just to work at trying to nurse. It was miserable.

Finally I had to step in and make sure she was just enjoying holding her child and not missing out. The nurses did a terrible job for my wife and child at a vulnerable time and I had to step in to reassert what actually mattered. She never produced enough, so we ended up doing a mix of formula and nursing. It worked great.

The research behind the “breast is best” movement is spotty and doesn’t really account for population. Parents who are able to exclusively breastfeed generally are better educated, so their kids will obviously do better. It’s not the milk; it’s the parents. If she enjoys that time nursing, great, but enjoying the time together and getting the kid fed is key, not the magic milk. Her milk won’t magically turn your kid into an X-man and formula won’t turn the kid into a Tech grad.

Along the same lines, a lot of professional parenting advice is fear and guilt based. It’s based on misunderstandings of half-assed research and is usually pretty manipulative. Reject the parenting industrial complex and just love your kid well. Make sure they feel safe and loved and everything else will work out well.

Edited August 20, 2021 by Mole

[BabaYaga 15312]

15 hours ago, Hate said:

Get the kid on a schedule as soon as possible and stick to it. Feed them at the same time, bath them at the same time, and put them to bed at the same time. And your kid will have gas for the first month or so. It’s why they will cry at about 5 or 6 in the evening for seemingly no reason. Get the right bottles (if your wife is pumping) and make sure you burp him/her frequently for the first 4/6 weeks.

Best advice on this whole thread.  Be surgical with this.  

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4977]

You don't need to mess with baby food. Look up baby led weaning. We did this with our second and it worked great. Saves aton of trouble.

[BabaYaga 15312]

8 minutes ago, Mole said:

My wife was all about the “breast is best” thing and so was our hospital. It wasn’t going well at first and rather than discussing the benefits of supplementing, the nurses were suggesting formula in a vaguely menacing manner, like we’d be permanently tainting our child by getting him fed. Every time my wife picked up the kid for the first day or so, it was just to work at trying to nurse. It was miserable.

Finally I had to step in and make sure she was just enjoying holding her child and not missing out. The nurses did a terrible job for my wife and child at a vulnerable time and I had to step in to reassert what actually mattered. She never produced enough, so we ended up doing a mix of formula and nursing. It worked great.

The research behind the “breast is best” movement is spotty and doesn’t really account for population. Parents who are able to exclusively breastfeed generally are better educated, so their kids will obviously do better. It’s not the milk; it’s the parents. If she enjoys that time nursing, great, but enjoying the time together and getting the kid fed is key, not the magic milk. Her milk won’t magically turn your kid into an X-man and formula won’t turn the kid into a Tech grad.

Along the same lines, a lot of professional parenting advice is fear and guilt based. It’s based on misunderstandings of half-assed research and is usually pretty manipulative. Reject the parenting industrial complex and just love your kid well. Make sure they feel safe and loved and everything else will work out well.

The big thing is the colostrum (sp?)  Once they get that early, and the antibodies, they are on a good path.  We did both.  Little guy never really latched so we (pejorative.) pumped.  I kind of liked is as I could help.  Wife took the 3-4am session and was asleep each night by 6pm.  I took the 6pm and 11pm sessions.  That time at night.  That was MY time with my little man.  It was in 2005.  Only time in my life I watched the ENTIRE NBA finals.  Every game, as sports was the only thing I could watch with the sound off at night while mama and he slept.  

I will say about break milk - it is still to this day one of THE main things that saves the lives of premies.  Hospitals hoard it like are blood types in the ER.  Most have milk banks to donate.  They do something with it, so a lot donated is distilled down to very little, but it came be lifesaving for those little fellas.  

[BabaYaga 15312]

2 hours ago, hookemATL said:

Piggybacking on the breastfeeding thing:  

IF for whatever reason it is not going well and your wife is getting frustrated, do not hesitate to go to formula. Formula fed babies do just as good as breastfed babies. Formula nowadays is super advanced and you can get it premixed so no worries about powders etc. 

the only reason I say this is that it can really be a pain point for women and can cause postpartum issues if they feel like they must breast feed and it’s not working out. The stress and pressure are really really heavy, and they can feel like they are “failing” or “not a good mom”. We know this is not true, but the hormone drop after birth is real and it can contribute to anxiety/depression/what have you. 
 

Also, do not let any other female family member pressure her about her choice of how to feed the baby. My MiL got a bit too pushy about it and I had to set her straight a couple times to help my wife out. Empower your wife to do what is best for her and the baby, whether that’s the boob or formula. 

Troof.

You can also pump and then slowly mix formula and boobie milk 

Also, you will try some from the tap....;)

[hookemATL 11849]

18 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

The big thing is the colostrum (sp?)  Once they get that early, and the antibodies, they are on a good path.  We did both.  Little guy never really latched so we (pejorative.) pumped.  I kind of liked is as I could help.  Wife took the 3-4am session and was asleep each night by 6pm.  I took the 6pm and 11pm sessions.  That time at night.  That was MY time with my little man.  It was in 2005.  Only time in my life I watched the ENTIRE NBA finals.  Every game, as sports was the only thing I could watch with the sound off at night while mama and he slept.  

I will say about break milk - it is still to this day one of THE main things that saves the lives of premies.  Hospitals hoard it like are blood types in the ER.  Most have milk banks to donate.  They do something with it, so a lot donated is distilled down to very little, but it came be lifesaving for those little fellas.  

Yep meant to include the colostrum part, agreed there.  

and yeah, pumping and supplementing takes the pressure off of mom and allows dad to give her some breaks and be a part of the feeding process.

[BabaYaga 15312]

1 minute ago, hookemATL said:

Yep meant to include the colostrum part, agreed there.  

and yeah, pumping and supplementing takes the pressure off of mom and allows dad to give her some breaks and be a part of the feeding process.

Another thing to consider are the logistics of pumping.  Travel, etc you have bottles and anyone can feed the baby as mom is usually under water as it is.  But everyone is different.  It's an ass-over-teakettle process every step of the way but you get through it.  

[next2naus 439]

On 8/19/2021 at 10:43 AM, BabaYaga said:

Sucks.  My boy got really sick as a little guy from daycare and they needed a urine sample.  He was so dehydrated they stuck a catheter up his pee-pee hole......he was.....not happy.  It killed me having to help hold him down

they asked for a urine sample and he has been working on his aim for peeing standing up...he thought this was fascinating. 

[next2naus 439]

18 hours ago, NoName said:

soon to be new Dad here - researching a million things but any specific product recommendations to either steer clear of or that you can't recommend enough?

Diaper Genie is a worthy spend.

when the kid is about a year old, go buy a three ring inflatable pool and 3 or 4 hundred colored plastic balls: should cost less than $50 and you have your own ball-pit.

Hire a baby proofer for your house. 

[Celery Man 20996]

2 hours ago, hookemATL said:

Piggybacking on the breastfeeding thing:  

IF for whatever reason it is not going well and your wife is getting frustrated, do not hesitate to go to formula. Formula fed babies do just as good as breastfed babies. Formula nowadays is super advanced and you can get it premixed so no worries about powders etc. 

the only reason I say this is that it can really be a pain point for women and can cause postpartum issues if they feel like they must breast feed and it’s not working out. The stress and pressure are really really heavy, and they can feel like they are “failing” or “not a good mom”. We know this is not true, but the hormone drop after birth is real and it can contribute to anxiety/depression/what have you. 
 

Also, do not let any other female family member pressure her about her choice of how to feed the baby. My MiL got a bit too pushy about it and I had to set her straight a couple times to help my wife out. Empower your wife to do what is best for her and the baby, whether that’s the boob or formula. 

this is a great post. mothers are set up to be fucking miserable if the kid has a hard time latching or they don't produce or etc etc etc and it's largely bullshit. pay attention to your wife, if y'all have to formula feed or are getting judgment about whatever type of decision like that nip that shit in the bud.

early baby times my wife would go to sleep at like... 6-7 or something and wake up at 2-3. Baby was never great at breastfeeding so we pumped and bottle fed, which was nice in that we could do that staggered approach where I'm staying up till 1-2 in the morning and feeding the baby every couple of hours.

We have a munchkin diaper pail (diaper genie) and it works well/I am not on team "just take the diapers out as you go". Nursery is on the second floor, I typically have the baby when I'm changing diapers, not workable for me to take diapers out one at a time and the diaper genie thing is better than just a trash can. I empty it every night but I don't think that's totally necessary from the perspective of smell or whatever.

+1 for a white noise machine. For monitor, we have a Pampers Lumi - I like that it streams to an app rather than a specific device. So, I can watch the baby, wife can watch the baby, I can watch the baby on a trip, if I hear crying I can whip out my phone and look, I can open it up on the iPad and have it up there, etc.

you'll be fine

[hookemATL 11849]

Stock up on your caffeine delivery method of choice and MAKE SURE you and your wife take a break and walk outside or some shit during the day/night.  We all need to reset sometimes, and even if its 10-15 minutes it is crucial to maintaining sanity.  Things get wild/stressful with newborns and its easy to let that get to you.  You gotta be stable for them too.  

Good luck.  When your child is born it is the most exhilirating and lifechanging thing you will ever experience.  Nothing prepares you for the rush of joy and endorphins that course through you when you meet your child for the first time.  I remember every single aspect of each of my girls' births, and I treasure those memories so damn much.

[Jkwellborn 6732]

This is gonna sound strange to some guys, but make sure you and your wife alternate time to take care of the kid. Especially if it wakes up at night. If you have a kid that doesn’t sleep much like my first one, at least you’ll get a little rest.

Don’t be stupid and think you’ll get shit done while the kid naps either. Get some rest yourself.

[Murfdogg21 4423]

Some babies struggle with the boob. Our first kid took almost a month to get used to it. The second was born ready to suck nipple. Some women don’t produce a lot. If mom or baby have issues but your wife can pump a little (or a lot), it’s beneficial to supplement the formula with breast milk for continued antibody transfer when possible. I’m not sure of a time that’s more true than now, as we have Covid combined with masking/social distancing cutting down on spread of regular colds and delaying babies’ immune system development. 

[BabaYaga 15312]

You probably have a hospital picked out, but if not - you vet the nurses from a reputational standpoint.  All parents talk.  The nurses make or break the entire experience.  Both times, we saw the doctor for maybe an hour each time?  Maybe more, but you get the point.  Staying up with you.  Dealing with contractions, the pain, all the discomfort.  They are miracle workers.  

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Our first kid had jaundice but not bad enough to need the blankets or lights…we did have to use formula to get the shit out faster because the breastfeeding wasn’t supplementing enough milk.


Noname and extex are reading all of this thinking…”what did I just get myself into”

[Brisketexan 105305]

58 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:

This is gonna sound strange to some guys, but make sure you and your wife alternate time to take care of the kid. Especially if it wakes up at night. If you have a kid that doesn’t sleep much like my first one, at least you’ll get a little rest.

Don’t be stupid and think you’ll get shit done while the kid naps either. Get some rest yourself.

Goddamn this.  Our first didn't sleep for shit.  We ended up with a de-facto schedule (especially on the weekends) that I got to sleep during the middle of the night, when the baby would fuss and need to be fed etc., but on Sat and Sunday mornings, when the baby was up at 5:00, I got up with her, fed her, and tended to her while my wife got to sleep in.  There were times I got my daughter out of her crib, closed the door to the nursery, and let her crawl around on the floor with me in there.....and I would even fall asleep on the floor.  But it was a pretty baby-proofed room, so she could play with her toys and crawl around safely while I dozed some.  And most importantly, it gave my exhausted wife a block of uninterrupted sleep.

The lack of sleep was by far the hardest thing we had to contend with.

[atomheartbevo 89786]

Paw Patrol the Movie came out today, and is on Paramount+.  We have one of the cheap $45 a year or whatever plans, and surprisingly didn't have to pay extra for it.

Another movie to tide the kids over until Bluey season 3.

[Guest Lobo]

Chase was being a little bitch. 

[atomheartbevo 89786]

4 hours ago, Lobo said:

Chase was being a little bitch. 

Yep, both kids noticed that.  

[Spoosner 86]

Can't recommend this stroller/car seat combo enough. I laugh at people carrying heavy ass car seats around. Only downside is that when they grow out of it (around 1 year old), you'll need something new, as opposed to some that grow with your kid. The good thing is there's definitely a secondary market, so you can sell easily if needed

Expensive, but worth every single penny IMO. You can find used on facebook marketplace or resale shop, but don't buy a knock-off brand (read an article those haven't been properly tested/certified).

https://www.shopdoona.com/products/doona-car-seat-stroller

We use this for diaper trash can. It uses regular kitchen trash bags, and works well for us.

[McFly 606]

1 hour ago, Spoosner said:

Can't recommend this stroller/car seat combo enough. I laugh at people carrying heavy ass car seats around. Only downside is that when they grow out of it (around 1 year old), you'll need something new, as opposed to some that grow with your kid. The good thing is there's definitely a secondary market, so you can sell easily if needed

Expensive, but worth every single penny IMO. You can find used on facebook marketplace or resale shop, but don't buy a knock-off brand (read an article those haven't been properly tested/certified).

https://www.shopdoona.com/products/doona-car-seat-stroller

We use this for diaper trash can. It uses regular kitchen trash bags, and works well for us.

Have both of these and would recommend.  Get a second base for the other car. 

[atomheartbevo 89786]

So new Daniel Tiger episodes popped up last week.

My Kindergartner was excited today when I told her they were on the PBS Kids App on TV.

I was not really paying attention when all of the sudden I heard them talking about Daniel Tiger going to the hospital.

My first thought, based on the fact that PBS kids shows love to get topical, was "oh fuck, are they doing a covid episode?"

[956 Worldwide 34749]

Some good advice on this thread with gadgets and sleep stuff. I’ll go more “philosophy.”

Pick one thing, at least, and make it “yours” that you do with the baby. The wife can be there, and will be for a while because it’s what they do, but you run the show. Maybe it’s putting the baby to sleep, or reading a story. For me and my girls, it was bath time. 
 

And do that every day unless it’s absolutely impossible, no excuses. One day, it will be the last time you wash your child’s hair, or read a bedtime story, or lay down till they fall asleep. And you won’t know it when it’s over, that it was the last time. And it won’t have been enough times.

[atomheartbevo 89786]

Some dad embarrassed the shit out of his kids.  Or maybe not, since he's in damned good shape for his age.  If I was in his shape, I'd consider stripping down in public more often.

https://www.kxan.com/news/local/hays/dripping-springs-man-bares-thoughts-on-mask-mandates-at-heated-school-board-meeting/

Quote

Less than half an hour into Dripping Springs ISD’s board meeting Monday, 15-year resident and DSISD parent James Akers shared his thoughts on the latest discussion surrounding mask requirements in schools.

Quote

Akers then began removing articles of clothing as he outlined all the different laws and social expectations in place — stopping at red lights, wearing professional attire at work and not parking in handicapped parking spots — people are expected to follow. Masks, he said, are one of those things people should abide by in the effort of doing the right thing for the safety of others.

Quote

Akers ended his public comment sans shirt or pants, standing in a swimsuit as meeting attendees laughed, applauded or shouted at him.

Quote

Officers did not remove him, but he put his clothes back on at Board President Barbara Stroud’s request before leaving the microphone.

“Mr. Akers, I understand — I believe you’re a swimmer — but if you would mind putting your pants back on for a comment, that would be appreciated,” she said.

 

Edited August 24, 2021 by atomheartbevo

[atomheartbevo 89786]

If I ever have a school board president asking me to put my clothes back on, I'm 95% certain that officers will be removing me.

[Clintonaldo 2576]

My boy is a little over 7 months now and for the first 2 weeks the wife and I took shifts with him. She would go to bed at 6 and I would stay up until midnight. I was so afraid of him dying from SIDS I couldn’t relax about his sleeping but I finally wore myself out and realized I couldn’t do that the rest of his life. 

 

We bottle fed and I swear to God I think if we would have had a late term abortion we would have received less judgement. I don’t understand that. 

[hookemATL 11849]

 

8 minutes ago, Clintonaldo said:

We bottle fed and I swear to God I think if we would have had a late term abortion we would have received less judgement. I don’t understand that. 

It’s fuckin bullshit. It’s my main piece of advice for new parents. Don’t let anyone talk down to you about how you choose to feed your kid. 

[Jkwellborn 6732]

One day, it will be the last time you wash your child’s hair, or read a bedtime story, or lay down till they fall asleep. And you won’t know it when it’s over, that it was the last time. And it won’t have been enough times.

Man, there’s a thing that I saw on Facebook once that says that and a little more. I share it every time I see it. I also tear up a little too. Just thinking about how much they’ve already grown and changed and things that we don’t really do any more.

I can remember being exhausted and needing to get some sleep or having something I needed to do and putting it off for the sake of doing something with them.

Tell your children you love them all the time. It’s funny, I usually make them tuck me in at bedtime if I go to sleep before them. It’s turned into a game practically.

There’s no telling how many times I woke my kids up checking to see if they were breathing. I would put my hand on their chest to see if they were breathing.

[Guest Lobo]

6 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

 

And do that every day unless it’s absolutely impossible, no excuses. One day, it will be the last time you wash your child’s hair, or read a bedtime story, or lay down till they fall asleep. And you won’t know it when it’s over, that it was the last time. And it won’t have been enough times.

Motherfuckin' this.  And all the different, little "last times" come at different points.  I think that makes them even harder to glean.  If one day, these nine things with your daughter would never happen again, of course you'd remember it. But little by little, I think I've already had these "lasts" and I don't know them.  

csb/ But for instance, earlier in the summer I brushed her hair like I used to when she was much smaller (6 at the time, I brushed from ages 2-4).  And thought as I was doing it looking at the ocean water she was just swimming in..."This is probably the last time."  But then weeks later, before school, she came downstairs getting ready to head off to school and she handed me her purple brush without saying a word.  And I brushed her hair while she packed her school gear.  And she's asked me to do it every day since then.  The last day I do it will come, but "today...is not that day."  And for that, I am thankful.

[Jkwellborn 6732]

I hated to go from dadda to daddy. My wife was always talking about how she wishes the kids would grow up so they could do stuff for themselves or other stuff. I’d always tell her, not me, we will miss all of it when it happens.

[SydneyCarton 48159]

5 hours ago, Jkwellborn said:

I hated to go from dadda to daddy. My wife was always talking about how she wishes the kids would grow up so they could do stuff for themselves or other stuff. I’d always tell her, not me, we will miss all of it when it happens.

Yeah, yesterday was his first day of school. He looked so grown up in his uniform. And getting words right just fucking kills you. For a year “ok” was “o-tay.” So wife and I would say Otay as well. Then about 4 or 5 months ago he just flat out corrected us “no, it’s OK.” Felt like the villain in Temple of Doom just ripped out my heart. Wizzors became scissors. Fuck. 

[heso 2816]

Just put my daughter on the bus for her first day of kindergarten and goddammit the pollen this morning is extra stingy in the eyes. 

[Jkwellborn 6732]

My youngest started kindergarten last year with all the bullshit going on. I hated that they wouldn’t let us walk him to class or walk up to get him.

[EE2B 1565]

My oldest said “papie” for paper. It was papie towels, toilet papie, etc. It was so adorable and it sucked when she said paper for the first time.

[Modessit 5603]

I hated to go from dadda to daddy. My wife was always talking about how she wishes the kids would grow up so they could do stuff for themselves or other stuff. I’d always tell her, not me, we will miss all of it when it happens.

When my son was like a month or two and just eating and shitting and sleeping, I told my wife that I couldn't wait until he was a bit older (6 months or so) and was more interactive so we could do more stuff with him. My wife got upset that I wanted him to grow up too fast and that I should just enjoy baby time.

He's 8 now and she still brings it up.

[Celery Man 20996]

22 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Some good advice on this thread with gadgets and sleep stuff. I’ll go more “philosophy.”

Pick one thing, at least, and make it “yours” that you do with the baby. The wife can be there, and will be for a while because it’s what they do, but you run the show. Maybe it’s putting the baby to sleep, or reading a story. For me and my girls, it was bath time. 
 

And do that every day unless it’s absolutely impossible, no excuses. One day, it will be the last time you wash your child’s hair, or read a bedtime story, or lay down till they fall asleep. And you won’t know it when it’s over, that it was the last time. And it won’t have been enough times.

+1 on owning bath time. I mean, plus 1 for the whole thing and the thought process behind it, but additionally for me it's been nice to have bath time as a thing that's mine and Rory's. I enjoy it, and also my wife is still going to bed early while I hang out with baby, and it's another activity that helps us make it until her last meal and bed time.

Breastfeeding or pumping, if that's a thing y'all are doing, is a thing that necessarily is a huge burden on the wife that you don't feel as much. It seems like there is a lot when it comes to... timing it so that you are producing enough but not overproducing, being fairly helpless to go soothe the baby or do anything if she starts fussing and you are pumping, there are nasty infections and blockages and painful boob shit that can happen. Just, if she's doing that stuff understand that it's a whole deal and try and pitch in where you're able to. Do loads of baby laundry and put it away, clean all the bottles, etc. Wife will appreciate it.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

When my son was like a month or two and just eating and shitting and sleeping, I told my wife that I couldn't wait until he was a bit older (6 months or so) and was more interactive so we could do more stuff with him. My wife got upset that I wanted him to grow up too fast and that I should just enjoy baby time.

He's 8 now and she still brings it up.

I still get ptsd from the lack of sleep. lol

[heso 2816]

8 hours ago, Jkwellborn said:

My youngest started kindergarten last year with all the bullshit going on. I hated that they wouldn’t let us walk him to class or walk up to get him.

Yea they aren’t letting parents get out of the cars for drop off or pickup here. Staff member opens the door for them when you pull up. They give you a sign with the kids name on it so they know who to bring out to the car. 

[heso 2816]

Day 1 on the bus was half successful. Morning went perfect. 

the afternoon brought a thunderstorm with a torrential downpour. Got a text from the school that the bus was 20 mins behind schedule. Rain gets harder, I’m soaked from the waste down because it’s coming in sideways under the umbrella. Bus pulls up to the stop. A few kids get off, my daughter isn’t one of them. Bus driver calling back for her. Nothing. For what felt like an eternity but I’m sure was under a minute I have no idea if my kid is on this bus. Finally as I’m about to climb on the bus she comes walking out. 

it was raining so hard that the poor girl couldn’t see our house through the rain on the window so she didn’t know it was her stop and she couldn’t hear the 100 year old bus driver calling her name. 

[dcbc 14508]

On 8/25/2021 at 1:12 PM, Modessit said:

When my son was like a month or two and just eating and shitting and sleeping, I told my wife that I couldn't wait until he was a bit older (6 months or so) and was more interactive so we could do more stuff with him. My wife got upset that I wanted him to grow up too fast and that I should just enjoy baby time.

He's 8 now and she still brings it up.

And she still ain't wrong.  Mine are 16 and 12 and shit's moving too fast.  Still gonna kiss em until they're my age.

Edited August 27, 2021 by dcbc

[Enchubben 5510]

(7 y/o) Son has his first real sporting game today where I’ve been able to be involved, with flag football. Been working hard with him the last 3 weeks on trying to learn the rules, what to do and when, positions etc.  I know he’s gonna kick some ass, but proud as hell that he’s attentive and focused during practice and gives it 110%.

Hope he pancakes an opponent today.

[Brisketexan 105305]

On the other end of this process, my wife and I are preparing to put our second (and last) kid on a plane to start his adult life (a pre-college gap year language study overseas).  As of Friday afternoon, we'll be legit "empty nesters."

And we're both surprised with how hard a time we're having with it (much harder than when we sent our first away to school).  Part of it is these anxious COVID times.  But a bigger part is that it's a definitive "end" to a phase in our lives.  We are no longer a family living under one roof, and but for periodic returns home (we hope), we never will be again.  The boy even pointed out that if we ever get another dog, it won't be a "family dog."  It'll just be ours -- mine and my wife's.  We ARE looking forward to the empty nest years -- we like each other, we have plans, all of that.  But this milestone marks such a passage of time, in a year that's already been full of them.

We have no more pets.  We had to put them both down this year.  For the first time in 25+ years, no animal companions.

My mother died just a few months ago.  The passing of the baton to our generation as the oldest one is almost complete.

In our big house, it will just be the two of us.  From learning to cook for just two again, to not having our kids' energetic presence around, we are closing the book on an entire phase of our lives.

Even as there are things to look forward to, there's much to grieve.  We will never have a family with our "children" again.  That's just a fact.  It's how it's supposed to be, but it's a lot to swallow, and that realization has caught us off guard.  So, enjoy all the times you have.  Know that transitions are hard (ALL of them -- from having no kids, to having multiple kids, to having no kids in the house again).  We weren't expecting this one to hit us as hard as it is.

It's been a hard fucking year, man.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Ahhh that Saturday morning 6:30AM barge in of the bedroom door after the first week of school hits so hard.