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Surly Dad Thread


BigDHornfan

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And this has been said much earlier in the thread and on TOS, but those of you new to parenting (or about to be), expect a huge change in your group of friends.  You're going to find that you have much less time to do shit with them, and unless they are co-workers or they make an effort to come around and hang with you, don't be surprised if you get a new circle of friends that have kids the same age as yours.  

It can be a pain in the ass to go places and do stuff with little ones as it is, and it's just going to make more sense to pick up new friends.

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Wife is pregnant with #3, 38 weeks. Her water broke at 1:30 this morning but she told me to go back to bed because no regular contractions. 
 

Got the older kids to school and preschool at the normal time, then called the doctor and they told us to head to L&D. So here we are!
 

Much different than first 2 (much more relaxed) and the biggest challenge is making sure older kids are picked up from school so far. Hope it stays this way and #3 comes uneventfully. 
 

Waiting to find out if it is a boy or girl until delivery, so I’ll tell you surlyites if you’re an aunt or uncle later. 

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12 hours ago, hornian said:

Waiting to find out if it is a boy or girl until delivery, so I’ll tell you surlyites if you’re an aunt or uncle later. 

It’s a girl; y’all are all aunts!

Apparently she shares a birthday with Gordon Ramsey, so when she gets famous she will definitely replace that wanker for “most famous November 8th Birthday.”

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On 10/31/2021 at 10:32 AM, Celery Man said:

Anyone have recommendations (or avoids) on stair gates?

Had to put a couple up this weekend. 
Cumbor self closing over regalo. Cumbor is easier to open one handed and can bump it to close when through. Great for stairs when you’re carrying stuff and need to keep them from following. And it’s likely to close when left open and they touch the door. 

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12 hours ago, Shady Ray said:

That said, I can’t lie…I am excited over the possibility and

You're going to wish you had done this sooner and you will probably want another kid.  It's awesome being a parent.  And terrifying.  And soul-crushing.  And sleep-depriving. But it's also awesome.

You get to raise a kid to grow up hating OU and Arkansas for reasons that they will not understand until many years later.

And you get to play them lullaby versions of all of your favorite music (trust me, no matter what genre you like, there is a lullaby version of it somewhere on YouTube).

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I’m 41 with a 4.5 and 2.5 year old. I think I want a third, but we started a little late (don’t want to be in my 60s at HS graduation) and just recently got to a place where everyone in the house sleeps 8 hours straight at night. Wife recently decided she is content with two. I agree atomheart that you will probably want a second one after your first kid turns a year old. I’m so thankful for our second. 

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3 hours ago, Murfdogg21 said:

I’m 41 with a 4.5 and 2.5 year old. I think I want a third, but we started a little late (don’t want to be in my 60s at HS graduation)

My biggest regret.  Well, I say that, but if we started earlier, who knows what kind of kids we would have produced - when you get into "well we should have had kids 10 or 15 years ago" you get into the scenario of "they would be different than the kids you have now"..  For all of the aggravation, etc., I wouldn't trade them for anything.

But for those who haven't had kids yet, the earlier the better I think.

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My biggest regret.  Well, I say that, but if we started earlier, who knows what kind of kids we would have produced - when you get into "well we should have had kids 10 or 15 years ago" you get into the scenario of "they would be different than the kids you have now"..  For all of the aggravation, etc., I wouldn't trade them for anything.
But for those who haven't had kids yet, the earlier the better I think.

Yeah I’ve mentioned to my wife a couple of times that I wish we were younger when we had our two. Even then I was 30 and 34 when they were born.
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So, we went in for the scan at the Women’s Hospital here in Munich this morning and some kraut at the door said, “women only…you gotta wait outside. Covid regulations”. So I did. For fucking 2.5 hours…all the while she had absolutely no cell phone service in the hospital. Was a wasteland of communication until I saw her pop out of the front door.

Plus…the hospital is literally across the street from one of Munich’s oldest and best neighborhood Bier Gartens, The Taxisgarten, which was closed at the time. And ol’ Shady Ray could have used their hospitality with a 10 AM helles about that time.


But all that BS aside and as unfortunate as it was that I didn’t get to experience the first ultrasound (and given our current Covid numbers in Bavaria, I won’t experience any of the others), scan went great. She is exactly as far along as she thought, things are positioned well, and the heartbeat was rockin’, so I am hoping that this old man is going to join your ranks next summer.

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13 hours ago, Shady Ray said:

She is exactly as far along as she thought, things are positioned well, and the heartbeat was rockin’, so I am hoping that this old man is going to join your ranks next summer.

Hope so.  Sounds cliched, but there's this whole world of awesome stuff you're going to get to do with your kid, and you don't even realize that it exists right now and is going on around you.

Stuff that non-parents blow off, like "ohmygosh reading children's books to kids is so boring or sitting through children's cartoons or hanging out with other parents and talking about your kids."

My oldest is 9, and he's sailing through the Harry Potter books - I'm reading to him a chapter or so every night, but I know for a fact that he's read a book or two ahead of what I'm reading to him, but he likes me to read to him and I pretend like he hasn't read that far out.  He's finally playing board games I'm interested in, doing lots of LEGO stuff that should, in theory, be way too old for him (frustration-level wise), doing some programming stuff, doing crazy-insane stuff with Minecraft, etc., and we are planning to start watching the Marvel movies next month (he hasn't seen a single one and what he knows of Marvel is from the animated shows and the Spiderverse movie).

And if it's a girl, it's just as awesome - my daughter is watching all of the cool kids shows that I like (and having been through that with my son, I know which to avoid), and we're reading around 1st- and 2nd-grade books (both our kids seem to running a grade or two ahead, probably thanks to my wife reading to them so much when they were younger) but because I went through that with my son, I now which are the better/funnier ones, and we're doing all kinds of fun games and stuff.

Just go ahead and make a note to yourself to avoid Blippi and embrace Bluey, Peppa Pig, and Tumbleleaf.  

And never, ever let them watch an unboxing video on YouTube.

Edit: And you being a man in your 40s, you will love the chance to introduce your child/children to the old Warner Brothers cartoons with Bugs and the rest.  I'm talking the old school ones.  Kids still love those things.

Edited by atomheartbevo
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I’m 41 with a 4.5 and 2.5 year old. I think I want a third, but we started a little late (don’t want to be in my 60s at HS graduation) and just recently got to a place where everyone in the house sleeps 8 hours straight at night. Wife recently decided she is content with two. I agree atomheart that you will probably want a second one after your first kid turns a year old. I’m so thankful for our second. 
Yeah, I was 44 for my first and 47 for my 2nd. 52 now. (Got married at 36) Oldest turns 8 on Sunday. I remember picking up my kid at daycare and having other little kids yell, "Your grandpa is here!"

Wife is 10 years younger than me. If we had started earlier we would have had more. Took us a bunch of fertility treatments over a couple of years to get the first, then the second was a first try the natural way.

I'll be 63 when my oldest graduates high school, and 65 when my youngest graduates. That's what happens when you start late.
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I’m in the opposite camp. We are in the one and done club. My kid is A LOT to handle. I was 33 when he was born. 10 years later and he’s still a lot do handle, but he’s also awesome.

He was about three when my wife and I decided that we were happy with the family we had. It was a good decision.

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Now that we are expecting one (same time frame as you, Shady Ray), I imagine we will want to go for two. Before we got pregnant, we frequently discussed having one and adopting one, as my wife is adopted herself. I guess we will we reevaluate as we get further into Round 1. So ready for prenatal visit #2 and getting out of the first trimester.

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I wasn't ready for kids or being an actual grown up until my 30s, so I really could have only started a year or two earlier and don't have any regrets. I'm 36 and my wife is 29, so we're still in a pretty OK age range for her to have just started and I'm over here being glad that I didn't wait any longer than I did. I should visit a doctor again but I think it's just age that has to do with the... calculations around how much stamina I have in my back for the remainder of what I have to do in a day. It would be tough with a baby if I actually had real problems with mobility or pain. Honestly morbid obesity would be a tough issue as well. I do a lot of baby wearing and a big chunk of my life is spent laying on the ground with the baby.

I'm confident we'll go for at least one more, and really the scary thing is just starting over with the newborn stage immediately upon having a 2 year old. I kinda wish we had multiples.

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4 hours ago, Celery Man said:

I wasn't ready for kids or being an actual grown up until my 30s, so I really could have only started a year or two earlier and don't have any regrets. I'm 36 and my wife is 29, so we're still in a pretty OK age range for her to have just started and I'm over here being glad that I didn't wait any longer than I did. I should visit a doctor again but I think it's just age that has to do with the... calculations around how much stamina I have in my back for the remainder of what I have to do in a day. It would be tough with a baby if I actually had real problems with mobility or pain. Honestly morbid obesity would be a tough issue as well. I do a lot of baby wearing and a big chunk of my life is spent laying on the ground with the baby.

I'm confident we'll go for at least one more, and really the scary thing is just starting over with the newborn stage immediately upon having a 2 year old. I kinda wish we had multiples.

talking homer simpson GIF

It's gonna happen on round 2, bub. It's science. 

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Got roped into an Among Us game with my oldest and his friends.
Don't play Among Us with 9 and 10 year olds.  They think it's hilarious to be a crew mate/good guy and pretend to be a bad guy, etc.

had no clue what you were referring to. looked it up and was reminded how much i hate video games. i have a 2 yo and a 1 month old and the last video game i owned was sonic the hedgehog on sega genesis.
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9 minutes ago, patrickdrinksbeer said:


had no clue what you were referring to. looked it up and was reminded how much i hate video games. i have a 2 yo and a 1 month old and the last video game i owned was sonic the hedgehog on sega genesis.

You'll find out soon enough. My kids play that shit all the time with their cousins. I still don't know what it actually is.  But I too had a sega genesis. 

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12 minutes ago, patrickdrinksbeer said:

had no clue what you were referring to. looked it up and was reminded how much i hate video games. i have a 2 yo and a 1 month old and the last video game i owned was sonic the hedgehog on sega genesis.

Oh just wait.  Video games will be your salvation. Or Netflix/PBS Kids/Amazon Prime Kids or whatever on a tablet.

When you need that 15 minutes of quiet time or need a short nap, you'll happily hand off the iPad (locked down to a single game or app) to the kids.

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My 3 YO transitioned to a full bed (with bed rails or whatever)I’ve seen him doing flying elbow drops from the top rope at 3AM some nights. He’s also learned how to pick the tape off of the light thats meant to keep it off at all times, so that’s fun.

Your nights may be sleep deprived sometimes, but you still have your freedom

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1 hour ago, NoName said:

went and got a 4D sonogram late last week, made it even more real than the realization that we are under 10 weeks haha

incredibly excited!!!

that said, we need to add a few more (smaller) things to the registry - any additional recommendations?

https://babyshusher.com
We use a Hatch white noise machine for sleep and naps, but honestly this thing is a life saver when trying to just get him to fall asleep or calm down. Works well for taking in the stroller, car, etc too.

Also can look into a Rhome portable white noise machine, admittedly much less annoying sounding than the shusher. 

some attachments for your stroller… we got a little caddy to keep phones/sunglasses/whatever, a portable fan for him, and a cup holder. 
 

electric nail filer

 

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2 hours ago, Etexhorn13 said:

https://babyshusher.com
We use a Hatch white noise machine for sleep and naps, but honestly this thing is a life saver when trying to just get him to fall asleep or calm down. Works well for taking in the stroller, car, etc too.

Also can look into a Rhome portable white noise machine, admittedly much less annoying sounding than the shusher. 

some attachments for your stroller… we got a little caddy to keep phones/sunglasses/whatever, a portable fan for him, and a cup holder. 
 

electric nail filer

 

TYVM!

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First air travel completed. That could have gone a lot worse. We were camped out at the gate at ABIA for like 2 and a half hours yesterday because security actually wasn't that bad. Three diaper changes because she pooped immediately after I brought her back from her preflight change. The flight down was pretty easy, the flight back up yesterday she didn't want to nap and I ended up having to hold her sideways and sing for half the flight. Tried to stay quiet but I can feel the don't give a fuck dad powers coming on singing taylor swift on an airplane.

Speaking of which, jazzed about this sweatshirt that my sister in law made me with her cricut. We've gone heavy on the pandas, H&M had some panda baby stuff and she saw me searching for adult male panda sweatshirts. Now I need to go buy the baby sweater in every larger size.

pandas-3x.jpg

 

Edited by Celery Man
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