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BigDHornfan

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Hi guys! Just posting from our hospital room. Not even sure what day it is, but I’m all up in this thread now, after the arrival of my first and last born spawn at the spry age of 49. Do I get an o

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Nivek

Nivek 16916

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Second game of the season and our first win on the season of T-ball.  My son (6) had 3 runs and assisted on an out.   Daughter (4) had 2 runs.   Boy was running from first to second and an infielder ran into the running lane on his way to chase the ball and collided with my boy.  My boy got up and ran to second base.  

After the game our firstbaseman saw a kid from the other team crying so he went over there and gave him one of his snack tickets and walked with him to the concession stand.  

 

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dingleberryswitzer

dingleberryswitzer 2724

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A little advice for new or future parents: so we've been marking or kids height on a door frame add they grow, standard stuff.  I realize whenever we move that's just going to get painted over.  So if could do it again I'd go to the hardware  store, get a nice piece if white pine or something to use.   When they're all grown up I'd put a coat of poly or something to seal it.  

 

Also pro tip: car seats are great for securing full growlers.  

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kmac30

kmac30 416

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Do first kids have it harder? I wasn’t a first and neither was my wife. My first seems to have a little disconnect at home sometimes because she has twin brother and sister that have a special relationship (the twin bond). I see her feeling left out sometimes. Most of the time it doesn’t seem to bother her. But other times it seems to really get at her.

As for being the first, she’s the one pioneering the way. In jest people say the first has it harder. I’m starting to see it a little. I will also say she gets to do some things the others haven’t when they reached her age.

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Modessit

Modessit 5598

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Do first kids have it harder? I wasn’t a first and neither was my wife. My first seems to have a little disconnect at home sometimes because she has twin brother and sister that have a special relationship (the twin bond). I see her feeling left out sometimes. Most of the time it doesn’t seem to bother her. But other times it seems to really get at her.

 

As for being the first, she’s the one pioneering the way. In jest people say the first has it harder. I’m starting to see it a little. I will also say she gets to do some things the others haven’t when they reached her age.

I'm a first. Sister 2.5 years younger. Brother 7 years younger.

 

I always say that 1st kids are practice kids. Parents are more strict, protective, controlling, etc. By the time the 2nd or 3rd kid gets to those same issues the parents are much more laid back or helpful.

 

You might think it's limited to little things like limiting the first kid to only organic baby food then letting the 2nd kid eat mulch off of the sidewalk, but it persists through all the major milestones. I had to buy my first car (used) and insurance with money I'd saved from my job. My sister and brother were both given their first cars (used) and had their insurance paid. Nobody talked to me about college or financing for it, so I joined the military. Both of my siblings got cosigned loans for their higher education (although my brother later finished his on his own dime).

 

I always tell my wife that my parents expected me to be independent and that once they discovered that meant I rebelled more because I wanted to make my own decisions they ended up treating my siblings differently. It probably also had something to do with the fact I showed signs of high intelligence at a young age and they figured I didn't need as much attention because I learned so quickly. I think that the attention I needed was more emotional, and perhaps I'd have a different life if there had been more support on that front.

 

I don't know how old your kids are, or the age separation, but making sure she feels loved and included family-wise is probably the best thing you can do. And it might not hurt to evaluate whether you treat her differently because she's the "oldest". Kids won't always voice their frustration of seeing their younger siblings get privileges or no punishment for doing things when they did or didn't at that age. I know it bothered me a lot when my sister or bother got to do stuff or got away with stuff that I didn't.

 

The twin bond is just another obstacle, and I don't know how that can be dealt with.

 

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RCRanger03

RCRanger03 1049

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My second daughter Clare turns 1 on Saturday, that's bonkers. Having 2 has been easier than expected on the infant side, but harder than expected on the 3 year old toddler side (or maybe that's just toddlers).

We're thinking of a third maybe in a year or two, anyone that's gone that route have advice? Wife is only 29 so we've got some biological time to space them out more, but we both feel like if it's going to happen we shouldn't get to far out of baby/toddler zone and feel the sweet sweet relief of not dealing with that intensity or we'll never want to go back.

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kmac30

kmac30 416

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I was a second and my parents didn’t give a shit what I did.

My oldest just turned 6 and the twins are 4 (18 month separation). I think you brought up some good points and I’m going to talk with wife and start paying more attention.

I think it could be little shit for her like she goes to school (kinder) every day while the others only go a couple days. She thinks she’s missing out sometimes when she’s not home.

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Modessit

Modessit 5598

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Maybe. Give her lots of hugs, and maybe sometimes do something with just her even if it's just going to the store.

One of my cousins has three kids of various ages. They have a really awesome zoo nearby. She and her husband sometimes takes each kid there by themselves for the whole day while the other two stay with the grandparents. Each kid gets one-on-one time and special treatment with mom and dad. Seems to help.

Right now my two kids are 4 (boy) and 2 (girl). 27 month difference. They love hanging out with each other right now and go to the same daycare, but I'm sure that will change as they get older - maybe when he starts public school in a couple years.

We're older. No more kids planned.

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Nivek

Nivek 16916

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Posted
1 hour ago, kmac30 said:

Do first kids have it harder? I wasn’t a first and neither was my wife. My first seems to have a little disconnect at home sometimes because she has twin brother and sister that have a special relationship (the twin bond). I see her feeling left out sometimes. Most of the time it doesn’t seem to bother her. But other times it seems to really get at her.

As for being the first, she’s the one pioneering the way. In jest people say the first has it harder. I’m starting to see it a little. I will also say she gets to do some things the others haven’t when they reached her age.

Depends on the family and the kid.  I was told I had it easy since I was the baby, with an older sister +2, and older brother +4.  Getting beaten up constantly and watching them hand everything to him (college, car, attention) that dismissed with each kid, so I was left with the least support.  No one gave a shit about my activities or education, unlike his.  He also benefitted by being named in a trust written before my sister and I were born.  No braces, no car, no one paid my bills when I was poor.    

 

 

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Hornstrader

Hornstrader 179

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My boys are 20 and 15. I used to have a movie night with the older one every 4-6 weeks when he was 5 and 6. They realize fast they are not the absolute center of the universe any longer. Nothing major but a trip to Whataburger and movie without his little brother were great memories.  Man time flies

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CleverNickname

CleverNickname 1308

Posted
Posted (edited)
13 hours ago, pacman said:

Another sidebar, what made you all choose i9 vs a local(insert town name) soccer association?

I9 is less intense, for the most part, but I wouldn't do it after the introductory season I think. My daughter started Town & Country soccer in the second grade. Some of the girls on her girl scout unit played on the same team, and she LOVES being on there with friends. She probably should have started the year before, but its working out. My son is in kindergarten (age 4 would have been a riot, and possibly pointless). The main thing with I9 is its just a 1 day commitment, we practice a bit before the game (actually T&C might be like that at age 5-6, too). Also, its always Sunday, so I don't have to be at the T&C fields like 6 hours in a row. But I suspect this fall we'll be double soccer parents. 

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zman13

zman13 178

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Posted
4 hours ago, CleverNickname said:

I9 is less intense, for the most part, but I wouldn't do it after the introductory season I think. My daughter started Town & Country soccer in the second grade. Some of the girls on her girl scout unit played on the same team, and she LOVES being on there with friends. She probably should have started the year before, but its working out. My son is in kindergarten (age 4 would have been a riot, and possibly pointless). The main thing with I9 is its just a 1 day commitment, we practice a bit before the game (actually T&C might be like that at age 5-6, too). Also, its always Sunday, so I don't have to be at the T&C fields like 6 hours in a row. But I suspect this fall we'll be double soccer parents. 

I've done both (i9 and local leagues). i9 is definitely less of a time commitment with practice and the game in the same time block.  But I noticed that the kids don't seem to learn as much when practice and games are together and a lot of kids got tired out towards the end of the game. So I've sworn off the i9 leagues (and I was a coach last year) to do the neighborhood leagues instead. 

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USMC

USMC 7

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Baby number 2 is arriving in mid October.  Also just found out this past weekend that it is another girl.  My first daughter is pretty kick-ass so maybe it won't be as bad as it sounds.  I'll keep you guys posted.  

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solamente73

solamente73 1132

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Posted

Fucking Hell.

Last 5 months have seen this originating from the same 3yo Patient Zero:

-Nov/Dec: Severe gastroenteritis makes its way through entire family... TWICE... 6 weeks total.

-Jan: sinus infection makes it through entire family... 2 weeks total.

-Feb: Flu makes it’s way through entire family... 3.5 weeks total.

-Mar: respiratory infection through entire family... 2 weeks total

-Today: Patient Zero presents a 101.3* fever ... herewego.gif

I never got sick before having kids.  I’m starting to lose it.   

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Homercles

Homercles 10205

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Baby number 2 is arriving in mid October.  Also just found out this past weekend that it is another girl.  My first daughter is pretty kick-ass so maybe it won't be as bad as it sounds.  I'll keep you guys posted.  


Congrats! On one hand getting to go through the new baby process a second time, wiser and more experienced, was a wonderful thing...so much more enjoyable when I already knew the routine...plus it’s been great to watch the budding friendship between her (20 months) and my son (4.5yo).

On the other hand I find life to be about 3x as challenging...she had a rough newborn phase (bad acid reflux), daycare expenses are more than double, we are now playing man-to-man instead of the easier zone defense, the routine has to be stricter during weekdays so we can do the 430-730 dinner/bath/bed on time with both of us being busy until 8 + have to get up at 5, etc.

Sadly my parents are the hands off type with their own problems...her folks passed away when she was young...seems most of my friends have one set of parents you have to work to get involved and another set you have to work to keep from wanting the kids every single weekend. That’s part of my poor outlook right now because I only really get my wife fully relaxed if we get a hotel/take a trip without the kids, and that takes Normandy levels of planning whereas some of our friends have that option anytime they want it.

Overall I love having two but catch myself dreaming of the days we had just one, nap time was a chance to get laid and we both weren’t so exhausted all the time as one was on kid duty while the other could chill/cook/clean. We’ve got infidelity, rocky marriages and divorce happening all around us right now so I’ve been more introspective and worrisome than normal...so I’m just trying to be the best dad I can while working on what I can control and being patient knowing life gets easier as they get older.

Not that you asked for that tirade...when I see my son teaching my daughter how to use the slide at a park I just gotta smile.
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SMUlawUTgrad

SMUlawUTgrad 81

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We’ve begun the planning on the second and what you’re talking about is my big fear. My parents are not around to help and hers are pretty busy with their own thing/ their other grand kid. They’re helpful she. They can be super helpful, but next week will be our first night away in 16 months. So it’s tough to think about adding another.

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Kringelbert Fishtybuns

Kringelbert Fishtybuns 943

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Posted
9 hours ago, solamente73 said:

Fucking Hell.

Last 5 months have seen this originating from the same 3yo Patient Zero:

-Nov/Dec: Severe gastroenteritis makes its way through entire family... TWICE... 6 weeks total.

-Jan: sinus infection makes it through entire family... 2 weeks total.

-Feb: Flu makes it’s way through entire family... 3.5 weeks total.

-Mar: respiratory infection through entire family... 2 weeks total

-Today: Patient Zero presents a 101.3* fever ... herewego.gif

I never got sick before having kids.  I’m starting to lose it.   

One of you will probably still get sick, but sometimes you have to go strict quarantine method at least until the fevers break.  Don't let them play/bathe together.  If one parent gets sick, they go sleep in the guest bed.  Sick parent also doesn't make any food for a non sick person.

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solamente73

solamente73 1132

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Posted

Right there with ya, Homercles.  Our two are 2 years apart and still in diapers.  Zero support network, and nearest family is 1400 miles away; so jealous of our friends who have family babysitters available at a moment’s notice.  Mrs. Sola (no pics) and I have a super solid relationship but the lack of any time at all to ourselves is incredibly taxing.  I dream of the days of being DINKs - that will never be again but we’ve got to figure out a way to have lives beyond work, kids, and exhaustion.  

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Amobie

Amobie 58

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Posted
On 4/1/2018 at 8:02 PM, dingleberryswitzer said:

Also pro tip: car seats are great for securing full growlers.  

Carseats are magnets for pretty much any sort of food and drink too. 

We try to avoid using milk in the car because if it spills and gets absorbed by the seat the car smells awful.  It's especially bad during Summer months.  Pay for some seat covers for the back seat and try to limit their liquids to water while in your vehicle.  All it takes is one fuck up/tantrum and you'll have to get the car detailed.  Also get familiar with how you remove the fabric on your child's carseat because you will likely want to wash it pretty regularly.  

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

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We just hit the 29 week mark on#2... this pregnancy has been night and day vs #1. No bed rest, no short cervix, Cath, still has gestational diabetes, wife can still go to work. I don't know how people can do bed rest while having toddlers/kids without having a parent or in law there at all time

 

 

Reading these second kid stories is terrifying. Plus we plan on building a new home this spring/ summer to accommodate 2 kids better than our current one. Should be a wild 7-10 months!

 

 

 

 

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Hunchback

Hunchback 51

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Anyone have any ideas on the best way to handle a 3yo girl that absolutely won't cooperate when it's time to leave the house? Won't get dressed, no socks/shoes, screaming, etc. We try to let the kids make their own choices so they have some control over what to wear, what they want for breakfast, etc but when the time comes that we *have* to go and patience is exhausted what is the best course of action? I'm not big on bribes because I don't want to reward bad behavior. My instinct is to just pick her up and carry her out screaming but I also don't want to teach her that it's ok for someone bigger/stronger than you to force you to do something that you don't want to.

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SmokeyTheBear

SmokeyTheBear 5562

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My 4 year old decided he wanted to have a couple big milestones in one weekend: first loose baby tooth and learned to ride his bike without training wheels.

One does not correlate with the other.

Very proud of him cause he took to riding his bike extremely quick. He's been riding with training wheels for about a year, took them off, found a nice flat section in our neighbourhood, pushed him a bit, and he went going on first try. Turned and stopped without a crash.

Feels good man. 

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USMC

USMC 7

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Posted (edited)
25 minutes ago, GlenFromTheMailRoom said:

In on Dad thread for a second time here in about 7 weeks with baby girl no. 2 joining the fray.

I'm already wrapped around the finger of girl no. 1, so girl no. 2 pretty much means I've said to hell with retiring.

Right there with ya.  Girl no. 1 has me wrapped up so badly that that's the sole reason I kind of wanted a boy this time around.  It's difficult to imagine right now having time and room for two Daddy's girls, but I'm certain I'll figure it out.  

As far as having help with baby no. 2 goes, we are pretty lucky on that front.  We have her parents 10 miles down the road who are absolutely bonkers about our kid(s).  I suppose a big reason for it is we are the only source for grandchildren as my SIL is not able to have kids, so they are always more than willing to help out.  My parents on the other hand, live a bit further out and it takes a hell of a lot more effort on our part to get them involved.  Unlike my in-laws, my parents have had the pleasure of being blessed with 6 grandchildren thus far, so maybe that has something to do with it as well. 

Edited by USMC
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Patricio Swayze

Patricio Swayze 17058

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Baby number 2 is arriving in mid October.  Also just found out this past weekend that it is another girl.  My first daughter is pretty kick-ass so maybe it won't be as bad as it sounds.  I'll keep you guys posted.  

We have two girls (3 years old and 10 months). It is awesome. The oldest is a quite the pistol/little shit, but most of the time I love that about her. I want my girls to be confident and strong.
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Amobie

Amobie 58

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Posted
2 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Reading these second kid stories is terrifying. Plus we plan on building a new home this spring/ summer to accommodate 2 kids better than our current one. Should be a wild 7-10 months!

Our kids are 8,6 and 2..  Our second was way easier than our first in pretty much every respect.  The 3rd one was an easy pregnancy but wife had postpartum about a year after.  

32 minutes ago, SmokeyTheBear said:

My 4 year old decided he wanted to have a couple big milestones in one weekend: first loose baby tooth and learned to ride his bike without training wheels.

Haha  Mine seem to have to sync their milestones together. 

One gets in trouble at school for kissing a girl, the middle has his birthday and the third says her first words all on the same day.  

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USMC

USMC 7

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We did the same, but our increments were much more spread out and the initial check-in/soothing didn't take place until the 15 minute mark and then 20, 30, 45 (never made it to 45).  Rarely did she cry for more than 20 minutes and it worked.  So much so that she prefers sleeping in her own bed to the point that she won't even take a nap with me in our bed, so I feel like we screwed up and missed out in that aspect.  The only way I can get her to nap with me/us is if she falls asleep on the ride home from some place and we lay her in our bed to finish off her nap.

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Goofyboy

Goofyboy 3268

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Anyone have any ideas on the best way to handle a 3yo girl that absolutely won't cooperate when it's time to leave the house? Won't get dressed, no socks/shoes, screaming, etc. We try to let the kids make their own choices so they have some control over what to wear, what they want for breakfast, etc but when the time comes that we *have* to go and patience is exhausted what is the best course of action? I'm not big on bribes because I don't want to reward bad behavior. My instinct is to just pick her up and carry her out screaming but I also don't want to teach her that it's ok for someone bigger/stronger than you to force you to do something that you don't want to.


Try changing up the routine. Get her up, dressed and ready before anything else.

If that’s a no go, try giving a time count down - 3 minutes till you have to get dressed. 1
Minute to get dressed... the shifting of gears might be throwing her off.

Lastly, walk out the door and start loading the car. Might scare her into thinking you left.

Good luck. My kid is not an easy one and has taken a lot of trial and error to figure him out. If it gets worse, go see a therapist that deals with kids. Ours had tons of ideas and things for us to try that we never thought of.
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pacman

pacman 7354

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

It'll pay off. Do you want a toddler sleeping sideways in between you and your wife because you didn't train them to sleep in their own bed when they were younger?

Meh..we didn't sleep train and our kids rarely (occasionally, all fell asleep during movie night) slept with us as toddlers...

 

 

**our kids slept in a locked closet**

Edited by pacman
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Hunchback

Hunchback 51

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Posted
1 hour ago, Goofyboy said:

 


Try changing up the routine. Get her up, dressed and ready before anything else.

If that’s a no go, try giving a time count down - 3 minutes till you have to get dressed. 1
Minute to get dressed... the shifting of gears might be throwing her off.

 

Good ideas. Wife and I discussed after the fact and came up with your first suggestion ourselves...her older brother has to get dressed to go to K, so I proposed getting her up and dressed at the same time so everyone is doing it together. We talk about all being on the same team so this will hopefully hit those same notes and work. Hopefully.

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Chad Fuck

Chad Fuck 17658

Posted
Posted
On 4/1/2018 at 8:02 PM, dingleberryswitzer said:

A little advice for new or future parents: so we've been marking or kids height on a door frame add they grow, standard stuff.  I realize whenever we move that's just going to get painted over.  So if could do it again I'd go to the hardware  store, get a nice piece if white pine or something to use.   When they're all grown up I'd put a coat of poly or something to seal it.  

 

Also pro tip: car seats are great for securing full growlers.  

This isn't mine, but I did something just like it.  Free to move anywhere.

original_kids-rule-height-chart-mid-oak.

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