Surly Dad Thread

[Celery Man 21003]

I was trying to figure this out with my wife over Easter - she was talking about Easter presents, and I have no recollection of any such thing. There was candy, but it was like... 10-15 plastic balls filled with little M&Ms, robins eggs, melted fun size snickers, etc. That definitely did not outbalance the other part of Easter which was getting dressed up in some little pastel or seersucker outfit and wearing church shoes all day because afterwards we were at the Smiths. Maybe some years there was a stuffed animal or something (maybe) , and I remember one year where some drunk dad was loading the Easter eggs with $10s and $20s, which was a fun year. Wife thinks I'm crazy and grew up getting gifts on Easter.

 

Daughter is about to turn 1. What a fun age - she's a handful and can be super moody, but she's started walking, she's started hugging, she's getting into all sorts of stuff. Man I left her alone in her nursery for 30 seconds last night to switch over some laundry and...

 

 

 

 

[mdmost 43056]

I hope you have that anchored to the wall. 

[Celery Man 21003]

Yeah that was several weekends worth of bolting everything in place once she started crawling

[Etexhorn13 3053]

4 hours ago, Celery Man said:

I was trying to figure this out with my wife over Easter - she was talking about Easter presents, and I have no recollection of any such thing. There was candy, but it was like... 10-15 plastic balls filled with little M&Ms, robins eggs, melted fun size snickers, etc. That definitely did not outbalance the other part of Easter which was getting dressed up in some little pastel or seersucker outfit and wearing church shoes all day because afterwards we were at the Smiths. Maybe some years there was a stuffed animal or something (maybe) , and I remember one year where some drunk dad was loading the Easter eggs with $10s and $20s, which was a fun year. Wife thinks I'm crazy and grew up getting gifts on Easter.

 

Daughter is about to turn 1. What a fun age - she's a handful and can be super moody, but she's started walking, she's started hugging, she's getting into all sorts of stuff. Man I left her alone in her nursery for 30 seconds last night to switch over some laundry and...

 

 

 

 

I have just about that same green color in my son’s room… I think I may have even stolen the idea from something you’d posted in here. Anyway, solid choice. 

[Celery Man 21003]

hahaha that looks like an exact match

[Thatguy 8886]

10 hours ago, Celery Man said:

I was trying to figure this out with my wife over Easter - she was talking about Easter presents, and I have no recollection of any such thing. There was candy, but it was like... 10-15 plastic balls filled with little M&Ms, robins eggs, melted fun size snickers, etc. That definitely did not outbalance the other part of Easter which was getting dressed up in some little pastel or seersucker outfit and wearing church shoes all day because afterwards we were at the Smiths. Maybe some years there was a stuffed animal or something (maybe) , and I remember one year where some drunk dad was loading the Easter eggs with $10s and $20s, which was a fun year. Wife thinks I'm crazy and grew up getting gifts on Easter.

 

Daughter is about to turn 1. What a fun age - she's a handful and can be super moody, but she's started walking, she's started hugging, she's getting into all sorts of stuff. Man I left her alone in her nursery for 30 seconds last night to switch over some laundry and...

 

 

 

 

 

5 hours ago, Etexhorn13 said:

I have just about that same green color in my son’s room… I think I may have even stolen the idea from something you’d posted in here. Anyway, solid choice. 

  White folk-

  Y'all love y'all some accent walls.

[Celery Man 21003]

33 minutes ago, Thatguy said:

 

  White folk-

  Y'all love y'all some accent walls.

Could be worse

[Etexhorn13 3053]

1 hour ago, Thatguy said:

 

  White folk-

  Y'all love y'all some accent walls.

Really makes the room pop, my brotha. Woodland forest theme and all. 

[JohnnyRage 1617]

SIAPTooDeath, What is the appropriate age for ADD? My 6yr old has a medium to mild case of it when he is stimulated or running himself exhausted. Struggling with reading.

[JohnnyRage 1617]

My long time Doc said 8-9 years old.

 

[Thatguy 8886]

3 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Could be worse

 

2 hours ago, Etexhorn13 said:

Really makes the room pop, my brotha. Woodland forest theme and all. 

  Yeah, we have the French Grey with the NYPD Blue combo in the theater room at my house. Looks good.

[Thatguy 8886]

On 4/18/2022 at 5:33 PM, JesusSweatDuck said:

Man, the past 12 months have been really hard with my daughter.  The pandemic and all the fall out of not being at school, lost social interaction, coupled with being a teenager really impacted her mental health.  Luckily we figured it out, and got her help.  Watching her improve over the past 6 months, and also be genuinely happy doing something she loves has been so awesome.  I'm so proud to be her dad.

 

   Yes. We are right there with you. Type 1 diabetic two years ago and we were really concerned with her mental health. She was being made fun of for being a diabetic and treated like a pariah. She wouldn't talk to anyone, kept her hair in her face everyday, and even walked with her head down, trying desperately not to make eye contact. She played developmental vball at a ragtag club when she was 10. Missed the entire year due to dropping weight, week hospital stay, and subsequent diagnosis. We had a local high school girl work with her the season before her 7th grade year. She barely made the 7th grade B-team and made the last travel team at her club. However she started improving at a fast rate. By the middle of the season the top team called her up for her services. This year we made the 8th A-team and started. Switched to a solid club and she walked in as an unknown and made the top team as a pin hitter. She seems to be turning the corner. Her eyes are bright again. Her confidence is returning. She is socializing and hanging out with friends. She is headed to High School next year with goals of making the JV squad. At her school every single kid from 7b on up to high school plays club, so that is a great feat.

[hookemATL 11916]

Thank you both for sharing. 
 

my eldest daughter just turned 7 and is ready to start up with team sports, but has also expressed interest in tennis. She’s active, athletic and pretty competitive (almost too much so sometimes). 
 

My first thought would be to go with soccer now and then see if it’s a fit. Any tips on starting off in team sports for young kids?  I want her to have fun but also learn some of those valuable lessons that will help push her once she hits junior high (which will be here before I know it I’m sure). 

[CleverNickname 1321]

8 hours ago, hookemATL said:

My first thought would be to go with soccer now and then see if it’s a fit. Any tips on starting off in team sports for young kids?  I want her to have fun but also learn some of those valuable lessons that will help push her once she hits junior high (which will be here before I know it I’m sure). 

You are 3 years too late. Just kidding. Sort of. Soccer is a good one. Sometimes there are mini (6 week) basketball seasons in the winter to try something knew. Softball is an option, too. Some teams get into elaborate chants and stuff. I could see girls really enjoying that. 

You'll find out soon if she is okay with contact. If not, then tennis.  If she okay with contact, then there are more team sport options. Women's lacrosse looks fun as heck. 

[Thatguy 8886]

On 4/22/2022 at 11:02 PM, hookemATL said:

Thank you both for sharing. 
 

my eldest daughter just turned 7 and is ready to start up with team sports, but has also expressed interest in tennis. She’s active, athletic and pretty competitive (almost too much so sometimes). 
 

My first thought would be to go with soccer now and then see if it’s a fit. Any tips on starting off in team sports for young kids?  I want her to have fun but also learn some of those valuable lessons that will help push her once she hits junior high (which will be here before I know it I’m sure). 

   If I were going to be candid I would say be honest with yourself about what type of athlete you have. It was obvious that she was going to be on the taller side, so we knew early that soccer was a dead end for us. We tried a track club(she hated it even though she showed promise), but ultimately fell into volleyball. Club sports are time consuming and expensive. We spend 20k annually for volleyball. My generation used to say let them try everything and see what they like. However, kids are specializing earlier and earlier. For example, if you aren't playing year round volleyball by middle school you will probably get pushed out of it.

 

[Guest]

I lean to the "let them try what they want" side of the equation.

Every activity is not a quest to become elite.  It's a lot about discovering self interests or what drives that inner "motor."  Learned skills and behaviors can translate to other activities/ endeavors in which they truly are interested/ excellent.

[Guest]

addendum  to post above.

Spoiler

Victory and achievement can be different for different people.  At a certain point, it's also about the kids having fun and enjoying the activity. If we had told him to quit cross-country as part of our decision, it would have crushed him.  He loved it, even if he eventually decided to apply himself m other activities and stopped running CC.  That was his choice, certainly not ours.

 

[hookemATL 11916]

6 hours ago, slorch said:

I lean to the "let them try what they want" side of the equation.

Every activity is not a quest to become elite.  It's a lot about discovering self interests or what drives that inner "motor."  Learned skills and behaviors can translate to other activities/ endeavors in which they truly are interested/ excellent.

This is my only real goal. Anything else is gravy. 
 

She’s tall, has good endurance, and hates to lose. Tennis is a given since I played a lot growing up and it’s cheap and easy to start up.  She’s mostly been mentioning soccer, and we do a fair bit of kicking it around in the backyard. 

[McFly 606]

[fattyflattie 4638]

8 hours ago, hookemATL said:

This is my only real goal. Anything else is gravy. 
 

She’s tall, has good endurance, and hates to lose. Tennis is a given since I played a lot growing up and it’s cheap and easy to start up.  She’s mostly been mentioning soccer, and we do a fair bit of kicking it around in the backyard. 

We've had a lot of luck with softball, competition (for one of them) gymnastics, and long distance running.  If she's tall at that age, she'll be a top player in softball.  Once they get a bit older, 10U or so, some of the smaller girls will start to shine. But before that, it's largely a size game.  My oldest, which is the best athlete of the three, is just normal sized, and is smaller than a lot of her teammates.  But she's got jets in her feet, and that hides ALOT.  Just has more of a niche game. But she really enjoys it.  We don't do the club stuff because her #1 is gymnastics.  She's really taken off there, once we got into the more "serious" competition type classes.  Oh, and try swimming.  Their mother was a swimmer up into college so it was important to her.  Oldest two are plus swimmers on the team.  The good thing about swim is there are LOTS of awards, and you have lots of meets for them to meet people.  We only do seasonal because year round is an absolutely insane schedule.  All 3 have benefited tremendously from swim, along with the peace of mind it affords us with a pool in the yard.  

We've been on teams that lost alot, we were on a team where they won every game by an average of 12 runs, and we've been on some middle of the road teams.  Even had a middle of the road team go into extra innings in the championship game.  We've covered the gambit on how to win, how to lose, etc.  It really does help them grow.

eta: it turbofucks your personal schedule.  I hope you don't like to hunt or fish.  

Edited April 25, 2022 by fattyflattie

[hookemATL 11916]

What’s this hunt/fish activity you speak of (we had a baby last year so it’s been tough to find time to get out) but yea I totally get that part.
 

We want to keep it very slow to start and still find time for her to enjoy outdoor stuff and her ballet classes. I know she will lean in to something sports related, and I’ll be there to help her be her best. 

 

[Thatguy 8886]

22 hours ago, slorch said:

I lean to the "let them try what they want" side of the equation.

Every activity is not a quest to become elite.  It's a lot about discovering self interests or what drives that inner "motor."  Learned skills and behaviors can translate to other activities/ endeavors in which they truly are interested/ excellent.

 

15 hours ago, hookemATL said:

This is my only real goal. Anything else is gravy. 
 

She’s tall, has good endurance, and hates to lose. Tennis is a given since I played a lot growing up and it’s cheap and easy to start up.  She’s mostly been mentioning soccer, and we do a fair bit of kicking it around in the backyard. 

   This was the thought process we started on too. However, we live in a middle class to upper middle class area. Every single kid on the A and B team in 7th or 8th grade plays club volleyball. Every. Single. One. In fact, there are kids who play club volleyball who couldn't make the school team. A girl on her club team is top 10 in the country in softball and has to quit vball next year because it interferes with club softball. This isn't a parental choice, this is a not enough time choice. The girl is a ridiculously good vball player too, but if your kid is excelling at a sport they are going to have to make a choice just to remain competitive. Otherwise the sport itself is going to push them out. Parenting has nothing to do with it. In fact, our kid's middle school requires you to play two sports.

  In our day we got recruited out of our schools. Now these kids are being recruited from the clubs, and the schools are insignificant. The recruiters could care less to see them play against the one or two good players they face during their school season. How did you play vs the top level competition you saw playing club is what they wonder. You go to these tournaments and they are crawling with college coaches looking for the up and coming talent. In fact, Jerritt Elliott was walking around two tournaments ago. Sports like football are the last remaining holdovers. We are turning the corner to high school. If we could continue having her in two sports we would. School tryouts are Aug 1st and they play their first scrimmage 6 days later. That runs until Dec and then club takes over from there. Nationals straddles the last week in June/1st week of July. Club tryouts for the next year(yeah 6 months before the season) are typically between the 6th and 9th of July, right after you get back from Nationals. That gives you a couple days for family vacations and that's it.

  If your kid wants to continue sports past middle school and you live in an area where people are affluent enough to easily afford the club fees and personal training, this is what they will be staring at. Parents are just along for the ride.

[Guest]

9 minutes ago, Thatguy said:

 

   Parenting has nothing to do with it. In fact, our kid's middle school requires you to play two sports.

Parents are just along for the ride.

public school?  Hard to believe.  Two sports or 2 ECs?  That's a huge difference. 

 

Edited April 25, 2022 by slorch

[Samson's Wig 3194]

Lots of value in playing sports, of course. But the way we've turned it into religion in this country is fucking stupid, and it's not good for the kids.  That 2% or fewer who get college scholarships have been winnowed down almost entirely to the children of pro/collegiate athletes and/or kids with parents who ride their ass into the ground.   The other 98% spend an entire childhood focused on a sport that will cease to have any meaning for them when they graduate high school.  And then you're sending a kid with a very narrow band of experience out into the world.   Not good, Bob.  Unless your kid is truly in love with playing the game, club sports are throwing money down the toilet and creating an imbalance in your kids' life.  I've been around a ton of club sports kids through family and my kids' friends, and I've only met a couple who weren't just doing it because mom and dad wanted them to. Fake-rich suburbanites spending their retirement money on select/club sports may be the ultimate example of the stupid American stereotype, especially when these parents are often the same ones up at the school board meetings demanding books be banned.

As an aside, physical activity and competitive sports, at least in public schools, should be intramural and every student should be involved if physically capable.  Spending millions of tax dollars for a football stadium that 60-80 kids utilize, or a basketball gym that maybe 100 kids utilize, is beyond fucking stupid.  If parents want to waste their money on club leagues in some desperate hope that their kid will go pro or get a scholarship, more power to them.  The rest of us shouldn't be subsidizing these irrational fantasies in public schools, though.

  

[NoName 16408]

2% of high school athletes in total go on to get a scholarship, then another 2% go on and play professional sports. but the percent going from HS to NCAA is much higher.

the numbers on athletes vs scholarships is a whole different discussion, as per this NFHS document there are ~150k D1 and D2 athletes (~650 schools) and ~180k D3 athletes (~450 schools).

from taking a few looks at it, it looks like swimming is ~7% who get a scholarship, Lax is at about 13%, wrestling is at about 4.5%, VB is about 5.8%?, track is about 6+%, tennis is about 4%, golf is over 6%, XC is over 7% (and 8.5 if you are a female), field hockey is about 8.7%

again, i get your point but just keep in mind there are some pretty large variances here.

Quote

The other 98% spend an entire childhood focused on a sport that will cease to have any meaning for them when they graduate high school. 

disagree on this in general too, they may not play anymore but most still will keep in contact with people they played with, or keep following the sport leading to meeting more people, etc. especially if they played through high school.

1 hour ago, Samson's Wig said:

Spending millions of tax dollars for a football stadium that 60-80 kids utilize, or a basketball gym that maybe 100 kids utilize, is beyond fucking stupid.  

your overall point is fine, but your numbers are way off on this front.

most basketball gyms are utilized by significantly more sports than just basketball, at the very least almost everyone one is also set up for VB, which increases your count. this doesn't take into account facility usage for non high school sports - even just basketball - or events.

same for football, don't have exact counts obviously but most football fields are also used for soccer (junior high+high school teams) and band. and generally schools have more than 60-80 kids combined in their high school football programs. add in that most high school fields have tracks around their football stadiums and that at least adds 4 more teams (boys + girls, V+JV) who use the stadium. plus you have anyone in athletics teams or class in general using that track outside of games. plus graduations, other events, etc.

overall, the numbers aren't super important but if you are off by even "just" 5x that is significant.

-

to me, it is important to give your kid a wide variety of things they are interested in, to do, and friends. while being 100% focused on ONE sport year round is a problem, so is being 100% focused on your kid only being a doctor or academics. variety is the spice of life!

 

[Guest]

I knew I wasn't playing in college, but high school sports gave me something to believe in and belong to.

  I hated school.  Loved football.  I put up with a lot of shit because of the latter.

That being said,  neither of my boys played sports, but other ECs played prominently in their high school experience.  I was grateful they had those opportunities and the contributions those activities made towards their overall education.

As a taxpayer, yeah, I'll foot the bill willingly for those to be available, including sports.

Edited April 25, 2022 by slorch

[Thatguy 8886]

15 hours ago, slorch said:

public school?  Hard to believe.  Two sports or 2 ECs?  That's a huge difference. 

 

 

  If you choose to play sports you have to play two. That's not all that uncommon in middle school in our area. I know for a fact that we aren't the only school that requires that.

[Thatguy 8886]

nm

Edited April 26, 2022 by Thatguy

[Thatguy 8886]

11 hours ago, Samson's Wig said:

Lots of value in playing sports, of course. But the way we've turned it into religion in this country is fucking stupid, and it's not good for the kids.  That 2% or fewer who get college scholarships have been winnowed down almost entirely to the children of pro/collegiate athletes and/or kids with parents who ride their ass into the ground.   The other 98% spend an entire childhood focused on a sport that will cease to have any meaning for them when they graduate high school.  And then you're sending a kid with a very narrow band of experience out into the world.   Not good, Bob.  Unless your kid is truly in love with playing the game, club sports are throwing money down the toilet and creating an imbalance in your kids' life.  I've been around a ton of club sports kids through family and my kids' friends, and I've only met a couple who weren't just doing it because mom and dad wanted them to. Fake-rich suburbanites spending their retirement money on select/club sports may be the ultimate example of the stupid American stereotype, especially when these parents are often the same ones up at the school board meetings demanding books be banned.

As an aside, physical activity and competitive sports, at least in public schools, should be intramural and every student should be involved if physically capable.  Spending millions of tax dollars for a football stadium that 60-80 kids utilize, or a basketball gym that maybe 100 kids utilize, is beyond fucking stupid.  If parents want to waste their money on club leagues in some desperate hope that their kid will go pro or get a scholarship, more power to them.  The rest of us shouldn't be subsidizing these irrational fantasies in public schools, though.

  

  You sound very bitter about sports. Look, sports teach you a myriad of things that are tough lessons for adulthood. How to be part of a team and how solid teamwork is a winning recipe. How to handle success and failure. How to lead. How to handle adversity. To some of us those lessons are invaluable, especially in today's climate where kids are groomed to be pretty sensitive. They also keep kids out of trouble by keeping them focused and busy.

  We ARE club parents so I will address your insult toward us. My wife indeed did try to push our kid into a sport she wanted her in and that was track. That lasted one season and we saw that she wasn't into it, even though she has never lost a 400m race. However, she chose vball for herself. Now, you stated basically that kids are wasting their time in a sport they have no hope to succeed in. I will speak on vball since that is what we were talking about. There are 5,000 clubs across the US. With roughly 3 levels for each age group per club and 12 players per team that's approx 180,000 kids. We are a top 100 club in the US and our kid plays on the top team in said club. That puts her in the top 6% of those 180,000 kids. She is 5'9/10 at 13. Her club measures and she is currently touching 9'6 and hits a ball upwards of 50mph. The elite level of of leapers in vball are cresting the 10' mark. If you are touching that then you are pretty assured a D1 scholarship. So you see its actually pretty stupid of us NOT to allow her to play club vball because there is a good chance for her to get an offer if she continues on her current trajectory.

Edited April 26, 2022 by Thatguy

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

19 minutes ago, Thatguy said:

 

  If you choose to play sports you have to play two. That's not all that uncommon in middle school in our area. I know for a fact that we aren't the only school that requires that.

 

my local small town hs doesn't require two sports.

 

Anyway, my 11 year old, out of the blue a few months back, told us she wants to play softball. Local, crappy little small town league, no big deal. I believe the ages are something like 9-12. Big surprise, because she has never exhibited any interest in competitive sports, at all.

First game is tomorrow. They got her in right field, no surprise there.

I've been playing catch with her, and working on her hitting, and she hustles and really tries, but bless her heart, she's just not that athletic/coordinated. Watching her run is painful. All the other girls on her team have played at least one year already, so she's behind everybody else. I'm worried she's going to fuck up and get discouraged.

Oh well, I do enjoy throwing the softball in the back yard with her. I'll take it as long as I can get it.

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

16 hours ago, Thatguy said:

 

   This was the thought process we started on too. However, we live in a middle class to upper middle class area. Every single kid on the A and B team in 7th or 8th grade plays club volleyball. Every. Single. One. In fact, there are kids who play club volleyball who couldn't make the school team. A girl on her club team is top 10 in the country in softball and has to quit vball next year because it interferes with club softball. This isn't a parental choice, this is a not enough time choice. The girl is a ridiculously good vball player too, but if your kid is excelling at a sport they are going to have to make a choice just to remain competitive. Otherwise the sport itself is going to push them out. Parenting has nothing to do with it. In fact, our kid's middle school requires you to play two sports.

  In our day we got recruited out of our schools. Now these kids are being recruited from the clubs, and the schools are insignificant. The recruiters could care less to see them play against the one or two good players they face during their school season. How did you play vs the top level competition you saw playing club is what they wonder. You go to these tournaments and they are crawling with college coaches looking for the up and coming talent. In fact, Jerritt Elliott was walking around two tournaments ago. Sports like football are the last remaining holdovers. We are turning the corner to high school. If we could continue having her in two sports we would. School tryouts are Aug 1st and they play their first scrimmage 6 days later. That runs until Dec and then club takes over from there. Nationals straddles the last week in June/1st week of July. Club tryouts for the next year(yeah 6 months before the season) are typically between the 6th and 9th of July, right after you get back from Nationals. That gives you a couple days for family vacations and that's it.

  If your kid wants to continue sports past middle school and you live in an area where people are affluent enough to easily afford the club fees and personal training, this is what they will be staring at. Parents are just along for the ride.

 

jfc, that is some fucked up shit.

 

[Thatguy 8886]

2 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

my local small town hs doesn't require two sports.

 

Anyway, my 11 year old, out of the blue a few months back, told us she wants to play softball. Local, crappy little small town league, no big deal. I believe the ages are something like 9-12. Big surprise, because she has never exhibited any interest in competitive sports, at all.

First game is tomorrow. They got her in right field, no surprise there.

I've been playing catch with her, and working on her hitting, and she hustles and really tries, but bless her heart, she's just not that athletic/coordinated. Watching her run is painful. All the other girls on her team have played at least one year already, so she's behind everybody else. I'm worried she's going to fuck up and get discouraged.

Oh well, I do enjoy throwing the softball in the back yard with her. I'll take it as long as I can get it.

 https://blogs.usafootball.com/blog/6133/see-why-this-texas-school-district-requires-student-athletes-to-play-more-than-one-sport

Quote

While overseeing athletes in his district – beginning in middle school – Ringo has overseen a policy that requires student-athletes from seventh grade through their sophomore year to participate in at least two sports.

 

  As I stated before. We are not the only district that requires this. Ours is only in middle school, but some districts like this one require it a bit longer. You guys need to do some research so you know what you are getting yourselves into.

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

 

In my small, rural town, we have nothing like all that club stuff you just described. If we do, its way under my radar, and I can't imagine my daughter ever being that competitive.  I also can't imagine a teens life being that focused on one single thing, sport or whatever. It just seems crazy to me.

The only reason we even have the crappy little 12(?) and under softball league (which has only four teams, btw, lol) is because they don't have softball in our middle school.

 

 

 

[Thatguy 8886]

14 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

jfc, that is some fucked up shit.

 

Well there are two choices if you live anywhere near a major city. Start playing some type of club sport or watch your kid get passed up by all the kids who do. Its not the same as it was when we played. These kids are all specialized now and way advanced at an early age. When our middle school played vball vs a small town type school our first person serving would serve like 10-15 serves in a row while the other team just stood around confused at how to return a high mph floater. Eventually we would hit one out of bounds. The opposing team would come in and underhand serve one over, which we would pass perfectly, set, and then some girl would crush a spike on their side. Then the next girl would come in and serve the rest of the game out. We had to play two sep teams just to get them on the court or they would never play due to how quickly the games were over. In volleyball the club girls are head and shoulders above the non club girls. Welcome to 2022.

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

 

You are correct, not at all like when we were in school. Welcome to 2022 indeed.

 

[Thatguy 8886]

5 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

In my small, rural town, we have nothing like all that club stuff you just described. If we do, its way under my radar, and I can't imagine my daughter ever being that competitive.  I also can't imagine a teens life being that focused on one single thing, sport or whatever. It just seems crazy to me.

The only reason we even have the crappy little 12(?) and under softball league (which has only four teams, btw, lol) is because they don't have softball in our middle school.

 

 

 

  This year on our middle school team 6 of the 12 girls played on top teams at their perspective clubs. The other 6 were on the second teams, or a lower level clubs first team. My daughter at 5'9/10 was the 4th tallest girl on her middle school team. My daughter touches 9'6, which is really athletic for her age, and higher than I could jump at that age though I eventually had a 39in vert. However, there is another girl at her middle school who is touching 10'4 in 8th grade. There are guys on the Surl who can validate everything I am telling you. There is absolutely no way she could play at her middle school if she didn't play club. Hell, we missed all of 6th grade club season and barely made the B-team last year and you are talking about a girl who currently starts on a team that just got a bid to Nationals.

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

1 minute ago, Thatguy said:

  This year on our middle school team 6 of the 12 girls played on top teams at their perspective clubs. The other 6 were on the second teams, or a lower level clubs first team. My daughter at 5'9/10 was the 4th tallest girl on her middle school team. My daughter touches 9'6, which is really athletic for her age, and higher than I could jump at that age though I eventually had a 39in vert. However, there is another girl at her middle school who is touching 10'4 in 8th grade. There are guys on the Surl who can validate everything I am telling you. There is absolutely no way she could play at her middle school if she didn't play club. Hell, we missed all of 6th grade club season and barely made the B-team last year and you are talking about a girl who currently starts on a team that just got a bid to Nationals.

 

Total opposite out here in the sticks. 7 and 8 grade volley ball are lucky to even have enough girls to fill two teams each.

[956 Worldwide 34794]

The club sports (especially volleyball) thing is batty to me. Understand, this isn’t a criticism of surly dads doing what’s needed to support their girls’ ambitions, more of a “what would the aliens think” type of thing.

I can’t make the numbers make sense, it seems the goal is a college scholarship, as the numbers I hear are such that you’d be better off just investing (even if already maxxing a 529).  As far as I know, pro volleyball doesn’t exist in the US for all purposes. 
 

And there’s the fact that tons of athletes from families that can’t engage basically are shut out of these sports. I’ve wondered how much club/travel baseball has contributed to the decline of Black baseball players, for instance. 
 

Again, not a knock on those doing it. Just a head scratcher at the system we’ve built up. 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Thatguy said:

 https://blogs.usafootball.com/blog/6133/see-why-this-texas-school-district-requires-student-athletes-to-play-more-than-one-sport

 

  As I stated before. We are not the only district that requires this. Ours is only in middle school, but some districts like this one require it a bit longer. You guys need to do some research so you know what you are getting yourselves into.

I’ve attended or my kids attended a pretty broad variety of big/ small, rural/ suburban schools and never have encountered this.  Now, did coaches act like it was mandatory to run track if you wanted to play football?  Virtually all of them did.   It wasn’t.   If you wanted to play football, you were going to play, regardless of a 2nd activity.  Same went for other sports.

Are you in Texas and  is it a public school district?

[Thatguy 8886]

1 hour ago, slorch said:

I’ve attended or my kids attended a pretty broad variety of big/ small, rural/ suburban schools and never have encountered this.  Now, did coaches act like it was mandatory to run track if you wanted to play football?  Virtually all of them did.   It wasn’t.   If you wanted to play football, you were going to play, regardless of a 2nd activity.  Same went for other sports.

Are you in Texas and  is it a public school district?

  I am in Texas and this is a public school district. There are two other girls on my daughter's vball team that are from 2 different districts that have the same thing. Not making it up. The district in the article is Highland Park in Dallas where Kershaw and Stafford went. Maybe it wasn't a thing when your kids were in school but it sure as shit is a thing now. My daughter wanted no parts of a second sport and pouted her way to track.

[Thatguy 8886]

7 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Total opposite out here in the sticks. 7 and 8 grade volley ball are lucky to even have enough girls to fill two teams each.

  I know. We play those teams on our schedule and its two games something like 25-0 each game. Our parents sit in the stands hanging our heads in shame because it shouldn't be like that.

[Thatguy 8886]

5 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

The club sports (especially volleyball) thing is batty to me. Understand, this isn’t a criticism of surly dads doing what’s needed to support their girls’ ambitions, more of a “what would the aliens think” type of thing.

I can’t make the numbers make sense, it seems the goal is a college scholarship, as the numbers I hear are such that you’d be better off just investing (even if already maxxing a 529).  As far as I know, pro volleyball doesn’t exist in the US for all purposes. 
 

And there’s the fact that tons of athletes from families that can’t engage basically are shut out of these sports. I’ve wondered how much club/travel baseball has contributed to the decline of Black baseball players, for instance. 
 

Again, not a knock on those doing it. Just a head scratcher at the system we’ve built up. 

  I sure as shit don't wanna be forking out 20k for vball annually but damn if it isn't the system in place. Here is the crazy part. If you look at the best clubs in the US the Texas and Cali teams dominate not only the rankings but the tournaments. Its so bad that Texas teams looking to get bids for nationals have to leave the state to have a chance at winning because the top teams here win everything. A club in Dallas area, Mad Frogs, won all 3 national qualifiers they played in for our age group. Luckily bids trickle down to other spots after you've won one. My daughter's team won a qualifier too so we are headed to nationals.

  Let me tell you something though. When these upper echelon clubs come across an athletic 6'2 inner city black girl she plays for free. But yes, for the large part the inner city kids are shut out these sports. Club dues are roughly $6k. When we went to Dallas a couple weeks ago the club had us staying at the Omni downtown at $800. You add in travel costs and food and that tourney cost us $1400, and that's the close one. The week before that we were in Orlando. Now you are talking like almost $3k. We have 12 tournaments this year with 6 away. It's brutal.

  The numbers def don't make sense. However, if your kid wants to play sports what do you do? It's a shit system for sure.

[Nivek 16992]

On 4/21/2022 at 8:08 AM, Celery Man said:

I was trying to figure this out with my wife over Easter - she was talking about Easter presents, and I have no recollection of any such thing. There was candy, but it was like... 10-15 plastic balls filled with little M&Ms, robins eggs, melted fun size snickers, etc. That definitely did not outbalance the other part of Easter which was getting dressed up in some little pastel or seersucker outfit and wearing church shoes all day because afterwards we were at the Smiths. Maybe some years there was a stuffed animal or something (maybe) , and I remember one year where some drunk dad was loading the Easter eggs with $10s and $20s, which was a fun year. Wife thinks I'm crazy and grew up getting gifts on Easter.

 

Daughter is about to turn 1. What a fun age - she's a handful and can be super moody, but she's started walking, she's started hugging, she's getting into all sorts of stuff. Man I left her alone in her nursery for 30 seconds last night to switch over some laundry and...

 

 

 

 

Cute kid.  I miss those days, and I miss when that was considered a mess.

Edited April 26, 2022 by Nivek

[Snake Diggity 4627]

I’m very conflicted with how to handle sports for my girls who are just reaching school age.  Neither I nor my wife are good athletes; we are both small, slow, weak, and uncoordinated.  I played sports growing up and surely got a lot of good things out of it, but have always had a nagging feeling all that time would have been better spent on something else (arts or academics).  But I was able to play all sports thru junior high and basketball thru high school because I lived in a small town and times were different.  My wife never played sports.  So my kids’ low athletic ceiling combined with the cost, time commitment, early over-competitiveness, and the fact that my girls haven’t shown much interest in it has me just kind of punting on it. We signed my first one up for soccer at 5 and it was pretty much a disaster.  Most of the other kids had obviously been playing MUCH more than mine, and my kid did not react well at all to the idea of competing against other kids.  I don’t think she enjoyed it.  I really want my girls to be active and to learn the life skills that sports teach: teamwork, competition, etc.  But knowing there’s almost zero chance they’ll have the skills/drive to play past the very very early ages/levels and really having to push them to even participate makes it hard for us to justify the sacrifice.

Edited April 26, 2022 by Snake Diggity

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

 

I coached swimming in college for a summer league team, pretty low key (Rolling Wood Waves, RAH RAH RAH) for a number of years. There were a lot of kids who were forced to swim by their parents, despite obviously not wanting to (obvious to me, the coach, anyway). I really felt bad for those kids because they were not having fun, and would have negative associations with sports in general and certainly swimming in particular as they grew up. 

I would say, encourage and support, but don't push or force. My daughter completely surprised me when out of the blue she decided she wanted to play ball.

I'm glad she made that decision for purely selfish reasons because I like just playing catch in the back yard, and didn't pick soccer, because, well soccer. BUT if she had chosen soccer, that would have been fine also, as far as she knew.

If at some point she decides it isn't for her, no big deal, other than the sunk cost of all the crap you have to buy. If she sticks with it, I'm just glad we don't have to deal with club teams like discussed above. At the high school level, she'll be "on the team" no matter how bad she is, even if its just riding the bench on JV because small town. No tryouts or cuts.

If your daughter decides sports isn't for her, no biggie, whatever she enjoys imo. Its about the kid, not about the parents.

 

 

[Nivek 16992]

5 hours ago, Snake Diggity said:

I’m very conflicted with how to handle sports for my girls who are just reaching school age.  Neither I nor my wife are good athletes; we are both small, slow, weak, and uncoordinated.  I played sports growing up and surely got a lot of good things out of it, but have always had a nagging feeling all that time would have been better spent on something else (arts or academics).  But I was able to play all sports thru junior high and basketball thru high school because I lived in a small town and times were different.  My wife never played sports.  So my kids’ low athletic ceiling combined with the cost, time commitment, early over-competitiveness, and the fact that my girls haven’t shown much interest in it has me just kind of punting on it. We signed my first one up for soccer at 5 and it was pretty much a disaster.  Most of the other kids had obviously been playing MUCH more than mine, and my kid did not react well at all to the idea of competing against other kids.  I don’t think she enjoyed it.  I really want my girls to be active and to learn the life skills that sports teach: teamwork, competition, etc.  But knowing there’s almost zero chance they’ll have the skills/drive to play past the very very early ages/levels and really having to push them to even participate makes it hard for us to justify the sacrifice.

My boy plays baseball I think mostly for the activity to do something with me and to play with other kids.   We play in a little neighborhood club that has some competitiveness but it isn't over the top and there is no travel.   He isn't going to become a star athlete and he has no interest in putting in that kind of work to become one.  But rather,  I want him to be able to be competent enough athletically to play any sport socially and to gain more social experiences with other kids and be able to meet and socialize with kids of different backgrounds/motivations.

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

 

So my daughter had her first softball game last night.

They have a large team and everybody plays, which means they sub out a few times during the game, which due to time considerations only lasted 3 innings. Her only at bat (due to being subbed out), she got on base by getting hit with a pitch that was basically a grounder to the foot. To her credit, she didn't instinctively move her foot, and took it like a boss. Bases loaded, she's on first. Next at bat, wild pitch so everybody advances one base, runner on third scores. Next pitch, another wild one, third base coach screams "go go go" so she starts running for third, but the runner on third didn't move so they end up with two runners on third, so she's called out. lulz.

She was in right field for two of the three innings, only one hit ball came her way which the first basegirl totally wiffed on. She picked it up and threw to second, since the batter had already made it to first and was acting she wanted to try for second.  Daughter probably should have held onto the ball and walked the runner back to first, but whatever, it was a good field and a good throw to second.

Her team ended up winning something like 20 to 17 (in only three innings played lol, I THINK they end the inning after 7 runs or something), so she was pretty stoked.

All in all, a good first game for her.

 

Final comment: parents in the stands are a fucking beating. Yelling shit at their kid when they drop a fly ball. Every parent sits in the stands closest to their kid's dugout and tries to coach their kid from the stands when they are in the dugout or in the on deck circle. A daughter of a friend on the other team made a good play, and I clapped and yelled something like "good play Lauren," and everybody around me gave me a fuck you look. The president of the league gave a little speech to the crowd before hand about good sportsmanship and not yelling obscenities at the umps, or booing, or anything like that. The fact that a speech like that was necessary, for that crappy little small town league, makes me worry about society.

 

[Jkwellborn 6749]

I hate sports parents. Too many of them act like their kids tball games makes a fuck.

[UT_OB1 2225]

10 yr old passed out fliers and put up a couple of signs for driveway pressure washing. She wants to buy a big fish tank and a beta fish and some other bullshit I’m not very interested in having in my house. Told her she could get it if she earns the money for it. 
 

Found her first customer and almost finished with the driveway. Pretty proud of her even if I already hate the fish tank that hasn’t been purchased yet 

 

 

[Nivek 16992]

20 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

So my daughter had her first softball game last night.

They have a large team and everybody plays, which means they sub out a few times during the game, which due to time considerations only lasted 3 innings. Her only at bat (due to being subbed out), she got on base by getting hit with a pitch that was basically a grounder to the foot. To her credit, she didn't instinctively move her foot, and took it like a boss. Bases loaded, she's on first. Next at bat, wild pitch so everybody advances one base, runner on third scores. Next pitch, another wild one, third base coach screams "go go go" so she starts running for third, but the runner on third didn't move so they end up with two runners on third, so she's called out. lulz.

She was in right field for two of the three innings, only one hit ball came her way which the first basegirl totally wiffed on. She picked it up and threw to second, since the batter had already made it to first and was acting she wanted to try for second.  Daughter probably should have held onto the ball and walked the runner back to first, but whatever, it was a good field and a good throw to second.

Her team ended up winning something like 20 to 17 (in only three innings played lol, I THINK they end the inning after 7 runs or something), so she was pretty stoked.

All in all, a good first game for her.

 

Final comment: parents in the stands are a fucking beating. Yelling shit at their kid when they drop a fly ball. Every parent sits in the stands closest to their kid's dugout and tries to coach their kid from the stands when they are in the dugout or in the on deck circle. A daughter of a friend on the other team made a good play, and I clapped and yelled something like "good play Lauren," and everybody around me gave me a fuck you look. The president of the league gave a little speech to the crowd before hand about good sportsmanship and not yelling obscenities at the umps, or booing, or anything like that. The fact that a speech like that was necessary, for that crappy little small town league, makes me worry about society.

 

It depends on the place and the people/rules.   I saw some shit behavior by adults for T-ball at one spot where they rigged the game against coaches and their players.   It was stunning to me how people could do that so that one team is loaded with 4 yr olds and a new coach and another is stacked with 6 yr olds.   I also found myself getting sucked into some of the overly invested parent behavior as well.   The place was also used by adults so there would be beer cans and boxes of beer trash around under the stands.  And yet, they had parents keep the place clean with volunteer work.     We switched to a different location, similar price, much smaller but nicer (cleaner) spot.   Parents cheer for players on different teams.  They cheer for the kids who are subpar when they make what should be a routine play.     Overall, it is a more mellow place that actually seems to embrace the idea of sportsmanship and that this is for them to learn.  

Edited April 28, 2022 by Nivek