Surly Dad Thread

[mdmost 43011]

Yes, very similar. We were always amazed that there was never any lashing out or emotional meltdowns at school. There were signs of ADHD and so we chalked a lot of it up to that, which was definitely incorrect. It's an adjacent issue. We also erred in having a pediatrician who was of the "they'll grow out ot if" school of medicine. Yeah, she never did. It's interesting because we've had her tested for autism as so much of it reads like autism. Yet professionals said it wasn't that. There's no real test for sensory issues so the best you can do is take her to an occupational therapist which we did earlier this year. Here she's 14 going on 15 surrounded by toddlers and much younger kids and I'm thinking why the f didn't we do this sooner? But we just were never directed to something like this along the way because she was so high functioning in school. 

Now, a lot of that changed around two big life events: Covid lockdown and puberty. The meltdowns started occurring in 7th grade after in-person school returned combined with behaviors and compulsions we started getting her help with. Puberty made it worse because then all these changes were happening that made her even more dysregulated like the monthly visitor that is very painful and this horrible intruder that she did not want in her life. A lot of that inward rage became outward rage and she coped by doing very bad things. But regardless of therapies tried, nothing really ever clicked. She was never really open to it. She was white knuckling her treatment or penalty killing through therapy. Throughout it all, she did really well in school and we were able to nurse her out of junior high, which was its own battle as that is an utter hellhole for females.

We had to pull the trigger on something early in this school year (her freshman year) to get her reset in a massive way and we're very thankful we did that. Now, she's able to deal with things better. She starting to access that higher level functioning. We're not seeing the meltdowns. Her compulsions for things like always needing a phone have diminished greatly. She responds to redirection and limits we're setting. Now, we're to a point where we can manage her anxiety and help her get through it. Now, we'll see if therapy can help her even more. 

I say all that as a cautionary tale. The one thing we've seen throughout this whole process is our child is not that unique in what's going on. There are a lot of kids out there just like her. The therapists even refer to them as "superfeelers". Kids who have severe sensitivity to the outside world and just don't have access to the higher level of brain functioning that their peers might. So when a normal kid has the ability to take a bad grade or a fight with a friend or a breakup in a more reasoned and rational way, the superfeeler can't and gravitates to terrible coping methods like restricting food intake, self-harm, suicidal ideations, sex, drugs, isolation, etc. We also learned to change our parenting styles as I am a fixer. That works on a little kid, not as well on a teen. So I've tried to change how I take in things and how I react. And not reacting is the hardest part. 

[YGIFS 19452]

Man, I don't know shit about fuck.  But so much of what you wrote is already kinda percolating with our oldest.  I gotta do some more reading, but interwebs bullshit aside---thank you for sharing all that.  The fact my not even 8yo verbally expresses harmful ideas about her sister and herself breaks my heart.  She kinda got wound-up during 2021 in peak Covid.  She started out handling it all, and her little sister well.  Then little sister gets big enough to mess with, plus mom and dad home all day just micro-managing her, and she's doing remote learning.  She got in an awful place and I sure as shit wasn't helping.  But then things open up, and she's doing sports and dance and friends and shit and things were okay again.  But the last couple months, little sister is getting saltier, and mom and dad are trying a more hands off approach.  But as you say, "superfeeler" mode kicked on again and fucking hard.  At school, it's all good to an almost disturbing level.  But at home, any setback is met with just yelling and rage and even violence.  

One good thing is we're doing better on managing anxiety/expectations before things happen.  Like we do a little pep talk before we go to an event or birthday or luncheon or see dogs or grandparents.  And that kinda calms her down and she kinda talks herself through dialogue with us, into what the hours will unfold like.  But it's that trigger moment that just sets her off which we can usually handle for 5 minutes then it sets us off and then the cycle really kicks into high gear.  FUCK!  I can be the dad getting yelled at and emasculated in public, I don't give a shit-my girls are awesome.  But when we're in public and she's just tossing her sister out of her seat at the restaurant, there's real life ramifications to that.  I finally had to tell my wife, who just didn't want to acknowledge, "Do you not notice that outside of school, the only people she wants to play with on our street are 4-year olds?"  that's not normal.  She does it because she literally and figuratively push them around.  She commandeers them and when they don't obey, she gets her superfeeler rage shit going and starts pushing kids off swings 'n shit.    

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant everybody.  Mdmost---our girls are obviously different ages but thanks for helping me connect the dots.  The world is way too hard for smart women anyway.  But it is especially cruel to females with behavioral/coping issues.  It's not fair, but that's the way it is.  Her mom was raised in a household of 5 women where they all just figured it out the old-school way.  My job as her father is to give her the coping mechanisms to navigate the world.  And I'm failing.  She's all-around awesome, if I can get her to self-soothe and not lash out at other people...I can die happy.  /rant  thanks man.

[Modessit 5603]

That’s how it is with a lot of people including my wife and I.  Banged away for 2 years trying for #1, ended up having to do Clomid/IUI.  Decided we were ready for #2, one squirt and done.  Damn the luck.

Same, except 3 years trying including 8 IUI attempts and two pregnancies that didn't get past 4 weeks before one finally stuck and we got the boy (who just turned 9 last week).

Spent over $5k on treatments for that kid. Had some ovulation test strips left over and decided to try the "free" method again when he was 18 months. Got pregnant on the first try and daughter will turn 7 in Feb.

2 years 3 month separation which is about perfect, I think. 2 grades apart in school, and they play and fight together often.

[NoName 16364]

what a fun last few days lol

• We get exposed to COVID at wife's family thanksgiving.
• wife tests positive on Thur AM, so we can't do my family thanksgiving. she has a fairly serious case. i have been lucky and not tested positive yet.
• one man band-ing it with the baby since Thursday AM, which makes for a fun, but long weekend
• back to work today, WFH until Wed based on COVID protocol at work. not taking baby to childcare until Wed at the earliest
• baby decided this AM is the time to start teething, going from about a 2 to about an 8 since yesterday
• baby yells so loudly this AM wakes wife up from halfway across the house, she freaks out and comes to living room because she is worried something happened

Me:

[South Austin 52523]

I love watching my daughter play basketball.

[Thatguy 8761]

5 minutes ago, South Austin said:

I love watching my daughter play basketball.

That's pretty good form!!

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

Taking turns playing on my grandad's old tractor.

Edited December 4, 2022 by NotActuallyALonghorn

[Modessit 5603]

I love watching my daughter play basketball.

Breaking the quadruple-team! 1 vs 4 doesn't seem fair. They should get more people on the other team.

BTW - she doesn't like Taylor Swift by chance?

[Etexhorn13 3052]

As funny as a crying picture would’ve been, I’m so proud of my dude for being such a happy little guy all the time. No coal in his stocking this year!

[South Austin 52523]

1 hour ago, Modessit said:

BTW - she doesn't like Taylor Swift by chance?

Score.

[Guest]

I am the Grandad, but y'all talk baby stuff on here, so:

Grandson's 4month check up

weight 20lbs8oz( 99th percentile)

height 27 inches( 97th Percentile)

 

Please have quick feet and keep your hands in...

[Etexhorn13 3052]

2 hours ago, slorch said:

I am the Grandad, but y'all talk baby stuff on here, so:

Grandson's 4month check up

weight 20lbs8oz( 99th percentile)

height 27 inches( 97th Percentile)

 

Please have quick feet and keep your hands in...

My son (14 months) has been rocking 99th percentile height and 92nd percentile weight and brother I am singing the same tune.

[JesusSweatDuck 17784]

I've shared some of this previously but yesterday was a great day. It really feels like I have my daughter back.

She's a freshman and the pandemic started at the end of 6th. My wife and I failed in letting her have access to any and all social media wanting her to not feel so isolated.  That was a huge mistake in hindsight. She also fell into a bad crowd in 7th and 8th grade.  We found a suicide note last year and probably over reacted but didn't know what else to do. We took her to a behavioral hospital to be evaluated and got the whole no shoelaces/etc treatment. We landed in once a week therapy for the better part of 1.5 years. No social media immediately improved her happiness. We told her to blame us when friends questioned it.

 

Fast forward to freshman year and we were really concerned about her falling in with that same crowd.  Instead she's found great friends in volleyball which have quickly become best friends and an amazing support system for her.  She initially struggled a little with demands of highschool (omg she got a couple Bs) but has figured out what her teachers want.  She's lined up to run varsity track as a freshman and I'm so proud at how hard she works.

 

This weekend she won her sand tournament with a girl she's never partnered with and it was all smiles.  Last night was the first time in ages that we rough housed like we used to do when she was younger. It really is the simple things sometimes.  Fight for your kids, be their advocate. It's a messed up world and they need everything you can give them 

 

[YGIFS 19452]

Thanks for sharing that man.  My oldest (almost eight) worries me a lot on that front many times.  I don't know how to deal with her sometimes, many times.  But to your point(s)...I've said to her that she can take out whatever she wants on me, blame me, hit me, yell at me, etc.  I know it's not the healthiest relationship but she has some shit percolating already in her young age.  And I don't give fuck one about "your kid needs more discipline dude!"  She's an angel at school and with strangers.  But she's got an ugly streak with family.  And if she needs to vent, I don't care...I can always absorb it and hug her because the world will not only not hug her back...it'll cheer for her demise.  

Your last paragraph makes me choke up.  Thanks again for giving me a pep in my step tonight with the kids.  

[JesusSweatDuck 17784]

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

Thanks for sharing that man.  My oldest (almost eight) worries me a lot on that front many times.  I don't know how to deal with her sometimes, many times.  But to your point(s)...I've said to her that she can take out whatever she wants on me, blame me, hit me, yell at me, etc.  I know it's not the healthiest relationship but she has some shit percolating already in her young age.  And I don't give fuck one about "your kid needs more discipline dude!"  She's an angel at school and with strangers.  But she's got an ugly streak with family.  And if she needs to vent, I don't care...I can always absorb it and hug her because the world will not only not hug her back...it'll cheer for her demise.  

Your last paragraph makes me choke up.  Thanks again for giving me a pep in my step tonight with the kids.  

There's no right answer but perhaps I can offer some advice through my experience. My son was actually the one that would yell and scream but you always knew how he felt and frankly that was easier for me to deal with.  My daughter was good at hiding it but my wife and I knew something was up and I regret not acting on that instinct earlier.  Instead we thought it was just "teenage" stuff.  If you have doubts go talk to someone, start with you and your spouse then bring your kiddo in.

 

My wife and daughter have communication issues and one of the huge things that came out of all of it was those two learning how to communicate with each other.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

I've shared some of this previously but yesterday was a great day. It really feels like I have my daughter back.

She's a freshman and the pandemic started at the end of 6th. My wife and I failed in letting her have access to any and all social media wanting her to not feel so isolated.  That was a huge mistake in hindsight. She also fell into a bad crowd in 7th and 8th grade.  We found a suicide note last year and probably over reacted but didn't know what else to do. We took her to a behavioral hospital to be evaluated and got the whole no shoelaces/etc treatment. We landed in once a week therapy for the better part of 1.5 years. No social media immediately improved her happiness. We told her to blame us when friends questioned it.

 

Fast forward to freshman year and we were really concerned about her falling in with that same crowd.  Instead she's found great friends in volleyball which have quickly become best friends and an amazing support system for her.  She initially struggled a little with demands of highschool (omg she got a couple Bs) but has figured out what her teachers want.  She's lined up to run varsity track as a freshman and I'm so proud at how hard she works.

 

This weekend she won her sand tournament with a girl she's never partnered with and it was all smiles.  Last night was the first time in ages that we rough housed like we used to do when she was younger. It really is the simple things sometimes.  Fight for your kids, be their advocate. It's a messed up world and they need everything you can give them 

 

Just keep her away from volleyball parents…

( thank you for being vulnerable and sharing like that.  Good stuff!

[SurlyGator 867]

2 minutes ago, slorch said:

Just keep her away from volleyball parents…

( thank you for being vulnerable and sharing like that.  Good stuff!

As a VB parent, I personally am offended by that comment.  But in general, pretty good advice...

[JesusSweatDuck 17784]

1 minute ago, SurlyGator said:

As a VB parent, I personally am offended by that comment.  But in general, pretty good advice...

Same.  Volleyball parents just like any sports parents tend to be on the edges.  There are some really good people and some really toxic people. Not much in between 

[Fudbelty 2788]

I’m starting to think there’s way more shitty parents/family members out there watching their prince/princess play. It amazes me the shit some of these people say or how they act. This is our first year dealing with club vball parents and I’m pretty sure they’re worse than soccer. Maybe because we’re closer together I notice more.

If you dads with younger kids take something from this thread let it be “don’t be assholes at kids sporting events”.

[Thatguy 8761]

3 hours ago, slorch said:

Just keep her away from volleyball parents…

( thank you for being vulnerable and sharing like that.  Good stuff!

 

3 hours ago, SurlyGator said:

As a VB parent, I personally am offended by that comment.  But in general, pretty good advice...

 

3 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Same.  Volleyball parents just like any sports parents tend to be on the edges.  There are some really good people and some really toxic people. Not much in between 

 

1 hour ago, Fudbelty said:

I’m starting to think there’s way more shitty parents/family members out there watching their prince/princess play. It amazes me the shit some of these people say or how they act. This is our first year dealing with club vball parents and I’m pretty sure they’re worse than soccer. Maybe because we’re closer together I notice more.

If you dads with younger kids take something from this thread let it be “don’t be assholes at kids sporting events”.

  Vball is pretty crazy. I get why parents are like that though. For example, my daughter's team has 12 players. She is on a top club team so we travel nationally. Parents are told that they are paying for the training and not playing time, but as soon as their kid isn't seeing any PT they lose it. They spent thousands to travel all the way across the country to sit and watch their kid stand on the sideline for 2 or 3 days, plus the 5k or better for club fees. So they are mad and unhappy. Kids learn better by playing, so parents are desperate to get them some time. Clubs do not care about the development of your kid, they only care about what your kid can do for them to get their accolades, or that check every month. So that means if you are an undersized player, they will gladly keep you there to win now rather than move you to a position where you would have long term success. Then when you get into high school you get pushed out of the sport. So its really not the parents fault, it's really just the current climate of vball in this country as it pertains to the money grab that is club vball. These clubs could run with less girls per team so everyone is happy but instead they  go with 12 for that extra money. 

   @Steven Avery and I stand at the back of the court and quietly work the camera where it is safe. 

[Guest]

I was mainly just giving JesusSweatDuck some playful parenting shit.  The behavior by some is hardly volleyball specific, and I did truly appreciate the way he opened up about his own experience.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

  Vball is pretty crazy. I get why parents are like that though. For example, my daughter's team has 12 players. She is on a top club team so we travel nationally. Parents are told that they are paying for the training and not playing time, but as soon as their kid isn't seeing any PT they lose it. They spent thousands to travel all the way across the country to sit and watch their kid stand on the sideline for 2 or 3 days, plus the 5k or better for club fees. So they are mad and unhappy. Kids learn better by playing, so parents are desperate to get them some time. Clubs do not care about the development of your kid, they only care about what your kid can do for them to get their accolades, or that check every month. So that means if you are an undersized player, they will gladly keep you there to win now rather than move you to a position where you would have long term success. Then when you get into high school you get pushed out of the sport. So its really not the parents fault, it's really just the current climate of vball in this country as it pertains to the money grab that is club vball. These clubs could run with less girls per team so everyone is happy but instead they  go with 12 for that extra money. 
   [mention=905]Steven Avery[/mention] and I stand at the back of the court and quietly work the camera where it is safe. 

I can see that. But that’s definitely more of an anomaly being on a national traveling volleyball team than say playing a cross town middle school team where you travel 15 min to the other schools gym and acting like an entitled asshole

[Thatguy 8761]

8 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I can see that. But that’s definitely more of an anomaly being on a national traveling volleyball team than say playing a cross town middle school team where you travel 15 min to the other schools gym and acting like an entitled asshole

Lol. Never seen that in middle school ball. It's club that seems to get crazy. There are some asshole parents in club for sure, but its the arrogant parents that make me laugh. Last year we played HJV, which is the 1st or 2nd best club in Houston depending on who you ask. One of the dads is chatting us up before the game, but he has this sense of arrogance(hello you poor guys on this lesser team) that the parents of kids that play on the top team of clubs like that seem to consistently have. Well, we wore their asses out, and wouldn't you know it, ole buddy doesn't wanna speak after the game. In fact, we played them quite a bit and he didn't speak again until THEY beat us. 

[Modessit 5603]

. Well, we wore their asses out, and wouldn't you know it, ole buddy doesn't wanna speak after the game. In fact, we played them quite a bit and he didn't speak again until THEY beat us. 

Would've been faster to just type "aggy".

[Thatguy 8761]

On 12/6/2022 at 2:52 PM, JesusSweatDuck said:

I've shared some of this previously but yesterday was a great day. It really feels like I have my daughter back.

She's a freshman and the pandemic started at the end of 6th. My wife and I failed in letting her have access to any and all social media wanting her to not feel so isolated.  That was a huge mistake in hindsight. She also fell into a bad crowd in 7th and 8th grade.  We found a suicide note last year and probably over reacted but didn't know what else to do. We took her to a behavioral hospital to be evaluated and got the whole no shoelaces/etc treatment. We landed in once a week therapy for the better part of 1.5 years. No social media immediately improved her happiness. We told her to blame us when friends questioned it.

 

Fast forward to freshman year and we were really concerned about her falling in with that same crowd.  Instead she's found great friends in volleyball which have quickly become best friends and an amazing support system for her.  She initially struggled a little with demands of highschool (omg she got a couple Bs) but has figured out what her teachers want.  She's lined up to run varsity track as a freshman and I'm so proud at how hard she works.

 

This weekend she won her sand tournament with a girl she's never partnered with and it was all smiles.  Last night was the first time in ages that we rough housed like we used to do when she was younger. It really is the simple things sometimes.  Fight for your kids, be their advocate. It's a messed up world and they need everything you can give them 

 

  Man, sand is so much more relaxed than indoor. I am glad she is having a good time and the life in her eyes is starting to return. I am pretty sure our girls played against each other, and you guys seemed to be a pretty chill group. 

  My daughter was the same. Beginning of 6th grade came down with Type 1. In the hospital for a couple weeks. When she got healthy the pandemic started. After that it was depression, withdrawal, and every other scary thing that comes with that. Getting her into vball was the saving grace. Slowly but surely she is working her way back to being a confident, happy kid. She was so excited that club season was starting up. So know you are not alone in this my friend. 

[Message Board User 12395]

There's a non-zero chance that my kids would be in the ER and I would be in handcuffs if they ever acted like this.  

 

[Fudbelty 2788]

Volleyball talk not going away. We had our first club vball experience for both our girls. Damn sure enough me and the youngest both got the flu. I imagine from that packed ass gym.

[atomheartbevo 89757]

I had all presents for the kids, both from us and from Santa, delivered and mostly wrapped by yesterday morning and am not sweating any delivery times or dreading visiting any stores.

[Jkwellborn 6713]

I’m starting to think there’s way more shitty parents/family members out there watching their prince/princess play. It amazes me the shit some of these people say or how they act. This is our first year dealing with club vball parents and I’m pretty sure they’re worse than soccer. Maybe because we’re closer together I notice more.

If you dads with younger kids take something from this thread let it be “don’t be assholes at kids sporting events”.

I have never cared if my kids wanted to play sports, but I’ve been lucky that they haven’t in the respect that I can’t stand the asshole parents.

[JesusSweatDuck 17784]

10 hours ago, Fudbelty said:

Volleyball talk not going away. We had our first club vball experience for both our girls. Damn sure enough me and the youngest both got the flu. I imagine from that packed ass gym.

That's how we got COVID the first 2 times

[Thatguy 8761]

19 hours ago, Fudbelty said:

Volleyball talk not going away. We had our first club vball experience for both our girls. Damn sure enough me and the youngest both got the flu. I imagine from that packed ass gym.

 

15 hours ago, Jkwellborn said:

I have never cared if my kids wanted to play sports, but I’ve been lucky that they haven’t in the respect that I can’t stand the asshole parents.

  I used to be like that but now I get why they get like that in SOME instances. For example, my daughter got a scholarship to play for the club we are at. They have a top level setter and my kid as an outside hitter. They have 4 middles. A second setter/right side. Two girls who are pins/utility players. Three defensive specialists/liberos. Two of the middles were promised they could transition to outside. Neither one of them has much experience playing out there. Only one kid wants to play RS, and that kid, the backup setter, is a little too small to put over there. It is an easier transition to go from middle to RS, plus it gives you a bigger block, but none of the girls wanna do it. So when the time comes to pick someone to play over there parents are going to lose it. The same will happen when we start playing high level competition and half the players don't play. Imagine flying to 8 different cities to watch your kid sit on the bench. Ideally, you would run with 9/10 players, but the clubs wanna max out their participants so they can make a ton of money as well as offset their scholarship players. 

[Celery Man 20981]

On 12/20/2022 at 6:07 PM, Message Board User said:

There's a non-zero chance that my kids would be in the ER and I would be in handcuffs if they ever acted like this.  

 

one time I said something something “get it through your thick skull” to my mom and I immediately knew I had made an error

we didn’t get spanked a whole bunch or anything but I have to imagine that’s how that story ended. Definitely was a “alright wait till your dad gets home” situation

[JesusSweatDuck 17784]

Cross posting because it belongs here as well

 

 

 

[YGIFS 19452]

I need to say this out loud more.  And y'all do, too.  I am a good dad.  I am not a great dad.  But I am not a bad dad.  I am a good dad.  And I am proud of that. 

And I sure as fuck want to be better one in 2023.  And beyond.  

Homo sapiens "Fathers" have existed for 200,000 years.  For most of that time we fucked, foraged, and farmed.  Just a tiny, tiny fraction have we been this involved in the upbringing of our children.  We always provided food, warmth, and security.  But only now are we actively engaged in their total upbringing and development.  Obviously we're doing a crummy job, but we're trying our level best.  And it's a decent effort, all things considered. 

Society hasn't progressed this much because we got smarter, found more resources, got religion, or read more books.  We progressed so rapidly in the last few centuries because fathers started giving a fuck.  Instead of using our spare time away from hunting and gathering and harvesting, a handful of dads took an interest in their children.  And those children went on to develop everything we see and use.  And now that our daughters are empowered, it'll hit warp speed any day now.  It's not God or Allah or Buddha or Mother Nature, it's children of loving parents that moves the universe.  All the rest is the bullshit mythology we used to tell ourselves because we were too fucking busy finding dead meat and needed a shortcut to raise our kids with ethics.  But now we can.  We can nurture them like never before and strip away the bullshit.  

I will try harder.  I will never be great.  But I want to be better.  Most of you are better, but can still get better.  I will be better.  Because I have to.  Because they deserve it.  See y'all on the other side. 

Edited December 22, 2022 by YGIFS

[Celery Man 20981]

Dad Christmas project-

Rory loved this thing at the Thinkery when we were visiting Austin for Thanksgiving 

trying to put one together with a shadow box and strip leds. Wife glued some foam to the board which is definitely the wrong kind and has made this 10x more difficult (my prediction was we would rip it out and replace it with polyethylene, which is what we will end up doing but no time right now).

about ready to paint, hope it works.

[atomheartbevo 89757]

8 hours ago, YGIFS said:

I will try harder.  I will never be great.  But I want to be better.  Most of you are better, but can still get better.  I will be better.  Because I have to.  Because they deserve it.  See y'all on the other side. 

I’m taking notes when we watch Bluey.

[Message Board User 12395]

9 hours ago, YGIFS said:

I am not a great dad. 

Speak for yourself.

I am, in fact, a great Dad.

[atomheartbevo 89757]

On 12/20/2022 at 9:21 PM, atomheartbevo said:

I had all presents for the kids, both from us and from Santa, delivered and mostly wrapped by yesterday morning and am not sweating any delivery times or dreading visiting any stores.

3 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

I’m taking notes when we watch Bluey.

So it's becoming our tradition to watch some of the better kids' shows that have Christmas episodes (Charlie Brown is scheduled), and so tonight we watched the Verandah Santa and Christmas Swimming episodes of Bluey.

After watching ' Veranda Santa' my six year-old asked if there was a Santa, and I asked her who she thought brought the presents and set them out at night while they slept, and she point blank looks at me and said "I think you buy the presents and put them out for us."

Meanwhile the older sibling still believes.

[Jkwellborn 6713]

We’ve told our kids that Santa and toys only come to those that believe.

[wild_turkey 3171]

I suppose this gets me into the club?




Baby girl, born 12/21/22 at 6:25 am, 7 lb 0 oz.

We were in the hospital for 34 hours waiting. Wife was having steady contractions that entire time but luckily not too painful and she was her usual upbeat happy self. Had some issues towards the end that looked like we might be headed towards a C-section, things improved at the right time and proceeded with vaginal delivery, but man that part got rough. The doctor let me help deliver and catch her coming out, what an incredible experience.

Wife had complications immediately after but they stabilized her and she is doing better. Still having a lot of pain 2 days later, but gradually improving and the acute concerns are behind us.

Baby is doing awesome. She is completely healthy, all checkups have been great, going home today.

The doctors, nurses, and hospital staff have been amazing. I’m a doctor and these people inspire me to be better at my own job. The L&D nurses in particular are saints.

We got married young, now married 17 years, neither of us ever had the parenting itch until about 2 years ago when that switch flipped for both of us. What a whirlwind this has been but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Life is great today.

[Celery Man 20981]

 

hell yeah

[YGIFS 19452]

Very happy for you brother.  Hope your wife continues to heal. Very cute baby girl.  Reminds me of my oldest when she was born.  

Glad you had good nurses, that makes a huge difference.  First time we had a rough crew.  Second time, they were all saints.  I broke down at discharge and blurted out to the nurse, "Thank you for shepherding another soul into our world."  We both broke down crying.  It was the second biggest day of my life, but for her...it was Tuesday,  

[hookemATL 11802]

Best thing ever!  Congrats.  Still can’t help but get misty eyed when I see a newborn all burrito’ed up like that. Good luck and I hope it’s a short stay in recovery before y’all are able to get home 🤘

[South Austin 52523]

Congrats, @wild_turkey. That’s a beautiful girl you got there. I had always wanted a boy as my first child, but life had other plans, and I’ve loved every second of having a daughter.

[Steel Shank 9429]

@wild_turkey That’s awesome! Best title a man can have! Peace and happiness.

[Modessit 5603]

I suppose this gets me into the club?




Baby girl, born 12/21/22 at 6:25 am, 7 lb 0 oz.

We were in the hospital for 34 hours waiting. Wife was having steady contractions that entire time but luckily not too painful and she was her usual upbeat happy self. Had some issues towards the end that looked like we might be headed towards a C-section, things improved at the right time and proceeded with vaginal delivery, but man that part got rough. The doctor let me help deliver and catch her coming out, what an incredible experience.

Wife had complications immediately after but they stabilized her and she is doing better. Still having a lot of pain 2 days later, but gradually improving and the acute concerns are behind us.

Baby is doing awesome. She is completely healthy, all checkups have been great, going home today.

The doctors, nurses, and hospital staff have been amazing. I’m a doctor and these people inspire me to be better at my own job. The L&D nurses in particular are saints.

We got married young, now married 17 years, neither of us ever had the parenting itch until about 2 years ago when that switch flipped for both of us. What a whirlwind this has been but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Life is great today.

Congrats! What a cutie! Shares a birthday with my dad (RIP).

[JesusSweatDuck 17784]

7 hours ago, wild_turkey said:

I suppose this gets me into the club?




Baby girl, born 12/21/22 at 6:25 am, 7 lb 0 oz.

We were in the hospital for 34 hours waiting. Wife was having steady contractions that entire time but luckily not too painful and she was her usual upbeat happy self. Had some issues towards the end that looked like we might be headed towards a C-section, things improved at the right time and proceeded with vaginal delivery, but man that part got rough. The doctor let me help deliver and catch her coming out, what an incredible experience.

Wife had complications immediately after but they stabilized her and she is doing better. Still having a lot of pain 2 days later, but gradually improving and the acute concerns are behind us.

Baby is doing awesome. She is completely healthy, all checkups have been great, going home today.

The doctors, nurses, and hospital staff have been amazing. I’m a doctor and these people inspire me to be better at my own job. The L&D nurses in particular are saints.

We got married young, now married 17 years, neither of us ever had the parenting itch until about 2 years ago when that switch flipped for both of us. What a whirlwind this has been but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Life is great today.

Congrats, daughters are awesome. My wife had a similar situation with our first. Second was easier. Our first was born on 12/20

[atomheartbevo 89757]

9 hours ago, wild_turkey said:

I suppose this gets me into the club?

Always wipe front to back.

[YGIFS 19452]

Every bit of parenting advice you get is absolute garbage.  It's beyond worthless.  It's actually damaging because you also have to pretend to give a shit about pretending to care about it, and that takes what tiny bit of energy your un-rested ass has left in it.  Except two things  

1.  The days are long and the years are short.  The photos of you holding the baby will prove me right.

2.  Learn to swaddle.  The rest is bullshit.  The books, the doctor recommendations, the in-laws advice, the websites, the mommy care groups.  It's shit.  It's all shit.  But learn to swaddle that little person in the dark, upside-down, left-handed, drunk.  If you can smoothly and quietly get that thing swaddled for bed while mommy dozes off...the world is a better place.  Don't fucking fumble around.  Nobody cares you averaged 7 points a game in junior varsity hoops.  That's not coordination.  Silently swaddling baby at 3am with nobody being the wiser.  That's some fucking magic shit right there.  Bonus points for a bottle feed from the pump depot and a fresh diaper.  But getting baby all snuggly wuggly without anybody knowing except Daddy and his Creator.............not only does it help everybody sleep better...but you can hold your head up high the next day and silently tell yourself, "I did that."  There's no better feeling in the world until they're about 2-3 years old and can hug you back and say "Love you too, Daddy."  All else is commentary.  

[Jkwellborn 6713]

I always laugh when I get parenting advice from people that don’t have kids. Or just have pets. Lol. I just shake my head later and tell my wife about it.