Surly Dad Thread

[Thatguy 8686]

9 hours ago, wild_turkey said:

I suppose this gets me into the club?




Baby girl, born 12/21/22 at 6:25 am, 7 lb 0 oz.

We were in the hospital for 34 hours waiting. Wife was having steady contractions that entire time but luckily not too painful and she was her usual upbeat happy self. Had some issues towards the end that looked like we might be headed towards a C-section, things improved at the right time and proceeded with vaginal delivery, but man that part got rough. The doctor let me help deliver and catch her coming out, what an incredible experience.

Wife had complications immediately after but they stabilized her and she is doing better. Still having a lot of pain 2 days later, but gradually improving and the acute concerns are behind us.

Baby is doing awesome. She is completely healthy, all checkups have been great, going home today.

The doctors, nurses, and hospital staff have been amazing. I’m a doctor and these people inspire me to be better at my own job. The L&D nurses in particular are saints.

We got married young, now married 17 years, neither of us ever had the parenting itch until about 2 years ago when that switch flipped for both of us. What a whirlwind this has been but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Life is great today.

 

2 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Every bit of parenting advice you get is absolute garbage.  It's beyond worthless.  It's actually damaging because you also have to pretend to give a shit about pretending to care about it, and that takes what tiny bit of energy your un-rested ass has left in it.  Except two things  

1.  The days are long and the years are short.  The photos of you holding the baby will prove me right.

2.  Learn to swaddle.  The rest is bullshit.  The books, the doctor recommendations, the in-laws advice, the websites, the mommy care groups.  It's shit.  It's all shit.  But learn to swaddle that little person in the dark, upside-down, left-handed, drunk.  If you can smoothly and quietly get that thing swaddled for bed while mommy dozes off...the world is a better place.  Don't fucking fumble around.  Nobody cares you averaged 7 points a game in junior varsity hoops.  That's not coordination.  Silently swaddling baby at 3am with nobody being the wiser.  That's some fucking magic shit right there.  Bonus points for a bottle feed from the pump depot and a fresh diaper.  But getting baby all snuggly wuggly without anybody knowing except Daddy and his Creator.............not only does it help everybody sleep better...but you can hold your head up high the next day and silently tell yourself, "I did that."  There's no better feeling in the world until they're about 2-3 years old and can hug you back and say "Love you too, Daddy."  All else is commentary.  

 

  This @YGIFS guy doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about. Here is some advice. 

 

1) Your little girl will have broken your sorry ass down by the time she is 3 years old. You will tell yourself that she won't but it's damn near impossible unless you're a deranged sociopath. 

2) Whatever age you have in mind that boys come around its earlier than that. 

3) They are emotional. Very. You will never understand. 

4) Start slowly working on a man cave because at some point she will challenge your wife for vaginal superiority and you will want to have your own "Switzerland" when it happens. 

5) Your two ladies will absolutely be dueling banjos for who can take the longest getting ready. At some point the little one will want to wear something like the big one is wearing which is cute, then it will turn into not wanting the big one to look better than her, then it will turn into not giving a shit. 

6) Their periods will sync and you will need to refer to step 4 above. 

7) There will come a point in time where the information will go to momma first. Do not be offended as this is what you want. Let momma filter the stuff about periods and such. Anything important will find its way to you. 

8 ) Girls as g-damned expensive. At some point you will question if you need all this shit. The answer is you do. 

9) When you hear the arguing over insignificant things, DO NOT willingly inject yourself into it. In fact, you will be looked for to settle many meaningless disputes. Make sure you refer back to step 4. As the footsteps approach, the communication device of said time period needs to quickly be dawned. Simply raise a finger and mouth "it's a client". Then pace back and forth and rattle off something about 4th quarter mergers. 

10) Many times your wife will be dead wrong about whatever insignificant thing they are arguing about. Perhaps you will just want to be honest. Perhaps you might see this as a chance to win points with your kid. It's a trap. 

11) Any jokes or comments that would be offensive to women are now offensive to two women. Tread lightly. 

12) You will think every man at the playground is a serial killer until said guy's kid comes running up to him and puts your mind at ease. Just normal behavior for a girl dad. 

13) Never allow them to play with Legos. Trust me. 

14) Every scantily clad coed that you used to gladly look at walking by will now bring thoughts of my daughter better never dress like that. 

15) If you do laundry, DO NOT do laundry after elementary school. 

16) Girls are sneakier than boys are. 

17) Whatever emotional support you think she needs she will need more. 

18) Teach her to do the same things you would've taught a boy. She will appreciate it down the road. 

19) When she gets to the age that her little friends start coming over refer back to step 4. 

20) Even when she gets older you will always be daddy. Girls cherish their fathers. Remember that through the rough times. No one will ever replace you. Even when HE comes along with his white teeth, turtleneck, and blossoming career. 

[tbone_ 14115]

This is all true. Even 18, though she will likely try to die during said lessons.

[atomheartbevo 89649]

30 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:

I always laugh when I get parenting advice from people that don’t have kids. Or just have pets. Lol. I just shake my head later and tell my wife about it.

 

 

[atomheartbevo 89649]

Anybody near Shoal Creek and West 38th and doing last minute shopping for the younger kids, and want quality stuff, Over the Rainbow is open at least part of tomorrow, starting at 9am.  We’ve been going to them for 10 years, and they’ve been around since the 70s at different locations, kind of a small Terra Toys.

https://www.facebook.com/OvertheRainbowToystoreAtx/

1601 W 38th Street, just a few doors north of Kearney Lane Cafe off of West 38th Street.

[atomheartbevo 89649]

7 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Kearney Lane Cafe off of West 38th Street.

Kerbey Lane Cafe,  stupid autocorrect 

[Celery Man 20934]

2 hours ago, Thatguy said:

 

1) Your little girl will have broken your sorry ass down by the time she is 3 years old. You will tell yourself that she won't but it's damn near impossible unless you're a deranged sociopath. 

 

a) every morning now starts with "DA-EEE!" and a 20 month old hugging my head
b) she is now able to scream "NO DA-EEE STOP! DOON'T" and it's fucked up how effective it is

[hookemATL 11714]

I got two of ‘em and it’s hard and amazing and excruciating and the greatest privilege in the world. Being a girl dad fucking rocks, and they make me a way better human being than I could have ever imagined. 
 

brb gonna go give my babies a kiss on the forehead. Goddamn I love them so much. 

[BigOrange1 6436]

15 hours ago, wild_turkey said:

I suppose this gets me into the club?




Baby girl, born 12/21/22 at 6:25 am, 7 lb 0 oz.

We were in the hospital for 34 hours waiting. Wife was having steady contractions that entire time but luckily not too painful and she was her usual upbeat happy self. Had some issues towards the end that looked like we might be headed towards a C-section, things improved at the right time and proceeded with vaginal delivery, but man that part got rough. The doctor let me help deliver and catch her coming out, what an incredible experience.

Wife had complications immediately after but they stabilized her and she is doing better. Still having a lot of pain 2 days later, but gradually improving and the acute concerns are behind us.

Baby is doing awesome. She is completely healthy, all checkups have been great, going home today.

The doctors, nurses, and hospital staff have been amazing. I’m a doctor and these people inspire me to be better at my own job. The L&D nurses in particular are saints.

We got married young, now married 17 years, neither of us ever had the parenting itch until about 2 years ago when that switch flipped for both of us. What a whirlwind this has been but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Life is great today.

fucking congrats man.  just from your posting history on this site and shaggy, i would surmise that you and i are about the same age.  my daughter will be two on 12/29 and it's a wild fucking ride.  they go from not being able to do anything at all to melting your heart when they say "da-da" and reach for a hug in a blink of an eye.  prepare to not have nearly as much you time as you used to have, and for that to suck sometimes - but again, as soon as you hear "da-da" and see her smile you don't even fucking care.

[Fudbelty 2788]

Congratulations. Some real parenting advice. BRING EXTRA CLOTHES! Tops and bottoms. She’s going to shit and it’s going to get EVERYWHERE!

[Celery Man 20934]

I put one of everything that goes into the diaper bag in my truck. Your wife may be more sane than mine, but during breast feeding/pumping she was very prone to responding to questions like “do we have wipes in the bag?” with “I’M NOT IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING”. So I would frequent try just have backups to everything on my person, which saved the day several times. Travel section at Target has baby wipe packets that are a bit more pocket sized. Pumping and breast feeding is a crazy amount of work btw.

Edited December 24, 2022 by Celery Man

[hookemATL 11714]

If you are going the breast pumping route, they now have completely wireless pumps that have an app and everything. Allows wifey to be able to multitask while pumping or just not be tethered to a plug-in pump multiple times a day. They fit right under the bra and are self contained. Can track the amount pumped and all that shiz. Pretty cool and I definitely never put them on my own chest and strutted around like moron to “amuse” my wife. 
 

https://onewillow.com/

 

 

[Willfully Horn 8008]

Dave Grohl is (likely) not a Surly dad. But his daughter’s cover of this Janis Ian classic? Not only a Hanukkah present. Merry! and Happy! to all.

 

[wild_turkey 3159]

Thanks everyone.

If I’m being honest, I kinda wanted a girl. I would’ve wanted a boy too, but we got a girl and I wanted a girl. I think girls are awesome, and my wife is a badass, so if she grows up to have some of my wife’s personality and looks, I’ll be super happy.

I’m prepared for less sleep and less time. I’m sure it will suck at times, but I have too much energy for a guy my age and this might bring me down to normal. I needed some new hobbies as well.

Wife is not breast feeding. She had some colostrum saved up from the week before and we gave that, but then switched to formula. There are various reasons for that, but even if she had wanted to breast feed, I’m not sure she would be able to. Her recovery has been painful and slow. She’ll get there. I enjoy formula feeding because it allows me to be on equal footing from a responsibility standpoint.

I used to get annoyed when my wife would do something like leave her shoes in the middle of the kitchen floor. At some point it occurred to me that if anything ever happened to her, I would really miss coming home and seeing her shoes in the middle of the floor. It’s a blessing to have that in my life, and that mindset helps me avoid frustrations over little things.

I’m trying to apply that perspective towards the less pleasant aspects of parenting. Waking up to do a feeding or change a diaper may kinda suck, and I could look forward to the day when that’s no longer necessary, but life goes fast and there will be a day when I miss having that responsibility, so I’ll try to cherish it now.

[Celery Man 20934]

There’s a whole thing around formula and the pressure to breast feed or at least pump. It’s like…. mommy blogs treat formula like you’re using liquid smoke on a brisket or something. Which is bullshit, the important thing is that the baby is fed and cleaned and loved amd safe, and as long as you do that you’re not fucking up. You’re probably aware of the whole thing around pressure to breast feed, so just keep supporting your wife. My wife never breast fed, always pumped- it was great to be able to feed the baby.

[YGIFS 19450]

Bottled breast milk.  Formula.  Cow's milk.  0.5% beer milk.  Whatever it is.  Feed the baby.  Hold them close.  Pat yourself on the back for giving the mommy a break.  Just don't tell her you patted yourself on the back.  I used to watch DVR shows during feedings, speak to her in German, speak to her in Spanish, read Don Delillo novels, anything, and everything.  What you do with them 1:1 when she's asleep, it's not happened for 99% of human history.  Dads never, ever fed infants.  Ever.  Only in the last 1% of human history did we do it.  So we can write the script anew.  We can bond with them in a way never imagined by even Mother Nature herself.  They'll shun us dads soon enough.  That's the way.  Meantime, clear the crap outta your eyes, smile, feed them, swaddle them back to bed, and exhale knowing you are connecting with  baby in a way even the universe didn't see coming.  

[Brisketexan 105095]

Speak for yourself.
I am, in fact, a great Dad.

Fuck you, I’m the world’s GREATEST dad, and somewhere in a box of shit to give away is the 20+ yr old coffee mug to prove it!

Wild Turkey, dude….congratulations. Seriously, just awesome. Hope your wife keeps improving and you all head home soon, because that’s when you’ll stand around a bassinet, watch the baby sleep, and wonder “well….what the fuck do we do NOW?” Sure, listen to all the advice, but realize that y’all need to do what’s best and what fits you and yours. You’ll fuck go along the way, don’t beat yourself up about it.

Meanwhile, having my morning coffee and talking geopolitics with my daughter this morning. She drops some knowledge she got from “a Swedish soldier I went on a coupla dates with…don’t worry, it didn’t work out.” I mean…I don’t even know she’d gone on dates while she was over there. I just want her to meet someone and be happy, dating hasn’t come easy to her. And whenever one (or both) of our kiddos are on a long international journey home, usually overnight, I leave my phone on my nightstand with the ringer on and sleep really light, because I’m a dad and I worry and there’s nothing I can do to change that.
Whether you’re swaddling them or listening to them tell you about dating Sergeant Bjorn, they’re still your daughter, and you’re still their dad.

[South Austin 52463]

1 hour ago, wild_turkey said:

I’m trying to apply that perspective towards the less pleasant aspects of parenting. Waking up to do a feeding or change a diaper may kinda suck, and I could look forward to the day when that’s no longer necessary, but life goes fast and there will be a day when I miss having that responsibility, so I’ll try to cherish it now.

Sounds sappy, but I absolutely loved those 2am wake-up calls when it was my turn to feed the kids, sitting in their dark room while the world felt still and I’d stare with wonder at those little creatures. It’s not for everyone, but those are some of my favorite moments in my life.

[Modessit 5599]

The only advice you need right now is sleep when the baby sleeps.

If you can sleep at all. It takes a while to get over the terror of "is the baby breathing?"

[capnamerca 571]

1 hour ago, South Austin said:

Sounds sappy, but I absolutely loved those 2am wake-up calls when it was my turn to feed the kids, sitting in their dark room while the world felt still and I’d stare with wonder at those little creatures. It’s not for everyone, but those are some of my favorite moments in my life.

There isn't a big-enough all-caps font for me to use that captures the amount of THIS. Fucking THIS. 

I'd hold my daughter in the crook of my left arm, and pat her butt until she went to sleep. I'd try and see how deep I could make the footprints in the carpet as I swayed, singing to her. For the first 3-4 months, she stayed in a room just off of the master (like an office space, attached to the master but with a door). I was able to be the baby retriever when it was time for mom to feed her, and the baby returner. Awesome balance for me and my wife, and amazing bonding time for my daughter (and my son, tbh - same setup). The time with those babies is irreplaceable, and it does my heart good to see all these great dads in this thread.

[capnamerca 571]

15 minutes ago, Modessit said:

If you can sleep at all. It takes a while to get over the terror of "is the baby breathing?"

Which is replaced with a new kind of terror when the kid first sleeps more than 3 hours. "Holy fuck it's WHAT time?" followed by the sprint to their room (to find them perfectly fine, and actually SLEEPING and oh holy god thank you for the rest)

[atomheartbevo 89649]

3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Fuck you, I’m the world’s GREATEST dad, and somewhere in a box of shit to give away is the 20+ yr old coffee mug to prove it!

I thought I was until I watched Bluey.

[Mole 4330]

Regarding breast feeding vs formula, the research is an exercise in selection bias. The last time I checked a few years ago, the only studies that controlled well for population only showed minor differences — like one less case of diarrhea per year. The rest of the studies successfully showed that wealthy, well-educated parents will be more likely to have good outcomes for their children. 

The parenting-industrial complex — a powerful network of busy-body sister-in-laws, “breast is best” touting nurses, and mommy blog superstars, all armed with shaky research they don’t understand and an ever-growing body of parenting books — love to scare and belittle new parents. My advice to new parents is to ignore this insidious force and just love their new kid.

[Thatguy 8686]

3 hours ago, Modessit said:

The only advice you need right now is sleep when the baby sleeps.

If you can sleep at all. It takes a while to get over the terror of "is the baby breathing?"

 

3 hours ago, capnamerca said:

Which is replaced with a new kind of terror when the kid first sleeps more than 3 hours. "Holy fuck it's WHAT time?" followed by the sprint to their room (to find them perfectly fine, and actually SLEEPING and oh holy god thank you for the rest)

  My kid is 14 and I still peek in her room early in the am when I get up. 

[Celery Man 20934]

6 hours ago, capnamerca said:

Which is replaced with a new kind of terror when the kid first sleeps more than 3 hours. "Holy fuck it's WHAT time?" followed by the sprint to their room (to find them perfectly fine, and actually SLEEPING and oh holy god thank you for the rest)

Then replaced by this terror

 

 

 

holy shit this thing kinda works. def need to replace the foam when I get the new piece, give it a bit more sturdiness for the pegs to stay in place. Obviously need to do some cable management as well.

[Thatguy 8686]

  Story Time-

 

   Back when the kiddo was a toddler. She has figured out how to get out of her bed and is now coming into our room nightly to try and sleep with us. At first we are letting her, but as you know that shit gets really old after awhile, especially when Thatguy hasn't had sexy time in awhile. So we commit to walking her back to her bed every night, no matter the teary-eyed excuse she gives us. After awhile she stops making excuses and simply starts sneaking into our bed while we are sleeping. She has even figured out that momma is the heavier sleeper, so she climbs in on her side. To combat this we had to start closing our door. 

  One night I open my eyes and see a blue light moving around on the ceiling. I sit up in the bed in a panic when I see the light is coming from underneath the crack of the door. Remember in the movies when the aliens are in the house and the light is emanating from around the door? Just like that. Every hair on the back of my neck is standing up. In my sleepy haze I am rationalizing that there are no aliens. That's when I realize what is was.

  I wake up my wife, and watch her go through the same process that I did. First she sits up in the bed when she sees the light. Then her eyes get big when she sees this light coming from underneath the door. That's when I whisper to her what it is. We tip toe over and open it to find our daughter outside the door shining her rechargeable blue bird night light underneath the door. 

[Thatguy 8686]

    My kid is a teenager, and like almost all teenagers, always looking for her own space. So tonight we fired up the big screen in the theater room and all watched a movie together. When it was over we all passed out together. Wife, daughter, and all 3 cats. I am laying on the beanbag couch that folds out into a queen sized bed. We have two of them. My daughter decides to lay down with me instead of momma. These moments are few and far between now so I cherish them whenever I get them. 

[hookem2010 2624]

My little guy is now almost 7 months old. He had to undergo 3 surgeries for the same thing, a minor problem, but one that required a good amount of post-op care and was obviously very stressful and scary for us. We're nearly 2 months out from the last procedure and seem to be in the clear. AND he's now sleeping through the night. He army crawled across the rug last night, so shit is about to get dialed up to 11. If his constant restlessness is any indication, he's not going to stop moving once he gets started.

[Celery Man 20934]

We’ve been potty training since Christmas. She’s on the young side, but in the range (20 months). I expected it to go slow and I was right. I think we’ve made progress but goddamn I’m worn out.

[Fudbelty 2788]

I remember thinking it was beating potty training both our girls but honestly it was cake compared to the boy.

[Snake Diggity 4621]

2 hours ago, Celery Man said:

We’ve been potty training since Christmas. She’s on the young side, but in the range (20 months). I expected it to go slow and I was right. I think we’ve made progress but goddamn I’m worn out.

Potty training was one of the VERY few things about parenthood that was easier than I expected.  We did the deal where you stay home and don’t let the kid wear pants for a weekend asking them to go potty every 15 waking minutes.  Worked like a charm for both girls and I think they were around 20 months.  Hang in there.

[Celery Man 20934]

Yeah that’s what we’re doing. Has not been a 3 day thing for us though. She’s getting there, but is hit or miss if she’ll indicate she’s about to go. 

[atomheartbevo 89649]

57 minutes ago, Snake Diggity said:

Potty training was one of the VERY few things about parenthood that was easier than I expected.  We did the deal where you stay home and don’t let the kid wear pants for a weekend asking them to go potty every 15 waking minutes.  Worked like a charm for both girls and I think they were around 20 months.  Hang in there.

I still see people hauling the little potties around with them to places like parks, or having it in the back of the minivan or SUV and making the kid use it frequently.

They are doing a fantastic job of teaching their kids to piss in the park or in the car.

[atomheartbevo 89649]

1 hour ago, Fudbelty said:

I remember thinking it was beating potty training both our girls but honestly it was cake compared to the boy.

The toilet my kids use, it's in this little niche in the bathroom, and around the time we started teaching our son to use the toilet, I saw moisture along the back wall and one of the side walls, right at where the tile/ground meets the wall.  The hot water heater was on the other side, and I was freaking out thinking it was leaking and seeping through the wall, but could not figure it out.

Finally, my wife caught our son going in there and pissing on the side of the toilet, and because of the way the floor was, it draining to the wall area.

So it was actually piss.

[Snake Diggity 4621]

When we potty trained my oldest, we told her she’d get candy once she went poop in the potty the first time.  She did, and so I handed her a Hershey chocolate kiss as a reward.  She tossed it in the toilet.

[atomheartbevo 89649]

27 minutes ago, Snake Diggity said:

When we potty trained my oldest, we told her she’d get candy once she went poop in the potty the first time.  She did, and so I handed her a Hershey chocolate kiss as a reward.  She tossed it in the toilet.

[Celery Man 20934]

Kiddo isn't at that level of communication yet - she's super "talkative", she can help me figure out what it is she wants me to play on Disney+ (Sa = Elsa = Frozen, or O-af = Frozen, Daw = Dog = Bolt, Buh = Bull = Ferdinand, Munny = Bunny = Zootopia, etc), she picks up new words all the time and I think understands a whole lot of what we're saying, but is not at a point where I can strike a deal with her or really explain what we're doing. Probably we're jumping the gun a bit but the break is such a good opportunity to go all in at it. I'm looking forward to going back to work though.

[hookem2010 2624]

Because we can't go more than 2 months without a health crisis, my 7 month-old has Covid. He was scheduled for his 2nd shot this coming week too. I've never seen him so miserable, even after his surgeries. Poor guy is just dripping snot with temp hovering around 101, even with alternating motrin and Tylenol.  Looks like I'll be up to ring in the new year!

[Fudbelty 2788]

Sorry to hear about the boy. Sucks when the kids are sick. Multiplied by 100 when they’re so young and can’t really communicate. Myself and the 10 yr old both had the flu last week before Christmas. This Thursday evening the 6 yr old said he wasn’t feeling well. Boom, also flu.

[atomheartbevo 89649]

Letting the kids stay up for the first time until midnight and I'm the one who is having a hard time staying awake.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Letting the kids stay up for the first time until midnight and I'm the one who is having a hard time staying awake.

Gonna be a bitch trying to get my daughter back on school sleep schedule after being off the last week and a half. Hopefully she wears herself out today and conks at a reasonable time

[Planet Houston 4930]

Lost my pops yesterday - very sudden turn for the worse with COVID where he never saw a doc until he was DOA at the hospital. 76 and in otherwise great health. I’m an only child so I have to take care of my mom first and foremost. 

Hearing from all of my close friends has been so appreciated but I thought I’d share/vent to my internet friends as well. NYE will be bittersweet for the rest of my life. 

Hug your dads, moms, kids, wives, husbands etc. It can end at any moment. 

Edited January 1, 2023 by Planet Houston

[Snake Diggity 4621]

2 hours ago, Planet Houston said:

Lost my pops yesterday - very sudden turn for the worse with COVID where he never saw a doc until he was DOA at the hospital. 76 and in otherwise great health. I’m an only child so I have to take care of my mom first and foremost. 

Hearing from all of my close friends has been so appreciated but I thought I’d share/vent to my internet friends as well. NYE will be bittersweet for the rest of my life. 

Hug your dads, moms, kids, wives, husbands etc. It can end at any moment. 

Sorry for your loss.

[tbone_ 14115]

Sucks man. Sorry to hear about your pops. Been down that road. Hang in there.

[52-80 19150]

When did you find out if your kid is a rightie or leftie?

Mine starting grabbing his wiener exclusively with his left, so i think thats a pretty surefire indication.  

[Fudbelty 2788]

Pretty sure mine is amphibious

[Homercles 10205]

On 12/24/2022 at 7:07 AM, Celery Man said:

I put one of everything that goes into the diaper bag in my truck. Your wife may be more sane than mine, but during breast feeding/pumping she was very prone to responding to questions like “do we have wipes in the bag?” with “I’M NOT IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING”. So I would frequent try just have backups to everything on my person, which saved the day several times. Travel section at Target has baby wipe packets that are a bit more pocket sized. Pumping and breast feeding is a crazy amount of work btw.

It took me too long to recognize the concept of mental load, and drove my wife nuts a bit in the process when we had our first.  She’s always been The Planner and I’ve filled the role of The Do-er better than most husbands I’m around…but once I found a few niches where I could consistently be more proactive (adding stuff to curbside, initiating conversations ahead of time on upcoming holidays/dr apt/etc, getting the dinner recipe in the morning instead of waiting for her to send it, etc) then it helped a lot.  
 

Im sure you already knew that, and sounds like you solved that problem, just figured I’d finally join this thread with a worthless addition.  Having kids certainly exposes any opportunities you have in your relationship.  Good buddy of mine will do anything you ask of him without complaint…but you have to ask.  

Of course it’s way better than this one guy I ran across at a friends thanksgiving party…this all-gut bastard sat on the couch while ladies prepped food, he ate three plates, then laid out immediately afterwards taking up the whole couch while my wife and I tackled dishes.  His wife is hot too and I remember wondering what she was thinking seeing that.  

[52-80 19150]

25 minutes ago, Fudbelty said:

Pretty sure mine is amphibious

He grabs his dick underwater?

[Celery Man 20934]

We had some arguments about “mental load”, but ultimately it helped me communicate a bit better. I think it’s a legit concept, but also… I think she reads a lot of complaints from other internet moms and I’d love for her to properly understand how I differ from their husbands. But, I’m an asshole so that may be part of the dynamic. There is just communication stuff though - I ask lots of questions and do lots of clarifying and am in that mode all the time. It’s basically what I do for a living. And she hears it as me saying “you should have all of these answers” and less “this is your opportunity for input before I take care of this thing”. Work in progress. But just taking care of shit (like handing her a thing of wipes as she is saying “oh dammit we forgot wipes”) works well.

 

turning the corner on potty training. she’s been stopping all day and asking to go to the potty. Thank God.

[Homercles 10205]

Yeah after I posted that and came back to this thread, realized I came across a bit preachy there…wasn’t aimed at you.  

The ‘last chance for input’ comment def strikes a chord with me.  Sucks to be proactive and take care of something, only to get grief that it wasn’t done the way they envisioned.  Social media in general seems to give people massively skewed views on how their life should go.  

[NoName 16351]

On 12/23/2022 at 7:36 PM, Jkwellborn said:

I always laugh when I get parenting advice from people that don’t have kids. Or just have pets. Lol. I just shake my head later and tell my wife about it.

i just lie to their faces directly. (old) lady at church i don't know asks if we are breast feeding? yes ma'am she still is (she stopped at like 2 months)

people give unrequested suggestions about food? yeah we are doing something close to that (no, we won't be doing what you did in the 60s)

someone suggests some essential oil for baby's cough? great idea i will tell my wife about it! (she probably does own that oil but will never use it)

Edited January 3, 2023 by NoName