Surly Dad Thread

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

On 2/5/2023 at 9:18 AM, Fudbelty said:

13yr old female is my least favorite age so far. Surely it’ll turn back to the good.

12 year old female. Brutal. 

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

Her “doing the dishes” first two picture. 
picture three what it looked like after I woke her up at 5:00 in the morning this morning to do it right after she got sent to bed early Sunday for being rude as I was  instructing her how to do the job right. She is the rudest human being in the world who doesn’t post on Surly. 

Edited April 4, 2023 by Wulaw Horn

[tbone_ 14115]

12 year old female. Brutal. 

16 has gotten somewhat better

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

7 hours ago, tbone_ said:

16 has gotten somewhat better

Glad to hear it. She is a little rude to her mom. She is indescribably rude to me. I don’t get it. She holds me at fault for all the problems in the world and acts like I’m the dumbest human being ever. 
I am convinced Hod makes them so awful at this age or we as dads would never allow them to leave our house and marry some other dude. I have no other explanation for the shitty and unbelievably awful person that’s replaced my sweet daughter. She’s a monster. And I like and have always gotten along fine with teenage type kids. Nieces, nephews, kids I taught in school etc. she’s a beating though and I just want it to stop. 
At three we thought she was a sociopath. 
I remember she got mad at my wife one time and 3 days later calmly told her “mommy- I’ve been thinking about it and I waited to say it until now because I’d didn’t want you to think I was just mad, but I don’t love you.  Just thought you should know. Wtf?  What 3 year old says that. The. She turned 4 and it was like the clouds parted and the angels sang and it was awesome from 4-11.  Ow at 13 it’s like body snatchers replaced her with this other creature. 

Edited April 4, 2023 by Wulaw Horn

[hookemATL 11714]

1 hour ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Glad to hear it. She is a little rude to her mom. She is indescribably rude to me. I don’t get it. She holds me at fault for all the problems in the world and acts like I’m the dumbest human being ever. 
I am convinced Hod makes them so awful at this age or we as dads would never allow them to leave our house and marry some other dude. I have no other explanation for the shitty and unbelievably awful person that’s replaced my sweet daughter. She’s a monster. And I like and have always gotten along fine with teenage type kids. Nieces, nephews, kids I taught in school etc. she’s a beating though and I just want it to stop. 
At three we thought she was a sociopath. 
I remember she got mad at my wife one time and 3 days later calmly told her “mommy- I’ve been thinking about it and I waited to say it until now because I’d didn’t want you to think I was just mad, but I don’t love you.  Just thought you should know. Wtf?  What 3 year old says that. The. She turned 4 and it was like the clouds parted and the angels sang and it was awesome from 4-11.  Ow at 13 it’s like body snatchers replaced her with this other creature. 

Me, a father of two girls, reading this post:

 

[NoName 16351]

6 minutes ago, hookemATL said:

Me, a father of two girls, reading this post:

 

the first GIF was my immediate though/reaction myself.

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

55 minutes ago, hookemATL said:

Me, a father of two girls, reading this post:

 

Some girls never do this. And she is otherwise a great kid.  Most girls love their dads and always do. Everytime she's shitty to me my 7 year old comes up and gives me a hug and is like- I love you daddy, it will be ok.  I will never be like that.  She can see it and she's 7!  I don't think my experience in being singled out is necessarily how it works for everyone.

What's weird is it's always been this way.  When I held her to feed her she'd scream in my ear and in general freak out.  We had daddy and daughter days all the time and she never was really into them- and I mean from the time she was little little- like a baby. She never liked men.  Now- my other daughter loved me from the word go and was never happier than when I was holding her or we were together and doing stuff. Like night and day.  So, your daughter will be rude and surly I'm sure to the whole world but it's unlikely se will pick you out for special torture. 

[hookemATL 11714]

10 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Some girls never do this. And she is otherwise a great kid.  Most girls love their dads and always do. Everytime she's shitty to me my 7 year old comes up and gives me a hug and is like- I love you daddy, it will be ok.  I will never be like that.  She can see it and she's 7!  I don't think my experience in being singled out is necessarily how it works for everyone.

What's weird is it's always been this way.  When I held her to feed her she'd scream in my ear and in general freak out.  We had daddy and daughter days all the time and she never was really into them- and I mean from the time she was little little- like a baby. She never liked men.  Now- my other daughter loved me from the word go and was never happier than when I was holding her or we were together and doing stuff. Like night and day.  So, your daughter will be rude and surly I'm sure to the whole world but it's unlikely se will pick you out for special torture. 

Hopefully its just a very very very long phase

Good luck dudely.  I know you got a lot on your plate, and a hormonal daughter with an axe to grind against you surely does not help in the stress department.  I am sure down the road she will realize her behaviour is a bit unfair and her old man is just doing his best to love and provide for her.  Best of luck!

 

Edited April 4, 2023 by hookemATL
but if some rich lord comes calling with a nice dowry, maybe take a minute to consider the offer

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

2 minutes ago, hookemATL said:

Hopefully its just a very very very long phase

Good luck dudely.  I know you got a lot on your plate, and a hormonal daughter with an axe to grind against you surely does not help in the stress department.  I am sure down the road she will realize her behaviour is a bit unfair and her old man is just doing his best to love and provide for her.  Best of luck!

 

Thanks. And from 4-11 it was awesome!  Great stuff.  So, the deal is that kids in their hormonal/rebellion/teenage years are allegedly like they are when they lose their shit as 2 or 3 years olds.  Check.  So, hopefully when she comes out of this we are good again.  And then, weirdly, in your 60's people are like they are as 2/3 year olds and hitting puberty.  NO idea why this is. I assume this will end and we will be fine and she's literally just testing her limits but I've been patient and try to be understanding and try to talk/reason her through this.  That all ends now. She will hear 3 words from me when she's being like that- warning- time out- bed.  I'm getting closer and closer to the other 2 every day (10 YO Boy and 7 YO Girl), so this whole thing is a merry go round man- up and down and round and round.

[tbone_ 14115]

Yep. That’s how it works alright. Been that way since the beginning of time I suppose.

I’ve perused a few good books on how to understand teenagers that were helpful. Plenty of them out there.

[Celery Man 20934]

[Celery Man 20934]

Man my ducking back

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

It'll all be worth it when she decides she wants something more "grown up" in about two years.

Edit: and then the wife sells it on Facebook for $30 to help pay for the $300 dollar new bed that she wants to get for her. Also, you have to put together the new bed.

Edited April 9, 2023 by NotActuallyALonghorn

[Etexhorn13 3045]

5 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Man my ducking back

Damn dude, you seem like an awesome dad. My son is 18 months old so I know yours is a little older, but we took him to the children’s museum in Houston and he loved the pegs in the hole type thing you built for your daughter. That made me realize what a cool move that was. Fortunately for me, I know my son also only likes things for a couple weeks at a time so I decided I wasn’t going to go that route 😁. He’s 95th+ percentile in everything though so I’m just getting him basketball hoops, t ball shit, and soccer goals until he decides he’s going to be interested enough in one to become a scholarship athlete. At this rate he will be taller than me by 4th grade and we’ll on his way to earning me my retirement home in the mountains as a pro athlete!

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

You're doing it all wrong. You can't go with the mainstream sports. You gotta put him in something like flag football, because by the time he graduates all those sports will either be gone or there will be too much competition. You gotta figure out what the sports of the future are and put him in those. That, or ballet. Not a whole lot of dudes competing for scholarships in ballet compared to that other crap. 

[atomheartbevo 89651]

Man, my youngest is aware that Mommy and Daddy "help out" on the holidays with the delivery of presents, and my oldest was fishing around about the Easter Bunny today.

This maybe the last year we do this stuff - next year, no gifts from Julius Caesar, Easter Bunny, Doctor Delivery, The Great Satan, and Kris Kringle.

But wow we'll be saving a lot of money next year come March 15, Easter, Labor Day, Halloween, and Christmas. 

I'll miss March 15 though, and spattering fake blood on the presents and poking holes in them with a knife, or Labor Day and coming into the house dressed like a doctor and then spending an hour listening to my wife fake groaning and screaming as I pull presents out from underneath her surgical gown while the kids get more excited as it wears on.  I had somebody actually try and tell me that wasn't what labor day was about, but what the fuck do they know, they don't have kids and try telling my wife that women shouldn't have a holiday to celebrate the hell some of them go through delivering kids.

I won't miss Halloween and covering everything in black and lighting a bunch of candles and having to explain to the teachers/counselor at school afterward that we accidentally used a permanent marker but that the pentagrams would wear off the kids' hands in a few days or that the "blood" in their lunch kits was just kool-aid, but I'll miss the kids screaming out "Rege Satanas, Ave Satanas!" with each new gift - when they were younger, hearing them yell in Latin had a charm that's hard to match.

[Celery Man 20934]

She had a scary first nap in the thing - getting up, screaming, trying to open the door, she turned her sound machine off, climbing and staring into the monitor, eventually sleeping for about half an hour. Put her down last night wondering if I’d get any peace and she went straight down after some books. She has woken up twice this morning but is still in bed. Hell yeah.

[Etexhorn13 3045]

We bought one of these Slumber Pods around Christmas time to use when traveling to family and sharing a room with him in his pack n play. The first use was inconclusive since he was a little unsure if it, but holy shit I can fully say this thing works. Usually wakes up at 6-6:30 and has had to be woken up at 7:30 both mornings this weekend. A little pricey, and there may be similar things that cost less, but this one works great.

[Celery Man 20934]

🎶
the dad tax the dad tax

cause the rules are the rules
and the facts are the facts
if you have Easter candy you have to pay the tax

the dad tax the dad tax
🎵

[Celery Man 20934]

35 minutes ago, Etexhorn13 said:

We bought one of these Slumber Pods around Christmas time to use when traveling to family and sharing a room with him in his pack n play. The first use was inconclusive since he was a little unsure if it, but holy shit I can fully say this thing works. Usually wakes up at 6-6:30 and has had to be woken up at 7:30 both mornings this weekend. A little pricey, and there may be similar things that cost less, but this one works great.

wait so this is a tent that goes around the pack n play? I'm doing the cost benefit analysis of another thing on a flight (landing on... this would be worth it for driving trips but I'm maxed out on a plane) but yeah we ran into that problem several times. One trip I felt kinda bad we had her shoved in a closet.

[Etexhorn13 3045]

13 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

wait so this is a tent that goes around the pack n play? I'm doing the cost benefit analysis of another thing on a flight (landing on... this would be worth it for driving trips but I'm maxed out on a plane) but yeah we ran into that problem several times. One trip I felt kinda bad we had her shoved in a closet.

It is exactly like a little tent that goes over pack n pay, child cot, etc. There are vent flaps you can pull back/tie up, little pouches for a portable fan and stuff like that. The sleeping quarters at my parents place is a little awkward since we’re in a back house with a small separate bedroom, and he’s literally at the foot of our bed and we can walk in and turn on lights and do whatever we need to do and he sleeps straight through it all. Also works great for naptime during the day.

Edited April 9, 2023 by Etexhorn13

[Thatguy 8686]

On 4/4/2023 at 9:04 AM, Wulaw Horn said:

Some girls never do this. And she is otherwise a great kid.  Most girls love their dads and always do. Everytime she's shitty to me my 7 year old comes up and gives me a hug and is like- I love you daddy, it will be ok.  I will never be like that.  She can see it and she's 7!  I don't think my experience in being singled out is necessarily how it works for everyone.

What's weird is it's always been this way.  When I held her to feed her she'd scream in my ear and in general freak out.  We had daddy and daughter days all the time and she never was really into them- and I mean from the time she was little little- like a baby. She never liked men.  Now- my other daughter loved me from the word go and was never happier than when I was holding her or we were together and doing stuff. Like night and day.  So, your daughter will be rude and surly I'm sure to the whole world but it's unlikely se will pick you out for special torture. 

  My daughter is 14 rolling around to 15 and is starting to get a little better. It's the reverse at my house. She is shitty to my wife and periodically shitty to me. 12 and 13 were rough, but 14 is calming down. We are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, which is good because I thought my wife was either going to strangle her or jump out the window. 

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

10 minutes ago, Thatguy said:

  My daughter is 14 rolling around to 15 and is starting to get a little better. It's the reverse at my house. She is shitty to my wife and periodically shitty to me. 12 and 13 were rough, but 14 is calming down. We are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, which is good because I thought my wife was either going to strangle her or jump out the window. 

I think yours is much more common than mine. 

[NoName 16351]

On 4/9/2023 at 9:00 AM, Etexhorn13 said:

It is exactly like a little tent that goes over pack n pay, child cot, etc. There are vent flaps you can pull back/tie up, little pouches for a portable fan and stuff like that. The sleeping quarters at my parents place is a little awkward since we’re in a back house with a small separate bedroom, and he’s literally at the foot of our bed and we can walk in and turn on lights and do whatever we need to do and he sleeps straight through it all. Also works great for naptime during the day.

we have a number of friends who rave about them and are kind of in the same situation with parents + not ideal sleeping arrangements.

then again, we just put her in a closet in a pack & play and a fan + sleep machine and she sleeps like she is at home, so we are lucky. either way, we have had our eye on one of these for a long time based on friends feedback. glad to see more positive info out there.

[hornian 5212]

On 4/8/2023 at 5:43 PM, Celery Man said:

I'll take 2, if you're building them. 

[Armybrat 40832]

On 4/4/2023 at 9:14 AM, hookemATL said:

Hopefully its just a very very very long phase

 

PMS can last for 40+ years. 
 

[Nivek 16923]

On 4/9/2023 at 11:11 AM, Wulaw Horn said:

I think yours is much more common than mine. 

Quote

 

At least you might get a laugh.

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

Daughter of two girls. Looks like I am totally fucked when one will be 14 and the other 12. We’ll, I’ll enjoy this age for now then. Good news, oldest likes crawfish (papai, I like to try different foods. It’s the only way to know if I like them). Youngest is picky as hell. Should make the trip to Italy this summer fun. FML.

Can’t wait to take her to the orthodontist and see what needs to be done about this grill (dentist suggested we try to make space now rather than move all the teeth around later).

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

13 minutes ago, Nivek said:

At least you might get a laugh.

That was absolutely perfect.

[hookem2010 2624]

10 month-old boy seems to have hit a developmental spurt after being just a bit behind. 2 months ago, he was barely sitting and definitely not babbling. Now, he's pulling himself up to standing in his playpen and crib, and since he started babbling yesterday, it's his new favorite thing. I'm not sure how I had a hand in creating this handsome devil.

[Celery Man 20934]

wife saying she's ready to go for #2

wife getting pregnant immediately

 

sometimes I'm surprised by how effective my brain can be at helping me out. i've been jonesing for a p90 guitar forever, this bonus round I was looking at a medium expensive one and thought "ah fuck it she's going to get pregnant and I won't end up spending anything on myself for another 2 years, get the expensive one". Boom.

I know it's lucky to get pregnant quick, or it's a blessing and there are people here who struggle with fertility - our first one was a struggle. It is a blessing. But I was excited for a few months of getting jumped.

[South Austin 52463]

On 4/15/2023 at 7:50 AM, Celery Man said:

I know it's lucky to get pregnant quick, or it's a blessing and there are people here who struggle with fertility - our first one was a struggle. It is a blessing. But I was excited for a few months of getting jumped.

It took me and my former wife a long time to get pregnant with No. 2, and we got close to having a serious conversation about adoption. In theory, all the sex sounds great, and in the beginning it was. But it got to the point of being mechanical. She put so much pressure on herself to get pregnant that the sex almost was detached. Fortunately, after we were done having kids and got back into a sexual groove, it was so much better without having to try to knock her up.

[YGIFS 19450]

Yeah, we had a weird juxtaposition....we tried four times to get pregnant after goalie was pulled.  and all four times, either in the first month or second month...we got pregnant each time right away.  We lost two, but have two now.  She is still incredibly fertile at her age, and even with an IUD, we still have to be careful when she's ovulating since we're way too fucking old to have a baby.  Plus she'd likely miscarry and then have to become a felon in the State of Texas /noCR

In other dad news, my oldest is going through a bummed out phase where she doesn't want to do anything athletic/sports-wise or with friends.  I don't know what's causing the rut but she finally took to swimming and tennis but all of a sudden doesn't want to do shit.  She's quitting gymnastics as well.  Trying to think of something we can still get her into for this summer (she's turning 8 this week).  Obviously, pushing/forcing her isn't gonna help.  But I can't just hang back and let her be on screens all spring/summer.  It was one thing during Covid19, but this is not great Bob.

[atomheartbevo 89651]

2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Trying to think of something we can still get her into for this summer (she's turning 8 this week).  Obviously, pushing/forcing her isn't gonna help.  But I can't just hang back and let her be on screens all spring/summer. 

Join the YMCA for the summer, they have a ton of summer camps for kids, usually one or two weeks long, from STEM stuff to Harry Potter, etc., and just put her in a bunch of different camps - one of them will strike her fancy.

[NoName 16351]

On 4/15/2023 at 7:50 AM, Celery Man said:

wife saying she's ready to go for #2

wife getting pregnant immediately

 

sometimes I'm surprised by how effective my brain can be at helping me out. i've been jonesing for a p90 guitar forever, this bonus round I was looking at a medium expensive one and thought "ah fuck it she's going to get pregnant and I won't end up spending anything on myself for another 2 years, get the expensive one". Boom.

I know it's lucky to get pregnant quick, or it's a blessing and there are people here who struggle with fertility - our first one was a struggle. It is a blessing. But I was excited for a few months of getting jumped.

 

2 hours ago, South Austin said:

It took me and my former wife a long time to get pregnant with No. 2, and we got close to having a serious conversation about adoption. In theory, all the sex sounds great, and in the beginning it was. But it got to the point of being mechanical. She put so much pressure on herself to get pregnant that the sex almost was detached. Fortunately, after we were done having kids and got back into a sexual groove, it was so much better without having to try to knock her up.

Dude welcome to the club.

First time took a long time, literally 12+ months of trying.

First month we try for #2, bam...pregnant. Like 10 seconds into test it's more clear than it ever was with #1.

Now we're gonna have two ~18 months apart once #2 is born lol

Also, I too will never financially recover from this

Edited April 16, 2023 by NoName

[South Austin 52463]

20 minutes ago, NoName said:

Also, I too will never financially recover from this

Eh, you’re not really recovering from anything. If you want kids, the financial burden should be expected, not like a job termination or an uninsured medical issue.

And kid expenses aren’t shit until college tuition kicks in. That’s when you can freak the fuck out.

[NoName 16351]

19 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Eh, you’re not really recovering from anything. If you want kids, the financial burden should be expected, not like a job termination or an uninsured medical issue.

And kid expenses aren’t shit until college tuition kicks in. That’s when you can freak the fuck out.

Im joking, sorry. Couldn't be more excited! Just expensive which is what it is and yes is expected.

[South Austin 52463]

13 minutes ago, NoName said:

Im joking, sorry. Couldn't be more excited! Just expensive which is what it is and yes is expected.

It’s all good. It’s funny when you look back on it all. It seems so daunting and exhausting when you’re in that particular moment and stage of parenthood, but when you get some distance and reflect a few years later, you think, “Well that shit was easy. This shit is hard!”

[Celery Man 20934]

I was getting a little worried about waiting longer because I’m getting old. Rory is about to turn 2, so if little babykins makes it they’ll be just under 2 years apart, I’m pretty happy with that timing. I can just catch a glimmer of Rory being independent enough that it’s not as impossible as two under two.

 

I need a raise though. Just a nice raise that I can start another 529 with. I’m super fucking stoked a bought a Les Paul 3 weeks ago because I don’t think I’d buy it today.

[hookem2010 2624]

We're working on #2 now. Should know in a couple days if we made it happen the first month of trying. The first kid was very much a happy accident.

[CleverNickname 1308]

On 4/3/2023 at 10:07 PM, Wulaw Horn said:

12 year old female. Brutal. 

13 year old girl. We have android phones AND she wasn't able to sit at her preferred lunch table 3x this week. Pray for us.

[52-80 19150]

On 4/9/2023 at 6:39 AM, Etexhorn13 said:

My son is 18 months old so I know yours is a little older, but we took him to the children’s museum in Houston and he loved the pegs

Now this is a story i've heard before.

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

Getting to have lots of sex for a long time while trying to get pregnant is one of those things that sounds good on the surface, but trust me the last thing you want is to deal with a woman who hasn't been able to get knocked up again for a whole year. That kind of stuff really messes with a woman's head and can make her an emotional wreck.

[YGIFS 19450]

25 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Getting to have lots of sex for a long time while trying to get pregnant is one of those things that sounds good on the surface, but trust me the last thing you want is to deal with a woman who hasn't been able to get knocked up again for a whole year. That kind of stuff really messes with a woman's head and can make her an emotional wreck.

Yeah, this.  We didn't have much trouble getting pregnant but between our first and second miscarriage, the D&C procedure caused some tissue damage.  We were told not to try and conceive during a very lengthy period of time (I think it was like 6-9 months).  But that sex itself was fine after a few weeks.  We were both in a sad place, knew we couldn't try to get pregnant, so there we were in our late 30's, having this condom sex basically just to keep our marriage on life support so we could try again for natural procreation down the road.  It was pretty shitty.  Then we get pregnant again awhile later and lose that baby in month 4.  Then there was zero sex for awhile.  A long while.  I never once blamed her.  I don't know how some men can do that.  The mother-to-be beat themselves up plenty.  They don't need our "I want an heir" bullshit on top of that.  And then the tired cliche that everybody and their mom tells you, "When you quit stressing out about it, it'll just happen naturally.  All part of God's plan."  Easy for you to fucking say, you're not pushing 40 with photos of two separate fetal sonograms and both of them gone.  

And then one day, she just gets out of the shower and tells you she's ready to defy the odds.  And a few weeks later, she shows you a stick with two lines on it.  And you're hesitant to be hopeful, very hesitant.  But as our OBGYN once told us, you're getting old on a very bumpy road; and all I can offer is nature gives you a new moon 13 times a year.  

It's a tough battle because it can be so private.  There's no 5k or gofundme for infertility like there is for someone battling cancer or diabetes.  It's just a couple crying together in the dark wondering why things aren't working and their family politely, but impolitely, inquiring when they're gonna settle down and start a family as if that's not the all-consuming thought of their every day.  

But for those of you quietly struggling with starting a family and/or have lost a baby before term.  There's nothing any of us dads can say.  Just know you are not alone, your journey is not solitary, we are socially designed to not talk about it or seek help, but you don't need a small army of kids to run your farm with you.  You just need that one moment of good fortune.  Be the spark for her that you're both seeking from the universe.

[NoName 16351]

11 hours ago, YGIFS said:

It's a tough battle because it can be so private.  There's no 5k or gofundme for infertility like there is for someone battling cancer or diabetes.  It's just a couple crying together in the dark wondering why things aren't working and their family politely, but impolitely, inquiring when they're gonna settle down and start a family as if that's not the all-consuming thought of their every day.  

But for those of you quietly struggling with starting a family and/or have lost a baby before term.  There's nothing any of us dads can say.  Just know you are not alone, your journey is not solitary, we are socially designed to not talk about it or seek help, but you don't need a small army of kids to run your farm with you.  You just need that one moment of good fortune.  Be the spark for her that you're both seeking from the universe.

amen to all of this. especially the last part. thank you for sharing and posting this.

[Nivek 16923]

12 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Getting to have lots of sex for a long time while trying to get pregnant is one of those things that sounds good on the surface, but trust me the last thing you want is to deal with a woman who hasn't been able to get knocked up again for a whole year. That kind of stuff really messes with a woman's head and can make her an emotional wreck.

Being rich is one of those things that sounds good on the surface, but trust me, the last thing you want to deal with are poor family members and friends who are no longer able to keep up.  That kind of stuff really messes with your wife's head and she can become an emotional wreck.  

 

[atomheartbevo 89651]

[Celery Man 20934]

12 hours ago, YGIFS said:

 

But for those of you quietly struggling with starting a family and/or have lost a baby before term.  There's nothing any of us dads can say.  Just know you are not alone, your journey is not solitary, we are socially designed to not talk about it or seek help, but you don't need a small army of kids to run your farm with you.  You just need that one moment of good fortune.  Be the spark for her that you're both seeking from the universe.

yeah, like noname said, thank you for calling that out. In retrospect, I was probably overestimating how easy it is for everyone else to get pregnant, but we tried for 5 or 6 months before wife got pregnant round 1. I was definitely getting into the mindset that I wasn't going to be able to have kids outside of adoption. And probably that's fairly normal and I know it's not the same thing as people who have gone through expensive in vitro or have had unsuccessful pregnancies, but that's a whole thing and my heart goes out to everyone struggling with that.

16 minutes ago, Nivek said:

Being rich is one of those things that sounds good on the surface, but trust me, the last thing you want to deal with are poor family members and friends who are no longer able to keep up.  That kind of stuff really messes with your wife's head and she can become an emotional wreck.  

 

does your sister have any tips for dealing with that problem? asking for myself.

[Nivek 16923]

1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

yeah, like noname said, thank you for calling that out. In retrospect, I was probably overestimating how easy it is for everyone else to get pregnant, but we tried for 5 or 6 months before wife got pregnant round 1. I was definitely getting into the mindset that I wasn't going to be able to have kids outside of adoption. And probably that's fairly normal and I know it's not the same thing as people who have gone through expensive in vitro or have had unsuccessful pregnancies, but that's a whole thing and my heart goes out to everyone struggling with that.

does your sister have any tips for dealing with that problem? asking for myself.

She cannot afford to talk to me anymore.  Not my fault she has a "job."   I told her to short SVB, Tesla, but she just complained about not knowing what shorting is, having no money to invest, and paycheck to paycheck or something like that.  I stopped paying attention really, poor people are so whiny.

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On 4/14/2023 at 9:30 PM, hookem2010 said:

10 month-old boy seems to have hit a developmental spurt after being just a bit behind. 2 months ago, he was barely sitting and definitely not babbling. Now, he's pulling himself up to standing in his playpen and crib, and since he started babbling yesterday, it's his new favorite thing.

Cute kid. And this period of 2 months was about the most difficult phase for me. Its when the kid is *just* capable of dragging himself to danger, like sharp corners, and he seems hellbent on perpetually doing only that and nothing else.  

Short while later when baby starts to walk is a big relief. He explores other areas beyond just the dangerous ones, and seems more far more resilient against bumps and knocks.

So I can sit with a beer and watch him from a distance rather than having to be glued to him like a hawk.