Surly Dad Thread

[hookem2010 2624]

Hahaha, this is absolutely true. He WANTS to fall face-first into everything. He also has expectations for playthings that apparently do not come to fruition, because he will suddenly very upset with his toys. My current favorite game though is tug-of-war with a spoonful of food.

[Celery Man 20962]

doin important dad work

[Fudbelty 2788]

Anyone else’s boy going through the mullet phase? Gotta admit I think it looks sweet and he rocks it.

[Celery Man 20962]

Got a great hour and a half of low oversight backyard sliding before a request of “park?” and now we’re just doing this

[Snake Diggity 4625]

16 hours ago, Celery Man said:

doin important dad work

That’s a badass playscape, yours are luckier than mine.  Mine are couple years older than the little one in your pic.  We have gotten great value out of the simple iron climbing dome and ninja warrior slack line setup; would highly recommend around age 6.

[Jerry Callo 8704]

16 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Got a great hour and a half of low oversight backyard sliding before a request of “park?” and now we’re just doing this

That's nice of her to take you to the park to swing.  Doesn't look like she is watching you very closely, though.

[Celery Man 20962]

6 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

That's nice of her to take you to the park to swing.  Doesn't look like she is watching you very closely, though.

Fucking around on her phone, classic daughter.

 

so I definitely paid a guy to put this together, and do not regret it at all even though it turned into a cluster fuck. KidKraft left out a whole bag of hardware and the kitchen pieces, which was only discovered once we did inventory, and that took weeks of them piecemeal sending shit and then eventually sending every single piece of hardware 2 more times. So, a few weeks there, and then it was raining here for weeks which fucked everything up, and then he messed up the second floor and had to get a buddy out to help him fix it. I was getting nervous he was going to bail but he got it done, thank God. No telling how many ways I would have fucked this thing up, not to mention what I’d do to my back.

Edited May 18, 2023 by Celery Man

[Jerry Callo 8704]

Fucking around on her phone, classic daughter.
 
so I definitely paid a guy to put this together, and do not regret it at all even though it turned into a cluster fuck. KidKraft left out a whole bag of hardware and the kitchen pieces, which was only discovered once we did inventory, and that took weeks of them piecemeal sending shit and then eventually sending every single piece of hardware 2 more times. So, a few weeks there, and then it was raining here for weeks which fucked everything up, and then he messed up the second floor and had to get a buddy out to help him fix it. I was getting nervous he was going to bail but he got it done, thank God. No telling how many ways I would have fucked this thing up, not to mention what I’d do to my back.

My wife and I put one together. It took 36 man hours - only a couple of times did we have to undo something for failure to follow the directions

[scottsins 1966]

Hi guys!

Just posting from our hospital room. Not even sure what day it is, but I’m all up in this thread now, after the arrival of my first and last born spawn at the spry age of 49.

Do I get an oldest dad award or anything?

[YGIFS 19450]

Congrats.  Cool name.  Hope mom and baby are well.  You on the other hand are screwed.  

[52-80 19162]

my little bean fell into a nap like this

its the greatest

[scottsins 1966]

Congrats.  Cool name.  Hope mom and baby are well.  You on the other hand are screwed.  

It’s been an ordeal. I plan on longcattimg a synopsis when I have the energy.

My wife transformed into some sort of super driven confident beast in the stirrups and it was awesome. She got zero stretch marks, a fact which I advised her to keep to herself when speaking with other moms, to avoid our house getting fire-bombed.

[mdmost 43004]

9 hours ago, scottsins said:

It’s been an ordeal. I plan on longcattimg a synopsis when I have the energy.

My wife transformed into some sort of super driven confident beast in the stirrups and it was awesome. She got zero stretch marks, a fact which I advised her to keep to herself when speaking with other moms, to avoid our house getting fire-bombed.

Congrats on your newborn and mad props to your wife.

Our first took 27 hours from the start of contractions to out into the world. Wife took no drugs and just did breathing exercises and some hypnotherapy to make it through. It was like watching a marathon runner up close. That baby is now getting her learner's permit this Tuesday. 2nd almost fell out in the car and took maybe 2.5 hours total from the start of contractions. 

Edited June 2, 2023 by mdmost

[Post Oak 20231]

My boy is doing a football camp this week.  He's going into 2nd grade and apparently he's picking up some stuff from the other kids.

I was getting breakfast ready this AM with him, mom and daughter.

He's asking mom to say what he's spelling.

D E Z N U T S.

Mom is saying deznuts are you sure your spelling that right.

Then it dawns on me.  Oh NO NO NO NO.  COME HERE.

I snatch him before she ends his young life and we have a talk.  

I tell him don't ever talk like that around her and just as importantly it's Deez Nuts.

Crisis adverted.

He's got no clue what it means. He just heard it.  

[YGIFS 19450]

So do this mean you’re not taking to Wendy’s after practice?

[orange dream 1254]

Congrats to @scottsins

You're in for the ride of your life.

We had our 3rd when I was 42 (10 years ago) and I am worn out but having a blast doing little league again.  Is your wife a bit younger?

Enjoy!!

 

[Celery Man 20962]

there's gonna be a lot of Cars, a lot of Luca

edit: shit coulda sworn one of the main guys in Luca was an "Enzo".  Congrats, start incorporating back strengthening exercises into your routine and make sure you have enough bottles of ibuprofen

Edited June 2, 2023 by Celery Man

[scottsins 1966]

Congrats to [mention=279]scottsins[/mention]
You're in for the ride of your life.
We had our 3rd when I was 42 (10 years ago) and I am worn out but having a blast doing little league again.  Is your wife a bit younger?
Enjoy!!
 

She is 42. We did fertility treatments…didn’t work. Then had a surprise pregnancy in 2020, a couple of weeks after my best friend, Gus (Brazilian Mastiff) was diagnosed with cancer. A few weeks later he coriander the rainbow bridge and one week later…miscarriage.

That whole ordeal had one positive which was that it made us realize how much we really did want a baby. We had gone years without addressing the topic after the frustration with the failed IUI, etc.

We then began IVF. 2 egg retrievals produced no viable embryos. Extra fun was that the second failed attempt was the Monday beginning snowmageddon in February 2021.

Anyhow a while after that whole miserable time span, we gave up, stopped “trying” and got set up for a private adoption. About a year later, our home study was approved.

3 days after that great news, which was a MOTHERFUCKER of a process, my wife tested hot for baby on board…

So here we are!

[YGIFS 19450]

Man, that's a tough road for y'all to endure.  But great outcome.  Wife had our second when she was 42.  We had all kinds of setbacks and heartbreaks.  I've posted it before but infertility/miscarriages are still hard to talk about for our culture and I just don't know why.  Like we do 5k's every year for my mom's cancer that she had twice, but she also smoked a pack a day for 50 years.  But couples struggling with getting pregnant or losing pregnancies, we just didn't talk about it even though they did everything right.  There was no gofundme for what we went through just crying together in the dark for multiple years.  And then one day, she shows you a stick with two lines on it and it's not Covid-19, but rather little baby Enzo.  

Also put your fucking phone down and practice swaddling.  It's not as easy as it looks.  

[scottsins 1966]

Man, that's a tough road for y'all to endure.  But great outcome.  Wife had our second when she was 42.  We had all kinds of setbacks and heartbreaks.  I've posted it before but infertility/miscarriages are still hard to talk about for our culture and I just don't know why.  Like we do 5k's every year for my mom's cancer that she had twice, but she also smoked a pack a day for 50 years.  But couples struggling with getting pregnant or losing pregnancies, we just didn't talk about it even though they did everything right.  There was no gofundme for what we went through just crying together in the dark for multiple years.  And then one day, she shows you a stick with two lines on it and it's not Covid-19, but rather little baby Enzo.  
Also put your fucking phone down and practice swaddling.  It's not as easy as it looks.  

For some reason I am the master of all things swaddle. My wife won’t even do it. It’s one of my designated “things”. I think she sucks at it because she is afraid of wrapping too tight.

[Anastasis 23474]

49 minutes ago, scottsins said:

For some reason I am the master of all things swaddle. My wife won’t even do it. It’s one of my designated “things”. I think she sucks at it because she is afraid of wrapping too tight.

Absolutely use to love rolling that tight swaddle. 
 

Shit flies fast sins. I use to blow people off when they said shit like “enjoy every minute at this age”.  Yeah. Great. I got it. Look I am just trying to keep this shit going off the rails at the moment, swimming in a sea of shitty diapers and sleep deprivation. But looking back now I wish I would have done better to soak it in. Oldest going off to high school now and the boys are right behind. Seems like a blink of the eye and it’s gone. 

[JesusSweatDuck 17781]

On 4/16/2023 at 9:31 AM, YGIFS said:

Yeah, we had a weird juxtaposition....we tried four times to get pregnant after goalie was pulled.  and all four times, either in the first month or second month...we got pregnant each time right away.  We lost two, but have two now.  She is still incredibly fertile at her age, and even with an IUD, we still have to be careful when she's ovulating since we're way too fucking old to have a baby.  Plus she'd likely miscarry and then have to become a felon in the State of Texas /noCR

In other dad news, my oldest is going through a bummed out phase where she doesn't want to do anything athletic/sports-wise or with friends.  I don't know what's causing the rut but she finally took to swimming and tennis but all of a sudden doesn't want to do shit.  She's quitting gymnastics as well.  Trying to think of something we can still get her into for this summer (she's turning 8 this week).  Obviously, pushing/forcing her isn't gonna help.  But I can't just hang back and let her be on screens all spring/summer.  It was one thing during Covid19, but this is not great Bob.

Just catching up with this thread. How's your daughter doing? Did she find her way out of the rut? It's so hard seeing your kids struggle and as a dad you always want to fix it. It's impossibly hard when you can't 

[Anastasis 23474]

Oh and maybe up that term life insurance policy before you hit the five oh. 

[JesusSweatDuck 17781]

58 minutes ago, scottsins said:

For some reason I am the master of all things swaddle. My wife won’t even do it. It’s one of my designated “things”. I think she sucks at it because she is afraid of wrapping too tight.

This was my job too. I also would wake up with the babies for feedings, do the middle of the night diaper changes and hand the baby off to mom for the stuff I wasn't equipped to handle. 

Weirdly I miss those nights 

[YGIFS 19450]

33 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Just catching up with this thread. How's your daughter doing? Did she find her way out of the rut? It's so hard seeing your kids struggle and as a dad you always want to fix it. It's impossibly hard when you can't 

Funny you should mention that, she's actually practicing for her tryout tomorrow to graduate up to the next level of gymnastics class.  Super proud of her.  She's been doing better overall, thanks.  She just ebbs and flows from ruts to highs.  I suppose all kids do.  But we have really fun shit to do this summer and she's been getting better with her younger sister.  My wife actually is the one who tries to fix her more than me.  I am constantly haunted by that line from "slingblade"...my child lives alone in her heart and that's an awfully big place to live.  She has the curse of my father and of me, we are not special but we are different.  I didn't know it until I was much older.  But she's had to live with way too early on.  She can see what others cannot see, so she has the burden of having to know what others cannot know. 

But I had a recurring dream when we had our three years of struggle and loss starting a family.  I was sitting at the kitchen table with a young daughter.  Not a son (sorry grandpa, our bloodline is done unless one of 'em finds a husband who is cool with giving a grandson our last name instead of his).  But a bright eyed girl, and we're having cereal and exchanging jokes that only she and I get.  The other sibling and mom look in with confusion, but we see each other through our sarcasm and cheerios.  And now she's here.  And she's 8.  And I'm doing a decent job.  

They're all unique.  They're all special.  They're all miracles.  All 70 billion of 'em that have ever been born.  But, humblebrag aside, modern fatherhood is a completely new and different animal.  You are all in the 1% of our species existence that doesn't spend all day hunting, gathering, fighting, or farming.  You are engaged and enlightened and involved.  We're not better or worse, we just happened upon a time of massive upending of fatherhood.  99% of biological progenitors never spent this much time with their children, especially their daughters.  All that to say, we have no fucking idea what we're doing.  But just being there is kinda fun sometimes, no?  

[Goofyboy 3293]

This was my job too. I also would wake up with the babies for feedings, do the middle of the night diaper changes and hand the baby off to mom for the stuff I wasn't equipped to handle. 
Weirdly I miss those nights 

I was also the over night parent. I could sorta half awake coast and get back to sleep. The wife would be awake for a couple of hours. Just made sense for me to handle it. I loved it. Just me and my son and overnight message boards.

I still handle over night things. Nightmares, sickness, etc - falls to me. It’ll be gone one day.

[YGIFS 19450]

Yeah, I happily did that stuff.  Well, maybe not happily.  But it was a unique bond because the little ones can't say anything back and after they're done crying, or burping, or shitting, they gaze into your eyes with the hope that you both can exchange the mysteries of the universe without moving your lips.  They remember where they came from and what they are here to do, but they can't express it with words as is the way of the Universe.  And it's midnight and all your dumbass can do is sing Johnny Cash lyrics to 'em in hushed tones.  And they doze off.  And so do you.  And the mom wakes up to find your dumb ass left the wet bottle on the table without a coaster.  But she doesn't say anything because you and the little one are breathing in unison.  

All parenting advice is bullshit, just people trying to atone for their fuckups.  Human nature, nothing wrong with that.  But on latenight duty and far beyond, remember this---one day you will pick up your child for the last time.  And as a cruel twist of fate, not only will you not know it's the last time, you'll never remember it afterwards either.

That said-I don't know how some of fucking lunatics have like 5 or 6 of these things.  Fucking psychos.  

[Goofyboy 3293]

Summer soccer training has started.

[Armybrat 40850]

Mrs. Brat is now officially shorter than our youngest grandson who just turned 13 today.

 

[YGIFS 19450]

Funny you should post that, and congrats to the grandson.  Mom was here a few weeks ago for our oldest's first communion.  She is just a couple inches shorter than grandma now and grandma told her, "I hope you're taller than me when I see you at Christmas."  It was sweet 'cause it means Grandma wants to keep living and come back to see her granddaughters.  Her lone grandson, my nephew, passed her by years ago.  and I showed her the closet doorframe where we mark their height every start of school and every birthday.  And my oldest asked me why I do that with both girls.  And I said so one day I can pry it off and save it.  But they don't know that I sit and stare at it somedays and remember those days in my head when they were that little trying to stretch themselves out to be taller.  And other days they didn't want to do it because mommy and daddy asked and they wanted to be contrarian.  And my mom, their grandma, just smiled and hoped again to be there when they both passed her up in height.  And so goes this rock.  Around and around.  Higher and higher.  What the hell else is there to do?  

[JesusSweatDuck 17781]

Posting about the night time dad duty made me nostalgic about those snuggles from your little ones.  Somehow my daughter (15) must have sensed it, as she came downstairs and sat right next to me and put her legs up on me. This happens less and less but each time it means more and more. I'm going to miss it when it is gone forever.

[Celery Man 20962]

 

🤘👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 🤘

[Jerry Callo 8704]

Congrats!

[Celery Man 20962]

I guess that’s probably a little cryptic - genetic testing came back and itsaboy. I was ready to just be a girl dad but I’m happy and having one of each is what i would have chosen.

Honestly Rory is so goddamn cute I was already flashing forward to the golden child older sister and the awkward younger sibling teenage situation. Now I’m just doing shadow boxing with a diaper, prepping for a new changing station challenge.

#drama

[NoName 16353]

1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

I guess that’s probably a little cryptic - genetic testing came back and itsaboy. I was ready to just be a girl dad but I’m happy and having one of each is what i would have chosen.

Honestly Rory is so goddamn cute I was already flashing forward to the golden child older sister and the awkward younger sibling teenage situation. Now I’m just doing shadow boxing with a diaper, prepping for a new changing station challenge.

#drama

Exact same here w second one being a boy. Was totally and completely ready for second to be a girl and excited about it then...nope.

Can't wait! Congratulations man 

[hookem2010 2624]

Our little guy celebrated his 1st birthday with a temperature of 103 and an inability to hold down solids. His belated celebration was getting a bunch of vaccines after recovering. Maybe that's why he can't stand being held, nor put down for even a moment this week. So that's been fun. Also, he has decided to save popping out any teeth until his 2nd year of life.

[Snake Diggity 4625]

I was out of town this past weekend.  I intentionally don’t take much time away from my family, maybe 4-6 days (2-3 weekends) each year since my 7 year old was born, so my girls are not used to me being gone.

On Monday when I walked into daycare/summer camp to pick them up, my 4 year old was for some reason not expecting me (even though I told them before I left that I would pick them up on Monday), and reacted as if I was a military homecoming surprise after an 18 month deployment.  Screaming “DADDY!!!”  and pushing kids out of the way and shit as she sprinted across the room to jump into my arms, then holding my face in her hands and smothering me with kisses.

Being a parent often sucks, the stressburger that comes with it tastes like shit.  But those moments bring emotional highs that I just can’t believe you can get anywhere else.

[tbone_ 14127]

There’s a reason you really like your kids.

[pacman 7357]

On 6/2/2023 at 4:40 PM, scottsins said:

She is 42. We did fertility treatments…didn’t work. Then had a surprise pregnancy in 2020, a couple of weeks after my best friend, Gus (Brazilian Mastiff) was diagnosed with cancer. A few weeks later he coriander the rainbow bridge and one week later…miscarriage.

That whole ordeal had one positive which was that it made us realize how much we really did want a baby. We had gone years without addressing the topic after the frustration with the failed IUI, etc.

We then began IVF. 2 egg retrievals produced no viable embryos. Extra fun was that the second failed attempt was the Monday beginning snowmageddon in February 2021.

Anyhow a while after that whole miserable time span, we gave up, stopped “trying” and got set up for a private adoption. About a year later, our home study was approved.

3 days after that great news, which was a MOTHERFUCKER of a process, my wife tested hot for baby on board…

So here we are!

Congratulations. Happy for you both, looking forward to many updates on this thread.

[JesusSweatDuck 17781]

Happy father's day fellow degenerates. Hope it's a great one 

[South Austin 52515]

Father’s Day gift from my fiancé, a woman who loves and knows me.

[JesusSweatDuck 17781]

1 minute ago, South Austin said:

Father’s Day gift from my fiancé, a woman who loves and knows me.

Love it. RIP

[mdmost 43004]

One of the best father daughter activities we’ve ever done. I hope going to ballparks in foreign destinations can be our thing as she grows up. She’s such a wonderful kid. She makes all the hard times so worth it. Her older sister is okay. She’s the A-type. Younger is more like me which is probably why we gel better. 
 

Happy Father’s Day to all you fine gents. Happy Father’s Day up in Heaven, dad

 

[South Austin 52515]

5 minutes ago, mdmost said:

One of the best father daughter activities we’ve ever done. I hope going to ballparks in foreign destinations can be our thing as she grows up. She’s such a wonderful kid. She makes all the hard times so worth it. Her older sister is okay. She’s the A-type. Younger is more like me which is probably why we gel better. 
 

Happy Father’s Day to all you fine gents. Happy Father’s Day up in Heaven, dad

 

Nice. Taking my kids to Wrigley on July 2. 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Happy Father’s Day fellow kings.


Wouldn’t be a Father’s Day without a 4AM wake up call because my 5YO wet the bed for the first time in like 2 months.

[Laxtonto 12086]

Happy fathers day gents!

[Davis Lane 5586]

Happy motherfucker's day, motherfuckers!

[nnm 36417]

[Celery Man 20962]

52 minutes ago, Davis Lane said:

Happy motherfucker's day, motherfuckers!

[YGIFS 19450]

2 hours ago, mdmost said:

One of the best father daughter activities we’ve ever done. I hope going to ballparks in foreign destinations can be our thing as she grows up. She’s such a wonderful kid. She makes all the hard times so worth it. Her older sister is okay. She’s the A-type. Younger is more like me which is probably why we gel better. 
 

Happy Father’s Day to all you fine gents. Happy Father’s Day up in Heaven, dad

 

I was just talking to a friend about how much I'm looking forward to taking my daughter to Wrigley with me one day.  It was where many of my handful of happy childhood memories with my father took place.  Hopefully next year's Father's Day, and no funerals involved.  I cannot look at that place even in photos and video and not start to weep.  If God the Father's Church is our parish, then my Father and I's Church was Wrigley Field.  She looks happy, keep it up.  

Happy Father's Day you assclowns.  We are totally and completely screwing it up.  But let's keep trying.  They're worth it.  (but seriously, I have no idea what I'm doing)