Surly Dad Thread

[pacman 7355]

The daughter started her first job as RN yesterday. She still won't give me my credit card back.

A few weeks back, I got to put together furniture, hang curtains, connect shit and lift/move heavy shit around the new apartment for her and her roommate. We did it all together.

That felt good, to be needed again.

It wasn't quite "catch me on the slide", like the old days.

The relationship evolves. She's more of a peer now. She needs you in a different way. But it still boils down to giving love, affirmation and support.

She just doesn't fit in my arms any more.

 

[Armybrat 40846]

On 8/10/2024 at 5:34 PM, Brisketexan said:

In London, visiting the daughter for the first time since she moved here. She’s got a job now (starts in a week). She’s grown up a whole lot. Living in a big-ass city like this has tested her. She doesn’t love the city, but she knows that about herself now. And, she’d figured out how to handle it.

We spent the day up in her hood, Hackney. Has a real Brooklyn feel to it, lots of immigrants too.

I’m really, really fucking proud of her.

My Brit friend, a life-long blue collar Londoner, read your post with interest. 
He admires her grit, but commented to me about location:

Quote

Hackney is not the nicest of neighbourhoods and so I hope she is careful, I would not want my daughter out at night there

Edited to add: Am not trying to be a downer, just thought a word of caution wouldn’t hurt since we know our young’uns feel invulnerable.

Edited August 14 by Armybrat

[mdmost 43001]

On 8/13/2024 at 10:55 PM, YGIFS said:

For those of us with primary school kids, most of Texas starts school tomorrow.  Godspeed, gents.  We’re gonna need it.  

Godspeed, YGIFS. RIP, brother. 

[hookem2010 2624]

We're about a month away from the due date for #2. The wife has already had some legit contractions here and there, so not sure we're making it to 40 weeks. 

The 2 year-old is getting much more fun, but the toddler obstinance is really shining through at times. Some of his favorite phrases currently are...

"No, Dada. Get back!"

"Let go!"

"Go away, Dada!"

...and "Mine!"

 

[hornian 5219]

20 hours ago, hookem2010 said:

We're about a month away from the due date for #2. The wife has already had some legit contractions here and there, so not sure we're making it to 40 weeks. 

The 2 year-old is getting much more fun, but the toddler obstinance is really shining through at times. Some of his favorite phrases currently are...

"No, Dada. Get back!"

"Let go!"

"Go away, Dada!"

...and "Mine!"

 

It gets worse!

And then better. 

But first, it gets worse. 

Hang in there!

[NorthLoop 14204]

1 hour ago, hornian said:

It gets worse!

And then better. 

But first, it gets worse. 

Hang in there!

I remember thinking "man I can't wait until he's xxx age so he grows out of this bullshit." .. then he gets a little older, and you miss the old bullshit. Meanwhile every age comes with new and improved bullshit. 

[Brisketexan 105139]

On 8/14/2024 at 1:30 PM, Armybrat said:

My Brit friend, a life-long blue collar Londoner, read your post with interest. 
He admires her grit, but commented to me about location:

Edited to add: Am not trying to be a downer, just thought a word of caution wouldn’t hurt since we know our young’uns feel invulnerable.

Yeah....that's the hood's reputation, which was earned over decades.  It has, ummm....turned.  There's still some leftover "element" there, but for a lot of Brits, when they say "not the nicest neighborhood," they mean "there's immigrants there."  And there are - her corner shops are heavily African, and when she realized she was out of toothpaste and ran round the corner to grap a tube, she got a tube of Crest with the label in arabic.  But....when we walked from our bus stop to a cafe near her house, we walked past flats with Audis and Porsches parked out front.  That hood is gentrifying like a mofo.  She's as "safe" out at night there as she is in most other parts of London: it's a big city, and you need to be aware of surroundings and such, but all-in-all, Hackney is pretty middle of the road from both her and our experience and observation.

Here's the scene at Hackney Wick -- pretty hipster-y:

 

[Celery Man 20950]

On 9/2/2024 at 3:18 PM, hookem2010 said:

We're about a month away from the due date for #2. The wife has already had some legit contractions here and there, so not sure we're making it to 40 weeks. 

The 2 year-old is getting much more fun, but the toddler obstinance is really shining through at times. Some of his favorite phrases currently are...

"No, Dada. Get back!"

"Let go!"

"Go away, Dada!"

...and "Mine!"

 

me silently to myself at the three year old as I try and stop the baby from crying

 

yeah get ready for your shit to change sooner than later. I don't mean in the "it's so much harder with 2" way, I just mean in the "don't count on having all of those days before your shit gets fucked up" way. baby comin.

[High Plains Drifter 11049]

 

Freshman daughter made the Varsity Cross Country team. Very proud dad over here. 

[BurntOrange&White 39933]

He has gone from 6.3 lbs when born to 11 lbs at his 2 month appt Tuesday. So much growth so fast!

 

 

From the first game of the season.

Edited September 5 by BurntOrange&White

[hookem2010 2624]

My 2nd is due to arrive a week before OU. The first OU game after my first son was born was 49-0, so I'm expecting big things. Will I be coherent enough from lack of sleep to follow the game? That remains to be seen.

[pacman 7355]

4 hours ago, hookem2010 said:

My 2nd is due to arrive a week before OU. The first OU game after my first son was born was 49-0, so I'm expecting big things. Will I be coherent enough from lack of sleep to follow the game? That remains to be seen.

So are we! One kid from you every year until the well dries up...

[theaveragejon 988]

Ten weeks to go. 

[NoName 16352]

Every time I see this thread get a new comment it just makes me more sad for the loss of Lobo and what his family is going through

[wild_turkey 3159]

Quit acting like you don't own a pair of overalls and a red hat.  You can easily find both at a thrift store in the next couple hours.  Mustache would be easier at Halloween time.  But I'm guessing you could still find one at a craft store or toy store.  Workboots or cowboy boots.  I'm sure IRL you own a red shirt for Christmas or something, or again---get one at the thrift shop for $3.  White gloves can be bought anywhere, even a hardware store will have 'em in white.  The hat's gonna be tricky.  Not sure where you can that style that he wears, but I think a red ballcap would suffice.  
I've loved the Daddy-Daughter dances I've taken my oldest to, she just glows with excitement.  Next year, I get to take them both as the little one enters elementary school.  Enjoy it, because we'll blink and they're off to a prom dance while we sit home trying not to freak out in front of the wife and abstain from chugging a bottle of bourbon.  

Haven’t read this thread in a few months but…fuck. This is gonna happen for a long time.

[Jerry Callo 8703]

Ten weeks to go. 

Don't be surprised if the wife decides to repaint that room before the baby comes - even a day before the baby comes.  We painted the whole baby's room green before she decided it was the wrong color green.  The only acceptable response from expecting dad - whatever you want.

We completely painted the room twice during her last week of pregnancy.

[High Plains Drifter 11049]

21 hours ago, theaveragejon said:

Ten weeks to go. 

 

That dog has no idea what's coming. 

 

[South Austin 52505]

23 hours ago, theaveragejon said:

Ten weeks to go. 

Not even a mattress in that crib? Shitty Dad thread is that way.

[atomheartbevo 89668]

My middle-schooler was home sick last Friday (with the 'rona), but he had his school laptop and was doing something for his friends.  He mentioned having to add a GIF to a Google Slide, and he pronounced it like "Gift" and not like the creator prefers, which is "Jiff" (like the peanut butter).

I asked him if I heard correctly, that he said it like "gift" and he said he did, and I asked what his friends called those images, and he said "gifs" like "gifts".

I told him the creator prefers the pronunciation to be like "Jiff" and he said that sounded stupid.

[Jive Turkey 12598]

Baby boy was born on Thursday.  8 lb, 10 oz.  We now have a 19 month old and a 2 day old.

Any advice or words of encouragement for those who had 2 under 2?  Oh yeah, I’m in my early 50s.  This is gonna make me try to stay young to keep up with them.  Thankfully the wife is in her mid 30s so she still has that youthful vigor.  

[Jkwellborn 6702]

Baby boy was born on Thursday.  8 lb, 10 oz.  We now have a 19 month old and a 2 day old.
Any advice or words of encouragement for those who had 2 under 2?  Oh yeah, I’m in my early 50s.  This is gonna make me try to stay young to keep up with them.  Thankfully the wife is in her mid 30s so she still has that youthful vigor.  

Advice? Go get some milk.

[Dish Boggett 67]

1 hour ago, Jive Turkey said:

Baby boy was born on Thursday.  8 lb, 10 oz.  We now have a 19 month old and a 2 day old.

Any advice or words of encouragement for those who had 2 under 2?  Oh yeah, I’m in my early 50s.  This is gonna make me try to stay young to keep up with them.  Thankfully the wife is in her mid 30s so she still has that youthful vigor.  

Yes,  higher help… a lot of it.  We had 3 under 2 and we hemorrhaged money on nanny/sitters for  the first year and half or so.
‘also make sure your wife is getting plenty of alone time, time away from the kids for her mental health. 
 

you will get through it, but it’s tough for a bit   

 

 

[Armybrat 40846]

23 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

Baby boy was born on Thursday.  8 lb, 10 oz.  We now have a 19 month old and a 2 day old.

Any advice or words of encouragement for those who had 2 under 2?  Oh yeah, I’m in my early 50s.  This is gonna make me try to stay young to keep up with them.  Thankfully the wife is in her mid 30s so she still has that youthful vigor.  

 

[Armybrat 40846]

Actually, we had two boys 13 months apart when we were in our mid-20s (plus our oldest boy was born 3+ years earlier). 
Just help your wife as much as you can

[hookem2010 2624]

After having some pre-term labor scares early, now that we're at 38W3D, seems like it's never going to happen. Really nothing to complain about making it well into term, but time is craaaaaawling (says the dad who isn't lugging around an incredibly active baby in their abdomen).

[dcbc 14484]

I got to see my older son for the first time since he started school at UT in late August.  He was coming through town with the ski team on the way to a tournament at ULM.  I got exactly 5 minutes of hug-time before they had to leave, but that was a soul restoring 5 minutes for this old Dad.  We had pulled pork sandwiches and tons of other food-stuffs waiting for the team on their trip home.  Feeding hungry college kids feels good, and they were a great bunch of kids.

Edited September 23 by dcbc

[Jameslaw121 4448]

2 hours ago, dcbc said:

I got to see my older son for the first time since he started school at UT in late August.  He was coming through town with the ski team on the way to a tournament at ULM.  I got exactly 5 minutes of hug-time before they had to leave, but that was a soul restoring 5 minutes for this old Dad.  We had pulled pork sandwiches and tons of other food-stuffs waiting for the team on their trip home.  Feeding hungry college kids feels good, and they were a great bunch of kids.

I wonder if our kids in their 20's will ever know how much even a brief visit to dad is. A couple of weeks ago my 27 yo (who has a kid, so first Grandkid for me) said "You know, I don't see you as often, but I think of you more often than I used to." I think that was pretty accurate for me and my Dad around that age.

 

Also, My 5 yo girl was sitting at the island in the kitchen with her tablet. Mom had her covid/flu shots and passed out. Turned on something about LBJ, and they played the UT Fight Song in one of the scenes. Out of the corner of my eye, she was still watching her tablet but with her hand in the Hook Em Sign. 

Edited September 23 by Jameslaw121

[jimmyjazz 45955]

Wait, we have a ski team?

[dcbc 14484]

21 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

Wait, we have a ski team?

Yes, we do.  Rec. Sports.  Div. 2.  South-central region.

 

It's been a fantastic way for my son to meet people.  No tryouts like in the 90s.  All are welcome to join, learn, and/or compete.  They use a private lake in Taylor called Frame Switch.  Boat and gear provided.  Dues are $350 per semester or $500 for the year.  They raise money to cover travel and hotels, etc.

 

He just went over a ski jump for the first time in last weekend's tournament.  He survived, which was my goal for him.  But it was a yard sale.

 

Snow ski trips in the winter.  Great group of people.  They are super-welcoming of people of all skill-levels.

 

Texas Water Ski Team

Edited September 23 by dcbc

[jimmyjazz 45955]

I'm not gonna encourage my son to try that.  He's never water skiied to my knowledge, but went to Colorado last February and promptly ignored my advice to "please be careful, we really don't need to be footing the bill for surgery this spring".

I'm almost done paying off the ER + surgical bills for his broken collarbone that he sustained on run #1, day #1.

[tbone_ 14123]

I'm not gonna encourage my son to try that.  He's never water skiied to my knowledge, but went to Colorado last February and promptly ignored my advice to "please be careful, we really don't need to be footing the bill for surgery this spring".
I'm almost done paying off the ER + surgical bills for his broken collarbone that he sustained on run #1, day #1.

It really is amazing we don’t all die as kids

[The Royal We 3072]

Man, reading through this thread and seeing dads in all the various stages of raising kids brings all kinds of memories and thoughts of the future to the surface. I've got three kids, 15, 11, & 9 years old and it just feels like it's all going too fast at this point. I really try to be present and remember that these are the good old days I'm living through right now.

The main thing I'm trying to work on right now is saying "yes" as much as I can. Not to pleas of wanting to put off doing homework or stuff like that, but saying yes when they are asking me to do something with them. Will you play catch, will you play a video game with us, will you pull us on the tube, etc. Sometimes it's easy to say I've got work to do or whatever, but I'm really trying to say yes as much as possible since I can feel time slipping away from me.

It guts me to think about only having 3.5 more years of my oldest living with us. Fuck.

[Longhorn94 2448]

I have never, and will never, say no to having a catch. 

[High Plains Drifter 11049]

 

Damn, a ski team, who knew? I water skied a lot during HS and college on Lake Travis and Canyon Lake. But never on a team. 

In college, I had a friend whose family had a boat on Canyon Lake. We'd get up before dawn, drive down, put on wet suits, and ski early in the morning, pretty much anytime of the year, for a few hours, then haul ass back to the 40 for our first class, smelling like mildewy wet suits. 

 

 

[dcbc 14484]

51 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

I'm not gonna encourage my son to try that.  He's never water skiied to my knowledge, but went to Colorado last February and promptly ignored my advice to "please be careful, we really don't need to be footing the bill for surgery this spring".

I'm almost done paying off the ER + surgical bills for his broken collarbone that he sustained on run #1, day #1.

Yeah, I have found that mine likes to figure out what he likes by doing.  He's been slalom skiing most of his life.  I did not encourage this.

 

[dcbc 14484]

40 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Damn, a ski team, who knew? I water skied a lot during HS and college on Lake Travis and Canyon Lake. But never on a team. 

In college, I had a friend whose family had a boat on Canyon Lake. We'd get up before dawn, drive down, put on wet suits, and ski early in the morning, pretty much anytime of the year, for a few hours, then haul ass back to the 40 for our first class, smelling like mildewy wet suits. 

 

 

My wife (no pics) tried out her freshman year.  It was in January (1992).  She was in a borrowed wetsuit and couldn't feel her extremities.  She couldn't get up on the ski and didn't make the team.  Bummer because it would have been fun.  Nice private lake to practice on.

Edited September 23 by dcbc

[jimmyjazz 45955]

51 minutes ago, The Royal We said:

It guts me to think about only having 3.5 more years of my oldest living with us. Fuck.

Yeah, my son played an immense amount of high club soccer over the years and was all-district in 5 track & field events in high school.  It didn't occur to me until it was over that what I miss now is not the sports, but the insane amount of hours and miles I spent driving his ass all over Texas and Oklahoma.

[BrazilHorn 6607]

Had the meeting with Daughter’s (no pics) boyfriend on Saturday where he asked my permission for him to marry her. 
 

He’s a great young man so was no problem to answer “yes”. Hearing him articulate how much he loved my daughter and how meeting her was the best thing that ever happened to him was a cool moment. 
 

Crazy to think my little girl will be getting married. 

[Goofyboy 3293]

The 1997 ski team house threw some killer parties. I tried out for the team, but I was not good enough. Great group though and wake boarded with some of them a couple years later. Nice to see the team is still going.

[Jameslaw121 4448]

43 minutes ago, BrazilHorn said:

Had the meeting with Daughter’s (no pics) boyfriend on Saturday where he asked my permission for him to marry her. 
 

He’s a great young man so was no problem to answer “yes”. Hearing him articulate how much he loved my daughter and how meeting her was the best thing that ever happened to him was a cool moment. 
 

Crazy to think my little girl will be getting married. 

My Father in Law only had girls. And I was the first serious adult-ish (I mean Im still here), And we hit if off really well from the beginning. I took him to lunch around 7th month of dating, which wasn't too unusual, he and I would grab lunch about once a month.

I asked if I could marry his daughter and he was kinda thinking  "yeah sure sometime in the future we should maybe talk about that." Then I showed him the ring. The look on his face, when he figured out I was serious, was one of the best memories I have.

Edited September 24 by Jameslaw121

[dcbc 14484]

1 hour ago, Goofyboy said:

The 1997 ski team house threw some killer parties. I tried out for the team, but I was not good enough. Great group though and wake boarded with some of them a couple years later. Nice to see the team is still going.

Username checks out.  And, yes, they seem like they like to have a good time, which is a good social outlet for my son.

Edited September 24 by dcbc

[dcbc 14484]

1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

My Father in Law only had girls. And I was the first serious adult-ish (I mean Im still here), And we hit if off really well from the beginning. I took him to lunch around 7th month of dating, which wasn't too unusual, he and I would grab lunch about once a month.

I asked if I could marry his daughter and he was kinda thinking  "yeah sure sometime in the future we should maybe talk about that." Then I showed him the ring. The look on his face, when he figured out I was serious, was one of the best memories I have.

I remember having that talk with my now-wife's dad.  I talked to a good friend of mine ahead of time, and his advise was pretty priceless/funny.  He said, "I didn't ask for permission.  I asked for his blessing.  I was going to marry her regardless of whether I had his permission."  He made a good point.  So I went that route.  It went fine.  Her Dad and I always have gotten along well.

Edited September 24 by dcbc

[South Austin 52505]

14 hours ago, The Royal We said:

It guts me to think about only having 3.5 more years of my oldest living with us. Fuck.

It always seemed so far off to me, even after my daughter started her senior year of high school, and even when she graduated this past May and still had a whole summer with us. 

We fly out on Thursday to move her into her freshman dorm.  I'll fly back Saturday morning.  By myself. 

There's a brewery in Eugene, Oregon where on Friday evening the patrons are going to be quietly looking at a guy having pints at a table all by himself and asking, "Why is that guy crying?"

[The Royal We 3072]

53 minutes ago, South Austin said:

It always seemed so far off to me, even after my daughter started her senior year of high school, and even when she graduated this past May and still had a whole summer with us. 

We fly out on Thursday to move her into her freshman dorm.  I'll fly back Saturday morning.  By myself. 

There's a brewery in Eugene, Oregon where on Friday evening the patrons are going to be quietly looking at a guy having pints at a table all by himself and asking, "Why is that guy crying?"

Fuck man. You've done great if she got into a good school and is comfortable enough to move so far away. Props.

I can still remember the day my parents dropped me off at UT and not really understanding why my mom was so emotional. I was such a fucking asshole.

[South Austin 52505]

22 minutes ago, The Royal We said:

I can still remember the day my parents dropped me off at UT and not really understanding why my mom was so emotional. I was such a fucking asshole.

I recently told my daughter my own move-in story. 

I'm the oldest, so the first kid my parents sent to college. They moved me into my cramped freshman dorm, my mom made my bed and helped unpack a few things, and then I recall they just left.  No lunch, no stroll around campus.  We parted at the elevator on my floor with a quick hug, and they were gone.  I really didn't think much of it.  My parents lived about 2.5 hours away, and I knew I'd see them on Labor Day weekend.  Big deal, I'm in college now, and we were all looking forward to this day.

So a few minutes after my parents left I decide to take a walk around campus and find a bite to eat.  I see a couple about my parents age, and they're walking away from a dorm with a thousand-yard stare holding hands, and they both have tears streaming down their cheeks.  Even the dad looked he was doing everything to keep it together.  And I think to myself, "Oh shit, that was my parents."

When I leave my daughter, I don't expect a prolonged good bye with a lot of parting wisdom.  I already gave her my dump of fatherly advice and heavy discussion when I took her for a final father-daughter lunch last Saturday.  And I told her that I'd be in Eugene all Friday after I move her in early that morning, and am available if she wanted to grab dinner, but I also respected the idea that it might be best to rip off the band aid and let her hang out with her new roommates or some of her high school friends who are also starting at UO.  She opted for the latter, and I told her that I was perfectly okay with that. 

But fucking A, I've had a growing feeling of sadness this week, not just because she's going far away to college, but because in a very real sense, she's leaving me forever.  She'll be back, of course, but never in the same way.  It feels a little like a heartbreak.  

Edited September 24 by South Austin

[BurntOrange&White 39933]

Question about strollers...

 

We currently have the Doona that we got as a gift at the baby shower. We're currently searching for a travel type stroller to use after he grows out of the Doona at roughly 1 year old. Our idea is to maybe take advantage of a Black Friday or Cyber Monday deal with the following stroller:

 

https://a.co/d/5f5PMra

 

Do yall have any opinions? 

 

 

 

Edited September 24 by BurntOrange&White

[Da Fino 2783]

Yoyo travel stroller. 

[dcbc 14484]

46 minutes ago, South Austin said:

I recently told my daughter my own move-in story. 

I'm the oldest, so the first kid my parents sent to college. They moved me into my cramped freshman dorm, my mom made my bed and helped unpack a few things, and then I recall they just left.  No lunch, no stroll around campus.  We parted at the elevator on my floor with a quick hug, and they were gone.  I really didn't think much of it.  My parents lived about 2.5 hours away, and I knew I'd see them on Labor Day weekend.  Big deal, I'm in college now, and we were all looking forward to this day.

So a few minutes after my parents left I decide to take a walk around campus and find a bite to eat.  I see a couple about my parents age, and they're walking away from a dorm with a thousand-yard stare holding hands, and they both have tears streaming down their cheeks.  Even the dad looked he was doing everything to keep it together.  And I think to myself, "Oh shit, that was my parents."

When I leave my daughter, I don't expect a prolonged good bye with a lot of parting wisdom.  I already gave her my dump of fatherly advice and heavy discussion when I took her for a final father-daughter lunch last Saturday.  And I told her that I'd be in Eugene all Friday after I move her in early that morning, and am available if she wanted to grab dinner, but I also respected the idea that it might be best to rip off the band aid and let her hang out with her new roommates or some of her high school friends who are also starting at UO.  She opted for the latter, and I told her that I was perfectly okay with that. 

But fucking A, I've had a growing feeling of sadness this week, not just because she's going far away to college, but because in a very real sense, she's leaving me forever.  She'll be back, of course, but never in the same way.  It feels a little like a heartbreak.  

I know it's going to be hard with her being so far away.  But it really is great.  Having kids in college is great.  The stories you'll hear are great (and the ones that aren't, you may not hear about).  The first time you visit after move in feels so good, and you'll likely get a sense of that maturing process that occurs from her being on her own for a while.  Trust me when I say that these are good things, and you'll be so happy for her.

[South Austin 52505]

1 hour ago, dcbc said:

Trust me when I say that these are good things, and you'll be so happy for her.

I know that, and I am happy for her, and she's always been an incredibly intelligent and confident old soul, so I know she'll be fine.  But it's still hurting right now.

[dcbc 14484]

21 minutes ago, South Austin said:

I know that, and I am happy for her, and she's always been an incredibly intelligent and confident old soul, so I know she'll be fine.  But it's still hurting right now.

It'd be weird if it didn't.