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BigDHornfan

By BigDHornfan
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next2naus

next2naus 439

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Dutchrudder said:

At the hospital now, should have baby boy Dutch this evening! First one for us, so it will be a trip. I get 4 weeks off work and she gets 4 months, so that's pretty sweet.

Anyone got any tips? I got her push present ready, she wanted another wedding band, but I replaced one of the diamonds with a blue sapphire cause it's a boy. I figured I would give it to her after baby is here and things settle down, though I'm not sure when that will be.

24 hour baby nurse for two months. 

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NorthLoop

NorthLoop 14466

Posted
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On 1/31/2019 at 7:04 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

 

 

Some good advice here folks. Better print this out and hand it on your bathroom mirror or something.

 

 

Try this: Toddler death stare followed by "Daddy, what's my other mommy's name?"

"Huh? Other mommy? What are you talking about?"

"You know, my other mommy, the one I only see at night when you are mommy are asleep?"

"What??!!"

"She has long black hair and wears long dresses" (My wife no pics is blond).

the. fuck. 

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High Plains Drifter

High Plains Drifter 11187

Posted
Posted
On 2/1/2019 at 11:27 AM, Dutchrudder said:

At the hospital now, should have baby boy Dutch this evening! First one for us, so it will be a trip. I get 4 weeks off work and she gets 4 months, so that's pretty sweet.

Anyone got any tips? I got her push present ready, she wanted another wedding band, but I replaced one of the diamonds with a blue sapphire cause it's a boy. I figured I would give it to her after baby is here and things settle down, though I'm not sure when that will be.

My tip is the sooner you stop with idiotic shit like push presents, the less painful it will be for everybody involved.

 

My other tip is even though you have 4 weeks off, find some "reason" to go into the office for a few hours upon occaision so you can get some rest.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
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Whenever, you get that tingling itch in the back of your head...when you're driving alone in open country and you think to yourself, "Why do other countries/peoples hate us?  Is it because of our freedom, our way of life?...what is it they hate so much?"  Just stop.  It's because the women in our country, bored with how reality TV and Pinot Grigio just aren't enough...invented the concept that they should demand a gift for delivering their own child onto our planet.  Not only that, but those same shitty women get to keep and raise those babies as their own, virtually ensuring the bleakest channels of our society procreate and thrive.    I think that's worth at least the deaths of a few dozen people.    

Oh yeah, our second girl is due two months from yesterday.  As a present, I've agreed to pick my MIL up at the airport.  Super nice lady, but I doubt she makes her connecting flight.  

Edited by Lobo
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Skipper

Skipper 6411

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We're a month out from our 2nd and I have never heard of a "push present" until reading this thread. SMH.  We did have the pleasure of receiving the gift of first 24 hour stomach bug with our 2 year old.  He puked everywhere Tues Night, then hit wife Thurs afternoon then me Sat night.  Miserable.  At least it was spread out.  And our 2 year old's stomach still isn't right.  Seems fine generally but then out of nowhere puked up his milk all over the kitchen this AM. Fun times.

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mdmost

mdmost 44022

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Wipe down, not up. 

Had a funny moment as the Tooth Fairy's job with the younger one was complicated by a few things. First, the Tooth Fairy gives them gold coins ($1 coins). We could've done cash but our TF thought gold coins would be more fun. They collect them versus spending them. Well, TF ran out of gold coins and had to raid the existing stash to supplement until more gold coins could be purchased. So the TF thought he/she was done until seeing the tooth in the snack baggy also had a folded up note attached. So TF had to leave to read the note which included a reply back request on the back. So TF had to write back a note in a creative handwriting style as they're getting older and can easily figure things out. The note to the TF was so unbelievably sweet. The younger one is just a ball of cuteness. I'm really going to miss when this age has come and gone. I'm hoping she'll be an easy teen but few are. But she'll be easier than her sister, I hope. (knocks on wood) 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21285

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, mdmost said:

Wipe down, not up. 

Had a funny moment as the Tooth Fairy's job with the younger one was complicated by a few things. First, the Tooth Fairy gives them gold coins ($1 coins). We could've done cash but our TF thought gold coins would be more fun. They collect them versus spending them. Well, TF ran out of gold coins and had to raid the existing stash to supplement until more gold coins could be purchased. So the TF thought he/she was done until seeing the tooth in the snack baggy also had a folded up note attached. So TF had to leave to read the note which included a reply back request on the back. So TF had to write back a note in a creative handwriting style as they're getting older and can easily figure things out. The note to the TF was so unbelievably sweet. The younger one is just a ball of cuteness. I'm really going to miss when this age has come and gone. I'm hoping she'll be an easy teen but few are. But she'll be easier than her sister, I hope. (knocks on wood) 

Pro tip: you can buy $1 Richard Nixon commemorative coins from the U.S. Mint. 

https://www.usmint.gov/coins/coin-medal-programs/presidential-dollar-coin/richard-nixon

My dad used to hand them out as tips to predictably entertaining results. I plan for our Tooth Fairy to traffic in these as well. 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21285

Posted
Posted (edited)

Yeah, and a box of them makes a great wedding gift. 

Edit: Shit, it looks like you can no longer buy these at face value directly from the mint. Glad I have a couple hundred laying around just in case - I'll have to be judicious in how I spend them from now on... 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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mdmost

mdmost 44022

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, Modessit said:

Just go buy stamps at the post office automated machine. Change is given in dollar coins

Our post office only takes credit cards. I'd imagine they learned the hard way when someone probably rammed a car through and broke into the machine for the cash. I also thought to try the lottery machine at my grocery store. Doesn't give back change. Bit the bullet and drove over to the local bank and they got me straight with some nice and shiny new ones. 

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EE2B

EE2B 1569

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The ones that drove me crazy would be when we would turn out of the entrance of the neighborhood and she would scream “I need to pee!” One time I told her I was putting her back in diapers because she couldn’t go two miles without needing to pee.

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High Plains Drifter

High Plains Drifter 11187

Posted
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On 2/11/2019 at 11:01 AM, mdmost said:

Wipe down, not up. 

Had a funny moment as the Tooth Fairy's job with the younger one was complicated by a few things. First, the Tooth Fairy gives them gold coins ($1 coins). We could've done cash but our TF thought gold coins would be more fun. They collect them versus spending them. Well, TF ran out of gold coins and had to raid the existing stash to supplement until more gold coins could be purchased. So the TF thought he/she was done until seeing the tooth in the snack baggy also had a folded up note attached. So TF had to leave to read the note which included a reply back request on the back. So TF had to write back a note in a creative handwriting style as they're getting older and can easily figure things out. The note to the TF was so unbelievably sweet. The younger one is just a ball of cuteness. I'm really going to miss when this age has come and gone. I'm hoping she'll be an easy teen but few are. But she'll be easier than her sister, I hope. (knocks on wood) 

 

We were giving ours just a dollar, then grandma (my mom) fucked us. Daugther lost a tooth at grandma's house, and she left a $20. That is my mom's idea of a practical joke.

 

23 hours ago, Jkwellborn said:

My daughter writes notes to the tooth fairly, the elves, Santa you name it. They are always sweet and we always reply. I’m really going to miss it when she’s not doing it any more. I feel like this past Christmas was the last one she’s going to believe.

 

My youngest last christmas brought me a picture with this elaborate scheme to "catch" Santa to see if he was real. It involved a trip wire and ropes connected to a bell that would wake her up when he came down the chimney.

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Modessit

Modessit 5666

Posted
Posted
Wife is due in just over 2 weeks but she's already 1.5 dilated and the doc says to be on our toes. Hard to concentrate on work when you know that call is coming any day now. 

First kid? 2nd kid? With our 2nd, my wife was dilated at least 1-2cm for the final two weeks and we had to induce 6 days late because my daughter wasn't in a rush. First kid had zero dilation and the water broke 8 days early.

 

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NorthLoop

NorthLoop 14466

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48 minutes ago, Modessit said:

First kid? 2nd kid? With our 2nd, my wife was dilated at least 1-2cm for the final two weeks and we had to induce 6 days late because my daughter wasn't in a rush. First kid had zero dilation and the water broke 8 days early.

 

Wife's 2nd. If she goes 6 days past due I'll probably get stabbed before she goes into labor. 

Doc says he really doesn't think she'll make it to 40 weeks so hopefully he's right. 

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8983

Posted
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5 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Wife is due in just over 2 weeks but she's already 1.5 dilated and the doc says to be on our toes. Hard to concentrate on work when you know that call is coming any day now. 

wife had her membranes stripped each time for our kids. they were both at 38 weeks and it rushed things. first kid was probably 36 hours, second kid was probably 7 hours

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NorthLoop

NorthLoop 14466

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2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

wife had her membranes stripped each time for our kids. they were both at 38 weeks and it rushed things. first kid was probably 36 hours, second kid was probably 7 hours

You talking labor time or time from stripping the membranes to labor starting? 

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8983

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Time from they stripped them to when baby was born. First labor was probably "20 hours" with 3 hrs pushing+ epidural.( she waited a whole day before having regular contractions) Second came faster pace after strip. They swiped at like 9 a.m. during our 38 wk check up... we were on our way back to hospital about 2pm.. baby born at 3:50 pm, no epidural. Anastasia guy was about 30 minute wait and when he showed up.. we were halfway through delivery. Good luck. Shit is insane

 

 

 

 

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