Jump to content

Surly Dad Thread

BigDHornfan

By BigDHornfan
in Daily Texan

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 3.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

ocugolf
ocugolf

Many of you know my story. Lost a daughter to still birth at 8 months about 6 years ago. Well after 6 years of frustration, disappointment, hundreds of thousands of dollars in doctor bills for IUI, IV

closetojumping
closetojumping

My 8th grader got into St. John's! The counselor told me about it last night, early, because he was excited to get him. The boy has been diagnosed with autism and is enduring his third straight year i

scottsins
scottsins

Hi guys! Just posting from our hospital room. Not even sure what day it is, but I’m all up in this thread now, after the arrival of my first and last born spawn at the spry age of 49. Do I get an o

Posted Images

Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105122

Posted
Posted

Follow up on the boy: he is in his room in Berlin, beginning his year there. Watching him go through security and off into his life hit me like a ton of bricks.

Sent us the short video of everything set up and moved in. He’s going to find a döner shop nearby and grab some dinner, than try to get on a sleep schedule.

After dropping him off at the airport last night, we came home to a quiet house. The first time it’s been a household of 2 in over 20 years. Super fucking weird, man. The sudden shift, after 20 years of having kids in the house, has thrown us off balance more than we expected. Parenthood…even when you’re no longe actively parenting….will continue to throw you surprises.

  • Hook 'Em 3
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89659

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Ahhh that Saturday morning 6:30AM barge in of the bedroom door after the first week of school hits so hard.

It's like in one of the Santa episodes on Bluey, where one of the kids jumps on one of the dads and clearly racks the shit out of him, to the point where he stays huddled on the floor, trying to get his breath.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Anastasis

Anastasis 23469

Posted
Posted

Pulling in to the soccer fields for the Labor Day tournament. No parking so just let the boy jump out of the truck while I go find a spot. For some reason he didn’t want to wear a shirt on the drive up. Jumped out of the car and his little brother was giving him some grief. “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt? You need to be wearing a shirt!”

Boy kicked back “No I don’t. I’m a boy and I don’t have to wear a shirt and I can pee outside.”

Just kinda nodded my head and told the youngest that his brother was right. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Armybrat

Armybrat 40839

Posted
Posted
On 8/31/2021 at 11:51 AM, Brisketexan said:

On the other end of this process, my wife and I are preparing to put our second (and last) kid on a plane to start his adult life (a pre-college gap year language study overseas).  As of Friday afternoon, we'll be legit "empty nesters."

And we're both surprised with how hard a time we're having with it (much harder than when we sent our first away to school).  Part of it is these anxious COVID times.  But a bigger part is that it's a definitive "end" to a phase in our lives.  We are no longer a family living under one roof, and but for periodic returns home (we hope), we never will be again.  The boy even pointed out that if we ever get another dog, it won't be a "family dog."  It'll just be ours -- mine and my wife's.  We ARE looking forward to the empty nest years -- we like each other, we have plans, all of that.  But this milestone marks such a passage of time, in a year that's already been full of them.

We have no more pets.  We had to put them both down this year.  For the first time in 25+ years, no animal companions.

My mother died just a few months ago.  The passing of the baton to our generation as the oldest one is almost complete.

In our big house, it will just be the two of us.  From learning to cook for just two again, to not having our kids' energetic presence around, we are closing the book on an entire phase of our lives.

Even as there are things to look forward to, there's much to grieve.  We will never have a family with our "children" again.  That's just a fact.  It's how it's supposed to be, but it's a lot to swallow, and that realization has caught us off guard.  So, enjoy all the times you have.  Know that transitions are hard (ALL of them -- from having no kids, to having multiple kids, to having no kids in the house again).  We weren't expecting this one to hit us as hard as it is.

It's been a hard fucking year, man.

Time to start think about downsizing the house in the next few years.

Planning your “forever” home will take some of the sting out of that empty feeling after the kids are gone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

Posted
Posted

Fucking croup landed us at the ER last night for about 3.5 hours. He had the bark cough going. I thought he was fucking with me with this brand new noise he could make. My 3YO wasn’t having any of the neb or X-ray they wanted to take of him but sucked down the steroid/apple juice cocktail.

Finally got our walking papers at 2:30AM


Oh new update.. his pull up diaper wasn’t covering everything so add cleaning his bed sheets to the todo list. Have kids they say…


At least brisket slept like a rock

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Clintonaldo

Clintonaldo 2574

Posted
Posted

I never really thought of dying until we had our son in January and now it’s all I think about and I don’t know why. I made the comment the other night of he will be walking pretty soon and the next thing I know I will be dead. Having a kid makes you realize how fast time goes. I think I have a huge fear of dying before I can teach him everything he needs to know if that makes any sense. I don’t know if some of that is that I am also 40. 

 

I was gone last week for work and missed my family like crazy and then got home Friday night and hang out. I have a cousin I haven’t seen in 5 years in town so I stayed the night at the lake without them ( they came up for the day) to visit him as he is moving back to Hawaii on Wednesday and I don’t know when I will see him again. It was a blast seeing him and I was just cracking open my first beer when I learned an acquaintance died in a car wreck at 2 am last night and was most likely drunk. First thing I thought of was his 2 children and I decided that I needed to come home at noon today. 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
On 9/4/2021 at 8:49 AM, Brisketexan said:

Follow up on the boy: he is in his room in Berlin, beginning his year there. Watching him go through security and off into his life hit me like a ton of bricks.

Sent us the short video of everything set up and moved in. He’s going to find a döner shop nearby and grab some dinner, than try to get on a sleep schedule.

After dropping him off at the airport last night, we came home to a quiet house. The first time it’s been a household of 2 in over 20 years. Super fucking weird, man. The sudden shift, after 20 years of having kids in the house, has thrown us off balance more than we expected. Parenthood…even when you’re no longe actively parenting….will continue to throw you surprises.

Enjoy the fuck out of it.

 

You will.  I promise.   and the times when you're together again will be better than you ever imagined!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jkwellborn

Jkwellborn 6697

Posted
Posted
I never really thought of dying until we had our son in January and now it’s all I think about and I don’t know why. I made the comment the other night of he will be walking pretty soon and the next thing I know I will be dead. Having a kid makes you realize how fast time goes. I think I have a huge fear of dying before I can teach him everything he needs to know if that makes any sense. I don’t know if some of that is that I am also 40. 
 
I was gone last week for work and missed my family like crazy and then got home Friday night and hang out. I have a cousin I haven’t seen in 5 years in town so I stayed the night at the lake without them ( they came up for the day) to visit him as he is moving back to Hawaii on Wednesday and I don’t know when I will see him again. It was a blast seeing him and I was just cracking open my first beer when I learned an acquaintance died in a car wreck at 2 am last night and was most likely drunk. First thing I thought of was his 2 children and I decided that I needed to come home at noon today. 

It’s wild thinking about something happening to you and not being able to see the kids grow up.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Atxracer

Atxracer 797

Posted
Posted
50 minutes ago, Clintonaldo said:

I never really thought of dying until we had our son in January and now it’s all I think about and I don’t know why. I made the comment the other night of he will be walking pretty soon and the next thing I know I will be dead. Having a kid makes you realize how fast time goes. I think I have a huge fear of dying before I can teach him everything he needs to know if that makes any sense. I don’t know if some of that is that I am also 40. 

I’m glad you said this. I’ve never really had that fear before either and about as soon as my son was born it hit me. I then made sure the life insurances were in order, a trust was set up, I made a contingency plan for the business and tied up loose ends I never really was concerned with before.  I’ve always been a chronic worrier but this brought it to a new level. 
 

That said, wife finally got the second vaccine Friday so was out of commission today. Spent the day playing outside, taking a drive, making spaghetti and watching the F1 race and Cars. The juice is worth the squeeze. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105122

Posted
Posted

Spent my evening listening, in real time, to some high school kids find their friend’s body (we’re presuming suicide) in the green belt maybe 100 yards from my back porch. Anguished screams of “no God no!”, over and over. Piercing. Burned into my brain now. I head over and realize what has happened. Police were already on the way.

And all I can think about as the red and blue lights still flash is that his parents are having the worst night of their lives tonight. It makes me want to puke. As a parent, that’s the all-consuming fear - that something like that happens.

Fuck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
hornian

hornian 5218

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, Clintonaldo said:

I never really thought of dying until we had our son in January and now it’s all I think about and I don’t know why. I made the comment the other night of he will be walking pretty soon and the next thing I know I will be dead. Having a kid makes you realize how fast time goes. I think I have a huge fear of dying before I can teach him everything he needs to know if that makes any sense. I don’t know if some of that is that I am also 40. 

 

I was gone last week for work and missed my family like crazy and then got home Friday night and hang out. I have a cousin I haven’t seen in 5 years in town so I stayed the night at the lake without them ( they came up for the day) to visit him as he is moving back to Hawaii on Wednesday and I don’t know when I will see him again. It was a blast seeing him and I was just cracking open my first beer when I learned an acquaintance died in a car wreck at 2 am last night and was most likely drunk. First thing I thought of was his 2 children and I decided that I needed to come home at noon today. 

Get life insurance and get your estate in order. It won’t stop a random drunk from killing you but will at least ease your mind that if it happens your family will have some measure of support snd stability if you’re gone. 
 

This thread has really taken a Debbie Downer turn. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Clintonaldo

Clintonaldo 2574

Posted
Posted
Get life insurance and get your estate in order. It won’t stop a random drunk from killing you but will at least ease your mind that if it happens your family will have some measure of support snd stability if you’re gone. 
 
This thread has really taken a Debbie Downer turn. 

I did all that before he was born. It’s amazing how many people don’t do that.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Link to comment
Share on other sites
hornian

hornian 5218

Posted
Posted
47 minutes ago, Clintonaldo said:


I did all that before he was born. It’s amazing how many people don’t do that.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Me too.

I also take out a $250k term life policy after each kiddo is born, on top of all my other life insurance - that’s their college find of anything happens to me (my wife has about $1.5mm in other insurance from my work and personal policies on top of that, and my SS payments to her and the kids would be significant). She’d have to go back to work most likely, but the mortgage would be paid for and she’d have enough to hire help.

I don’t like to think about that, and I’m definitely worth more alive, but it gives me some measure of comfort. 

  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105122

Posted
Posted
Spent my evening listening, in real time, to some high school kids find their friend’s body (we’re presuming suicide) in the green belt maybe 100 yards from my back porch. Anguished screams of “no God no!”, over and over. Piercing. Burned into my brain now. I head over and realize what has happened. Police were already on the way.

And all I can think about as the red and blue lights still flash is that his parents are having the worst night of their lives tonight. It makes me want to puke. As a parent, that’s the all-consuming fear - that something like that happens.

Fuck.

Well, not that this is a better outcome at all….but it turns out it was one of MY peers who died. Has kids who are contemporaries of mine.

It’s a hard damned world out there. So much damned pain. Dads, love your kids. But also, take care of yourselves. The world is better with you in it. It is. I’m sure of it.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

Posted
Posted
  My kid has her first 8th grade volleyball game tonight. I made a necklace with an 11x14 picture of her in it complete with LED lights around the edges. I know its over the top, but I am a proud dad after all. She will have to deal with the embarrassment.

cddf157230bf599445d42d68618fc3cc.jpg


I can dig tonight’s look…it’s either this or the banana suit
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Da Fino

Da Fino 2781

Posted
Posted
On 8/25/2021 at 5:39 AM, SydneyCarton said:

Yeah, yesterday was his first day of school. He looked so grown up in his uniform. And getting words right just fucking kills you. For a year “ok” was “o-tay.” So wife and I would say Otay as well. Then about 4 or 5 months ago he just flat out corrected us “no, it’s OK.” Felt like the villain in Temple of Doom just ripped out my heart. Wizzors became scissors. Fuck. 

I think we are about a week or two from "O-tay" going away with our daughter, and it's going to fucking wreck me. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Thatguy

Thatguy 8691

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

  I know a lot of you Dads will feel what I am about to post.

 

   Graduated in the 90's and began chasing the almighty dollar. I moved all over the country, wherever the next raise or bump up in income was. I promised my wife I would settle down and stay put once the kiddo got to middle school, and held fast on my promise after moving to Houston from LA. This summer, after missing quite a bit of my daughter's life last year, I quit my job. I had astronomically high blood pressure and needed a lifestyle change so I can be there for my family long term. Took a couple months to change my diet and figure out what I was gonna do. I decided to start my own company. Nothing crazy, just something relaxing to pay the bills. Now I will be able to go to every game, be there for every dance, and home every night. For years everything took a backseat to my career, now finally my career will take a backseat to everything else. Hookem!

  • Hook 'Em 8
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Thatguy

Thatguy 8691

Posted
Posted
Just now, Thatguy said:

  I know a lot of you Dads will feel what I am about to post.

 

   Graduated in the 90's and began chasing the almighty dollar. I moved all over the country, wherever the next raise or bump up in income was. I promised my wife I would settle down and stay put once the kiddo got to middle school, and held fast on my promise after moving to Houston from LA. This summer, after missing quite a bit of my daughter's life last year, I quit my job. I had astronomically high blood pressure and needed a lifestyle change so I can be there for my family long term. Took a couple months to change my diet and figure out what I was gonna do. I decided to start my own company. Nothing crazy, just something relaxing to pay the bills. Now I will be able to go to every game, be there for every dance, and home every night. For years everything took a backseat to my career, now finally my career will take a backseat to everything else. After securing all the proper paperwork and getting everything in place, we launch next week. Hookem!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89659

Posted
Posted (edited)

The new Octonaut series/season on Netflix delivers, for those whose kids like the originals.  Netflix did a good job of bringing it back.

Everybody, start singing "CREATURE REPORT! CREATURE REPORT!"

I can leave these shows on and pretend my kids are learning.

Edited by atomheartbevo
  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Wiler77

Wiler77 1566

Posted
Posted
On 9/7/2021 at 2:51 PM, Brisketexan said:


Well, not that this is a better outcome at all….but it turns out it was one of MY peers who died. Has kids who are contemporaries of mine.

It’s a hard damned world out there. So much damned pain. Dads, love your kids. But also, take care of yourselves. The world is better with you in it. It is. I’m sure of it.

Shit, that sucks.  Was it a freak accident, or suicide as you presumed originally.  Not that one is necessarily better than the other, but I can't imagine the guilt put on one's family if it was suicide.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
F250

F250 28772

Posted
Posted
On 9/4/2021 at 8:49 AM, Brisketexan said:

Follow up on the boy: he is in his room in Berlin, beginning his year there. Watching him go through security and off into his life hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

My 21 year old came by the house today to clean out all his things so his little sister could take over his room. He is a 4th year AFROTC cadet and will be graduating next Spring. I must have had a mental block because I didn't see a need for him to pack all his stuff up as if he was never coming back home once school is over. He mentioned something about being commissioned in the Spring and going wherever the Air Force sends him after that and I had an internal freak out.

I sat outside this evening by myself thinking this God Damn life goes by too fast. I am proud of the man he has become but I can't stop seeing him as the little boy I used to walk into his Kindergarten classroom.

 

  • Hook 'Em 5
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
hookemATL

hookemATL 11724

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, F250 said:

 

My 21 year old came by the house today to clean out all his things so his little sister could take over his room. He is a 4th year AFROTC cadet and will be graduating next Spring. I must have had a mental block because I didn't see a need for him to pack all his stuff up as if he was never coming back home once school is over. He mentioned something about being commissioned in the Spring and going wherever the Air Force sends him after that and I had an internal freak out.

I sat outside this evening by myself thinking this God Damn life goes by too fast. I am proud of the man he has become but I can't stop seeing him as the little boy I used to walk into his Kindergarten classroom.

 

Did it hit you with that ugly/try and hold it back wet eyes half-cry?  I do that all the time and mine are still young.  

Congrats to your kiddo and nice work.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
High Plains Drifter

High Plains Drifter 11047

Posted
Posted

 

I just realized I replied to a 4 month old post. I didn't intend to get so far behind on this thread.

 

Anyway, came here to post this--

Conversation with my 11 yr old the other day:

You remember when I was little and would hide behind the couch and pretend to be a ghost?

yes...

Well, I know you were just pretending to believe I was really a ghost.

 

 

What is funny is that I do remember that like it was yesterday, but I had completely forgotten it until she mentioned it. What else have I forgotten?

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

Posted
Posted
first kid/boy is coming.
basically im letting the wife take care of most things.
but from your experience, what are the top 3 things i should OVERspend/UNDERspend on?

Overspend: NB/size 1 diapers, wipes, cream, tissues, cheap gerber onesies you can toss if stained, pooped, puked on, boppy loungers or you can set baby down to get a break


Underspend: clothes. But your wife won’t so expect some clothes to only get one or no wears at all
  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Etexhorn13

Etexhorn13 3045

Posted
Posted
23 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

first kid/boy is coming.

basically im letting the wife take care of most things.

but from your experience, what are the top 3 things i should OVERspend/UNDERspend on?

The way you have to dress the circumcision (assuming you get that done) made diaper changing a little difficult for the first week or so. All that petroleum jelly and having to point the pecker upwards made my son piss through the top of all his diapers and soak all the clothes/swaddles he slept in early on. to that point, go ahead and buy several squeeze tubes of petroleum jelly ahead of time if he’s getting circumcised. 
 

Get lots of zip up swaddles, especially for at night - way way easier to deal with. we have one in particular they allows him to have his arms raised up by the side of his head that is his favorite, he hates keeping arms down by his side. Also, we had several gowns and they made diaper changing super easy as you just have to pull them up and not worry about taking them all the way off. 
 

we did the uppababy Mesa car seat/base - you can put a base in each car and just click the car seat in and out. The car seat also clicks into our stroller which is pretty clutch. 

get a shitload of newborn/1 diapers, you’ll fly through them. 
 

hatch noisemaker is great, you can adjust sounds/sound level and light color/brightness from your phone.

 

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...