Surly Dad Thread

[atomheartbevo 89628]

If you’re trying to get your kids to sleep, show them the Santa tracker

https://www.noradsanta.org/en/map

[tx 3 putt 76873]

To all the surly dads, it’s your night to shine

 

[Jkwellborn 6691]

I miss my kids believing. My son is amped for tomorrow though. He’s been in bed asleep for an hour.

We still watch the movies and hang out. I still read Twas the Night Before Christmas.

But I don’t have to put shit together before I go to sleep tonight. Y’all enjoy it.

[956 Worldwide 34702]

Just cracked open my Christmas even beer. Got a nine year old who says she still is pretty sure Santa is real. I think she’s just playing it safe, but it’s fun as hell that she lets me. And I don’t have to put stuff together at that age, but get to eat the cookies.  It’s probably the last year I’ll get full buy-in, but it will be almost as much fun when they realize Santa never stops coming, whether they believe or not, as long as they are my kids. 
 

The downside is now her older sister is hard as hell to buy for. 

[956 Worldwide 34702]

1 hour ago, Jkwellborn said:

We still watch the movies and hang out. I still read Twas the Night Before Christmas.

My grandmother, who spent every Christmas at our place, always read that. She lived to be 99, about 80 days shy of 100.  The first year I was living overseas, my parents mailed me a cassette tape of her reading it. I still have it somewhere, thanks for reminding me I need to get that thing digitized. 

[Willfully Horn 8002]

On 12/11/2023 at 10:29 AM, Celery Man said:

I’m a born in the ‘80s cis straight male knitter who is aware of the gendrification of knitting as a hobby and is joking about that. I don’t personally associate knitting with being gay and am unworried about the association for me. I was a knitter before I was a dad.

Made me think of Rosey Grier. Also thought of a women I once dated who was a weaver. But she was warped, so I weft.

Congratulations on the addition to your family. 
 

Merry, happy to y’all.

 

Edited December 25, 2023 by Willfully Horn

[atomheartbevo 89628]

 

 

[Armybrat 40822]

 

[Thatguy 8681]

On 12/22/2023 at 11:51 AM, Brisketexan said:

DEFINITELY in play with the womenfolk in our household.

"I'm on fire!"  Okay, let's stay calm - how about you jump in the shower to put the fire out?  "NO!  I JUST WANT TO STAND HERE IN FLAMES AND HAVE YOU LISTEN TO ME!"  Cool.  I hear you.  Could we maybe continue this conversation as you step in the shower and put the fire out?  "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TRY TO SOLVE EVERYTHING?!"  Well....because you're on fire.  And every second that you remain on fire causes you real harm.  So, it seems important that we put the fire out ASAP.  "NOW I'M EVEN ANGRIER, BECAUSE YOU WON'T LISTEN, YOU JUST TRY TO BE THE HERO AND FIX EVERYTHING!"

And Brisket starts thinking "I'm going to have to build up to it, but becoming an alcoholic might be a good plan for me."

Currently in this loop bigtime Brisket. Moved from LA to Houston to slow life down. Wife picks a lilly white suburb because the schools were great. Can't say as I blame because HISD. Anyway, kid is a super athletic, skinny little thing who never met anyone who wasn't a friend. We start the new school in 6th grade. A month in she is in the hospital diagnosed with Type1. She gets out then Covid. Depression sets in. 7th grade starts and she isn't the same. Scared to assert herself. Not making friends. Kids calling her the N word. Lucky for us volleyball creates a balance. She excels at that. Making elite teams at club, starting varsity, 1st team all district, but at school she is being ostracized. At first we think its because early teenager, and the usual struggles of girls that age, but then, through volleyball, we start to see that its simply "how things are" in areas like this. The light bulb kinda came on last year. The first tournament of the volleyball season we took the girls to eat and all the black girls meandered over to a table by themselves. In fact, of the 13 girls they all segregated. We lived in Woodland Hills in LA and it wasn't like this.

Wife is from the West Coast(chinese and white) and doesn't get it. I remember this from my time growing up. Daughter is growing increasingly frustrated. Boys ask her out to a dance but then come back and say they aren't allowed to go. Wife and Daughter are both complaining. Daughter is fighting some hardcore depression. My wife's reaction isn't making things better. Solution is pretty simple to me. Move or accept the fact that you aren't making friends here and build relationships with the girls on your club team from other schools. My "fixit" isn't appreciated. So I will just hang out over here until y'all figure it out.

[Brisketexan 105071]

Currently in this loop bigtime Brisket. Moved from LA to Houston to slow life down. Wife picks a lilly white suburb because the schools were great. Can't say as I blame because HISD. Anyway, kid is a super athletic, skinny little thing who never met anyone who wasn't a friend. We start the new school in 6th grade. A month in she is in the hospital diagnosed with Type1. She gets out then Covid. Depression sets in. 7th grade starts and she isn't the same. Scared to assert herself. Not making friends. Kids calling her the N word. Lucky for us volleyball creates a balance. She excels at that. Making elite teams at club, starting varsity, 1st team all district, but at school she is being ostracized. At first we think its because early teenager, and the usual struggles of girls that age, but then, through volleyball, we start to see that its simply "how things are" in areas like this. The light bulb kinda came on last year. The first tournament of the volleyball season we took the girls to eat and all the black girls meandered over to a table by themselves. In fact, of the 13 girls they all segregated. We lived in Woodland Hills in LA and it wasn't like this.
Wife is from the West Coast(chinese and white) and doesn't get it. I remember this from my time growing up. Daughter is growing increasingly frustrated. Boys ask her out to a dance but then come back and say they aren't allowed to go. Wife and Daughter are both complaining. Daughter is fighting some hardcore depression. My wife's reaction isn't making things better. Solution is pretty simple to me. Move or accept the fact that you aren't making friends here and build relationships with the girls on your club team from other schools. My "fixit" isn't appreciated. So I will just hang out over here until y'all figure it out.

Sorry to hear that. It’s ultra-shitty, and makes me ashamed of my state. But more than that, hurting for your wife and your daughter. No words of wisdom to offer, I’ve been out of those for a while. Love each other.

[Thatguy 8681]

50 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Sorry to hear that. It’s ultra-shitty, and makes me ashamed of my state. But more than that, hurting for your wife and your daughter. No words of wisdom to offer, I’ve been out of those for a while. Love each other.

It is what it is Brisket. Me and you grew up here so we know what's up, but for outsiders it can be a bitter pill to swallow. My daughter is being recruited now and she swears she won't entertain any scholarships from Texas. I am doing my best to support but I am struggling finding the line.

[pacman 7355]

Damn, the 21 year old and 16 year old got us professional pictures of them together. Not a dry eye from the parents side.

I told them the gift of the picture was wonderful. However, it was the act of spending the day together, and taking the pictures together, that really made the day for us.

[Celery Man 20932]

1 hour ago, Thatguy said:

Currently in this loop bigtime Brisket. Moved from LA to Houston to slow life down. Wife picks a lilly white suburb because the schools were great. Can't say as I blame because HISD. Anyway, kid is a super athletic, skinny little thing who never met anyone who wasn't a friend. We start the new school in 6th grade. A month in she is in the hospital diagnosed with Type1. She gets out then Covid. Depression sets in. 7th grade starts and she isn't the same. Scared to assert herself. Not making friends. Kids calling her the N word. Lucky for us volleyball creates a balance. She excels at that. Making elite teams at club, starting varsity, 1st team all district, but at school she is being ostracized. At first we think its because early teenager, and the usual struggles of girls that age, but then, through volleyball, we start to see that its simply "how things are" in areas like this. The light bulb kinda came on last year. The first tournament of the volleyball season we took the girls to eat and all the black girls meandered over to a table by themselves. In fact, of the 13 girls they all segregated. We lived in Woodland Hills in LA and it wasn't like this.

Wife is from the West Coast(chinese and white) and doesn't get it. I remember this from my time growing up. Daughter is growing increasingly frustrated. Boys ask her out to a dance but then come back and say they aren't allowed to go. Wife and Daughter are both complaining. Daughter is fighting some hardcore depression. My wife's reaction isn't making things better. Solution is pretty simple to me. Move or accept the fact that you aren't making friends here and build relationships with the girls on your club team from other schools. My "fixit" isn't appreciated. So I will just hang out over here until y'all figure it out.

maddening. One of the things I love for Rory growing up here in North Carolina is that there are so many more black people in every room. Not that there isn’t plenty of racism, just hoping that there’s less de facto segregation .

[Gatorubet 30185]

1 hour ago, pacman said:

Damn, the 21 year old and 16 year old got us professional pictures of them together. Not a dry eye from the parents side.

I told them the gift of the picture was wonderful. However, it was the act of spending the day together, and taking the pictures together, that really made the day for us.

[Thatguy 8681]

1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

maddening. One of the things I love for Rory growing up here in North Carolina is that there are so many more black people in every room. Not that there isn’t plenty of racism, just hoping that there’s less de facto segregation .

I used to live in Cary when I worked in the research triangle but that was before kids. You are correct that it is more mixed out there. I remember that standing out when I was there.

[mdmost 42999]

6 hours ago, Thatguy said:

Currently in this loop bigtime Brisket. Moved from LA to Houston to slow life down. Wife picks a lilly white suburb because the schools were great. Can't say as I blame because HISD. Anyway, kid is a super athletic, skinny little thing who never met anyone who wasn't a friend. We start the new school in 6th grade. A month in she is in the hospital diagnosed with Type1. She gets out then Covid. Depression sets in. 7th grade starts and she isn't the same. Scared to assert herself. Not making friends. Kids calling her the N word. Lucky for us volleyball creates a balance. She excels at that. Making elite teams at club, starting varsity, 1st team all district, but at school she is being ostracized. At first we think its because early teenager, and the usual struggles of girls that age, but then, through volleyball, we start to see that its simply "how things are" in areas like this. The light bulb kinda came on last year. The first tournament of the volleyball season we took the girls to eat and all the black girls meandered over to a table by themselves. In fact, of the 13 girls they all segregated. We lived in Woodland Hills in LA and it wasn't like this.

Wife is from the West Coast(chinese and white) and doesn't get it. I remember this from my time growing up. Daughter is growing increasingly frustrated. Boys ask her out to a dance but then come back and say they aren't allowed to go. Wife and Daughter are both complaining. Daughter is fighting some hardcore depression. My wife's reaction isn't making things better. Solution is pretty simple to me. Move or accept the fact that you aren't making friends here and build relationships with the girls on your club team from other schools. My "fixit" isn't appreciated. So I will just hang out over here until y'all figure it out.

Man, I'm so sorry she has to go through that. It's heartbreaking. I really don't get why teens are so shitty to one another. They're all in the same terrible boat together, where they have no control over much in this world but how they treat others. And instead of choosing kindness, they choose to destroy their peers. Maybe it's learned behavior or it's just the natural way they cope with this world. The scary part is the victim's young brains can't see beyond that week/month/year and some do awful things to themselves to cope. Then social media makes it where they can't escape it or some, like my oldest, seek out the pain and the drama. Then adding racism into the picture and it's another horrible layer she has to go through. Does she have a non-parent she can talk to? It might be good for her to have that outlet.

My kids go to predominately Hispanic schools and the stories they tell me about how racist those kids are towards African Americans, be the targets students or teachers is just astounding. Saying the n-word in the presence of AA teachers and students. I'm not sure why or when that became acceptable. My two claim they speak up when people are acting that way but it's definitely rolling a boulder uphill. My oldest tells me one of her teachers just left the school because students kept being racist towards her and she got tired of dealing with it. I'm not sure why the school isn't doing more to at least instruct these kids as to why their "jokes" aren't funny and use these moments as teachable moments to young shitasses to give them life skills.  

I told my two that we really need to work on resolutions this winter break and start enacting them this coming year. I'm going to try to force us all to volunteer at least once a month at a rotating selection of each of us. So one month, we can clean up White Rock Lake. The next month, go to the Stewpot in downtown Dallas and serve the homeless. We need them to be the change we all want in this world but my wife and I need to set the example better. There's so much bad stuff in this world so we need to try to find the light or bring the light to others. I also want them to gain more gratitude for what they have instead of always feeling like they don't have enough. 

Edited December 25, 2023 by mdmost

[hookem2010 2623]

10 hours ago, Thatguy said:

Currently in this loop bigtime Brisket. Moved from LA to Houston to slow life down. Wife picks a lilly white suburb because the schools were great. Can't say as I blame because HISD. Anyway, kid is a super athletic, skinny little thing who never met anyone who wasn't a friend. We start the new school in 6th grade. A month in she is in the hospital diagnosed with Type1. She gets out then Covid. Depression sets in. 7th grade starts and she isn't the same. Scared to assert herself. Not making friends. Kids calling her the N word. Lucky for us volleyball creates a balance. She excels at that. Making elite teams at club, starting varsity, 1st team all district, but at school she is being ostracized. At first we think its because early teenager, and the usual struggles of girls that age, but then, through volleyball, we start to see that its simply "how things are" in areas like this. The light bulb kinda came on last year. The first tournament of the volleyball season we took the girls to eat and all the black girls meandered over to a table by themselves. In fact, of the 13 girls they all segregated. We lived in Woodland Hills in LA and it wasn't like this.

Wife is from the West Coast(chinese and white) and doesn't get it. I remember this from my time growing up. Daughter is growing increasingly frustrated. Boys ask her out to a dance but then come back and say they aren't allowed to go. Wife and Daughter are both complaining. Daughter is fighting some hardcore depression. My wife's reaction isn't making things better. Solution is pretty simple to me. Move or accept the fact that you aren't making friends here and build relationships with the girls on your club team from other schools. My "fixit" isn't appreciated. So I will just hang out over here until y'all figure it out.

Man, that's some bullshit. My wife grew up as a Korean adopted into a white family in Colorado Springs. I'm white, grew up in Spring, TX. 

I'm sure we have it easy compared to other mixed race families, with our little one being light-haired and light-skinned. I know my wife dealt with plenty of racist shit growing up though. I got to experience some in-your-face racism when our cars and driveway got vandalized while living in Decatur for 18 months.

I never gave a thought as to where I would feel comfortable raising a family until the last few years. I'm so sorry your daughter has been made to feel unwelcome where she lives and goes to school. The Houston suburbs seemed liked a great, albeit boring, place to grow up as a white boy. As an adult, I see my parents and the friends they surrounded themselves with, and know that my hometown is not where I would want my kid to grow up. I just hope Round Rock ends up being a good place for our little guy.

[horn4life 3759]

My kids are out of the house for a while now, so anytime we can all get together is thrilling.

Though I did seriously think of pulling one of my most evil pranks early on Christmas Morning.  Just drive around the neighborhood at 4:45 am blasting my car horn helping the little ones rise early for Christmas morn... I think of a lot more evil shit that I do.  But it would have been funny...

[Knoxtnhorn 5971]

On 12/25/2023 at 8:39 AM, atomheartbevo said:

 

 

Dammit.  Too early in the morning for allergies.  My high school junior just got the :45 second part of the video.  He's fine.  Just somehow turned into the typical, eye-rolling teen that used to think things like this were funny.

[Thatguy 8681]

18 hours ago, mdmost said:

 

My kids go to predominately Hispanic schools and the stories they tell me about how racist those kids are towards African Americans, be the targets students or teachers is just astounding. Saying the n-word in the presence of AA teachers and students. I'm not sure why or when that became acceptable. My two claim they speak up when people are acting that way but it's definitely rolling a boulder uphill. My oldest tells me one of her teachers just left the school because students kept being racist towards her and she got tired of dealing with it. I'm not sure why the school isn't doing more to at least instruct these kids as to why their "jokes" aren't funny and use these moments as teachable moments to young shitasses to give them life skills.  

I told my two that we really need to work on resolutions this winter break and start enacting them this coming year. I'm going to try to force us all to volunteer at least once a month at a rotating selection of each of us. So one month, we can clean up White Rock Lake. The next month, go to the Stewpot in downtown Dallas and serve the homeless. We need them to be the change we all want in this world but my wife and I need to set the example better. There's so much bad stuff in this world so we need to try to find the light or bring the light to others. I also want them to gain more gratitude for what they have instead of always feeling like they don't have enough. 

2016 is when it became acceptable again to be outwardly racist, misogynistic, and homophobic.

It's an interesting conundrum that you find yourself in as a black person in Texas. You  work hard to get to a place in life where you can afford to put your children everywhere that a White American can. Then the question remains should you? On one hand you want them to get the highest level of education they can as well as live in an environment that is relatively safe. On the other you are made to feel unwelcome and your child is missing out on some of the cultural foundation that they would get in a relatively black community. What we've seen is that a lot of black people start out trying the area we live in out only to move somewhere else around the age they are heading into high school.

Well, we've decided we weren't running which has been rough on the kid. Here is a conversation I had with another volleyball dad friend of mine who's kid plays at the same club, but also for the school that we played at our gym. Apparently someone in the student section was calling players on the other team the N-word. Pretty embarrassing for me to have my friends being treated like that when they come to play us. We were also in the news this year for a middle school kid getting bullied through text messages by being called racial slurs. NAACP ended up getting involved. It was ugly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Thatguy 8681]

12 hours ago, hookem2010 said:

Man, that's some bullshit. My wife grew up as a Korean adopted into a white family in Colorado Springs. I'm white, grew up in Spring, TX. 

I'm sure we have it easy compared to other mixed race families, with our little one being light-haired and light-skinned. I know my wife dealt with plenty of racist shit growing up though. I got to experience some in-your-face racism when our cars and driveway got vandalized while living in Decatur for 18 months.

I never gave a thought as to where I would feel comfortable raising a family until the last few years. I'm so sorry your daughter has been made to feel unwelcome where she lives and goes to school. The Houston suburbs seemed liked a great, albeit boring, place to grow up as a white boy. As an adult, I see my parents and the friends they surrounded themselves with, and know that my hometown is not where I would want my kid to grow up. I just hope Round Rock ends up being a good place for our little guy.

You try to do the right thing as a parent. It's impossible to see the future. You can only make the best call and hope it works out. What an area was like for us and what its like now is hard to predict. These are different times with different issues. Though my daughter is seen as Black, she is actually Chinese, Black, and White. She would like to be accepted in all those communities and not just pushed into one because society says so. One of her grandpas looks like me. Her other grandpa looks almost exactly like Mr Miyagi(Pat Morita). We wish people would just accept her for who she is, and not cause her so much mental anguish because she is different.On the WC people thought she was an islander until they met her parents. Its been mainly Texas where the issues came into the picture. I know you probably won't have the same experiences, and that's a good thing. Growing up is hard enough on its own. Hope he has a wide road to navigate. 

[Al_4_ISU 12451]

23 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Sorry to hear that. It’s ultra-shitty, and makes me ashamed of my state. But more than that, hurting for your wife and your daughter. No words of wisdom to offer, I’ve been out of those for a while. Love each other.

If it makes you feel any better, people are shitty everywhere.  I live right next door to Minnesota, a place that many like to point out as some beacon of rural progressivism because of how the state votes, but the reality is that it votes that way because Minneapolis/St Paul has 70% of the state's population, and that city has the same politics of almost any large city.

We farm across the road from a guy who openly flies a Confederate flag, with no American flag in sight.  In blue state Minnesota that fought for the Union.  There are shitty people everywhere.

[mdmost 42999]

I hear you. Obviously, I can't imagine what that must feel like being a white male. I try to relay to my oldest how disheartening that treatment her teacher received must feel. The teacher who just left the school was incredibly credentialed, she volunteers at more organizations that I can list, she is in charge of her local sorority chapter, and is just a really sweet lady. And some of those shitbag students call her vile things within earshot and others said things that they may have just not known is not acceptable. So now because they are pieces of shit, the school has lost a tremendous resource that could help tons of students in the future as well as be a fantastic role model for AA students and students in general. But I also blame the school for not making things better for these teachers. It's a magnet school. You don't have to keep the shitbags there. You can send them back to their home schools. One kid did get sent home for things he said but I think she just had enough. 

I think Covid so f'ed our society up because it further entrenched these kids in social media during their formative years and as we all know social media brings out the worst in people. And now they are bringing that to real life. They get bombarded with terrible examples of how to behave. They get snark 24/7. It's disheartening as a parent because I was hoping this school would be a better experience for my kids and give them a nice melting pot to be immersed in.

[JesusSweatDuck 17781]

On 12/26/2023 at 9:41 AM, Thatguy said:

2016 is when it became acceptable again to be outwardly racist, misogynistic, and homophobic.

It's an interesting conundrum that you find yourself in as a black person in Texas. You  work hard to get to a place in life where you can afford to put your children everywhere that a White American can. Then the question remains should you? On one hand you want them to get the highest level of education they can as well as live in an environment that is relatively safe. On the other you are made to feel unwelcome and your child is missing out on some of the cultural foundation that they would get in a relatively black community. What we've seen is that a lot of black people start out trying the area we live in out only to move somewhere else around the age they are heading into high school.

Well, we've decided we weren't running which has been rough on the kid. Here is a conversation I had with another volleyball dad friend of mine who's kid plays at the same club, but also for the school that we played at our gym. Apparently someone in the student section was calling players on the other team the N-word. Pretty embarrassing for me to have my friends being treated like that when they come to play us. We were also in the news this year for a middle school kid getting bullied through text messages by being called racial slurs. NAACP ended up getting involved. It was ugly.

I know we've discussed this before, but my daughter finally full quit indoor and switched to beach.  She played for her school this year, but the toxicity on the team just made it a horrible experience.  I don't know what's wrong with the indoor sport, but it's full of horrible coaches, and I hate to say it, but terrible girls.  There are a lot of great kids, but there are so many entitled, hateful little shits that it ruins the sport.  Beach couldn't be more different.  None of the coaches are in it for the money, as there's not a lot of money to be made (yet).  If there's a toxic girl, you can quickly distance yourself from her and her family.

 

We went through a lot of the mental challenges your daughter is facing with ours (minus the racial stuff, and I'm not trying to downplay that) and I've posted about it on this thread previously.  One thing that I don't regret for any moment is getting her in therapy.  We actually lucked out, and ended up with a therapist who had played a D1 sport, and could relate to my daughter from that angle.  My daughter still struggles with various things, but that year of hard work in therapy dramatically improved her mental state.  We've seen that in her grades and social aspects.  While there are those shitty girls, saying sometimes horrible things, she's better equipped to process it with the right perspective.

 

I believe our daughters are the same age, if your daughter ever wants to try out some beach, my daughter is always willing to play with someone.

[Thatguy 8681]

1 hour ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

I know we've discussed this before, but my daughter finally full quit indoor and switched to beach.  She played for her school this year, but the toxicity on the team just made it a horrible experience.  I don't know what's wrong with the indoor sport, but it's full of horrible coaches, and I hate to say it, but terrible girls.  There are a lot of great kids, but there are so many entitled, hateful little shits that it ruins the sport.  Beach couldn't be more different.  None of the coaches are in it for the money, as there's not a lot of money to be made (yet).  If there's a toxic girl, you can quickly distance yourself from her and her family.

 

We went through a lot of the mental challenges your daughter is facing with ours (minus the racial stuff, and I'm not trying to downplay that) and I've posted about it on this thread previously.  One thing that I don't regret for any moment is getting her in therapy.  We actually lucked out, and ended up with a therapist who had played a D1 sport, and could relate to my daughter from that angle.  My daughter still struggles with various things, but that year of hard work in therapy dramatically improved her mental state.  We've seen that in her grades and social aspects.  While there are those shitty girls, saying sometimes horrible things, she's better equipped to process it with the right perspective.

 

I believe our daughters are the same age, if your daughter ever wants to try out some beach, my daughter is always willing to play with someone.

You are damn nails on about indoor volleyball being pretty ugly, especially at schools. I know I said it upstream but we were ranked like between 6 and 10 in the state at various points of the season. As such we molly-whop just about every team we play, losing zero district games. We have 4 Outside Hitters, 2 Middle Blockers, two Right Sides, and so on. We are good enough that we can beat anyone in our district save one team with backups. So coach pulls the starters when we play them, which is good to get your loyal backups some pt. However, since she had an agenda to get one of our OH's the MVP she let her play against those softer teams to pad her stats while everyone else had to sit. The end result was her getting a ton more swings than the next kid. My daughter and her were the two rotating at OH. They played the same minutes otherwise but this kid had 485 more swings than my daughter did, all to win her an award. Meanwhile, when you funnel a ball through a single player that much when she has an off game you are out, which is what happened.

We are already seeing a therapist. We were seeing one over the summer but then the schedule got weird but we are back on track now, and we couldn't agree more. Hopefully as time goes on she gets to be more like your daughter and things smooth out.

[JesusSweatDuck 17781]

2 hours ago, Thatguy said:

You are damn nails on about indoor volleyball being pretty ugly, especially at schools. I know I said it upstream but we were ranked like between 6 and 10 in the state at various points of the season. As such we molly-whop just about every team we play, losing zero district games. We have 4 Outside Hitters, 2 Middle Blockers, two Right Sides, and so on. We are good enough that we can beat anyone in our district save one team with backups. So coach pulls the starters when we play them, which is good to get your loyal backups some pt. However, since she had an agenda to get one of our OH's the MVP she let her play against those softer teams to pad her stats while everyone else had to sit. The end result was her getting a ton more swings than the next kid. My daughter and her were the two rotating at OH. They played the same minutes otherwise but this kid had 485 more swings than my daughter did, all to win her an award. Meanwhile, when you funnel a ball through a single player that much when she has an off game you are out, which is what happened.

We are already seeing a therapist. We were seeing one over the summer but then the schedule got weird but we are back on track now, and we couldn't agree more. Hopefully as time goes on she gets to be more like your daughter and things smooth out.

Well your coach could be like our coach and just make stats up for her favorite players.  It's ridiculous and wasn't worth the mental anguish.  We had 3 girls quit during the season this year, and had 2 last year.  

[Thatguy 8681]

6 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Well your coach could be like our coach and just make stats up for her favorite players.  It's ridiculous and wasn't worth the mental anguish.  We had 3 girls quit during the season this year, and had 2 last year.  

I swear I am not trying to play the one up game but I have to say this. My daughter and this other kid played the same position. My kid is a big enough threat that if she is given the same opportunities she could possibly supplant this kid as a kid to watch for the MVP race. However, she did the aforementioned crap to make sure that wasn't the case. Some days the stats would go in 15 minutes after the game was over and sometimes they wouldn't get updated until the next day. Took me awhile, but I eventually realized that the days they got updated the next day were days that the other girl didn't have a good game and she didn't want the press writing about another kid leading the team to victory. My kid had 40 kills vs a pretty solid team while also hitting .400. She came home excited to see what the papers said and nothing. The papers get their info from MaxPreps/the coaches, and none of it had been updated. The game was at home so no excuses. The issue was the other girl hit under .100.

Anyway, I appreciate the offer for beach. I wish my kid would play beach but she doesn't like it. It would help her game tremendously. She could use the finesse.

[SurlyGator 865]

VB dad talk not going away.  I am resisting the urge to participate, since I also qualify.

[Thatguy 8681]

20 hours ago, SurlyGator said:

VB dad talk not going away.  I am resisting the urge to participate, since I also qualify.

I know a lot of the guys who are on here frown on this but considering the snail's pace this thread has moved over the years maybe we should be more open here. We have only 60 pages here despite most guys here being fathers. Some of the younger dads could learn a thing or two as well as the dads that went through it being a helpful ear. I am lucky to have had a guy who is a couple years older than me who just had his kid recruited and signed to help me along my journey. I would say speak up.

[mdmost 42999]

People could always just skim past something they don't like or find interest in. I'm not sure why we have to make posts that please everyone. If being a VB dad is a big part of your daddying experience then have at it. My younger one only played some Y VB for a year so I'm not going to be big on that discussion. 

First day of teaching the older one to drive went well. I took her up to the local community college since it has a giant, empty parking lot right now. We'll go back this afternoon to do some practice on parking. There were some cones up there I was going to commandeer for parallel parking training. These kids don't realize how easy they have it with backup cameras. You know how many poles I wouldn't have dinged my car with if I had that? 

[Celery Man 20932]

I’m generally interested. Or, I want my daughter to learn about being on a team, I want her to be active, I want her to do real extracurriculars in HS, I don’t want to mortgage the home to do travel sports or burn her out before she graduates from high school. It’s on topic, thread is mostly little kid shit otherwise.

[CleverNickname 1308]

My daughter does lacrosse. Frankly, they need bodies to fill out a squad. They are always recruiting - not one of those sports where you need to start in the 2nd grade. She likes it, and has done summer camp. Counts as PE in high school. Club sport, but earn that letter jacket, etc.

Edited December 28, 2023 by CleverNickname

[Dutchrudder 11134]

Just out of curiosity, what age did y'all stop with the Santa stuff?

We have a 2 and 4 year old, and they both still believe in Santa big time. The older one really believes because I always put on a Santa suit on Christmas Eve and pretend to be putting presents under the tree, and eating the cookies and milk. My wife goes and wakes him up quietly to watch this little show, which has solidified the legend for him. It's fun, but probably not going to work in a year or two. Wife isn't too keen on the idea of it, and seems to think it will be a problem for him, since kids tend to find out the truth around 6-7 years old.

[Anastasis 23463]

4 minutes ago, Dutchrudder said:

Just out of curiosity, what age did y'all stop with the Santa stuff?

We have a 2 and 4 year old, and they both still believe in Santa big time. The older one really believes because I always put on a Santa suit on Christmas Eve and pretend to be putting presents under the tree, and eating the cookies and milk. My wife goes and wakes him up quietly to watch this little show, which has solidified the legend for him. It's fun, but probably not going to work in a year or two. Wife isn't too keen on the idea of it, and seems to think it will be a problem for him, since kids tend to find out the truth around 6-7 years old.

We never did the hard sell on Santa but all my kids still love to play along. Not sure where the youngest is at. He wrote a letter to Santa this year asking for a dog. I told him that Santa doesn’t traffic live animals. He responded “maybe mom will figure it out”. Little shit got a dog for Christmas. 

[InkaUtexas 25867]

So he got a friend for a long time. Nothing wrong with that.

[Fudbelty 2788]

My boy is 7 (8 in Jan) and still believes. Our Santa has always just done one big unwrapped present every year. Girls are 14 And 11 and obviously don’t believe but play it up for him.

I was talking to the wife at 2:30a Christmas Eve about how maybe next year or year after we won’t have to put anything together on Christmas again. I’m going to miss having really young kids but that’s one thing I won’t.

[Thatguy 8681]

6 hours ago, Celery Man said:

I’m generally interested. Or, I want my daughter to learn about being on a team, I want her to be active, I want her to do real extracurriculars in HS, I don’t want to mortgage the home to do travel sports or burn her out before she graduates from high school. It’s on topic, thread is mostly little kid shit otherwise.

The problem with sports nowadays is that once they get to the high school level if they want to keep playing they are likely to be forced into playing travel club sports. The other kids at the school are also playing that level so they will need that experience just to make the team. At my daughter's school freshman, JV, and Varsity kids all play club. If you don't play club you won't even make the team. Not all sports are like that but most of them are so you have a decision to make.

[CTC2 2791]

2 hours ago, Fudbelty said:

My boy is 7 (8 in Jan) and still believes. Our Santa has always just done one big unwrapped present every year. Girls are 14 And 11 and obviously don’t believe but play it up for him.

I was talking to the wife at 2:30a Christmas Eve about how maybe next year or year after we won’t have to put anything together on Christmas again. I’m going to miss having really young kids but that’s one thing I won’t.

There will be a time where you will kind of revise history and really miss those days. I do. 
I actually thought I could put together a large trampoline by myself in the dark. I did it but it was rough. Looking back I can say I do kind of miss even that. 

Edited December 29, 2023 by CTC2

[InkaUtexas 25867]

11 minutes ago, CTC2 said:

There will be a time where you will kind of revise history and really miss those days. I do. 
I actually thought I could put together a large trampoline by myself in the dark. I did it but it was rough. Looking back I can say I do kind of miss even that. 

Tree house before dawn. Yep, loved every minute now, was pissed off then.

[CleverNickname 1308]

10 hours ago, Fudbelty said:

My boy is 7 (8 in Jan) and still believes. 

https://youtu.be/F1JaVe3kXpc?si=ODU3ZMW0r_4sUMoV

[Murfdogg21 4412]

11 hours ago, Dutchrudder said:

Just out of curiosity, what age did y'all stop with the Santa stuff?

We have a 2 and 4 year old, and they both still believe in Santa big time. The older one really believes because I always put on a Santa suit on Christmas Eve and pretend to be putting presents under the tree, and eating the cookies and milk. My wife goes and wakes him up quietly to watch this little show, which has solidified the legend for him. It's fun, but probably not going to work in a year or two. Wife isn't too keen on the idea of it, and seems to think it will be a problem for him, since kids tend to find out the truth around 6-7 years old.

We have 6 and 4 yr olds and hope(d) to keep it going a few more years, then just all keep pretending indefinitely without any conversation 😂 

This December, a kid of non-Christian religion in my 6 yr old’s first grade class took it upon himself to lecture the entire class at lunch on the issue, and likely regurgitated what his mother told him due to use of words. My son came back and repeated it to me, that “Christian parents enjoy lying to their kids to make themselves feel better, and they coordinate with Amazon to deliver presents on Christmas Eve. So it’s the Amazon delivery truck that comes while they sleep, not Santa Claus.” I laughed at the latter part, but wanted to call the bitch up and tell her fuck herself for the first part of that. It’s not her right or responsibility to educate the first grade class, and it also fucks with every family that has younger siblings. I told my kid only believers get loot from Santa, so he better keep believing.

[Snake Diggity 4620]

14 hours ago, Dutchrudder said:

Just out of curiosity, what age did y'all stop with the Santa stuff?

We have a 2 and 4 year old, and they both still believe in Santa big time. The older one really believes because I always put on a Santa suit on Christmas Eve and pretend to be putting presents under the tree, and eating the cookies and milk. My wife goes and wakes him up quietly to watch this little show, which has solidified the legend for him. It's fun, but probably not going to work in a year or two. Wife isn't too keen on the idea of it, and seems to think it will be a problem for him, since kids tend to find out the truth around 6-7 years old.

My 5 and 8 year old still believed this year.  It will not surprise me at all if this was the last year for the older one.  My goal was to make it to 8, so I’m satisfied if this is the last year both believe.  8 gives them 5 good years (starting at age 4) where they’re old enough to know what’s going on and remember later in life but young enough not to get made fun of at school.  Once my youngest turns 10 we will talk openly about Santa not being real and have a heart to heart to make sure they understand why we “tricked” them.  
 

We don’t really build up Santa that much because of all the implications of inequality and religion, but we’ve done enough to give them the Christmas magic.  I’m really gonna miss it.  

[tbone_ 14112]

us never acknowledging or crediting Santa for anything.

Why do you hate God and America?

[Jkwellborn 6691]

I know a lot of the guys who are on here frown on this but considering the snail's pace this thread has moved over the years maybe we should be more open here. We have only 60 pages here despite most guys here being fathers. Some of the younger dads could learn a thing or two as well as the dads that went through it being a helpful ear. I am lucky to have had a guy who is a couple years older than me who just had his kid recruited and signed to help me along my journey. I would say speak up.

You could start a separate thread on the subject. It would make it earlier to find information for guys that would be looking and stop other posters from shitting on the subject. Just make it about kids sports in general above a certain age.

[Jkwellborn 6691]

Just out of curiosity, what age did y'all stop with the Santa stuff?
We have a 2 and 4 year old, and they both still believe in Santa big time. The older one really believes because I always put on a Santa suit on Christmas Eve and pretend to be putting presents under the tree, and eating the cookies and milk. My wife goes and wakes him up quietly to watch this little show, which has solidified the legend for him. It's fun, but probably not going to work in a year or two. Wife isn't too keen on the idea of it, and seems to think it will be a problem for him, since kids tend to find out the truth around 6-7 years old.

My son stopped believing at 7. My daughter may have been a little older since shes 4 years older than he is and we always made a big deal with the elves and Santa. Not actually spending much money on Santa gifts, but going with it. I think I mentioned it upthread somewhere, but his final Christmas believing, he really wanted some G1 Transformers, particularly Optimus Prime and the trailer. I managed to find one and a few other Transformers he asked for on EBay. He was absolutely ecstatic when he opened it.

My daughter helped with all of the elves and Santa stuff to make sure he believed too. It was great.

[Guest]

My kid just had his 7th Christmas. He's full blown into believing in Santa.

I think I'm actually going to be a little disappointed if he is still believing at 8. He seems smart enough to figure out all the inconsistencies. 

[InkaUtexas 25867]

So you are telling me Santa is not real? HOLY SHIT.....

One of the best things about being a dad is playing Santa. One day I told my son, well see, Santa does not always want milk. It is cold in that altitude flying from place to place. Sometimes he wants  a nice scotch. Go in once he is asleep and there are two cookies (one for Santa and one for Rudolph) and a full pour of single malt.

He is now 25 so that does not exist anymore, but he did send me a nice bottle to Dad from Santa. I like my kid.

[Jkwellborn 6691]

So you are telling me Santa is not real? HOLY SHIT.....
One of the best things about being a dad is playing Santa. One day I told my son, well see, Santa does not always want milk. It is cold in that altitude flying from place to place. Sometimes he wants  a nice scotch. Go in once he is asleep and there are two cookies (one for Santa and one for Rudolph) and a full pour of single malt.
He is now 25 so that does not exist anymore, but he did send me a nice bottle to Dad from Santa. I like my kid.

At this point, I think Santa is more for parents than kids. The best Christmas mornings were watching the kids sprint to the living room to see what was there, checking to see if Santa ate the cookies, looking to see if the reindeer food was gone and being sad the elves left. I nearly did all of that anyway.

[mdmost 42999]

I never understood why for some parents that Santa is this terrible thing to have your kids still believing in. My two believed in him well into 6th grade. I guess they didn't have kids dispelling the notion for them or talking about Santa just wasn't brought up a lot. They got extra gifts so they enjoyed it. Our rule was always if they said they didn't believe, we wouldn't fight them on it. My older one once asked her mom in I think 3rd grade if Santa was still real and the wife said "what do you believe". Older one said she still believed and the wife said then that's all that matters. We had the talk with both last year about them no longer believing and they both said how much they appreciated me staying up super late to build toys for them and doing things like eating the cookies we made. They enjoyed the magic and miss it a little bit. I think they miss the extra big present that Santa got them more. Childhood needs to still have magic for everyone before the hard reality of teendom kicks in. We never used Santa as a discipline device. It's why I detest Elf on the Shelf. To each his own but it wasn't for me. 

[CleverNickname 1308]

Hell, my daughter was far too mercenary and pragmatic to believe after like kindergarten. I remember she asked me if we would take in grandma's cat if grandma died. I told her yes, and told granny to watch her back.