Surly Dad Thread

[YGIFS 19456]

Any Austin-area surly dads feeling sick from something their kids likely brought home from myriad camps/activities?  I've been stuck at home for work and only leave to go walk around outside and every now and again pickup some food.  Started yesterday, my little one has a cough/slight fever.  Mine came on about 24 hours ago and is getting worse.  Mid-range fever, coughing up a lung, no appetite.  Took a Covid-19 test earlier, gonna take another one before bed.  What are the predominant symptoms on this latest variant?  I guessing it's just the same shit she always brings home, but this came outta nowhere...I usually get some lag time when she sounds like this.  She's turning cartwheels and I'm having trouble taking a piss.  /rant 

Thanks.

[mdmost 43847]

On 7/22/2024 at 7:33 PM, tbone_ said:

It’s not you that needs prayer. It’s us.

Ha. Not really. She got points deducted on her driving test for being too tentative and cautious. If anything, she'll drive like a grandma. Luckily her only real driving will be to school and back. Maybe some trips to places her and her sister want to go to that I do not like the mall. 

[mdmost 43847]

Well we got the kid a car. Called the insurance to talk about what the rates might be. I'm so screwed. 

[jimmyjazz 46964]

1 hour ago, mdmost said:

Well we got the kid a car. Called the insurance to talk about what the rates might be. I'm so screwed. 

Bought the wife a new 2024 VW yesterday.  I get her 2015 4Runner.  My son gets my 2015 Toyota sedan.  RIP, sedan.  At least he was already on our insurance (holy jesus).

[Underdog 29099]

Apologies if already discussed but Home Depot up near Carrollton has a kids event once a month where they’re given a kit to build something.  Jr took the granddaughter there and they built and painted a foosball game, pretty cool and not sure who enjoyed it more, the kids or dads. 
 

All HDs in DFW do this? 

[Jkwellborn 7006]

Apologies if already discussed but Home Depot up near Carrollton has a kids event once a month where they’re given a kit to build something.  Jr took the granddaughter there and they built and painted a foosball game, pretty cool and not sure who enjoyed it more, the kids or dads. 
 


All HDs in DFW do this? 

At one time, they all did that. Covid fucked a bunch of stuff up. I think my local one has started back though.

[MinerProphet 71]

On 7/27/2024 at 6:37 PM, mdmost said:

Well we got the kid a car. Called the insurance to talk about what the rates might be. I'm so screwed. 

What kind of car is everyone getting their first time drivers? I've googled "most safe vehicles" to get a baseline, but trying to balance optimizing on year, mileage and reliability as well.

[mdmost 43847]

14 hours ago, MinerProphet said:

What kind of car is everyone getting their first time drivers? I've googled "most safe vehicles" to get a baseline, but trying to balance optimizing on year, mileage and reliability as well.

We got her a car that was safe for the year it was released based on the IIHS ratings which is a 2020 Ford Escape. It's a smallish SUV that Ford stopped making recently except in EV styles. We had looked at a 2017 Volvo S60 but it was hard finding one that I wasn't leery of getting for her based on the places that were selling them. Felt pretty sketchy and she wasn't that big of a fan combined with various weird aspects. We were also looking at a 2020 Kia Sportage but it felt too basic compared to the Ford Escape. The model we found had super low mileage (23K), no accidents, and was a certified pre-own so we get some additional years of the warranty. Since she's looking to go off to college out of state, the low mileage made sense. I got it from a Kia dealership and it was priced a hell of a lot better than other models that had dings, previous minor accidents, and higher mileage. 

Here's the site we used, the numbers they use did not reflect what I could find here in Dallas which were a lot higher than their average prices:

https://www.iihs.org/ratings/safe-vehicles-for-teens

[tbone_ 14405]

What kind of car is everyone getting their first time drivers? I've googled "most safe vehicles" to get a baseline, but trying to balance optimizing on year, mileage and reliability as well.

I gave my daughter my couple years old Grand Cherokee. Which she wrecked (minor) 3 times.

Shortly after she turned 17 we got her a new Hyundai Tucson hybrid. Which will last her until she wants to spend her own money on a car. Great little SUV imo.

[BrazilHorn 6789]

16 hours ago, MinerProphet said:

What kind of car is everyone getting their first time drivers? I've googled "most safe vehicles" to get a baseline, but trying to balance optimizing on year, mileage and reliability as well.

We got our son a mazda cx-5:

can’t go that fast

can’t put a bunch of people in it

be tough to have sex in it without some solid flexibility 

All in all great car for a kid 

[BigDHornfan 6625]

Mom and I are Proud Parents today.

This kid has learned a lot this summer.

He said at the beginning of summer he wanted a PS5.

We told him it was too expensive right now and if it was something he really wanted he’d have to work at it and save for it.

Well fast forward 7 weeks and numerous hours spent in the heat he has enough in his bank account.

He’s made enough money selling lemonade this summer.

He’s learned a lot too,

He’s had to buy all of his own supplies using his profits.

Just went to Best Buy and let him do the entire transaction by himself with his own debit card.

It’s been awesome getting feedback from his customers how nice and polite he is!

At least we’ve instilled that into him.

Now we need to work on his home attitude!

 

[Thatguy 9286]

Well Surly, she made it! The kid was offered and she accepted. We now have a D1 volleyball commit. It was a lot of hard work and frustration getting here but the look on her face when the coach offered her over the phone was worth every bit of it. 16 years old and making big life decisions.

[BurntOrange&White 41643]

So is going up in ounces fed, nipple flow rate on bottles, diapers just a guessing game? It feels like a guessing game. lol

[Goofyboy 3428]

So is going up in ounces fed, nipple flow rate on bottles, diapers just a guessing game? It feels like a guessing game. lol

Yes. We basically knew it was new diaper time when my son would have a blowout - especially up his back. I do not miss those days.

[Murfdogg21 4547]

On 7/29/2024 at 4:08 PM, BrazilHorn said:

We got our son a mazda cx-5:

can’t go that fast

can’t put a bunch of people in it

be tough to have sex in it without some solid flexibility 

All in all great car for a kid 

Why are you cockblocking the lad?

[InkaUtexas 26794]

Son just just got engaged to his long term girlfriend. Happy she is in the family officially.

But damn I feel old.

[BrazilHorn 6789]

1 hour ago, Murfdogg21 said:

Why are you cockblocking the lad?

Just want to ensure that he keeps up his hip flexibility as he plays in the secondary and wrestles. If you want something bad enough you work at it. Just not going to make it easy on the kid.

[JesusSweatDuck 18045]

On 8/5/2024 at 1:59 PM, Thatguy said:

Well Surly, she made it! The kid was offered and she accepted. We now have a D1 volleyball commit. It was a lot of hard work and frustration getting here but the look on her face when the coach offered her over the phone was worth every bit of it. 16 years old and making big life decisions.

We're a couple steps behind you.  She has done a couple unofficials, and has an official scheduled.  She didn't get contacted (or even email responses from her top 5 schools, but got 3 out of her next 5.  All D1 schools, but on the smaller side.  A couple are really good fits with her degree program.  Fingers crossed it all works out.

[Thatguy 9286]

3 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

We're a couple steps behind you.  She has done a couple unofficials, and has an official scheduled.  She didn't get contacted (or even email responses from her top 5 schools, but got 3 out of her next 5.  All D1 schools, but on the smaller side.  A couple are really good fits with her degree program.  Fingers crossed it all works out.

We told her to ignore the volleyball program and focus on the location of the school and the quality of the academics. She chose a smaller D1 as well. If you aren't at one of about 10 schools you aren't winning the national championship anyway. The school she is at is a private college and solid academically. She will be in the NE, so she will have to get used to cold weather, but the kid is looking to get her doctorate so she is on the right path. Good luck to you guys. I know she is going to be announcing here soon. It's been a frustrating journey at times but seeing her face when the coach offered was worth all the trouble.

[JesusSweatDuck 18045]

34 minutes ago, Thatguy said:

We told her to ignore the volleyball program and focus on the location of the school and the quality of the academics. She chose a smaller D1 as well. If you aren't at one of about 10 schools you aren't winning the national championship anyway. The school she is at is a private college and solid academically. She will be in the NE, so she will have to get used to cold weather, but the kid is looking to get her doctorate so she is on the right path. Good luck to you guys. I know she is going to be announcing here soon. It's been a frustrating journey at times but seeing her face when the coach offered was worth all the trouble.

We've been preaching that where ever she picks she needs to also be content without volleyball.  You never know when something major may happen or the coach leaves, or the changing tides of the NCAA blow something up.  If you're at a school just for the athletics, you're kinda screwed.  If you're at a school where you have both, you're still in a good spot.  

[High Plains Drifter 11159]

 

Daughter is starting High School in a week. Getting ready to head over to freshman orientation in an hour. 

She's trying out for volleyball. I've been driving her to 5am(!) practices all this week. Then driving her again to marching band practice at 10 am (she's already part of the drumline). Then back again for evening vb practice. She finds out Thursday if she made the team. The coach has been having her practice at middle hitter, if that's the right term. 

Stress levels (her and me) are intensifying. I'm too old for this shit.  

She is also going out for golf. No stress there, they'll be lucky to have five girls total playing. Plus, that is something we can do (and have done) together. Got her hooked on golf by letting her drive the golf cart when she was little. 

Finally, also track in the spring. In middle school, she ran the 400, 800, and high jump. We'll see if that lasts or not. 

She was playing softball in middle school and with a league. Made all stars playing first base, but gave that up. 

 

 

[JesusSweatDuck 18045]

25 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Daughter is starting High School in a week. Getting ready to head over to freshman orientation in an hour. 

She's trying out for volleyball. I've been driving her to 5am(!) practices all this week. Then driving her again to marching band practice at 10 am (she's already part of the drumline). Then back again for evening vb practice. She finds out Thursday if she made the team. The coach has been having her practice at middle hitter, if that's the right term. 

Stress levels (her and me) are intensifying. I'm too old for this shit.  

She is also going out for golf. No stress there, they'll be lucky to have five girls total playing. Plus, that is something we can do (and have done) together. Got her hooked on golf by letting her drive the golf cart when she was little. 

Finally, also track in the spring. In middle school, she ran the 400, 800, and high jump. We'll see if that lasts or not. 

She was playing softball in middle school and with a league. Made all stars playing first base, but gave that up. 

 

 

Volleyball and band will be hard because they both typically play/perform on Fridays.  My daughter missed a lot of football games because she was playing.

[Celery Man 21076]

1 hour ago, Thatguy said:

We told her to ignore the volleyball program and focus on the location of the school and the quality of the academics. She chose a smaller D1 as well. If you aren't at one of about 10 schools you aren't winning the national championship anyway. The school she is at is a private college and solid academically. She will be in the NE, so she will have to get used to cold weather, but the kid is looking to get her doctorate so she is on the right path. Good luck to you guys. I know she is going to be announcing here soon. It's been a frustrating journey at times but seeing her face when the coach offered was worth all the trouble.

Ah good, so not aggy, congrats

[Thatguy 9286]

2 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Ah good, so not aggy, congrats

I told her no Texas A&m, A&M Corpus Christi, A&M Dallas, A&M Houston, A&M Kingsville, A&M McAllen, A&M Round Rock and A&M Temple. No playing for a coach that ever played for aggy, corched for aggy, or even has been to the Dixie Chicken. If your school has maroon in their colors she isn't playing for you. If your school has aggy in its name she isn't playing for you just so I don't have to say my daughter is an aggy.

[mdmost 43847]

Took our youngest to her Meet the Teacher night for freshman year of high school. She got really excited. She's ready to go back to school. Her older sister goes there as well but I told her to be her own person and not just "______'s sister". Her older sister isn't a risk taker and is not someone who likes to try new things. The younger one wants to find out about clubs, things like the Debate Team, Model UN, etc. She's also ready to be out of junior high which she did not enjoy. She was a great student but did not like most of the people in her school. She's definitely an atypical kid and doesn't like all the things kids her age might. I'm very hopeful that this school will be a gateway to a much larger opportunity for her. She's doing the law school portion of this magnet school which is a lot more rigorous than what her sister is doing. Sadly, they don't offer sports. You would have to play for your home school and they don't offer transportation to get you there in time for practices. I may help her investigate it for volleyball but she's not a natural athlete. I have a friend whose kid goes to the same school and he plays soccer for their local home high school. 

I think I've shared the struggles with my older one on here before. She's doing so much better now than previous years. She's driving, she's a lot more responsible. She's eating with no issues (ARFID/anorexic). She's talking about colleges she's interested in. On her own, she signed up for an online information session for a college in Iowa and really liked what she heard. We are so far away from those scary times when she was 13-14 and I was worried I might be planning a funeral for her. It makes my heart smile that she finally is figuring things out. She was never really forward thinking and now she's all about what the future might hold for her. We only have 2 more years of her at home before she goes off in the world. It really just flies by.  

[Armybrat 41311]

My youngest grandson is heading to Austin High in two weeks. His older brother was the first member of my extensive family to attend & graduate there.

Am very glad his dad got him into the Zilker/O’Henry track after he was kicked out of Montessori when he was 5. (For mooning the girls on the playground).

Knock on wood, but oldest grandson seems to have been a responsible driver since he got his license. No tickets or accidents thatwe know of so far. 
He inherited Mrs. Brat’s old 2006 Pontiac G6 to drive to school when he was 17, but when he turned 21 earlier this year I gave him my 2019 Civic EX coupe (with 14,000 miles on the clock). 
He was thrilled to say the least, especially when my wife volunteered us to pay for his insurance ($325/month) (holy sheeit!)

 

[High Plains Drifter 11159]

11 hours ago, Thatguy said:

I told her no Texas A&m, A&M Corpus Christi, A&M Dallas, A&M Houston, A&M Kingsville, A&M McAllen, A&M Round Rock and A&M Temple. No playing for a coach that ever played for aggy, corched for aggy, or even has been to the Dixie Chicken. If your school has maroon in their colors she isn't playing for you. If your school has aggy in its name she isn't playing for you just so I don't have to say my daughter is an aggy.

 

Texas A&M Qatar then?

 

[Thatguy 9286]

5 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Texas A&M Qatar then?

 

You bastard! Them too

[JesusSweatDuck 18045]

1 hour ago, Thatguy said:

You bastard! Them too

Selling nuclear secrets could be profitable, just saying

[Buzzrock 15115]

Just dropped off the oldest (and only daughter) at college. It was awful and wonderful, basically a microcosm of parenting in general. Neighbors are having a happy hour which is great timing, I’m tired of crying.

So proud of her. So excited to watch her go live her life. And so crushed that she won’t be here when I wake up any more.

[atomheartbevo 90542]

 

[Brisketexan 106610]

In London, visiting the daughter for the first time since she moved here. She’s got a job now (starts in a week). She’s grown up a whole lot. Living in a big-ass city like this has tested her. She doesn’t love the city, but she knows that about herself now. And, she’d figured out how to handle it.

We spent the day up in her hood, Hackney. Has a real Brooklyn feel to it, lots of immigrants too.






She’s got a room in a flat with a nice garden.



Then the Tottenham-Bayern match.



Then she took us to her favorite Turkish barbecue, back in her hood. 100% local joint - I’m sure we were the only “tourists.”




She’s making her way. She’s growing up. She’s learning about herself, and a lot more.

And she’s so fucking brave. This has been hard for her, she’s had real anxiety, getting here involved some real unhappiness. So getting here, moving forward with determination to find and forge a path, took courage. I think she’s learning that the things in life that matter require that - courage and believing in yourself.

I’m really, really fucking proud of her.

[Thatguy 9286]

On 8/7/2024 at 5:34 PM, JesusSweatDuck said:

Volleyball and band will be hard because they both typically play/perform on Fridays.  My daughter missed a lot of football games because she was playing.

Speaking of high school volleyball. As you know the varsity girls have to pick a little(someone to mentor). So my daughter picks a little. They have to go to their house and kidnap them, mask and everything, then take them to the sleepover where the entire program has an overnight hangout. Cool team bonding thing. So my daughter calls me and asks what years I was at Texas. I tell her and then ask her why. She said well then you may know Mr Giles. I ask her what his first name is and she says Oscar. I laugh and tell her I absolutely know who he is. Turns out the Giles family moved to our hood and his daughters play volleyball. His daughter is my daughter's little.

[jimmyjazz 46964]

32 minutes ago, Thatguy said:

Speaking of high school volleyball. As you know the varsity girls have to pick a little(someone to mentor). So my daughter picks a little. They have to go to their house and kidnap them, mask and everything, then take them to the sleepover where the entire program has an overnight hangout. Cool team bonding thing. So my daughter calls me and asks what years I was at Texas. I tell her and then ask her why. She said well then you may know Mr Giles. I ask her what his first name is and she says Oscar. I laugh and tell her I absolutely know who he is. Turns out the Giles family moved to our hood and his daughters play volleyball. His daughter is my daughter's little.

Oscar!  His daughters are probably insanely athletic.  My daughter went to school with Ricky's kid and Bo Davis' kid, the genes don't seem to have any problem manifesting one generation down.

[tbone_ 14405]

Just dropped off the oldest (and only daughter) at college. It was awful and wonderful, basically a microcosm of parenting in general. Neighbors are having a happy hour which is great timing, I’m tired of crying.

So proud of her. So excited to watch her go live her life. And so crushed that she won’t be here when I wake up any more.

This is awesome. Next year for me.

Where did she go?

[JesusSweatDuck 18045]

On 8/9/2024 at 4:16 PM, Buzzrock said:

Just dropped off the oldest (and only daughter) at college. It was awful and wonderful, basically a microcosm of parenting in general. Neighbors are having a happy hour which is great timing, I’m tired of crying.

So proud of her. So excited to watch her go live her life. And so crushed that she won’t be here when I wake up any more.

I'm dreading it. My daughter is my sidekick, we have the same sense of humor, and generally enjoy similar things. I can't wait for her to become even more independent but there will be a massive hole in this house when she moves out

[jimmyjazz 46964]

2 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

I'm dreading it. My daughter is my sidekick, we have the same sense of humor, and generally enjoy similar things. I can't wait for her to become even more independent but there will be a massive hole in this house when she moves out

I've said it a thousand times, and I'm not anything but the same as every dad:  there is nothing like a father/daughter relationship.  The good news for you is that you will still get to revel in her growth and accomplishments.  Yeah, it kinda sucks that there are two roofs involved, but it is so rewarding to see them flourish and be a better person than you could have ever hoped for. 

Oh yeah, and the part where they never take shit from dickhead guys . . . that part is extra awesome.

 

 

Edited August 11 by jimmyjazz

[JesusSweatDuck 18045]

6 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

I've said it a thousand times, and I'm not anything but the same as every dad:  there is nothing like a father/daughter relationship.  The good news for you is that you will still get to revel in her growth and accomplishments.  Yeah, it kinda sucks that there are two roofs involved, but it is so rewarding to see them flourish and be a better person than you could have ever hoped for. 

Oh yeah, and the part where they never take shit from dickhead guys . . . that part is extra awesome.

 

 

Thanks man, I needed that today. Hook em

[mdmost 43847]

Older daughter drove the younger daughter this morning to the first day of school for both. I have become even less useful. 

[Jerry Callo 8951]

We move my youngest into her college apartment this Friday.  It was great having her around this summer, but I know she'll have an apartment though the summers from here on.  It's tough having them move out and only seeing or talking to them every once in a while.

[tbone_ 14405]

Older daughter drove the younger daughter this morning to the first day of school for both. I have become even less useful. 

Yes but holy shit is that liberating

[mdmost 43847]

Yeah I don't miss the drive in and the first week is nuts with all the panicked new parents dropping kids off. My wife was freaking out thinking I should've driven them in and my oldest wasn't ready to do it. I told her no because she needs to learn how to do this and navigate things like traffic backups, when to let people in or not, or when to go around people who are clueless. I've coached and trained her on driving for half a year to make this same daily drive. I can't always be there for her to make sure she knows what she's doing. Some of it is just going to be blind faith.

And we come full circle to the problem I've found in some parenting, a lot of moms just can't let go with always wanting to catch their kids when they fall. It was actually a great point the therapist who lead the dads support group for the place we sent her for a time spelled out as to why he wanted to have sessions with dads about how their kid's treatment was going. Dads are vitally important to our kids because we don't baby them as much. We can be tougher with them, especially girls. We realize they need to stand on their own two feet or they never will. Wives also just love to can't win you on stuff. I love my wife but I've realized this is something I have to just live with, this need to set up an unwinnable situation. 

I did have a bittersweet moment with the younger one. She texted that she wished I had taken her in today since this is the first time I haven't driven her to school on the first day. In reality, I've just been dropping her off at the bus stop the last few years on the first day. I think she was just really nervous and a bit scared to start high school. She texted me at lunch that she's had fun so far and everything has gone well. 

Edited August 12 by mdmost

[Jerry Callo 8951]

Seems like all the best conversations with my girls came while driving them to or from sports practices.  Call them out of their room to ask a question and get little, but they seemed to talk about anything while driving down the road.  I teared up when my oldest started driving herself to swim practice knowing those conversations were over.  

[jimmyjazz 46964]

I'll tell you the worst part of moving both our younger kids into apartments or dorms -- my wife is completely incapable of dropping less than the better part of what seems like a grand on useless shit at Target and IKEA.

I don't really want to "I walked 3 miles uphill both ways in the snow to school" this thing, but for pity's sake, my college desk was 12 cinder blocks and a piece of plywood.  Apparently, our kids each need new desks, chairs, coffee makers, an entire set of dishes (more like two) with silverware, pots, pans, new curtains, bedsheets, AND THEY HAVE ROOMMATES.  How 'bout some of them kick in for the commonly used stuff, honey?  

Edited August 13 by jimmyjazz

[Jkwellborn 7006]

I'll tell you the worst part of moving both our younger kids into apartments or dorms -- my wife is completely incapable of dropping less than the better part of what seems like a grand on useless shit at Target and IKEA.
I don't really want to "I walked uphill both ways 3 miles to school in the snow" this thing, but for pity's sake, my college desk was 12 cinder blocks and a piece of plywood.  Apparently, our kids each need new desks, chairs, coffee makers, an entire set of dishes (more like two) with silverware, pots, pans, new curtains, bedsheets, AND THEY HAVE ROOMMATES.  How 'bout some of them kick in for the commonly used stuff, honey?  

You should commission some custom built furniture from some of the surly woodworkers.

[HellesBier 190]

I don't even have kids but thinking about how I will someday and some of this posts are close to tear inducing. Kind of like the my dog is awesome thread. Also, fuck them kids. Now I feel better. 

 

Helles out.

Edited August 13 by HellesBier

[Brew 3049]

On 7/28/2024 at 11:57 PM, MinerProphet said:

What kind of car is everyone getting their first time drivers? I've googled "most safe vehicles" to get a baseline, but trying to balance optimizing on year, mileage and reliability as well.

One of mine got an Escape the other got a Honda HRV. Both have done well for what they needed. They have held up well, are easy to park, are okay to drive on the interstates when they are going to visit friends at other colleges, etc.

Dropped the oldest off at college last week. It has been a little tougher than I expected. She was my kid, so she was always available to go do something, eat something, try something, etc that her mom/sister had no interest in. She also had a constant group in the house daily so we have gone from feeding 5-7 every night down to 3. I’m good with it and was ready for her to go to college, but it’s definitely different and much quieter.

[Buzzrock 15115]

On 8/10/2024 at 8:55 PM, tbone_ said:

This is awesome. Next year for me.

Where did she go?

She’s at Kennesaw State which is less than an hour away, which softens the blow for sure. But just knowing that she’s out of the nest is very bittersweet. She’s hoping to transfer to UGA next year but she’s already enjoying KSU a lot after a couple of days so we’ll see. 

[Buzzrock 15115]

On 8/11/2024 at 11:32 AM, JesusSweatDuck said:

I'm dreading it. My daughter is my sidekick, we have the same sense of humor, and generally enjoy similar things. I can't wait for her to become even more independent but there will be a massive hole in this house when she moves out

This is us. We are very similar people, share a huge love of music and some musical ability, really similar sense of humor, some shortcomings (which worries me some, my first attempt at college did not go well). She and her mother fight like banshees but I’ve always been the steadying influence. I reinstalled Instagram just so we can send each other funny dog videos.

I love the boy just as much of course but it’s in a different way. The music thing isn’t there but sports/hunting/fishing is. Four more years at home with him then seriously? It’s just me and the wife and the dog?

[YGIFS 19456]

For those of us with primary school kids, most of Texas starts school tomorrow.  Godspeed, gents.  We’re gonna need it.