Telling your kids about the horrors of the world

[Mojo Hand 4580]

This came up on the Washington DC thread, in a discussion about the Holocaust museum, and I thought a separate thread would be interesting.    Obviously it depends on the kid's maturity level, but when did you tell your kids, and/or at roughly what age do you find it appropriate?   We still haven't told my 9-year-old about the Holocaust or 9/11.  I'm dreading it, but will probably do it soon. 

And I recognize that in having this discussion, we're lucky to be in a position where our kids can be shielded from awful shit while they're young. 

[VABuckeye 2472]

If you don't tell them someone else will.  At 9 he may even know already (at least about 9/11).  Don't helicopter.  Enlighten.

[South Austin 52509]

15 minutes ago, VABuckeye said:

 At 9 he may even know already (at least about 9/11). 

My daughter learned about 9/11 in school way before 9.  She even heard that people jumped out of the towers so they didn't have to burn alive.  Kids are tougher than you think.

[bernorange 8362]

Your kids need to understand that every man and woman is capable of evil.  The only people they should ever trust implicitly are people that drive the white vans without side windows.  They usually have kick ass candy.

[Mojo Hand 4580]

Interesting.  I'm pretty sure mine doesn't know anything about it.  We drive by the Pentagon all the time and talk about what they do there and 9/11 hasn't come up.   Nine is definitely old enough; I'm planning on talking about it this September. 

[Chad Fuck 17682]

41 minutes ago, VABuckeye said:

If you don't tell them someone else will.  At 9 he may even know already (at least about 9/11).  Don't helicopter.  Enlighten.

100% This.  I was driving Chad Jr. (5) to day care not that long ago and had NPR on because he likes to listen to the news on the way in.  I usually try and filter, but I wasn't thinking it was the day after Parkland.  I'm trying to avoid potholes and construction on Skillman, and from the back seat I hear, "Daddy, why do some people shoot children?"  

It was the discussion I was planning on having that day, but we had it.  I told him some people are crazy and do bad things and you always have to be alert for them.  He accepted this and we moved on.  But it stuck with him.  He's come back talking about what he would do if someone came to shoot up his day care.  Which, I confess, isn't something I want him to have to think about.  But on the other hand, at least he's becoming more aware of his surroundings.

He's really into WWII history.  We haven't discussed the holocaust, but I'm pretty sure he'll find out about it before 9.  

[atomheartbevo 89672]

49 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Kids are tougher than you think.

Yeah, and it can be weird what they focus on, because some things are very abstract to them.  

Last summer, we were visiting some relatives in Arkansas, and they mentioned a nearby Civil War battlefield that one of our ancestors fought on, and that we ought to check it out since it was nearby.  We did, and after getting there, we started thinking how to explain the Civil War to a four year old, but we just kind of glossed over a lot of it.  The battlefield was beautifully maintained by the National Park Service, it was all very respectful, and there weren't any displays/photos of gruesome injuries or deaths (there were some books, but we didn't let him look).  One of the park rangers explained where the main battles were, and how many casualties and deaths, but all our son wanted to know  was where the "horse soldiers" were.  Then our great-aunt chimed in and said "on your mom's side, a bunch of your ancestors came over on the Trail of Tears, and it runs right past this park", and she started explaining it to him, which made us cringe.  He took it in,  but again, just like with the Civil War, anybody past his great-grandparents was just an abstract thing (he still has a great-grandmother alive, so he understands up to her generation).

A few months later, Hurricane Harvey scared the shit out of him though.  He had cousins there that he's close to, he had aunts, uncles, and a grandparent in Houston.  We caught him constantly trying to turn on the TV or unlock our iPad because he wanted to see what was happening, or he wanted to video chat with his relatives there (Which we let him do a lot).  Harvey gave him nightmares for a bit, because he understand the concept that his close relatives were in danger.

Edited April 6, 2018 by atomheartbevo

[South Austin 52509]

I will say that I let my 7-year-old son watch IT with me. 

[bernorange 8362]

Captain Fantastic was a good movie that explored issues of parenting including the application of discretion/honesty.  I'm in the camp of honesty is best.

 

[Grippe 310]

Either you bring 'em up to speed or the internets will:

[El Diablo 4232]

I guess I'm a bad parent, it never crossed my mind to tell my kid that there were shitty violent people in the world. I assumed that he'd learn this from partaking in life at school.

I grew up in the 60's and we watched the evening news together as a family. I watched the Vietnam war and the associated protests and riots unfold, nightly. The assassinations of that era were very much a real thing, they would have been hard to hide what with the nation grieving the losses of JFK, RFK, MLK (all them K's) etc...

Dad and one or two of his brothers had fought in WWII. We knew men with missing limbs and scars and we knew they'd gotten that way from the war. I remember being at a high school football game when I was 5 or so, I know I wasn't yet in school myself, and at halftime there was an honor guard and memorial for a local guy who had lost his life in 'Nam. I knew from a very young age that we were at war but I don't recall anyone ever specifically having a conversation with me about any of it. It was just a part of life.

Edited April 6, 2018 by El Diablo

[gecko 1104]

I would rather my nine year old (if I still had a nine year old) hear my version of events than someone else’s.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

Look, they are going to find out about Bob Stoops sooner or later. Better they hear it from you.