So I am off to the synagogue . . . .

[smwhorn 486]

for Yom Kippur services to begin atoning for my sins committed over the past year.  I am bringing the two goats as directed by the old testament.

Any other suggestions ??

 

[Monty86 60]

At the conclusion, don't forget to blow your chauffeur.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11866]

If your neighborhood mohel offers to give you his used chewing gum, don't take it.

[formermav43 4631]

Don’t forget a double handful of incense sufficient to make a cloud to cover the mercy seat, lest you die.

[RollLeft 5092]

With your sins i'd skip the goats and take a bullock....Gmar Chatima Tovah

[futureman 22766]

[MissingInAction 25637]

Pics of yentas?

[GhostOfTomJoad 9561]

3 hours ago, smwhorn said:

 

Any other suggestions ??

 

Bring us nude pics of Milana Vayntrub.

[Kel Varnsen 8749]

Pics of Shishkas

[futureman 22766]

10 minutes ago, Kel Varnsen said:

Pics of Shishkas

[tx ind 7061]

Pics of Jewbies

[futureman 22766]

8 minutes ago, tx ind said:

Pics of Jewbies

[Newdoc 3514]

Make sure to update your circumcision.

[Hate 20294]

Wash your matzah balls. /no hōməˈsekSHo͞oəl

 

 

Edited October 9, 2019 by Hate

[Fudge Nuggets 19520]

5 hours ago, smwhorn said:

for Yom Kippur services to begin atoning for my sins committed over the past year.  I am bringing the two goats as directed by the old testament.

Any other suggestions ??

 

Don’t get shot?

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

5 hours ago, smwhorn said:

Any other suggestions ??

"Would it hurt you to call your mother?"

[DaysOff 8263]

Don't forget the classy Chinese food afterwards.

[sidis 10020]

14 hours ago, DaysOff said:

Don't forget the classy Chinese food afterwards.

with high heels and the financial times...

[WhatTheBuck 28965]

On October 8, 2019 at 9:08 PM, tx ind said:

Pics of Jewbies

Neta Alchimister

[Guest Lobo]

On 10/8/2019 at 9:11 PM, DaysOff said:

Don't forget the classy Chinese food afterwards.

I feel somewhat atoned, and went for Chinese yesterday in all honesty.  Up in NW Austin, so tried Red Lotus in that Jester shopping complex.  

Fucking awful.  I'm about to take a violent shit.  But at least I'm cleansed baby!  

['stache 22205]

My wife’s best friend is a Jew with massive tits. That’s all I got.

[Homesickhorn 2221]

My wife’s best friend is a Jew with massive tits. That’s all I got.

You lost me at wife.

[Buck Strickland 380]

You lost me at not following the rules

[General Specific 3508]

Yeah, something wrong with Tapa? Pics aren’t displaying for some reason, try posting them again.

['stache 22205]

Goddamnit. Joobies in the middle, wife on the right. Hers are aight.

[txhorns 2421]

I'd ditch your wife for the Jew

[Fuck Tim Beck 3905]

1 hour ago, txhorns said:

I'd ditch your wife for the Jew

Oh would jew now?

[El Diablo 4232]

Why not both?

[General Specific 3508]

Why not both?

Why not all three?

[Doc Reeves 6434]

3 hours ago, 'stache said:

Goddamnit. Joobies in the middle, wife on the right. Hers are aight.

smoke...

 

Shit...er I mean “pretty”

[smwhorn 486]

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

Edited October 11, 2019 by smwhorn

[El Diablo 4232]

AKA the land of milkin', honey.

[elfenix 34835]

9 minutes ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

forgive me, father, for i have sinned by lusting after mine neighbors' boobies

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

13 minutes ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

"Hey! Check out them hooters!"

[BearSchlong 8282]

CSB/ My stepbro earned a degree in sculpture.  His senior thesis was a steel column with 5 sets of bronzed (made from casts) titties of various types.  Small, perky, pendulus, average and OH MY GOD THOSE ARE THE MOST PERFECT ONES I HAVE EVER IMAGINED!!!"

"uh, awkward, those are your sister in law's. . ."

She's Jewish.

And she was cool enough to let her husband make casts of her 4 BFFs boobs.

[El Diablo 4232]

Sculpture pictures loading for anybody else? 

[NeverMarryAStripper 22449]

CSB/ My stepbro earned a degree in sculpture.  His senior thesis was a steel column with 5 sets of bronzed (made from casts) titties of various types.  Small, perky, pendulus, average and OH MY GOD THOSE ARE THE MOST PERFECT ONES I HAVE EVER IMAGINED!!!"

"uh, awkward, those are your sister in law's. . ."

She's Jewish.

And she was cool enough to let her husband make casts of her 4 BFFs boobs.

I first read that as your stepbro got a degree in scripture.

[WhatTheBuck 28965]

2 hours ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

Aren't you Jewish? What do you care?

Maybe he'd compare them to Mary Magdalene's. 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

19 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Aren't you Jewish? What do you care?

Maybe he'd compare them to Mary Magdalene's. 

Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say, sorry Mary, we have a new winner.

[futureman 22766]

3 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

And she was cool enough to let her husband make casts of her 4 BFFs boobs.

I looked at this for a while trying to figure out what size BFF boobs are, and also how this chick had four of them.  it was a wild carnival going at full tilt through my mind.  

then, oh yeah, four of her good friends.  whatever.

[formermav43 4631]

4 hours ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

He’d like to have a word with you about that whole “atonement” thing.

[smwhorn 486]

34 minutes ago, formermav43 said:

He’d like to have a word with you about that whole “atonement” thing.

Well he can call my cell tomorrow. Hopefully not during the game.

[Bullneck 19676]

 

[Pato del Muerto 53697]

Guy attacked a synagogue in Germany so I’d say post some security. 

['stache 22205]

18 hours ago, txhorns said:

I'd ditch your wife for the Jew

WWJD?

[High Plains Drifter 11195]

On 10/11/2019 at 4:50 PM, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

 

He would say "Goddamn, those are some big fucking titties! Hey Moses, get a load of them RATS!"

[NAVY 7007]

I think I read somewhere that Jesus likes titties

[Lone Star Horn 2071]

Well, the term isn't "Jesus titty fucking Christ" for nothing

[TexasHooch 5320]

On 10/11/2019 at 9:51 PM, smwhorn said:

Well he can call my cell tomorrow. Hopefully not during the game.

Is it wrong that I read your handle as "shwarmahorn"?  Now I'm hungry.