So I am off to the synagogue . . . .

[smwhorn 481]

for Yom Kippur services to begin atoning for my sins committed over the past year.  I am bringing the two goats as directed by the old testament.

Any other suggestions ??

 

[Monty86 60]

At the conclusion, don't forget to blow your chauffeur.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,811]

If your neighborhood mohel offers to give you his used chewing gum, don't take it.

[formermav43 4,606]

Don’t forget a double handful of incense sufficient to make a cloud to cover the mercy seat, lest you die.

[RollLeft 5,040]

With your sins i'd skip the goats and take a bullock....Gmar Chatima Tovah

[futureman 22,440]

[MissingInAction 24,874]

Pics of yentas?

[GhostOfTomJoad 9,323]

3 hours ago, smwhorn said:

 

Any other suggestions ??

 

Bring us nude pics of Milana Vayntrub.

[Kel Varnsen 8,457]

Pics of Shishkas

[futureman 22,440]

10 minutes ago, Kel Varnsen said:

Pics of Shishkas

[tx ind 7,004]

Pics of Jewbies

[futureman 22,440]

8 minutes ago, tx ind said:

Pics of Jewbies

[Newdoc 3,437]

Make sure to update your circumcision.

[Hate 20,104]

Wash your matzah balls. /no hōməˈsekSHo͞oəl

 

 

Edited October 9, 2019 by Hate

[Fudge Nuggets 19,166]

5 hours ago, smwhorn said:

for Yom Kippur services to begin atoning for my sins committed over the past year.  I am bringing the two goats as directed by the old testament.

Any other suggestions ??

 

Don’t get shot?

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

5 hours ago, smwhorn said:

Any other suggestions ??

"Would it hurt you to call your mother?"

[DaysOff 7,919]

Don't forget the classy Chinese food afterwards.

[sidis 9,779]

14 hours ago, DaysOff said:

Don't forget the classy Chinese food afterwards.

with high heels and the financial times...

[WhatTheBuck 28,730]

On October 8, 2019 at 9:08 PM, tx ind said:

Pics of Jewbies

Neta Alchimister

[Guest Lobo]

On 10/8/2019 at 9:11 PM, DaysOff said:

Don't forget the classy Chinese food afterwards.

I feel somewhat atoned, and went for Chinese yesterday in all honesty.  Up in NW Austin, so tried Red Lotus in that Jester shopping complex.  

Fucking awful.  I'm about to take a violent shit.  But at least I'm cleansed baby!  

['stache 21,778]

My wife’s best friend is a Jew with massive tits. That’s all I got.

[Homesickhorn 2,202]

My wife’s best friend is a Jew with massive tits. That’s all I got.

You lost me at wife.

[Buck Strickland 380]

You lost me at not following the rules

[General Specific 3,243]

Yeah, something wrong with Tapa? Pics aren’t displaying for some reason, try posting them again.

['stache 21,778]

Goddamnit. Joobies in the middle, wife on the right. Hers are aight.

[txhorns 2,409]

I'd ditch your wife for the Jew

[Fuck Tim Beck 3,813]

1 hour ago, txhorns said:

I'd ditch your wife for the Jew

Oh would jew now?

[El Diablo 4,232]

Why not both?

[General Specific 3,243]

Why not both?

Why not all three?

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

3 hours ago, 'stache said:

Goddamnit. Joobies in the middle, wife on the right. Hers are aight.

smoke...

 

Shit...er I mean “pretty”

[smwhorn 481]

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

Edited October 11, 2019 by smwhorn

[El Diablo 4,232]

AKA the land of milkin', honey.

[elfenix 34,207]

9 minutes ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

forgive me, father, for i have sinned by lusting after mine neighbors' boobies

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

13 minutes ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

"Hey! Check out them hooters!"

[BearSchlong 8,079]

CSB/ My stepbro earned a degree in sculpture.  His senior thesis was a steel column with 5 sets of bronzed (made from casts) titties of various types.  Small, perky, pendulus, average and OH MY GOD THOSE ARE THE MOST PERFECT ONES I HAVE EVER IMAGINED!!!"

"uh, awkward, those are your sister in law's. . ."

She's Jewish.

And she was cool enough to let her husband make casts of her 4 BFFs boobs.

[El Diablo 4,232]

Sculpture pictures loading for anybody else? 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,805]

CSB/ My stepbro earned a degree in sculpture.  His senior thesis was a steel column with 5 sets of bronzed (made from casts) titties of various types.  Small, perky, pendulus, average and OH MY GOD THOSE ARE THE MOST PERFECT ONES I HAVE EVER IMAGINED!!!"

"uh, awkward, those are your sister in law's. . ."

She's Jewish.

And she was cool enough to let her husband make casts of her 4 BFFs boobs.

I first read that as your stepbro got a degree in scripture.

[WhatTheBuck 28,730]

2 hours ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

Aren't you Jewish? What do you care?

Maybe he'd compare them to Mary Magdalene's. 

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

19 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Aren't you Jewish? What do you care?

Maybe he'd compare them to Mary Magdalene's. 

Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say, sorry Mary, we have a new winner.

[futureman 22,440]

3 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

And she was cool enough to let her husband make casts of her 4 BFFs boobs.

I looked at this for a while trying to figure out what size BFF boobs are, and also how this chick had four of them.  it was a wild carnival going at full tilt through my mind.  

then, oh yeah, four of her good friends.  whatever.

[formermav43 4,606]

4 hours ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

He’d like to have a word with you about that whole “atonement” thing.

[smwhorn 481]

34 minutes ago, formermav43 said:

He’d like to have a word with you about that whole “atonement” thing.

Well he can call my cell tomorrow. Hopefully not during the game.

[Bullneck 19,043]

 

[Pato del Muerto 52,409]

Guy attacked a synagogue in Germany so I’d say post some security. 

['stache 21,778]

18 hours ago, txhorns said:

I'd ditch your wife for the Jew

WWJD?

[High Plains Drifter 10,994]

On 10/11/2019 at 4:50 PM, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

 

He would say "Goddamn, those are some big fucking titties! Hey Moses, get a load of them RATS!"

[NAVY 6,739]

I think I read somewhere that Jesus likes titties

[Lone Star Horn 2,015]

Well, the term isn't "Jesus titty fucking Christ" for nothing

[TexasHooch 5,121]

On 10/11/2019 at 9:51 PM, smwhorn said:

Well he can call my cell tomorrow. Hopefully not during the game.

Is it wrong that I read your handle as "shwarmahorn"?  Now I'm hungry.