2020 Coaching Staff

[Hiphopopotamos 20,869]

Good - lets get Ash in here working with these DBs today. 

[crash_davis 23,107]

is this ash-hole going to telegraph his blitzes on every play? no? then he's already an improvement on orlan_o.

[Thetexashammer 1,062]

22 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

 

Impossible. The experts on here say he’s ass. (Who knows).

 

I'm sorry, did you just say that there are "experts" on Surly?

[Getafix 28,600]

Prepare for the crAsh of the Surl ...

[Thermos H. Christ 478]

Every time we have a new DC they’re great for that one year. Diaz, Robinson, Bedford, Orlando, they all fielded amazing defenses out the gate. Why would Ash or whoever be any different? It’s after that first year when you gotta watch out.

[Getafix 28,600]

20 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

The funny thing is, surly would embrace ash if he’d open his introductory PC with “listen up, all you hillbillies, rubes, and coelenterates.”

 

[LTtxfan 49,170]

6 minutes ago, Thetexashammer said:

I'm sorry, did you just say that there are "experts" on Surly?

[DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt 12,301]

I’ll take whoever is willing to sign on the dotted line at this point.

[Beef 128]

At least it’s not Orlando. Any warm body will due.

[closetojumping 62,604]

3 minutes ago, Getafix said:

 

That would be the big reveal. I’ve been deep stating this thing for Hermanity, not as Greg Davis, but as another one of Herman’s rockheaded, failing imbeciles. 

[LTtxfan 49,170]

6 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

I’ll take whoever is willing to sign on the dotted line at this point.

 

4 minutes ago, Beef said:

At least it’s not Orlando. Any warm body will due.

 

Really you two?  Be careful or this could happen... Get on the 🚂

Edited December 15, 2019 by LTtxfan

[jinx 2,635]

1 hour ago, Dbeasy said:

 

I don’t have a complete list but the Del Valley Youth football league Bumblebees have an open slot for a DC. Whoever fills the slot must also bring juice boxes to the game.

 

Certainly I’m not the only one who thinks “that’s what she said” any time there is discussion about opened or filled slots.

Insert joke about South Austin’s mom in this slot.  

[CastHorn 811]

I was watching the heisman ceremony last night & Coach O mentioned the 3 & 17 play as the defining moment of LSU’s season. It really pissed me off. The talent on our roster was enough to win big this year. We shouldn’t have lost that game to LSU. We definitely shouldn’t have lost to Oklahoma. This season was just a big fucking tornado of poor coaching, injuries caused by poor coaching, locker room drama, etc. Herman just stood by and let that shit play out, no adjustments. I’m flabbergasted. I’m stunned. Motherfucker, we’re in the Alamo bowl about to play fucking Utah. Ima cry

[closetohumping 17,438]

3 minutes ago, jinx said:

Certainly I’m not the only one who thinks “that’s what she said” any time there is discussion about opened or filled slots.

Insert joke about South Austin’s mom in this slot.  

I slept with south Austin’s Mom

[CastHorn 811]

I wasn’t in a coma the last couple weeks.I’ve just been too busy to process that shit.

Edited December 15, 2019 by CastHorn

[closetojumping 62,604]

This thread continues to be an interesting read in sort of the mindless beach fiction kind of way. Factions are starting to emerge quite clearly around Ash being quite the guy because allegedly OSU sniffed at him and because ... Herman.

Then there is another faction that hates the concept of this hire because Ash fucking blows and it’s more reinforcement of Herman’s ongoing pathetic bullshit with personnel handling. Put me firmly in the latter group.

Hiring Ash will be a continuation of the ongoing failure of this regime. Is there a deadcat bounce for a year? Maybe. I’m sure we’ll look better until some of the high octane offenses depants us. Regime apologists will preach the importance of giving things time and asking for a benefit of the doubt when none is merited, and we’ll get to continue to wander in the wilderness.

Anyway, what do you guys think the actual IQ of Chris Ash is? I’m guessing it hovers around 80. I bet he frequently struggles with the names of those around him; has frequent bouts of pure rage in which he beats his fucking meathead against lockers until they’re dented; and puts a game plan together by throwing all of his playbook pages on the floor, taking a shit on them, wallowing in it, and keeping all of the pages that stick to him when he gets up. 

[trythisathome 971]

12 minutes ago, LTtxfan said:

 

 

Really you two?  Be careful or this could happen... Get on the 🚂

Shit on Vance all you want, but he is an elite Twitter follow 

[KYHorn 17,029]

1 minute ago, trythisathome said:

Shit on Vance all you want, but he is an elite Twitter follow 

Elite in terms of entertainment value, yes.

[Chrispy_ 105]

Chip is reporting that Ash is the next DC. Truly shocking turn of events. 

[Hiphopopotamos 20,869]

 

[Fondren & Main 6,710]

4 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

This thread continues to be an interesting read in sort of the mindless beach fiction kind of way. Factions are starting to emerge quite clearly around Ash being quite the guy because allegedly OSU sniffed at him and because ... Herman.

Then there is another faction that hates the concept of this hire because Ash fucking blows and it’s more reinforcement of Herman’s ongoing pathetic bullshit with personnel handling. Put me firmly in the latter group.

Hiring Ash will be a continuation of the ongoing failure of this regime. Is there a deadcat bounce for a year? Maybe. I’m sure we’ll look better until some of the high octane offenses depants us. Regime apologists will preach the importance of giving things time and asking for a benefit of the doubt when none is merited, and we’ll get to continue to wander in the wilderness.

Anyway, what do you guys think the actual IQ of Chris Ash is? I’m guessing it hovers around 80. I bet he frequently struggles with the names of those around him; has frequent bouts of pure rage in which he beats his fucking meathead against lockers until they’re dented; and puts a game plan together by throwing all of his playbook pages on the floor, taking a shit on them, wallowing in it, and keeping all of the pages that stick to him when he gets up. 

Hopefully, he’s just dumb enough to realize football is a game and when you have superior athletes you can clown most teams with great fundamentals.  I hope.

 

[Coelenterate Fuccboi 13,091]

6 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I bet he frequently struggles with the names of those around him

I’m guilty of this. Maybe it’s all the head injuries in my youth?  

[LTtxfan 49,170]

3 minutes ago, trythisathome said:

Shit on Vance all you want, but he is an elite Twitter follow 

Yeah, while we wait for the hiring of the new DC and OC at Texas, we might as well warm up this thread with more humor.

Stumbled into this gem as a possible new OC candidate...         /s

Great work @TreatyOak,

[Leeroy Jenkins 2,402]

[Hagbard Celine 10,853]

18 minutes ago, CastHorn said:

I was watching the heisman ceremony last night & Coach O mentioned the 3 & 17 play as the defining moment of LSU’s season. It really pissed me off.

2 plays defined our season.  Ingram's drop and 3rd & 17.

It's real simple for Therm.  Somehow figure out how to win in redstick, or beat 0u.  Lose to both and it's pitchforks, torches, tar and feathers.

[Vito Andolini 9,125]

This news is as surprising as my morning dump, but not as satisfying. Smells the same. (Ash may be fine, it just seems a fait accompli, not an honest search.)

[LTtxfan 49,170]

nm

Edited December 15, 2019 by LTtxfan
messed up

[ClubWhatever 12,128]

Holy fuck dude

[Bam Bam Sam 303]

Not sure anyone is surprised. Tom advanced pretty quickly in his career before taking on one of the largest head coaching gigs in sports. He doesn't have a far reaching network, Ash is a comfort hire without needing any dissection into the decision. I'll just reserve judgement to see how we perform.

Hopefully this means we've had OC covered for a while and are just waiting to reveal. 

[Dbeasy 15,047]

This thread continues to be an interesting read in sort of the mindless beach fiction kind of way. Factions are starting to emerge quite clearly around Ash being quite the guy because allegedly OSU sniffed at him and because ... Herman.
Then there is another faction that hates the concept of this hire because Ash fucking blows and it’s more reinforcement of Herman’s ongoing pathetic bullshit with personnel handling. Put me firmly in the latter group.
Hiring Ash will be a continuation of the ongoing failure of this regime. Is there a deadcat bounce for a year? Maybe. I’m sure we’ll look better until some of the high octane offenses depants us. Regime apologists will preach the importance of giving things time and asking for a benefit of the doubt when none is merited, and we’ll get to continue to wander in the wilderness.
Anyway, what do you guys think the actual IQ of Chris Ash is? I’m guessing it hovers around 80. I bet he frequently struggles with the names of those around him; has frequent bouts of pure rage in which he beats his fucking meathead against lockers until they’re dented; and puts a game plan together by throwing all of his playbook pages on the floor, taking a shit on them, wallowing in it, and keeping all of the pages that stick to him when he gets up. 

You completely left out the third faction of which I am firmly entrenched - waffling milquetoasts who refuse to take a stand on Ash so that we can completely preserve our “I told you so’s” for 12 months from now when he either leads us to the playoffs or crashes and burns worse than jerseyman10 at a South Austin strip club.

[Hagbard Celine 10,853]

it's too late to ask the oracle about the DC now that we have a probable decision.

will wait until the formal announcement then consult.

[FORTY NINE TO ZERO 2,652]

Seems like a decent hire.

im not upset.   

[NorLa Horns 1,458]

anybody looked at Harrells contract and seen if there are any lump sums being paid in the next month,  that may explain why this dude is dragging his feet like this?

[RollLeft 5,044]

3 minutes ago, NorLa Horns said:

anybody looked at Harrells contract and seen if there are any lump sums being paid in the next month,  that may explain why this dude is dragging his feet like this?

[CastHorn 811]

The 4 Man Front Press Man Quarters D has worked for decades @ TCU. I don’t think we have nearly the speed of TCU at LB or Safety though. Owens and Overshown are going to have bulk up and play linebacker.

Edited December 15, 2019 by CastHorn

[KYHorn 17,029]

I bet the Ohio State search expedited this quite a bit. 

[ClubWhatever 12,128]

Just now, CastHorn said:

The 4 Man Front Press Man Quarters D has worked for decades @ TCU. I don’t think we have nearly the speed of TCU at LB or Safety though.

Autobots, commence rationalization

[closetojumping 62,604]

1 minute ago, Dbeasy said:

 

You completely left out the third faction of which I am firmly entrenched - waffling milquetoasts who refuse to take a stand on Ash so that we can completely preserve our “I told you so’s” for 12 months from now when he either leads us to the playoffs or crashes and burns worse than jerseyman10 at a South Austin strip club.

 

No, I had your handle in mind among others when I referenced the first group. 

I really don’t give one shit about being wrong on this. If he comes in and they play elite defense, fucking awesome. I would rather win than endure more coaching changes, failure and misery as a fan.

That considered, there is not a single thing to point to with this hire that points to the best guy out there getting the offer. There were no leaks on other names because there were no other interviews. Odom and Scalley were thrown out to look like work was being done. Not a single NFL staffer was researched. This has every hallmark of a sham hire by a fucking fraud of a HC. 

[CastHorn 811]

Just now, ClubWhatever said:

Autobots, commence rationalization

That’s not what I’m doing lil whore. I’m simply observing. 

[Vito Andolini 9,125]

Is the 24/7 board Bucknuts full of fucknuts? That was the only tOSU forum name I could remember, so I just went there to see if the couch crowd had an Ashy opinion since they are also looking, and it seems many actually view him favorably (the first guy says “Fuck Ash,” but keep reading).

But again, the site may be populated with even dumber assholes than us 😀

https://247sports.com/college/ohio-state/board/120/Contents/hot-board-the-search-for-hafleys-replacement-at-ohio-state-140516457/

[fellside 1,113]

I get the takes about this being a comfort hire.  Can someone explain why we think Ash is a bad defensive coordinator?

[Spawn of Cthulhu 2,241]

As if.

[FORTY NINE TO ZERO 2,652]

4 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

Is the 24/7 board Bucknuts full of fucknuts? That was the only tOSU forum name I could remember, so I just went there to see if the couch crowd had an Ashy opinion since they are also looking, and it seems many actually view him favorably (the first guy says “Fuck Ash,” but keep reading).

But again, the site may be populated with even dumber assholes than us 😀

https://247sports.com/college/ohio-state/board/120/Contents/hot-board-the-search-for-hafleys-replacement-at-ohio-state-140516457/

Looks like tosu fans really want ash 

[Bevo14 8,304]

9 minutes ago, CastHorn said:

The 4 Man Front Press Man Quarters D has worked for decades @ TCU. I don’t think we have nearly the speed of TCU at LB or Safety though. Owens and Overshown are going to have bulk up and play linebacker.

[Treefidy 1,463]

15 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

This thread continues to be an interesting read in sort of the mindless beach fiction kind of way. Factions are starting to emerge quite clearly around Ash being quite the guy because allegedly OSU sniffed at him and because ... Herman.

Then there is another faction that hates the concept of this hire because Ash fucking blows and it’s more reinforcement of Herman’s ongoing pathetic bullshit with personnel handling. Put me firmly in the latter group.

Hiring Ash will be a continuation of the ongoing failure of this regime. Is there a deadcat bounce for a year? Maybe. I’m sure we’ll look better until some of the high octane offenses depants us. Regime apologists will preach the importance of giving things time and asking for a benefit of the doubt when none is merited, and we’ll get to continue to wander in the wilderness.

Anyway, what do you guys think the actual IQ of Chris Ash is? I’m guessing it hovers around 80. I bet he frequently struggles with the names of those around him; has frequent bouts of pure rage in which he beats his fucking meathead against lockers until they’re dented; and puts a game plan together by throwing all of his playbook pages on the floor, taking a shit on them, wallowing in it, and keeping all of the pages that stick to him when he gets up. 

You will get Ash and Lash and like it because coach fuckhole says so.  You're probably spot on about Ash though, sort of a Michael Knight, Rex, Sydney carton Mr. potato head kit.  

We will improve as our 2018 class matures another year before they bolt for the various exits, the question is how high will that cat bounce?  Will it be high enough that we have to endure another year before the inevitable?  

At this point my biggest concern is he stumblefucks his way into 9-3/10-2 in perpetuity, with our MNC hopes effectively vaporized by the 2nd week, every fucking season.  

[Vito Andolini 9,125]

8 minutes ago, fellside said:

I get the takes about this being a comfort hire.  Can someone explain why we think Ash is a bad defensive coordinator?

I’m not sure anyone has said he’s a bad DC (shitty head coach and maybe a prick, yes), but some wonder if his concepts translate well to defend Big 12 offenses. I believe Burt Macklin has written extensively on the subject, perhaps you can search for his earlier posts.

Edited December 15, 2019 by Vito Andolini

[SydneyCarton 48,075]

well. Tom Herman will either win big next year or he and his entire trash staff will be fucking fired. That’s the only consolation and peace of mind to be had for this clownshow of a hire. Herman had exhausted his good will with boosters before this, and now he’s pissed in the face of every fan and booster who told him exactly not what to do here. 

I’m not so sure he didn’t actually try to interview other guys and got laughed into his face because he’s insufferable prick with a terrible reputation. But he probably just avoided that indignity by attempting to just gaslight the entire fanbase  in favor of Ash. I look forward to the communications coming out of the Athletic Department next week that we beat Ohio State for this roided up dipshit. Pathetic but I’m not surprised, so whatever. 
 

here’s to an exciting HC hire coaching his first game at DKR when we debut the south end zone in 2021. 

[Fozzz 152]

33 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

 

Lame comfort hire.  

[LTtxfan 49,170]

15 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

That considered, there is not a single thing to point to with this hire that points to the best guy out there getting the offer. There were no leaks on other names because there were no other interviews. Odom and Scalley were thrown out to look like work was being done. Not a single NFL staffer was researched. This has every hallmark of a sham hire by a fucking fraud of a HC. 

May see ohio state look towards NFL for their next hire...

https://247sports.com/college/ohio-state/ContentGallery/Ohio-State-Buckeyes-football-Hot-Board-the-search-for-Hafleys-replacement-at-Ohio-State-140516457/#140516457_1

[oh_snap 694]

4 minutes ago, Treefidy said:

At this point my biggest concern is he stumblefucks his way into 9-3/10-2 in perpetuity, with our MNC hopes effectively vaporized by the 2nd week, every fucking season.  

You don’t know TH. He’ll get the team to play up to our week2 opponents and win a few of those slugfests.

But those MNC hopes will vaporize in week8 or week9 when we drop a game to the likes of a 5-7 big12 also-ran.