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DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt

By DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt
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Minor Orangeblack
Minor Orangeblack

Blue Bell is announcing the release of a new flavor, Gordita Latina to be served exclusively at Texas Athletic facilities and DKR, it will feature hints of Canela, White Apples and Mexican vanilla. 

closetojumping
closetojumping

A few things: -If Harrell is the OC, and the rumors are legit but don’t take anything for granted until ink is dry, then Traylor could make a return. Herman would be admitting to a mistake in let

satyanash
satyanash

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Bevo

Bevo 13822

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

In the interest of cheering everybody up, I'll take on Sydney's challenge:

Pros -

-Fud has already cited a solid nickname in Jai Alai

-He's young and black, so this immediately makes the whole staff hip and with it

-He knows the "grab that bag" concept for street agents and seems to really dig it

-Chris Ash really likes him, and Chris Ash knows staff personnel

-He can apparently fog a mirror

-We don't have a visible way, yet, to prove that his on-field charges at Texas will suck

-He's not Drew Mehringer

-He's currently unemployed, so he can start immediately

-He's a squarehead just like his mentor, so you know there's a lot of grey matter being toted around in that fucking rock

-He's never lost to Baylor or Iowa State

-If he's really the unqualified, wet fart of a hire that obvious shit seems to be indicating, he does nothing to offset the growing likelihood that the silver lining to Hermanitard not fixing any of his shit will be that he and his entire fucking roster of half-wits and jugheads will all be taken out to the curb and dropkicked onto the street after they underperform and fail miserably to the tune of a 6-6 regular season in 2020

I don't know, the more I think about it, the more I'm really to starting to like this hire.

 

 

Shit, I was just to add a Pro that the hire will piss CTJ off but then I noticed that he wrote this. Motherfucker. Not sold.

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Istian

Istian 241

Posted
Posted
15 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

But you are making judgments based on little factual information just to be contrarian. It's fucking boorish. No one really knows what kind of coach he'll be. I'm guessing you'd shit yourself with excitement if Samples was named the WR coach.

If I’m on record saying that Samples is a home run, by all means find it and shit on me appropriately. It’s not unreasonable to have an expectation that Texas hire a competent set of coaches to run the football program. Having an opinion on the pattern of behavior with regard to Herman’s hiring process is FAR from unreasonable. There’s plenty of fucking data to suggest that he’s going to fuck it up. Fuck this weak ass proxy defending the corches bullshit that’s emanating from your posts. If this guy is in fact hired and announced, it’s more likely that he fucking sucks than him being any good. 

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Posted
38 minutes ago, Longhorn94 said:

i didnt say shooting ourselves in either testicle is a good idea. i simply was commenting on the justification of why we shouldn't shoot one vs the other. 

When you say our testicles are you talking metaphorically and collectively or are each of us getting shot? Cuz if you mean each of us, let me be the first to get out of line.

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UncleBuck

UncleBuck 6455

Posted
Posted (edited)
22 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

Says the same group of people that would be ecstatic with Samples was hired.

Now this has some got damn legs. I see a few names here who are shitting on the Valai hire who were hoping Samples would be brought on last year, and if not, brought back this year. Seemed to be all because his father is a well respected coach in the Dallas area, and he'll bring the 'croots

Now, that doesn't make the Valai hire the right hire, or a good one. It just cracks me the every loving fuck up.

My personal opinion on the hire? I've read, and not from any longhorn sources today or yesterday, but from other sources, that he's thought of as a good recruiter, with what little experience he has. That's good if true, and I like that. Now as a coach? I don't give a shit how many videos you show me that show he knows how to run DBs through drills, is he going to be able to coach the guys we have here and get them better for Saturdays? He hasn't shown anything saying he can, obviously.

I know we like to pull this whole "well we're fucking Texas!" card on this thread and others when it comes to hiring coaches, pretending that every blue-blood program or top program in the country only hires the most experienced and pedigreed got damn coaches on the planet at every position down to lunch lady, but that's not accurate. Other top programs in the country have staffs who can identify young coaching talent, who know it when they see it, and they take a chance and the dude balls out mon-fri and has the guys ready for Saturdays. Now the problem with that here in our situation is that there's zero record of Herman ever doing so (minus that close call with our Lawt And Save-yuh Samples), and frankly I'm not sure about Ash as I haven't gone through his whole fucking tree, but I'm gunna guess no just because.

So, for the simple fact that it's not whelming, I could probably say the hire is underwhelming. But like most things I don't know enough about, I'm gunna let this shit sink or swim and call this a non-whelming hire. 

 

 

Edited by UncleBuck
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MoJames

MoJames 8258

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, UncleBuck said:

Now this has some got damn legs. I see a few names here who are shitting on the Valai hire who were hoping Samples would be brought on last year, and if not, brought back this year. Seemed to be all because his father is a well respected coach in the Dallas area, and he'll bring the 'croots

Now, that doesn't make the Valai hire the right hire, or a good one. It just cracks me the every loving fuck up.

My personal opinion on the hire? I've read, and not from any longhorn sources today or yesterday, but from other sources, that he's thought of as a good recruiter, with what little experience he has. That's good if true, and I like that. Now as a coach? I don't give a shit how many videos you show me that show he knows how to run DBs through drills, is he going to be able to coach the guys we have here and get them better for Saturdays? He hasn't shown anything saying he can, obviously... but, he hasn't shown that he won't.

I know we like to pull this whole "well we're fucking Texas!" card on this thread and others when it comes to hiring coaches, pretending that every blue-blood program or top program in the country only hires the most experienced and pedigreed got damn coaches on the planet at every position down to lunch lady, but that's not accurate. Other top programs in the country have staffs who can identify young coaching talent, who know it when they see it, and they take a chance and the dude balls out mon-fri and has the guys ready for Saturdays. Now the problem with that here in our situation is that there's zero record of Herman ever doing so (minus that close call with our Lawt And Save-yuh Samples), and frankly I'm not sure about Ash as I haven't gone through his whole fucking tree, but I'm gunna guess no just because.

So, for the simple fact that it's not whelming, I could probably say the hire is underwhelming. But like most things I don't know enough about, I'm gunna let this shit sink or swim and call this a non-whelming hire. 

 

 

In dark mode I cannot understand how you did this.

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Bevo

Bevo 13822

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Posted
21 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

The point isn't what kind of coach he will be. He could end up being a grand slam hire in every facet. It doesn't change the fact that as things stand now, it's a bad hire at Texas for multiple reasons. And the fact that posters are sitting here playing the "He May Turn Out Good" wish casting bullshit is the exact fucking evidence that it's a poor, poor hire. Just say "Trust the coaches" and "you're not a coach" and fucking be done with it already. 

I don't get the point of mocking "Trust the coaches". What else are we going to do? Bitch and moan? Fly a banner before the team gets on the field? Say I told you so if things don't work out?

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 49325

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Bevo said:

I don't get the point of mocking "Trust the coaches". What else are we going to do? Bitch and moan? Fly a banner before the team gets on the field? Say I told you so if things don't work out?

I'm shocked, shocked that you can't fucking follow the intent and point of my post. It's about as surprising as Tom Herman making an unimpressive hire, you literal fucking goon. Change your fucking avatar to Drax the Destroyer and just be done with it. 

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MoJames

MoJames 8258

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, MoJames said:

@Royal With Cheese

That's where I would start with ignore.

Guys I know we are working our ass off in this thread, but some bullshit has just come to light.

There are two users with similar names

@Royal With Cheese Who is a proper lurker joining back in March 26, 2018.

The guy who jumped in here with his 10 posts trying to own the thread is @Royale with cheese

How should we go about correcting this?

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Johnny Sack

Johnny Sack 8397

Posted
Posted
21 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

hahahahahahahahha

Holy fucking shit. I feel like I am trending into full blown Kurtz-up-the-river Brando Apocolypse Now speech, Tristan Ludlow-after-his-wife-dies Legends of the Fall levels of crazy coming on, right now. What in the fucking hell is this motherfucking piece of shit doing?  

 

It's like an elaborate episode of Punk'd

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texifornia

texifornia 58781

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, MoJames said:

Guys I know we are working our ass off in this thread, but some bullshit has just come to light.

There are two users with similar names

@Royal With Cheese Who is a proper lurker joining back in March 26, 2018.

The guy who jumped in here with his 10 posts trying to own the thread is @Royale with cheese

How should we go about correcting this?

576cb32f05aae_louisette.jpg

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Bevo

Bevo 13822

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Posted
2 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

I'm shocked, shocked that you can't fucking follow the intent and point of my post. It's about as surprising as Tom Herman making an unimpressive hire, you literal fucking goon. Change your fucking avatar to Drax the Destroyer and just be done with it. 

Don't lash out of me just because CTJ plans to beat you around your shoulders. We're friends. You have potential because I had a great uncle Sidney. I liked Sidney. He died.

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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

Posted
Posted
40 minutes ago, MoJames said:

Hiring Jay Valai is like killing Soleimani

A pointless distraction that is neither as good nor as bad as claimed, but serves as a perfect excuse for all parties involved to go forward with what they originally wanted to do anyway?

Well, hell, Texas Football really is a perfect analog for politics. Who could have fuckin' foreseen?

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MoJames

MoJames 8258

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

But which one do we execute first? Kind of a guillotine version of Zeno's paradox.  Therefore, neither ever get executed.

Tough stuff.

 

Just now, texifornia said:

Excuse me, the Tell Me About Baylor thread is right over there if you're already predicting next year's QB starter.

The lurker was kind enough to give me the above insight, so I say we let @Royal With Cheese own the username.

The person asking who to put on ignore is @Royale with cheese and as he was pushy and doesn't have an avatar, we should kill him.

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Katfid54

Katfid54 9005

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Excuse me, the Tell Me About Baylor thread is right over there if you're already predicting next year's QB starter.

In order to get to the Tell Me About Baylor thread, I must move my mouse the entire way to the thread.  To move the mouse to the thread, I have to first move the mouse halfway to the thread.  After I move the mouse halfway to the thread, I have to move the mouse another halfway to the thread.  After that, I have to move the mouse another halfway to the thread.  After that, I have to move the mouse another halfway to the thread.

But because I have to type that shit an infinite number of times in this thread, I can never move my mouse.

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 49325

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, stork642 said:

Pretty hilarious that the same people that hate Herman and want him fired get so pissed at his “shitty” hires that, if proven to be so, will help expedite his firing after this next year.  Must be weird to live in that world.  

Not really. I’d rather dislike Herman and win at Texas than be right and continue sucking dick. Hell, I hope I’m wrong about Herman and every hire he’s made. 

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Cajun

Cajun 11771

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, stork642 said:

Pretty hilarious that the same people that hate Herman and want him fired get so pissed at his “shitty” hires that, if proven to be so, will help expedite his firing after this next year.  Must be weird to live in that world.  

I want your avatar for DC

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elguapo

elguapo 4620

Posted
Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, stork642 said:

Pretty hilarious that the same people that hate Herman and want him fired get so pissed at his “shitty” hires that, if proven to be so, will help expedite his firing after this next year.  Must be weird to live in that world.  

It's actually not that weird at all.

See, what we really want above all is for Texas to stop sucking at football. In the opinion of many, including myself, the quickest way to accomplish this goal is to replace Herman. Since this isn't happening, the next quickest way for Texas to achieve not sucking is for Herman to recognize his failures and hire a kick ass staff. Since this apparently isn't happening either, we are not pleased. 

Edited by elguapo
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Istian

Istian 241

Posted
Posted
Just now, stork642 said:

Pretty hilarious that the same people that hate Herman and want him fired get so pissed at his “shitty” hires that, if proven to be so, will help expedite his firing after this next year.  Must be weird to live in that world.  

Some people hate Herman, some people look at Herman and 3 years of doing dumb ass shit and understand the most likely outcome. Then there’s the assholes that ride the wave from one coach to the next, ignoring the signs along the way that the ship is fucking sinking and jump to the front of the line to blow the newest hire. 
 

What the fuck is so hard to understand about trends that people ignore them to their detriment? Saying that it’s more likely that Herman fucks it up than Texas wins the conference is not an endorsement of firing everyone and starting over. It’s an acknowledgment that he’s proven he can’t fill out an entire staff with competent coaches and he makes poor decisions that cost this team games. Hiring a CB coach with around one (1) calendar year on an actual coaching staff doesn’t exactly scream “I’m using my resources to make a great hire!” or more importantly “This will help Texas win games!”

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HtownHorn

HtownHorn 15243

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, elguapo said:

It's actually not that weird at all.

See, what we really want above all is for Texas to stop sucking at football. In the opinion of many, including myself, the quickest way to accomplish this goal is to replace Herman. Since this isn't happening, the next quickest way for Texas to achieve not sucking is for Herman to recognize his failures and hire a kick ass staff. Since this apparently isn't happening either, we are not pleased. 

Or option c, where it blows up in Herman's face after another year, and you get what you really want.

Edited by HtownHorn
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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 49325

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Istian said:

Some people hate Herman, some people look at Herman and 3 years of doing dumb ass shit and understand the most likely outcome. Then there’s the assholes that ride the wave from one coach to the next, ignoring the signs along the way that the ship is fucking sinking and jump to the front of the line to blow the newest hire. 
 

What the fuck is so hard to understand about trends that people ignore them to their detriment? Saying that it’s more likely that Herman fucks it up than Texas wins the conference is not an endorsement of firing everyone and starting over. It’s an acknowledgment that he’s proven he can’t fill out an entire staff with competent coaches and he makes poor decisions that cost this team games. Hiring a CB coach with around one (1) calendar year on an actual coaching staff doesn’t exactly scream “I’m using my resources to make a great hire!” or more importantly “This will help Texas win games!”

Outta rep. But you should post more. 

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 49325

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

Or option c, where it blows up in Herman's face after another year, and you get what you really want.

Again another bullshit post. What I want more than anything is for herman to figure it out now and win fucking games. Period. I’d be thrilled to be irritated  by his decisions and behavior for a decade while he reels off a string of playoff appearances and conference championships. 

Edited by SydneyCarton
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HtownHorn

HtownHorn 15243

Posted
Posted
Just now, SydneyCarton said:

Again another bullshit post. What I want more than anything is for herman to figure it out now and win fucking games. Period. I’d be thrilled to be oersted by his decisions and behavior for a decade while he feels off a string of playoff appearances and conference championships. 

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Istian

Istian 241

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, HtownHorn said:

spacer.png

What’s the fucking point here? That everyone opposed to Herman continuing the trend of dumbassery (coincidently - or not depending on whether or not you’re a dumbass - the same people who were opposed to the Strong dumbassery) prefers that Texas fucking sucks and revel in it? I don’t see your fucking point in any post so I’m gonna assume you’re a dumbass. 

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closetojumping

closetojumping 65245

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, Istian said:

What’s the fucking point here? That everyone opposed to Herman continuing the trend of dumbassery (coincidently - or not depending on whether or not you’re a dumbass - the same people who were opposed to the Strong dumbassery) prefers that Texas fucking sucks and revel in it? I don’t see your fucking point in any post so I’m gonna assume you’re a dumbass. 

You’ve got him squared up pretty well. He’s one of the resident imbeciles.

He’s of the religion that believes that the coach, whoever the coach, is always right. Should you deign to challenge otherwise or simply call things for what they are, you are an enemy of the program and you must “hate” the coach and the team.

Folks in this religion also tend to believe that football is really complicated and that in order to run a program the size of Texas, the coach usually possesses various super powers and probably has an Einstein-level brain that us commoners couldn’t possibly fathom. There’s a cabal of these guys on this thread. 

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