Jump to content
Required Reading for any Longhorn ×

Official 2019 bitch about family/holiday drama thread

Nice Guy Eddie

By Nice Guy Eddie
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, ChickenSandwich said:

T-Day intervention on life support after my cousin got drunk and told her brother my Aunt’s plan. Apparently all hell broke loose this weekend and dinner is off. 
 

im devastated and pissed my cousin couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut. Now who’s going to stop the Devil?

all of the disappointment. Non of the Turkey. This weekend sucked. Thanks Tom. 

Get your own turkey brah, and feast it up. Sucks that people have to fuck things up for others, especially at this time of year.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 1.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

ocugolf
ocugolf

My mother decided Thanksgiving was the perfect time to buy new doors. So, they took the old ones and put them in one of their rent houses. Problem is that they didn’t have time to get the new doors st

Larry T. Spider
Larry T. Spider

Today is a day that will live in infamy. 5 brave people stood up to a reign of terror than has lasted well over 30 years. The 3 children of MIL decided that no more shit will be taken and the the

NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

I’m up at the ranch with my mom, siblings, and all of our extended families. It’s about 30 people in all, just like very year. This year mom finally decided she was too old to be in charge of the co

Posted Images

El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, ChickenSandwich said:

T-Day intervention on life support after my cousin got drunk and told her brother my Aunt’s plan. Apparently all hell broke loose this weekend and dinner is off. 
 

im devastated and pissed my cousin couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut. Now who’s going to stop the Devil?

all of the disappointment. Non of the Turkey. This weekend sucked. Thanks Tom. 

You're disappointed? I was so looking forward to being there, in spirit of course.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Armybrat

Armybrat 40942

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, tx 3 putt said:

the controversy is raging in our family for T-Day. I'm anti HEB pumpkin pie, too much nutmeg. others are anti Costco pumpkin pie, it's too big. will we find a compromise ????

I like Costco pumpkin pie, but their cherry pie is the best. Too bad they don’t have the latter available very often.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9490

Posted
Posted
On 11/21/2019 at 5:22 PM, MissingInAction said:

You bastards... I almost feel like I am obligated to you all to make this happen.

I think he and his family live in hollowed out trees and hog carcasses, so no idea if they will show. They might steal a car and make it though.

In my family, those are the ones that for sure make it.

Have you seen that I've received seven clicks of support for the family picture?  I think after 5 likes it becomes a legally binding obligation on your end.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21904

Posted
Posted
On 11/24/2019 at 2:18 AM, Longboard Horn said:

WTF is the purpose of a gender reveal party? Also, her mother is insisting that I bring a gift. Why the fuck would I bring a gift if I don't know the sex of the baby until the party? I have informed my step-sister and her mother that I'm not bringing a gift.

Sometimes I wonder why we went with the "surlytexas" site name.  Then I read posts like this and am reminded.

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13050

Posted
Posted
On 11/24/2019 at 4:18 AM, Longboard Horn said:

I've been informed that we're not doing anything for Thanksgiving Day, but instead my oldest sister(who is pregnant) will be hosting "Thanksgiving" at her house on that following Saturday to do her gender reveal party. WTF is the purpose of a gender reveal party? Also, her mother is insisting that I bring a gift. Why the fuck would I bring a gift if I don't know the sex of the baby until the party? I have informed my step-sister and her mother that I'm not bringing a gift. Thank god sis is on my side with it.

I, for one, would like to hear an update post-reveal. This "trend" leaves me nonplussed. With each of our children, my spouse and I telephoned our respective parents and shared our news of the pregnancy and then relied (and were happy) to have them spread the joy among the rest of the family. It's the kind of thing that makes them feel good, you know? For everyone else, when I was showing, there was the announcement!

If you ever have to take a gift and you don't know the gender, buy one or two classic baby board books. They aren't as cheap as they used to be, but they ship well and reading is important. We had a niece that we gave a little library of classic books and enclosed a note describing why we (every one in our family) had selected each of the titles and that someday when she could read and write on her own, perhaps she could add a note of her own about which ones were her favorites. Her parents saved the books (it wasn't that many) in a box for when she has her own children.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21904

Posted
Posted
36 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

What if the baby is trans?

Yeah, I heard the new thing is to not assign a gender to the child until they have a chance to self-identify.  Because God may have fucked up when he attached the cock and balls where a vag was supposed to go.

  • Like 7
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9379

Posted
Posted

Tomorrow's my b'day. A big one. I'm not as old as Army Brat's t-shirts, but getting there. Gonna hit HEB around 6AM (yes, they'll be open) to knock out the bit of shopping we need done for our small feast Thursday (6 total). Should be home by 7. I'll get breakfast after that then be waiting in the parking lot of Total Wine when they open. If I've got my shit straight I'll be home with the booze by 10:30 and won't have to deal with the unclean masses for several days. 

Be safe, you surly bastards. 

  • Like 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites
After irth

After irth 1245

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

Both pecan and pumpkin are required.  I had to explain to my wife that pumpkin cheesecake, which was very good, is not a substitute for pumpkin pie.

Wife (no pics) is making a Pumpkin Creme Brulee with a Cranberry Compote, and also cranking out batches of Pumpkin Cranberry Muffins.  And they are all exceptional.

Doesn’t mean I won’t be scoring Pumpkin Pie wherever I can find it for the next month. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, HenryJames said:

spacer.png

Piecaken, @Armybrat. Piecaken.

that thing literally looks like the pie equivalent of that cat in the memes at the table opposite of the woman screaming at it.  

Puh-can pie!  she screams.

And then this cat/pie hybrid shouts PEE-Can pie!  but there's also other "layers" to the meme.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 6072

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

Well, I screwed up.  Thanks Tom.  I got pissy and drunk after the Baylor debacle.  My wife was pissed off because she just found out her mother had purchased airline tickets to visit over Christmas w/o asking.  She'll be here the 23rd through 30th.  Problem?  We're hosting friends the 23rd and 24th, then heading to TN for a week - to the SAME GD PLACE HER MOTHER LIVES.  (My daughter goes to MTSU; most of wife's family lives in Nashville/Clarksville.)  We've done this same routine EVERY FUCKING YEAR SINCE 1997.  So now my wife feels extremely guilty.  In my drunken stupor I told my wife not to worry about it because her mom is kind of a "beeeottchhh".  That didn't go over very well.

  • Like 7
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36736

Posted
Posted
23 hours ago, Telegraph_it said:

Pecan pie, pronounced pēˌkan, is the only pie anyone should be having on Thanksgiving.

 

Wrong.  

First, in Texas, pecan is pronounced pəcahn ("puhcahn").  This is not debatable.  Maybe other places in the country pronounce it "pēˌkan," but as my late grandmother used to explain, a "pee can" is something you keep under your bed.  As a second generation direct descendant of the Old Three Hundred, she cannot be questioned on things like this.  

Second, the pumpkin pie, as most respondents have noted, is not only appropriate, but required. 

  • Like 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites
MissingInAction

MissingInAction 25239

Posted
Posted (edited)
20 minutes ago, nnm said:

Wrong.  

First, in Texas, pecan is pronounced pəcahn ("puhcahn").  This is not debatable.  Maybe other places in the country pronounce it "pēˌkan," but as my late grandmother used to explain, a "pee can" is something you keep under your bed.  As a second generation direct descendant of the Old Three Hundred, she cannot be questioned on things like this.  

Second, the pumpkin pie, as most respondents have noted, is not only appropriate, but required. 

My grandmother on  the maternal side and grandfather on the paternal are also second generation direct descendants...so we are probably related and I am slightly inbred. 

Do you have a 10 year old second cousin that looks like Kenny Powers running around?

Edited by MissingInAction
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36736

Posted
Posted
Just now, MissingInAction said:

My grandmother on on the maternal side and grandfather on the paternal are also second generation direct descendants...so we are probably related. 

Do you have a 10 year old second cousin that looks like Kenny Powers running around?

Ha.  No, but I have second cousins that live on our ranch on the NM border that are ready for the black helicopters to come in and try to take their guns.  Domes built out of gunnite and everything.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Telegraph_it

Telegraph_it 3360

Posted
Posted
26 minutes ago, nnm said:

Wrong.  

First, in Texas, pecan is pronounced pəcahn ("puhcahn").  This is not debatable.  Maybe other places in the country pronounce it "pēˌkan," but as my late grandmother used to explain, a "pee can" is something you keep under your bed.  As a second generation direct descendant of the Old Three Hundred, she cannot be questioned on things like this.  

Second, the pumpkin pie, as most respondents have noted, is not only appropriate, but required. 

I agree with your pronunciation, it is definitely not "pee can". I do not think the notation pēˌkan is pronounced like "pee can" though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Armybrat

Armybrat 40942

Posted
Posted
30 minutes ago, G650 said:

Pecan pie is god's greatest gift to the planet. Pumpkin pie is essentially dog vomit.

And anyone buying a fucking pie from the grocery store is not qualified to speak on this matter.

Pecan pie is the only real pie, IMO, and is a work of culinary art if prepared and baked properly at home.

All the rest.... pumpkin, cherry, blueberry.... etc. are just fruit pastries. So no biggie if they come from a store or commercial establishment, any more than a donut.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...