Official 2019 bitch about family/holiday drama thread

[HornPhD 1368]

4 hours ago, Loco said:

https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/florida/articles/2019-11-29/1-dead-2-wounded-in-thanksgiving-strip-club-shooting

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA. (AP) — A Thanksgiving Day fight at a Florida strip club left one man dead and two others injured.

Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputies found three men with gunshot wounds when they arrived at The Rose Gentlemen’s Club after 3 a.m. Once was pronounced dead at the scene and two others were taken to the hospital.

The War on Thanksgiving is spreading

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

AI needs to get GIL on surly. he and armybrat would gold.

 

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

3 hours ago, Loco said:

you know what else works?   Not inviting smokers who are assholes.

Unlike the 9-inch circumference Dessert-Which-Shall-Not-Be-Named, assholes are an integral part of this thread, therefore, I object. Unless, of course, you are creating drama for next year's thread in which case, carry on.

 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

18 minutes ago, HornPhD said:

The War on Thanksgiving is spreading

My favorite part is that the word "Florida" is a link to the USNWR "best states" list.

 

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

14 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

It’s not the money so much as if I had some bullshit tradition I was thrusting on others, I wouldn’t blink about paying for that.  But women are often clueless about such things.  At least she had her brother and his family out from Louisiana and his wife was is so smoking hot I ogled her all night.  And she’s really cool too.  

Pics not showing up for me.

[Al_4_ISU 12451]

Cunt dog has been released from jail, Grandpa is irate and screaming about how it’s absurd for colleges to dress 65 (or however many players it is) guys because they “have to be able to go both ways!”. Cunt dog is yapping incessantly to one up him.

I’m going to grab a beer

[wd40 1976]

my FIL and his two brothers rotate hosting thanksgiving.  bro1is in Lafayette, bro2 in OKC.  FIL is in Washington state, so he 'hosted' at my house (in Austin).  none of bro1 or 2's kids and their families could make it, which kept the crowd manageable, although it would have helped with the left overs, since I misread the tag on the turkey and grabbed a 21lb instead of a 12lb.  first turkey ever on my smoker.  it was a learning experieince.  duck and chicken turned out great, though, despite my old Weber rotisserie motor not being able to turn that much weight.   we had to improvise them on the smoker with the turkey, followed by a few manual spins on the Weber to crisp the skin.

only awkward part was my FIL bought each of his brothers and me monogrammed chef jackets for the occasion.  

 

we were sitting around drinking on Wednesday night when he announced this.  there was a moment of silence.  then I said, "so we're in a sorority".  there was another moment of silence, then bro1 raised his glass, and we moved on.  fortunately, we only had to wear them for a photo op.

meanwhile, Thanksgiving at my folks house was a little different.   apparently, my brother and my dad wrapped up the evening by getting in a shouting match over Colin fucking Kaepernick.

wife took SILILF to the airport this afternoon, then went to hang out with her aggy friends in town from Dallas.  so I've just been watching football and hockey while enjoying various vodka drinks from the handle of Titos FIL left behind; plus breaking my longest stretch of full days in underwear in several years.

only thing that could make today better is if I could take a giant shit.

[Kennythetiger 9376]

That shirt is awesome.  I'd wear it every Thanksgiving. 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

can you post the photo?

[DaysOff 7947]

Cunt dog has been released from jail, Grandpa is irate and screaming about how it’s absurd for colleges to dress 65 (or however many players it is) guys because they “have to be able to go both ways!”. Cunt dog is yapping incessantly to one up him.

I’m going to grab a beer

I feel like grandpa has been watching lots of Texas the last decade.

[Incredulity 11654]

Found out a month ago Thanksgiving was going to be in-law family meet up in Orlando.  Fuck me this town sucks.  Well at least the traffic and tourists.  I haven’t been here since I was a kid.

MIL threw a fit mid-morning (yesterday)that there wasn’t going to be a green bean casserole at dinner.  I got tasked with trip to WalMart for ingredients.  HO-LEE-FUK. What an utter shit-show.  20 car line up to get into the parking lot. Good luck with finding a place to park.  Line for self checkout was back into the groceries.

T+1 morning, I scrapped out the untouched green bean casserole into the trash as I assisted with clean up.

[Kennythetiger 9376]

Scope out the hotels for the Camping Bowl. 

[Sbbruin 21829]

Wife, kids, BIL and their whole crew blew out of here this afternoon. I'm headed back at first light tomorrow. But tonight is me time in a now tranquil Avalon Harbor after 2.5 days of straight rain.

[RollLeft 5040]

6 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Cunt dog has been released from jail, Grandpa is irate and screaming about how it’s absurd for colleges to dress 65 (or however many players it is) guys because they “have to be able to go both ways!”. Cunt dog is yapping incessantly to one up him.

I’m going to grab a beer

God, i hate that cunt dog.  

[BearSchlong 8083]

Wife, kids, BIL and their whole crew blew out of here this afternoon. I'm headed back at first light tomorrow. But tonight is me time in a now tranquil Avalon Harbor after 2.5 days of straight rain.

You sure do get to spend a lot of alone time in your boat, you fortunate sonofagun.

 

My only beef with Thanksgiving is that my newly fitness obsessed wife made me run the turkey trot 5k with her, then today she insisted we take a 15 mile bike ride. I'm sore.

 

Taking dad out in the morning to see if we can catch a few flounder.

 

[Buffsoldier 1895]

6 hours ago, wd40 said:

Shoulda put this on and run around the house slapping everyone's hands and yelling, "Use the cocktail stick!" in a snotty British accent.

[mulletpelini 5210]

seems like a dick move

[JimmyRussels 14]

2 hours ago, Buffsoldier said:

Shoulda put this on and run around the house slapping everyone's hands and yelling, "Use the cocktail stick!" in a snotty British accent.

Is it stick or stake. Just askin’

[G650 14243]

8 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

You sure do get to spend a lot of alone time in your boat, you fortunate sonofagun.

 

My only beef with Thanksgiving is that my newly fitness obsessed wife made me run the turkey trot 5k with her, then today she insisted we take a 15 mile bike ride. I'm sore.

 

Taking dad out in the morning to see if we can catch a few flounder.

 

Toughen up Nancy, I'm riding 100 today

[Wade 464]

On 11/28/2019 at 8:53 PM, Sbbruin said:

No real drama, but my wife got pissed at her SIL (not openly, but vented to me afterwards).  SIL says it’s a tradition in their family to have Vueve Cliquot champagne (sp?).  So she ordered 2 bottles instead of the martini I wanted.  Whatever.  But the bill comes and we split it evenly between the 3 families.  The champagne was $150/bottle.  I had one glass that probably cost me $100.

But now back on the boat in Avalon harbor by myself, (wife and kids got a hotel room) so all is well.

How was it being on that boat in that nasty ass weather?

[Sbbruin 21829]

How was it being on that boat in that nasty ass weather?

 

Better than being anywhere else. But that's just me. Rolling home.

 

Headed to UCLA v Cal tonight with the boy. Putting another shitty season out of its misery.

 

 

[Underdog 28581]

Beautiful pic. 

[Sbbruin 21829]

Fucking cold af though.  Snow on the mountains on the mainland.  But probably 45 degrees right now.  

[Underdog 28581]

T&P. 

[Sbbruin 21829]

Snowy SoCal

[PenelopeWitherspoon 19100]

This thread started so promising, but it feels like a massive letdown. Where was all the drama???

[GhostOfTomJoad 9323]

Building up for the year end holidays? 

[TrashMaster G 17547]

On 11/29/2019 at 6:56 AM, Al_4_ISU said:

You deserve some kind of award for not murdering the entire place.

 

On 11/29/2019 at 10:36 AM, Native Horn said:

Well, it does look kinda like 1991 in there.  #toosoon

#alsotooclosetoKilleen

[Armybrat 40822]

1 hour ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

This thread started so promising, but it feels like a massive letdown. Where was all the drama???

We ate all the pie.

[MissingInAction 25013]

 My dad has been sending me pics of my POS BIL laying on his couch for the past 3 days.

Come to find out the 3 time felon lost his job a couple weeks ago so he, my idiot bitch sister, and asshole nephew are moving in with the grandparents at the end of the year.

 

 

Edited November 30, 2019 by MissingInAction

[tbone_ 14112]

3 time felon huh?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21875]

I want a postmortem on [mention=752]NeverMarryAStripper[/mention]

I’m really sorry to disappoint surly, I know the holiday started out with a lot of promise. However, after mom washed her hands of the whole affair and retired to her room, all the women folk had a group hug and decided to pitch in and help. After some clean up the kitchen was mostly functional, and there is a smaller auxiliary kitchen in another part of the house. There wasn’t enough time to cook the turkey, but my brother had brought a shit load of homemade tamales from the valley. So all in all Thanksgiving was salvaged. The only real drama was when my niece announced she had divorced her DPS officer husband and when another niece’s husky tried to eat my daughter’s chihuahua.

[J.R. 150]

6 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

This thread started so promising, but it feels like a massive letdown. Where was all the drama???

I think it peaked at SB’s Luby’s field trip. It’s not often you see years subtracted from someone’s life in live pictures. 

[Incredulity 11654]

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I’m really sorry to disappoint surly, I know the holiday started out with a lot of promise. However, after mom washed her hands of the whole affair and retired to her room, all the women folk had a group hug and decided to pitch in and help. After some clean up the kitchen was mostly functional, and there is a smaller auxiliary kitchen in another part of the house. There wasn’t enough time to cook the turkey, but my brother had brought a shit load of homemade tamales from the valley. So all in all Thanksgiving was salvaged. The only real drama was when my niece announced she had divorced her DPS officer husband and when another niece’s husky tried to eat my daughter’s chihuahua.

Pics of niece’s “husky” and daughter’s “chihuahua”.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

 My dad has been sending me pics of my POS BIL laying on his couch for the past 3 days.
Come to find out the 3 time felon lost his job a couple weeks ago so he, my idiot bitch sister, and asshole nephew are moving in with the grandparents at the end of the year.
 
 

I mean besides chickfila...any place would be pleased to hire such a talented free agent

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

13 hours ago, J.R. said:

I think it peaked at SB’s Luby’s field trip. It’s not often you see years subtracted from someone’s life in live pictures. 

The $5000 oven debacle was legit, too, even if it was on another thread. We've all had kitchen disasters, but the timing and scale on that one was exquisite.

[El Diablo 4232]

Christmas holds much promise, gift giving causes such exquisite stress. 

[Guest Lobo]

If you offer once, "We'll stay in a hotel to make room for everyone else staying at your place."  That's fine, that's just good manners, it's just something you say, obviously we say back to you, "Oh, there's no need."  And we make do.  It's the four of us here, and then 7 in-laws coming in (her parents, 3 siblings, 2 spouses).  We can't sleep 11 comfortably, nowhere close to that especially considering one of the bedrooms is a functioning nursery for an 8-month old.  I would never, ever suggest that some/all of them pursue a hotel room option, but they keep bringing it up like they want extra credit for the offer.  And I know they're not gonna do it even though most of them have the means.  So just quit offering every other day, it's awkward for all of us.  You know I'm gonna "No need to do that", I know you're not gonna actually pay for a hotel, and you know that I know that so quit making it weird.  Y'all think in your 30's, 40's, and 70's that a good night's sleep is only something for idle rich so I guess quit with the facade and just come and pile in here with air mattresses and sofas like savages.  

How the fuck has expedia or orbitz not invented a feature to their app called the "Passive-Aggressive Discount Search."  If you keep mentioning to me that you can stay in a hotel even though you don't even know where the fucking hotels near me are located, that means you're not really serious about staying in a hotel.  But either of us can push to your phone an alert that says, "If you're truly serious...here are 3 hotels near Lobo for under $199/night."  Otherwise, just stop---it's weird.  9 adults in my house plus our 2 little ones because my wife can't tell them they're being ridiculous.  

[Iceman 2693]

don't people know the score/ add up the sleeping arrangements beforehand?

This coming weekend, we are travelling to family's house in CenTex area that has 2 spare bedrooms, and there's no way 20 of us are sleeping over.

Your guests should Have a fucking brain and decency and make the hotel reservation, while also being aware of the extra work the hosts are doing in meal prep/ having everyone over.

It ain't rocket surgery...and if they actually want you to stay over, they would make it clear that "Oh don't get a hotel.  You and IceWoman can have the front bedroom..."

 

Through the years, if it isn't slam dunk easy, we stay at a hotel.  It makes it easier all the way around.

Edited December 1, 2019 by Iceman

[NeverMarryAStripper 21875]

If you offer once, "We'll stay in a hotel to make room for everyone else staying at your place."  That's fine, that's just good manners, it's just something you say, obviously we say back to you, "Oh, there's no need."  And we make do.  It's the four of us here, and then 7 in-laws coming in (her parents, 3 siblings, 2 spouses).  We can't sleep 11 comfortably, nowhere close to that especially considering one of the bedrooms is a functioning nursery for an 8-month old.  I would never, ever suggest that some/all of them pursue a hotel room option, but they keep bringing it up like they want extra credit for the offer.  And I know they're not gonna do it even though most of them have the means.  So just quit offering every other day, it's awkward for all of us.  You know I'm gonna "No need to do that", I know you're not gonna actually pay for a hotel, and you know that I know that so quit making it weird.  Y'all think in your 30's, 40's, and 70's that a good night's sleep is only something for idle rich so I guess quit with the facade and just come and pile in here with air mattresses and sofas like savages.  
How the fuck has expedia or orbitz not invented a feature to their app called the "Passive-Aggressive Discount Search."  If you keep mentioning to me that you can stay in a hotel even though you don't even know where the fucking hotels near me are located, that means you're not really serious about staying in a hotel.  But either of us can push to your phone an alert that says, "If you're truly serious...here are 3 hotels near Lobo for under $199/night."  Otherwise, just stop---it's weird.  9 adults in my house plus our 2 little ones because my wife can't tell them they're being ridiculous.  

How hard is it just to reply “Thank you for the kind offer, that would be a big help. Here are some reasonably priced hotels nearby.”

[TrashMaster G 17547]

41 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

How hard is it just to reply “Thank you for the kind offer, that would be a big help. Here are some reasonably priced hotels nearby.”

No shit.  Why add to the holiday drama by being a pussy and not just being straight with people?

[ABSR 5308]

On 11/9/2019 at 10:01 AM, ABSR said:

I am part of a Jewish family, and the family where we normally go with great booze and food is also Jewish.   I agree there are lot’s of great Jewish chefs or cooks, and many for whom booze is quality and flows freely.

When I say Kosher, I mean keeping Kosher.  Two sets of dishes.  Meat and milk separate.  No pork, no shellfish.   Manischewitz  wine or other Kosher wine.  And while I am sure they are nice people, they are also 75 year olds who likely don’t care for football.

It’s the right thing to do, but it turns a usually great holiday we all enjoy into a mediocre one at best....that I get to pay a lot of money to attend.

And of course bipolar MIL who is now moving into mid stage Alzheimer’s.  

I need to start by saying I like the people who invited us to share Thanksgiving with them, and thank them as they opened their home to 5 extra guests.

We arrived a little after the Cowboy game started....but as we were watching a Harry Potter movie instead it did not really matter.  About mid 2nd quarter one of the grandkids switched to the game for a while...but based on the game another grandkid mercifully switched back in the 4th quarter after some arguing.

After coming inside one of the older “crazy” grandma’s said to my wife “Who are you?” In front of the entire room of 20+ people.  My wife explains and the lady says “You’re very pretty!”  Which sounds nice, but sends her adult daughter crying from the room as we find out she had been telling her daughter how ugly she was.

Food wise let me start by saying there was no gravy.  We did not run out, there was none.  Turkey was fine standard roast frozen turkey.  Stuffing was odd and very dry.  In place of cranberries was a cranberry like jello mold with chunks of fruit in it like pears and such.  Fist thanksgiving I can remember where I did not over eat.

For booze they had one bottle of white Moscato wine.  One.  No other booze, but my half glass may have been one of two drank from the bottle.

They opened their home to us for which I am thankful, but I did tell our normal Thanksgiving family that they did not have to be worried about being replaced.

[Guest Lobo]

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

How hard is it just to reply “Thank you for the kind offer, that would be a big help. Here are some reasonably priced hotels nearby.”

Good point, normally I would (and have in year's past).  But I'm trying to keep my wife and our family-her parents/sisters (my daughters' grandparents and Aunts) on better terms and keep them encouraged come visit and be a part of the girls' lives.  Other than a few cousins of mine, none of my family is engaged with my children (my mother and middle sister would like to be but can't for physical reasons).  So this is it for family engagement.  You start to put up with shit so your children will have some semblance of family connection, however twisted.  

But yeah, no harm in me mentioning some hotel deals if they ask again between now and their visit.  And they will ask again.  Thanks. 

[Sbbruin 21829]

22 hours ago, El Diablo said:

Christmas holds much promise, gift giving causes such exquisite stress. 

Was it @pearlandhorn who got the equivalent of a ball of string or some such?  I think so, and I was in stitches.

[babysdaddy 2720]

No real update for me.  Dog was clipped so no misbehaving.  Sis was sick, kids were sick, dad was sick, and stepmom just was her normal level of batshit.  Sis was too beatdown to fight so we just kinda had a normal thanksgiving. 

Luby's pics are money as is the 'no doors' guy.  

[Iceman 2693]

On 11/30/2019 at 11:28 AM, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

This thread started so promising, but it feels like a massive letdown. Where was all the drama???

We're barely halfway down the backstretch...

[MissingInAction 25013]

On 11/30/2019 at 5:21 PM, tbone_ said:

3 time felon huh?

I dont kmow how many but I love reminding him he cant vote when starts slobbing Trumps orange pecker around me.

[Goofyboy 3269]

Did not see it mentioned on here and wanted to make sure it made the thread - my wife clogged the garbage disposal. Year number I don’t know that it has happened. Outside of that (and really that’s no big deal), Thanksgiving was great.

[pearlandhorn 3269]

4 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

Was it @pearlandhorn who got the equivalent of a ball of string or some such?  I think so, and I was in stitches.

It was weed-whacker string thank you very much.  And I'm still using it to this day.

Thanksgiving was actually pretty good as my SILs were not there.

Christmas is going to be a shitshow.  Both SILs are uber-liberal, woman empowering nazis whose significant others are "yes ma'am" type of guys.  It's rather nauseating.  I dread Christmas even though I'm trying to have a better attitude about it because of my 3-year old. 

I'll definitely be updating this thread on my treasures received from my inlaws.

[hornbri 1396]

On 12/1/2019 at 12:26 PM, Lobo said:

Good point, normally I would (and have in year's past).  But I'm trying to keep my wife and our family-her parents/sisters (my daughters' grandparents and Aunts) on better terms and keep them encouraged come visit and be a part of the girls' lives.  Other than a few cousins of mine, none of my family is engaged with my children (my mother and middle sister would like to be but can't for physical reasons).  So this is it for family engagement.  You start to put up with shit so your children will have some semblance of family connection, however twisted.  

But yeah, no harm in me mentioning some hotel deals if they ask again between now and their visit.  And they will ask again.  Thanks. 

Not only should you say that, it is possible they realize they will be more comfortable staying elsewhere but feel obligated to stay at your place since you keep telling them it is not a problem...