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Official 2019 bitch about family/holiday drama thread

Nice Guy Eddie

By Nice Guy Eddie
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Iceman

Iceman 2725

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1 hour ago, Spur08 said:

They were told dishwasher was empty. Seems common manners, no?

 

I agree.

Many points scored through the years doing dishes so the ladies could sit and visit( and not bother us) and then later when we want to watch football or whatever they leave us the fuck alone.  Maybe it's just the way I'm wired, but I've done it for years, at their house or mine...

If i don't know where something goes, I ask... Never been kicked out of the kitchen yet.  Oh, and it's quality boozing time, as well.

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52558

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My MIL used to unload the dishwasher without asking, but she would just put things in random places based on a) where those things go in her kitchen and b) where she thinks they should go based on the layout of our kitchen. Highly aggravating. 
but, that shit all ended when we moved away from everyone. 

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40868

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1 hour ago, Iceman said:

 

I agree.

Many points scored through the years doing dishes so the ladies could sit and visit( and not bother us) and then later when we want to watch football or whatever they leave us the fuck alone.  Maybe it's just the way I'm wired, but I've done it for years, at their house or mine...

If i don't know where something goes, I ask... Never been kicked out of the kitchen yet.  Oh, and it's quality boozing time, as well.

I do the dishes after all our regular meals, but sons & grandsons clean up after holiday dinners. Family tradition.

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

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In laws, BIL, and gf are in town

I made breakfast, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher so it is now empty...

Come back to the sink after eating and...
31120bc0943ff61832e272188f046a25.jpg
The worst. So happy my inlaws moved to my town so their normal 3-4 day stay is over in like 6 hrs.

Theyd leave their dishes at the table so youre one step ahead of me
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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 25167

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56 minutes ago, luke duke said:


I don’t think that’s it. They have plenty of money and are generous in certain ways (they took the whole family to Disney World) and incredibly cheap in other ways (see above).

You fail to appreciate the cuntery that is a narcissist because you are a generous person.

Good people arent operating in their spectrum of evil.

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Al_4_ISU

Al_4_ISU 12476

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On 12/21/2019 at 4:04 PM, Knoxtnhorn said:

Not really specific to the holidays, but my wife is currently going through her usual routine of waiting until the last second to get her part of the house cleaning complete.  We have friends coming in from Georgia tonight and a Christmas party tomorrow.  Usually goes something like this:

1) Talk about these grandiose cleaning plans for weeks... "I'm going to do this, and then tomorrow this, and then Saturday this..."

2) Wait until the final day.

3) Find some reason to go shopping.

4) Frantically run around and scream at the kids for 4 hours while trying to get everything done.

If it weren't for the "kids" part, I'd assume you were talking about my wife.  She works at a school, so she's off right now.  Been talking all weekend about how she's going to clean the house today, and I bet $100 she's still sleeping, and when I get home later, rather than being able to work out and get ready to head to the in-law's, I'll have to help her finish and pack everything despite having all fucking day to do stuff, and the fact that our house isn't that dirty because we don't have kids, our dog is 12 lbs (and incapable of making much of a mess), and we've barely been home in the past week.

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4448

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My wife wants us (in North Dallas) to meet her Grandmother (lives in Austin) for lunch in Waco tomorrow. Not exactly fun, but grandma gets to spend time with her great grand kids. So fine, whatever.  Okay, tell her we'll go to Ninfa's or Buzzard Billy's or some other kinda nice place.

Get home Saturday night. "So everybody is meeting at the Cracker Barrel in Hewitt at noon."

So, now I'm driving two fucking hours to eat at a god damn cracker barrel. Jesus fucking christ.

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4448

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On 12/21/2019 at 4:04 PM, Knoxtnhorn said:

Not really specific to the holidays, but my wife is currently going through her usual routine of waiting until the last second to get her part of the house cleaning complete.  We have friends coming in from Georgia tonight and a Christmas party tomorrow.  Usually goes something like this:

1) Talk about these grandiose cleaning plans for weeks... "I'm going to do this, and then tomorrow this, and then Saturday this..."

2) Wait until the final day.

3) Find some reason to go shopping.

4) Frantically run around and scream at the kids for 4 hours while trying to get everything done.

Whenever Knox has a party, I usually come over about 2 hours before everyone just to listen to the screams. It's entertaining once you know nobody is getting stabbed.

It's literally two hours of his wife and kid screaming at each other while me and knox drink beer and watch whatever game is on. Bonus points for when it gets to the point that knox begins muttering under his breath "jusus fucking christ. what now??"

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

My wife wants us (in North Dallas) to meet her Grandmother (lives in Austin) for lunch in Waco tomorrow. Not exactly fun, but grandma gets to spend time with her great grand kids. So fine, whatever.  Okay, tell her we'll go to Ninfa's or Buzzard Billy's or some other kinda nice place.

Get home Saturday night. "So everybody is meeting at the Cracker Barrel in Hewitt at noon."

So, now I'm driving two fucking hours to eat at a god damn cracker barrel. Jesus fucking christ.

At least you have a Cracker barrel, some folks have to eat at the Mac Donalds, or Ruby Tuesday or god forbid a Chilis.

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Al_4_ISU

Al_4_ISU 12476

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She works at a school, 
Coincidentally, my wife is a teacher.  Maybe that's part of the equation.


I think we’re on to something.

I have to give her credit. House was cleaned, car was packed, I’m working out now, and we’ll be to the in-laws in time for Vikes/Pack.

This might be a trap.
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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8819

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On 11/7/2019 at 9:55 PM, markstanco said:

Mentioned before in threads past and I will again: men's Thanksgiving get together.

A friends dad started this over 40 years ago and we continue the tradition. Martini Matinee starts at 10a and ends at 11a SHARP. There is vodka and gin. No beer, no wine, no anything else. Of course olives and onions, but basically it is gin/vodka over ice in a pewter cup. Coat and tie is mandatory. No women allowed, even if the hosting house is cooking dinner, she isnt allowed to come out.

That's how you East Texas, bitches.

I think I love you Mr Stanco...

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Larry T. Spider

Larry T. Spider 1747

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Heading to the in-laws for three days tomorrow morning. We used to go thanksgiving and Christmas but I have managed to reduce it down. It’s always a minor disaster with some really obnoxious people. Let’s meet the cast of characters so that the play by play will be easier later.

Wife: seeing her family is very important to her. She will also start bitching about how we are surrounded by lunatics within the first 30 minutes. When it’s time for another visit she will have somehow forgotten. She tries to appease MIL, which is an impossible task. Only sibling worth a shit because she left and never went back.

MIL: Very domineering personality. She’s really weird and also very controlling so we always get roped into bizarre things. She’s very judgmental towards everyone, but nobody else is allowed to be the same way toward a family member or she will snap at you. She is a very picky eater but controls the menu. We are having a rib roast but she will not touch anything unless it’s burned to shit. Instead of having all of our food ruined (again) I’m getting FIL to cut her off an end piece to turn into smoldering shoe leather. 100% chance of a story about her coming up.

FIL: really nice guy and a good cook of traditional food but has a really narrow window of what he deems acceptable. Really just a narrow world view that’s getting worse by the year, thanks largely to Fox News. He does his best to keep the peace but will not get in the way of MIL at any cost. 5% chance of a story

BIL: He is MIL’s perfect angel who can do no wrong. She talks shit about all her friends kids and adores him. BIL is in his 30s and lives at home. He’s not a bad guy, just makes poor life choices and is an overall waste of potential because he is so coddled. He has never had to face any real world consequences. I will find out about yet another thing they are doing for him in the next few days. They don’t trust him to do anything on his own because he will screw it up...but he never has the opportunity to learn. He drinks too much and has made a scene before. He also likes to invite trashy women who he meets at bars over for Christmas dinner. They also make a scene sometimes. He was immediately pulled aside and told “she’s not the one” by MIL last year. 70% chance of a story

Wildcard: any chick BIL brings over. 100% of a story if one comes. Last years girl brought her daughter who was calling BIL “daddy”. Several near heart attacks in the room.

SIL: was really batshit crazy in her earlier years and put the family through hell. Never did anything to better herself but latched on to an upper middle class guy. Hasn’t worked a day in at least 10 years, even before she had kids. The family pretends that nothing bad ever happened with her. She has the same personality as MIL and they butt heads a lot. She will have  kids with her that she won’t parent. 50% chance of a story. 100% chance of yelling and bitching about stuff.

Family friends that come over: all old, all trumpkins that have weird obsessions. 100% chance of bitching about gays, Muslims, scammers, Hollywood, liberals, etc.

Prediction: first update will be MIL freaking out about something nonsensical and driving everybody crazy by 6:00 tomorrow evening.

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

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Heading to the in-laws for three days tomorrow morning. We used to go thanksgiving and Christmas but I have managed to reduce it down. It’s always a minor disaster with some really obnoxious people. Let’s meet the cast of characters so that the play by play will be easier later.
Wife: seeing her family is very important to her. She will also start bitching about how we are surrounded by lunatics within the first 30 minutes. When it’s time for another visit she will have somehow forgotten. She tries to appease MIL, which is an impossible task. Only sibling worth a shit because she left and never went back.
MIL: Very domineering personality. She’s really weird and also very controlling so we always get roped into bizarre things. She’s very judgmental towards everyone, but nobody else is allowed to be the same way toward a family member or she will snap at you. She is a very picky eater but controls the menu. We are having a rib roast but she will not touch anything unless it’s burned to shit. Instead of having all of our food ruined (again) I’m getting FIL to cut her off an end piece to turn into smoldering shoe leather. 100% chance of a story about her coming up.
FIL: really nice guy and a good cook of traditional food but has a really narrow window of what he deems acceptable. Really just a narrow world view that’s getting worse by the year, thanks largely to Fox News. He does his best to keep the peace but will not get in the way of MIL at any cost. 5% chance of a story
BIL: He is MIL’s perfect angel who can do no wrong. She talks shit about all her friends kids and adores him. BIL is in his 30s and lives at home. He’s not a bad guy, just makes poor life choices and is an overall waste of potential because he is so coddled. He has never had to face any real world consequences. I will find out about yet another thing they are doing for him in the next few days. They don’t trust him to do anything on his own because he will screw it up...but he never has the opportunity to learn. He drinks too much and has made a scene before. He also likes to invite trashy women who he meets at bars over for Christmas dinner. They also make a scene sometimes. He was immediately pulled aside and told “she’s not the one” by MIL last year. 70% chance of a story
Wildcard: any chick BIL brings over. 100% of a story if one comes. Last years girl brought her daughter who was calling BIL “daddy”. Several near heart attacks in the room.
SIL: was really batshit crazy in her earlier years and put the family through hell. Never did anything to better herself but latched on to an upper middle class guy. Hasn’t worked a day in at least 10 years, even before she had kids. The family pretends that nothing bad ever happened with her. She has the same personality as MIL and they butt heads a lot. She will have  kids with her that she won’t parent. 50% chance of a story. 100% chance of yelling and bitching about stuff.
Family friends that come over: all old, all trumpkins that have weird obsessions. 100% chance of bitching about gays, Muslims, scammers, Hollywood, liberals, etc.
Prediction: first update will be MIL freaking out about something nonsensical and driving everybody crazy by 6:00 tomorrow evening.
Goodbye and good luck. Just remember, we're always one click away if you need to vent
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nnm

nnm 36554

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6 hours ago, Larry T. Spider said:

Heading to the in-laws for three days tomorrow morning. We used to go thanksgiving and Christmas but I have managed to reduce it down. It’s always a minor disaster with some really obnoxious people. Let’s meet the cast of characters so that the play by play will be easier later.

Wife: seeing her family is very important to her. She will also start bitching about how we are surrounded by lunatics within the first 30 minutes. When it’s time for another visit she will have somehow forgotten. She tries to appease MIL, which is an impossible task. Only sibling worth a shit because she left and never went back.

MIL: Very domineering personality. She’s really weird and also very controlling so we always get roped into bizarre things. She’s very judgmental towards everyone, but nobody else is allowed to be the same way toward a family member or she will snap at you. She is a very picky eater but controls the menu. We are having a rib roast but she will not touch anything unless it’s burned to shit. Instead of having all of our food ruined (again) I’m getting FIL to cut her off an end piece to turn into smoldering shoe leather. 100% chance of a story about her coming up.

FIL: really nice guy and a good cook of traditional food but has a really narrow window of what he deems acceptable. Really just a narrow world view that’s getting worse by the year, thanks largely to Fox News. He does his best to keep the peace but will not get in the way of MIL at any cost. 5% chance of a story

BIL: He is MIL’s perfect angel who can do no wrong. She talks shit about all her friends kids and adores him. BIL is in his 30s and lives at home. He’s not a bad guy, just makes poor life choices and is an overall waste of potential because he is so coddled. He has never had to face any real world consequences. I will find out about yet another thing they are doing for him in the next few days. They don’t trust him to do anything on his own because he will screw it up...but he never has the opportunity to learn. He drinks too much and has made a scene before. He also likes to invite trashy women who he meets at bars over for Christmas dinner. They also make a scene sometimes. He was immediately pulled aside and told “she’s not the one” by MIL last year. 70% chance of a story

Wildcard: any chick BIL brings over. 100% of a story if one comes. Last years girl brought her daughter who was calling BIL “daddy”. Several near heart attacks in the room.

SIL: was really batshit crazy in her earlier years and put the family through hell. Never did anything to better herself but latched on to an upper middle class guy. Hasn’t worked a day in at least 10 years, even before she had kids. The family pretends that nothing bad ever happened with her. She has the same personality as MIL and they butt heads a lot. She will have  kids with her that she won’t parent. 50% chance of a story. 100% chance of yelling and bitching about stuff.

Family friends that come over: all old, all trumpkins that have weird obsessions. 100% chance of bitching about gays, Muslims, scammers, Hollywood, liberals, etc.

Prediction: first update will be MIL freaking out about something nonsensical and driving everybody crazy by 6:00 tomorrow evening.

Bravo. The scene is set. Act II is about to unfold. We eagerly await the next chapter. 

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21920

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Heading to the in-laws for three days tomorrow morning. We used to go thanksgiving and Christmas but I have managed to reduce it down. It’s always a minor disaster with some really obnoxious people. Let’s meet the cast of characters so that the play by play will be easier later.
Wife: seeing her family is very important to her. She will also start bitching about how we are surrounded by lunatics within the first 30 minutes. When it’s time for another visit she will have somehow forgotten. She tries to appease MIL, which is an impossible task. Only sibling worth a shit because she left and never went back.
MIL: Very domineering personality. She’s really weird and also very controlling so we always get roped into bizarre things. She’s very judgmental towards everyone, but nobody else is allowed to be the same way toward a family member or she will snap at you. She is a very picky eater but controls the menu. We are having a rib roast but she will not touch anything unless it’s burned to shit. Instead of having all of our food ruined (again) I’m getting FIL to cut her off an end piece to turn into smoldering shoe leather. 100% chance of a story about her coming up.
FIL: really nice guy and a good cook of traditional food but has a really narrow window of what he deems acceptable. Really just a narrow world view that’s getting worse by the year, thanks largely to Fox News. He does his best to keep the peace but will not get in the way of MIL at any cost. 5% chance of a story
BIL: He is MIL’s perfect angel who can do no wrong. She talks shit about all her friends kids and adores him. BIL is in his 30s and lives at home. He’s not a bad guy, just makes poor life choices and is an overall waste of potential because he is so coddled. He has never had to face any real world consequences. I will find out about yet another thing they are doing for him in the next few days. They don’t trust him to do anything on his own because he will screw it up...but he never has the opportunity to learn. He drinks too much and has made a scene before. He also likes to invite trashy women who he meets at bars over for Christmas dinner. They also make a scene sometimes. He was immediately pulled aside and told “she’s not the one” by MIL last year. 70% chance of a story
Wildcard: any chick BIL brings over. 100% of a story if one comes. Last years girl brought her daughter who was calling BIL “daddy”. Several near heart attacks in the room.
SIL: was really batshit crazy in her earlier years and put the family through hell. Never did anything to better herself but latched on to an upper middle class guy. Hasn’t worked a day in at least 10 years, even before she had kids. The family pretends that nothing bad ever happened with her. She has the same personality as MIL and they butt heads a lot. She will have  kids with her that she won’t parent. 50% chance of a story. 100% chance of yelling and bitching about stuff.
Family friends that come over: all old, all trumpkins that have weird obsessions. 100% chance of bitching about gays, Muslims, scammers, Hollywood, liberals, etc.
Prediction: first update will be MIL freaking out about something nonsensical and driving everybody crazy by 6:00 tomorrow evening.

I read that in Morgan Freeman’s voice
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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9430

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5 hours ago, davidg said:

 


This is the industrial sized roll, right? Can we get a photo of that sometime and what is the estimate on how long the supply will hold out?

 

I was wrapping my presents yesterday and thought there was a relative of someone on Shag that had a giant roll of paper. Guess this answers that. 

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BradInATX

BradInATX 9208

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My wife wants us (in North Dallas) to meet her Grandmother (lives in Austin) for lunch in Waco tomorrow. Not exactly fun, but grandma gets to spend time with her great grand kids. So fine, whatever.  Okay, tell her we'll go to Ninfa's or Buzzard Billy's or some other kinda nice place. Get home Saturday night. "So everybody is meeting at the Cracker Barrel in Hewitt at noon." So, now I'm driving two fucking hours to eat at a god damn cracker barrel. Jesus fucking christ. 

 

 

I'll be there at that same one at some point today. FIL loves that effing place. Wife already pulled the flask out for me at least. She knows. The only question is whether I start drinking now or once we hit Belton. Don't know about you but I'm psyched to eat frozen Tyson chicken strips on Christmas Eve amongst the good humble citizens of Waco and surrounding areas.

I guess it's in the spirit of the season, as the Waco Cracker Barrel denizens always remind me of the story of Jesus and the lepers.

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G650

G650 14273

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Larry T. Spider said:

Heading to the in-laws for three days tomorrow morning. We used to go thanksgiving and Christmas but I have managed to reduce it down. It’s always a minor disaster with some really obnoxious people. Let’s meet the cast of characters so that the play by play will be easier later.

Wife: seeing her family is very important to her. She will also start bitching about how we are surrounded by lunatics within the first 30 minutes. When it’s time for another visit she will have somehow forgotten. She tries to appease MIL, which is an impossible task. Only sibling worth a shit because she left and never went back.

MIL: Very domineering personality. She’s really weird and also very controlling so we always get roped into bizarre things. She’s very judgmental towards everyone, but nobody else is allowed to be the same way toward a family member or she will snap at you. She is a very picky eater but controls the menu. We are having a rib roast but she will not touch anything unless it’s burned to shit. Instead of having all of our food ruined (again) I’m getting FIL to cut her off an end piece to turn into smoldering shoe leather. 100% chance of a story about her coming up.

FIL: really nice guy and a good cook of traditional food but has a really narrow window of what he deems acceptable. Really just a narrow world view that’s getting worse by the year, thanks largely to Fox News. He does his best to keep the peace but will not get in the way of MIL at any cost. 5% chance of a story

BIL: He is MIL’s perfect angel who can do no wrong. She talks shit about all her friends kids and adores him. BIL is in his 30s and lives at home. He’s not a bad guy, just makes poor life choices and is an overall waste of potential because he is so coddled. He has never had to face any real world consequences. I will find out about yet another thing they are doing for him in the next few days. They don’t trust him to do anything on his own because he will screw it up...but he never has the opportunity to learn. He drinks too much and has made a scene before. He also likes to invite trashy women who he meets at bars over for Christmas dinner. They also make a scene sometimes. He was immediately pulled aside and told “she’s not the one” by MIL last year. 70% chance of a story

Wildcard: any chick BIL brings over. 100% of a story if one comes. Last years girl brought her daughter who was calling BIL “daddy”. Several near heart attacks in the room.

SIL: was really batshit crazy in her earlier years and put the family through hell. Never did anything to better herself but latched on to an upper middle class guy. Hasn’t worked a day in at least 10 years, even before she had kids. The family pretends that nothing bad ever happened with her. She has the same personality as MIL and they butt heads a lot. She will have  kids with her that she won’t parent. 50% chance of a story. 100% chance of yelling and bitching about stuff.

Family friends that come over: all old, all trumpkins that have weird obsessions. 100% chance of bitching about gays, Muslims, scammers, Hollywood, liberals, etc.

Prediction: first update will be MIL freaking out about something nonsensical and driving everybody crazy by 6:00 tomorrow evening.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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58 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Those of you bitching about Cracker Barrel should try its redheaded stepchild knockoff, the Machine Shed before casting stones. Same country store lobby concept and shitty food, but tons of it. Dedicated to the midwestern farmer, they like their shit bland. 

I'll have to recommend it to my in-laws.  They love eating in chains wherever they go.  I can never get them to try anything good or adventuresome in Austin.  It's Pizza Hut, Subway, or iHOP every damn time.  I got them to at least try a Saltgrass years and years ago.  And they really like their food bland as hell.  Everything, especially the meat, always overcooked.  But they salt the shit out of everything.  They salt everything from eggs to vegetables before they cook them.  Then they add salt after the food has been plated and served.  And ketchup on everything, which I'm told contains salt.  Wife and I no longer give a shit about it, we just let them do the cooking when they visit, which is actually kinda nice though the meals are insanely redundant.  

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