Official 2019 bitch about family/holiday drama thread

[luke duke 6,412]

Did not see it mentioned on here and wanted to make sure it made the thread - my wife clogged the garbage disposal. Year number I don’t know that it has happened.

Tell her to stop trimming her pubes in the kitchen.

[Guest Lobo]

I told them that because for a decade+, it wasn't a problem.. They missed the part where we had two kids and the hotel was invented.  Nevermind, was just venting on a thread about venting about family drama at holidays.  Forget it.  

[Iceman 2,694]

7 hours ago, Goofyboy said:

Did not see it mentioned on here and wanted to make sure it made the thread - my wife clogged the garbage disposal

Tell her to stop shitting in the sink...

[Goofyboy 3,269]

Tell her to stop shitting in the sink...

Sweet Potato skins you heathens.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13,509]

It’s definitely odd when the cousins, you never see, want to stay over instead of getting a hotel room or two. If you want to spend more time with everyone then don’t wait 5 years to visit. But now you want 6 people sleeping in the living room.

i get wanting to be frugal but at some point in your life, you should want an actual bed for everyone. And you usually can find reasonable hotel rooms in most areas.

[Guest Lobo]

And the other relatives invariably make the excuse for them, “oh they don’t like to spend money on hotel rooms.”   Like that’s some kinda bold, Orman-sequel stance on finances.  Yeah, nobody likes dropping $200 night at the holidays just to sleep and catch a shower.  But adults in the real world save up and do it so we are not an inconvenience to the homeowners.  
 

seeing five adults strewn about the sofas and air mattresses is odd to see. 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,817]

Im so happy i no longer need to travel, or worry about sleeping arrangements for the holidays.

God speed Lobo. We're here for you the entire way.

[Iceman 2,694]

7 hours ago, Lobo said:

And the other relatives invariably make the excuse for them, “oh they don’t like to spend money on hotel rooms.”   Like that’s some kinda bold, Orman-sequel stance on finances.  Yeah, nobody likes dropping $200 night at the holidays just to sleep and catch a shower.  But adults in the real world save up and do it so we are not an inconvenience to the homeowners.  
 

seeing five adults strewn about the sofas and air mattresses is odd to see. 

Most places in Texas offer a 2.5 to 3* room for under $100 if you know how to fucking shop.  Then if you're even more into that "just a place to crash" thing, split it with another couple in the family you halfway like.

It ain't difficult.  People just want to be inconsiderate, lazy, and stupid.  Celebrate the holidays!

[Buffsoldier 1,895]

12 hours ago, Iceman said:

Tell her to stop shitting in the sink...

 

12 hours ago, Goofyboy said:

Sweet Potato skins you heathens.

 

Tell her to stop shitting sweet potato skins in the sink.

Or tell her to chew her food better. 

Edited December 3, 2019 by Buffsoldier

[Armybrat 40,824]

8 hours ago, Lobo said:

And the other relatives invariably make the excuse for them, “oh they don’t like to spend money on hotel rooms.”   Like that’s some kinda bold, Orman-sequel stance on finances.  Yeah, nobody likes dropping $200 night at the holidays just to sleep and catch a shower.  But adults in the real world save up and do it so we are not an inconvenience to the homeowners.  
 

seeing five adults strewn about the sofas and air mattresses is odd to see. 

I’m kind of a hotel tightwad, but am fixing to spend $700 for a two night stay at the Grand Hyatt on the Riverwalk to see the Alamo Bowl. It’s a New Years Eve package.

Never have spent more than $150/night for a hotel room except for my son’s wedding in the Bahamas 16 years ago.

[Parliament 14,247]

I’m kind of a hotel tightwad, but am fixing to spend $700 for a two night stay at the Grand Hyatt on the Riverwalk to see the Alamo Bowl. It’s a New Years Eve package.
Never have spent more than $150/night for a hotel room except for my son’s wedding in the Bahamas 16 years ago.

Gotta do it once before you die.

[Guest Lobo]

I think that's the new motto for Hyatt Hotels.  

"Staying with Hilton?  What are ya', gonna live forever?  Come to the Grand Hyatt before you go..."  

[BearSchlong 8,083]

@Armybrat they have these new fangled things called credit cards, if you funnel your regular everyday household expenses through them you can earn something called points, which you can exchange for free hotel rooms.  Plus you don't have to keep stuffing greenbacks in your mattress, the FDIC guarantees deposits nowadays so you don't ever again have to worry about a run on the bank like you did during the depression.  PM Spankytoes for more info.

[workswithseed 2,090]

I actually need to start paying my bills with the cc. Thanks for the friendly tip.

[Armybrat 40,824]

We already use a cc to get enough points for two “free” r/t flights on SWA twice a year. Don’t use it for paying bills though.

we don’t write checks anymore either, except to pay taxes.

Edited December 3, 2019 by Armybrat

[tbone_ 14,113]

we don’t write checks anymore either, except to pay taxes.

Don’t even have to do that. Check out EFTPS.

[BurdineBandit 815]

Checks to pay taxes, bc fuck 'em, that's why!

 

 

At least it'd be a lot cooler if that was the reasoning.

[Parliament 14,247]

I see the Shaggy 1% has found this thread. But while you’re hear, can you tell me if I can have my EITC direct-deposited into my hedge account?

[AUS-97HORN 11,757]

2 hours ago, Armybrat said:

I’m kind of a hotel tightwad, but am fixing to spend $700 for a two night stay at the Grand Hyatt on the Riverwalk to see the Alamo Bowl. It’s a New Years Eve package.

you do realize there is a better than 50% chance we arent playing at the Alamo Bowl this year, right?

[Armybrat 40,824]

3 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

you do realize there is a better than 50% chance we arent playing at the Alamo Bowl this year, right?

We have had the same 50 yard line tickets to every Alamo Bowl since it debuted 25 years ago. It’s always just a 2 night holiday getaway for us no matter who is playing...... except aggy (sold those to my neighbor).

This is the first time the bowl game has been scheduled on New Year’s Eve, so it might be a bit different. There’s a post game party at the dome, and a pool party at midnight at the hotel.

[Underdog 28,584]

Good on you, AB.  Took jr down for the AB when Michigan/Nebraska played years ago, game had a crazy ending almost like Stanford/Cal. 

Edited December 3, 2019 by Underdog

[huge 3,793]

I went for the Brandin Cooks game and couldn't get over how much the tickets cost...

[Armybrat 40,824]

Well, my balls have already dropped, so not much need for me to stay up until midnight.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,875]

Well, my balls have already dropped, so not much need for me to stay up until midnight.

I can’t remember the last time I stayed up until midnight on NYE, but then I can’t remember a lot of things these days.

[El Diablo 4,232]

NYE is an amateur night.

[tx 3 putt 76,873]

8 hours ago, Armybrat said:

a pool party at midnight at the hotel.

better pack that speedo 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,875]

Mrs Brat said his speedo is plenty packed

[Pato del Muerto 52,487]

Have loved this thread ever since we moved 1500 miles away from any relatives. 
 

This must be how the divorced guys feel when they read the wives thread. 

Edited December 4, 2019 by Pato del Muerto

[Scheiss Meister 8,407]

On 12/2/2019 at 7:44 PM, Goofyboy said:

 

Sweet Potato skins you heathens.

 

Her pubes are sweet potato skins?

[mulletpelini 5,210]

On 12/3/2019 at 10:58 AM, Underdog said:

Good on you, AB.  Took jr down for the AB when Michigan/Nebraska played years ago, game had a crazy ending almost like Stanford/Cal. 

That's exactly what I was gonna ask him about, that was a helluva game.  First bowl game Nebraska played in HD.

[LonghornJones 837]

After we eat lunch and have had quite a few drinks, our family usually goes to their cars to get their guns. We redneck. We head out to the field and shoot at pumpkins that my dad has set up on some round bails.

We had 2 women bring their guns this year. The first walks behind me while I'm on the couch next to my 6 yr old nephew. She plops her handbag up on the back of the couch, unzips the purse, and pulls out a little 6 shooter .22 right by my nephews head. I ask if its loaded. Her response "I don't know".

The second woman pulls her .25 (never heard of one of these) in the other room 3 minutes later. I ask if it's loaded. Her response "I don't know".

My brain nearly explodes and I immediately walk away to grab another beer.

[GhostOfTomJoad 9,323]

Yesterday my dad sent me a text (this is a huge development;until he finally an iPhone last year not only was texting he blocked all incoming texts to his phone to save on data charges). The purpose of the text? To alert me that he'd sent a mailer via ups with a scheduled delivery date of this Sat. He included the tracking #, and asked me to confirm receipt. Which, of course, he'll be aware of since he's tracking the shipment as well.

What could be so important, you ask? I can tell you without looking since this has been going on for the past 15 years. The padded envelope will include our xmas card and a $100 Amazon GC. In turn, we will send them $100 in restaurant GCs. Despite my questioning repeatedly over the years the absurdity of us doing this, the tradition continues.

My middle sister received the same text. Our oldest sister is estranged and has been cut off due to her finally having had enough of his toxic, lying wildebeest of a wife trying to meddle in her family's life. I often think she's the lucky one, but since I'm his only son & executor I've gotta carry a different load.

[Rougarou 594]

55 minutes ago, LonghornJones said:

 

My brain nearly explodes and I immediately walk away to grab another beer.

Your 6 year old nephew's brain, you mean.

[LonghornJones 837]

1 hour ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

 but since I'm his only son & executor I've gotta carry a different load.

Do you enjoy carrying his load?

[workswithseed 2,090]

1 hour ago, LonghornJones said:

Do you enjoy carrying his load?

I mean, he was once in a load his.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,875]

2 hours ago, LonghornJones said:

After we eat lunch and have had quite a few drinks, our family usually goes to their cars to get their guns. We redneck. We head out to the field and shoot at pumpkins that my dad has set up on some round bails.

We had 2 women bring their guns this year. The first walks behind me while I'm on the couch next to my 6 yr old nephew. She plops her handbag up on the back of the couch, unzips the purse, and pulls out a little 6 shooter .22 right by my nephews head. I ask if its loaded. Her response "I don't know".

The second woman pulls her .25 (never heard of one of these) in the other room 3 minutes later. I ask if it's loaded. Her response "I don't know".

My brain nearly explodes and I immediately walk away to grab another beer.

Since she should be treating it as if it was loaded, it really shouldn't matter whether or not she actually knows if it's loaded or not.  Any way if she said it wasn't loaded in all likely hood it would be and she would have blown someone's head off because she was treating it like it wasn't loaded.

[Pato del Muerto 52,487]

18 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Since she should be treating it as if it was loaded, it really shouldn't matter whether or not she actually knows if it's loaded or not.  Any way if she said it wasn't loaded in all likely hood it would be and she would have blown someone's head off because she was treating it like it wasn't loaded.

Don’t be silly. A.22 isn’t blowing anyone’s head off. 

[ImissWallyPryor 9,046]

A millennial family member just mentioned in a group text that he would like for people to try to come to his house for Christmas (actually after Christmas because this is his wife’s family’s turn for Christmas) because he and his pregnant wife will be in full “nesting” mode. Since when do men have a nesting instinct? What are they teaching kids these days? Get off my lawn before you answer!

[nnm 36,353]

18 minutes ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

A millennial family member just mentioned in a group text that he would like for people to try to come to his house for Christmas (actually after Christmas because this is his wife’s family’s turn for Christmas) because he and his pregnant wife will be in full “nesting” mode. Since when do men have a nesting instinct? What are they teaching kids these days? Get off my lawn before you answer!

When Mr. X's wife is nesting, Mr. X is also nesting.  You think that nest builds itself?  

[ImissWallyPryor 9,046]

Just now, nnm said:

When Mr. X's wife is nesting, Mr. X is also nesting.  You think that nest builds itself?  

Oh, I’ve been there four times. It’s more of a survival instinct for me. 

[fattyflattie 4,639]

Nesting huh?   My SIL (~12-15 younger) recently sent out a text to the family that didn’t sit well with me.  So I reminded her we were doing adult shit while she was cuddling a cabbage patch. I don’t think she understood the reference, sentiment, or even wtf a cabbage patch is.   A few did tho, so worth the rustled jimmies.

eta: they would be the type to “nest” and let us know about it. 

Edited December 5, 2019 by fattyflattie

[MissingInAction 25,014]

I nest on my couch with chicken wings, beer, and whiskey on the reg. 

[freyguy 4,264]

6 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Don’t be silly. A.22 isn’t blowing anyone’s head off. 

[Kennythetiger 9,376]

10 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Yesterday my dad sent me a text (this is a huge development;until he finally an iPhone last year not only was texting he blocked all incoming texts to his phone to save on data charges). The purpose of the text? To alert me that he'd sent a mailer via ups with a scheduled delivery date of this Sat. He included the tracking #, and asked me to confirm receipt. Which, of course, he'll be aware of since he's tracking the shipment as well.

What could be so important, you ask? I can tell you without looking since this has been going on for the past 15 years. The padded envelope will include our xmas card and a $100 Amazon GC. In turn, we will send them $100 in restaurant GCs. Despite my questioning repeatedly over the years the absurdity of us doing this, the tradition continues.

My middle sister received the same text. Our oldest sister is estranged and has been cut off due to her finally having had enough of his toxic, lying wildebeest of a wife trying to meddle in her family's life. I often think she's the lucky one, but since I'm his only son & executor I've gotta carry a different load.
 

Two days ago my family decided that this year we can buy presents for the kids if we would like, but no adult-adult gifts anymore.  My brother and I have been trading $50 gift cards for the better part of our adult lives.  Now we can pool our money and get my sister's kids a drum set. 

[EE2B 1,565]

One of my mother-in-laws called my wife today and asked her if it was ok if she gave our youngest a peppa the pig and George toy for Christmas. Most people would assume there was no issue with this and ordinarily they would be correct. The problem with this particular gift is that these toys were purchased at an auction today in Waskom, Tx. The last thing she presented us from an auction was a blanket “for the baby” that had blood stains on them. She explained that she washed it “real good” before she gave it to us. I can’t wait to see what these mother fuckers look like.

[Buffsoldier 1,895]

Let's back up there just a sec.

Just how many mother-in-laws do you have?

[Guest Lobo]

I’m guessing the blood stained blanket means he has one fewer now.  

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,817]

One of my mother-in-laws called my wife today and asked her if it was ok if she gave our youngest a peppa the pig and George toy for Christmas. Most people would assume there was no issue with this and ordinarily they would be correct. The problem with this particular gift is that these toys were purchased at an auction today in Waskom, Tx. The last thing she presented us from an auction was a blanket “for the baby” that had blood stains on them. She explained that she washed it “real good” before she gave it to us. I can’t wait to see what these mother fuckers look like.

Lol.. I'd love to hear the convo between you and your better half after hearing that news.

" fucking a why can't people just be fucking normal. I know her hearts in the the right place but fuck"

[G650 14,244]

5 hours ago, Buffsoldier said:

Let's back up there just a sec.

Just how many mother-in-laws do you have?

This is my question too

[EE2B 1,565]

Let's back up there just a sec.

Just how many mother-in-laws do you have?

Two. My wife’s parents are divorced.